Please help me look at the content and word count of each response. I cannot seem to get each of these responses to 100 words each. Furthermore, I do not know if the responses I've provided measure up with what the questions are asking.
What has most influenced your professional or career aspirations for the future?(100 words max).
Flying is a magical experience that has the power to transform every child's dream into a reality. Having said this, every time I see a pilot risk their life by helping people get to their destination, I cannot help but feel inspired. They make it their duty to protect the lives of their passengers before their own and in doing so show how selfless they can be. Heroes like captain Chesley Sullenberger inspire me to see the strength and devotion a man can have when facing a seemingly inevitable disaster. His response to his particular situation is something that made him a true hero. This is one of the many factors that makes pilots inspirational. They look for the wellbeing of others and place more importance on the safety of their passengers. Such quality is something that makes flying so magical. For this reason their work motivates me to pursue a career in aviation.
Describe an influential person in your life, and how he/she has helped change your view of yourself and the world. You may use examples from your family life, community service or extracurricular activities.(100 words max).
Seeing my mother guide me despite her inability to read and write in Spanish or English is something that until this day continues to inspire me. Not long ago, my mother was released from her job because her factory had closed. Because of this, she had to find a job that would allow her to work double shifts to help pay the rent at the end of every month. Through this experience, my mother taught me the importance of never giving up. She did not have to teach me with words what I was able to see with her actions. From this situation I was able to learn how adversity always tries to pull one down. However, when a person confronts adversity with a sense of determination and motivation there is nothing one cannot overcome. Everything becomes easier to see and confront, which makes the blind on our eyes fall, thus allowing us to see where we step.
Some believe that a person of character demonstrates the following six qualities: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship. Pick one of these qualities, describe the value of this quality, and, most importantly, explain how you have exemplified this trait. (100 words max).
The value of self-respect is something we often take for granted. However, only when our self-respect is threatened can we discover its importance. Not so long ago, I remember buying my grandmother a gift for her birthday. I had come across a salesperson who insisted that I was going to steal something from the store because I was an immigrant. Despite the horrendous comments of the gentlemen, I decided that it was best to remove myself from that environment. By removing myself from this environment, I was able to show the value respect has in my life. I demonstrated having respect for myself and the individual who had discriminated me.
Describe a time when you were in a leadership position. What obstacles did you have to overcome? How did you overcome those obstacles to obtain your goal? (100 words max).
As a member of a club at my school, Community Leader's Club, coming up with a way that my school could contribute to the effects of hurricane Sandy was challenging. The reason for this was because neither me nor the other students in the club could think of a way to contribute to this cause. It took everyone in the Community Leaders Club about a week to come up with a solution on what my school was going to do in order to help victims of hurricane Sandy. We had explored all of the options that were laid on the table and nothing seemed good enough. With the help of my principal and Global studies teacher, who had advised that we create a fundraising, the students and staff in my school began to take action. Such challenge was essential to experience because it taught me the importance of what one chooses to do and the impact that such action can have on the community. For this reason, choosing the best way to help was crucial to the success of the club at what it was intending to do; help victims who had lost most if not all of their possessions.
This is just a suggestion
Describe an influential person in your life...
Seeing my mother guiding me, despite of her illiteracy in both Spanish and English, is something that continues to inspire me until this day. Her endeavor, after closing the factory where she used to work, to find a new job and work double shifts, to pay the rent at the end of every month, implanted in me the value of perseverance. This experience has positively shaped my personality. It strengthened me and made me more determinative. It showed me that adversity makes the blind on our eyes fall, and allows us to see where we step.
96 words. I hope this can help.
Good luck
When writing a response that is less than 250 words in allowance, just respond to the question directly. There is no need for an introduction. That is what is constantly increasing your word count. You don't need the beginning of all of your responses. You just need to get to the point from the first sentence. Just offer up the immediate response and stop trying to set it up first. The set ups only work in full length essays of at least 250 words. That is not the case for your questions now.
For the first question, go directly to the inspiration that Capt Sully was for you. Relate your idea of being a selfless person and a hero to his experience of landing that plane and how it made you feel and think about becoming an aviator for a profession. There is no need to explain why you feel like flying is a magical state of being. That doesn't relate to the prompt. Remember what I always tell you, never deviate from the prompt requirements. That is where all the writing problems start.
Your second response, about your mother being your inspirational figure, is a good one. You have used an example that carries a personal connection for you and therefore, exemplifies the kind of person you should aspire to be, regardless of what you have or do not have in life. Good work on that one. If you remove the reference to your mother losing her job and having to take another job to make the rent, you will focus on her solely becoming your inspiration through her biggest drawback. That will bring it down to 98 words.
Your response to the question about human qualities is totally wrong. You can only pick from the six choices you were given. None of which include self-respect as a discussion. Since you did not pick the correct response for the prompt, you know what is going to happen to that response right? Exactly. So write a response based on one of the six choices that will make your response count instead of ignored.
The same goes for your response to the leadership question. The response is asking you to represent an instance of "solo not "group" leadership. Therefore, the response related to Hurricane Sandy is not as valid as it should be. Pick an instance when you had to lead a group on your own. When you were fully in charge without anyone to consult. What problems did you face and how did you make your decisions? Showcase your ability to think under pressure and react in a way that fits the situation. Kind of like how Sully had to show leadership when his plane had to make that emergency landing. Do you get my point?
Hello @ Vangiespen,
The essay that you are recalling was for another scholarship. These responses are for a completely different scholarship they are not for any type of college. Here I have attached the revised version of the last response. I did not find the need to change this event for another one since I was the one who had found the club that I mentioned before and also the one in charge of raising awareness for students who wanted to join the club.
Fourth Response:
Coming up with a way to get students in my school involved in helping victims of hurricane Sandy was challenging. However, I decided to make lists and paste them through the school in order to raise awareness. Two days after this, nearly 100 students had signed up, all of which were willing to devote time and effort to making this drive a success. Consequently, I had decided that conducting a food drive would be the best thing for this occasion. My successful approach to this problem led my school to collect $5,000 in cash and 800 canned goods.(99 words).
Brayan, the problem with your leadership position response is that you were the leader, decision maker, and implementer of the actions that had to be done. That is not how leadership works. Being a leader does not mean being a one person team. A leader knows how to form a team, encourage a team to work together, cooperate in all actions, and bask in the success of overcoming obstacles together. There is no sense of that in your previous or current response.
What you have to show in the leadership abilities are your skills at doing exactly what i mentioned above. After you got the group organized, what were the problems that you encountered? Probably some situations regarding team building would be a good topic to discuss in relation to your leadership skills. Don't make the leadership statement solely about you. Instead, show how you have the ability to lead people towards success. As they say, there is no "I" in the spelling of the word "TEAM". So show us how you managed to lead the team to accomplish the task you set out to do. It will be hard for the reviewer to believe that your organization members did not do anything during the drive and that you just acted alone. So be realistic.
You were almost on the right track with the way you threshed out your first response. All that was missing was the obstacle that you had to overcome with the team. Develop a response that involved teamwork with you as the leader of the team who brought the team to work together. That is what we are aiming for here :-)
