I need your comment on how my essay sounds. Did I use the right grammar and does sounds interesting or boring? Can I get your response as soon as possible, please. Thank you.
Here's the question to my essay:
What role will recieving a scholarship towards Georgetown summer program have in furthering your educational plans?
As a junior in high school, I've always endeavor working hard to pursue excellence in an ideal course of education. I believe the scholarship will allow the improvement of my leadership and intellectual skills, and by doing so, I will be interacting with different types of people in a college learning environment, learning others, and growing and building on to my character. Receiving a scholarship will not only be an award, but an investment in my future. A scholarships opportunity opens the door to a world class education. It will not only help me financially but it will enable me to participate in a summer program in which I will experience the college life before starting my freshman year. With a scholarship, I can have the opportunity to acquire knowledge, values, and outlook towards Georgetown's summer program. Coming from a family who've always stressed the importance of a college education, I prioritize to meet my full potential in various ways. My goal is to attain a college education and fulfill my aspiration of becoming an entrepreneur through business studies. Another goal I seek is to also participate in a summer program in which I'll able to experience the academic, social, and residential aspect of the college life. The scholarship will strengthen my opportunity to meet these goals such as taking businesses courses before actually getting into college to fulfill my goal of a business career. Furthermore, it can further my outlook on college, and show me what I can expect from the college life to prepare myself for the future. By receiving this scholarship, it means that I will be able to attend Georgetown Summer Program and focus on achieving my goals. A scholarship will suffice the need of achieving ones purpose and goals and influence one to emphasize the mind to work within that given time. Scholarships to me are personally rewarding because you can see your opportunities through the honor of someone or a memory that served you to learn new things and make connection with other students. It would be a great achievement to receive a scholarship for Georgetown summer program and have the opportunity to experience the college life first hand.
I believe the scholarship will allow me to improveimprovement of my leadership and intellectual skills, andby doing so, I will be interacting with different types of people in a college learning environment, learning others, and growing and building on to my character.while enhancing networking opportunities and broadening my perspectives.
You make lots of statements, but there's no proof or anything to convince them what you tell. It's better you talk through examples like real life events or situations. That'll be more convincing.
