How transport planning can change my country - OFID scholarship application

Please help me improve my essay i am applying for a scholarship

optimum use of the limited resources in malawi

My mother grew up at a time when educating women was not viewed as a priority and so most women like my mother only got primary school education but she knew it wasn't going to be enough to take care of her and her 4 children, It was farming through farming my mother took care of 4 kids fed them clothed them and sent them to school. But over the past few years the profits from selling her produce keep decreasing, I have not only seen this experience with my mother but also with other farmers in different rural areas I have worked in and fortunately for me I have also seen the big difference building a bridge or reshaping damaged road makes to them I never take the gratitude that these people show me for granted and for me that's where the true reward is.

According to the world bank and other research papers, 30% of Malawi's GDP comes from Agriculture not only that but agriculture also makes up 85% of export revenue, Malawi's GDP in 2008 was 8.00 billion USD and it dropped down to 6.57 billion USD in 2015 and this in my opinion will keep dropping if nothing is done, at the moment farmers are not so keen to grow any produce let alone export it due to the fact that 30% of the profits made go to the transportation bill, transportation costs in Malawi are so high due to the fact that roads in the rural areas are in a very bad condition and transporters charge a lot more to make up for the maintenance costs, delays etc. Now imagine the difference that farming would make to Malawi's economy if the roads farmers use were in a good condition but paradoxically despite all these facts at our disposal little attention has been paid to these rural roads.

My Passion for Transport Planning, 3.5/4 GPA and also my experience over the past year helping The Roads Authority of Malawi to come up with an effective and efficient maintenance plan which makes optimum use of the limited resources available by taking into consideration factors like economic growth social development and also the budget allocated while taking into consideration the return on the investments made on the chosen roads are what qualify me for this Scholarship.

Getting this scholarship to study MSc in Transport engineering and planning at UWE will a not only give me an opportunity to learn up to date transport planning methods that can be applied to real-world situations that will vastly improve my countries' economy, it will also give me an opportunity to meet more talented people who share the same passion, people who am confident will inspire, motivate and also encourage me and because in the Roads Authority of Malawi having a master's degree is a prerequisite for a managerial position where I can better help change and improve on policies and procedures this opportunity will truly bring me a step closer to my career goals.

Pamela, it would be best if you inform the reviewer of your acceptance to an accredited university within your essay. That way you show the committee that you are more than qualified to pass the screening part of the scholarship criteria. It is vital that you discuss how you plan to use your advanced knowledge in helping your country. Think of it as a post study plan being presented to the scholarship committee for consideration. What specific project do you have in mind for your country that you hope to implement when you get back after graduation? I don't see any clear reference to your post study plans in this essay. In fact, your essay seems to concentrate only on your previous experience. By the way, don't include the mention of your mother because that takes the attention of the reviewer away from you. Since your mother is not an integral part of the scholarship application process, don't refer to her at all. Also, don't lecture the reviewer about the GDP of Malawi unless your plan to help the country is directly related to that. In which case, if you are presenting a plan in relation to the GDP, shorten the background discussion and bring the focus to the expected effectiveness of your plan instead. So, your only problem paragraphs in this essay are paragraphs 1 and 2. If you adjust the essay using the advice given here or by referring to the requirements on the website of the scholarship program, the essay should fall into place with regards to delivering only the necessary information to the scholarship committee members.

Hey Holt thanks for the feedback took your advice and this is what i came up with.

Malawi depends on agriculture for its economic growth but over the past couple of years Malawi's economy has been deteriorating and one of the main reasons is that the profits made from the agricultural produce keep decreasing, at the moment farmers are not so keen to grow any produce let alone export it due to the fact that 30% of the profits made go to the transportation bill, transportation costs in Malawi are so high due to the fact that roads in the rural areas are in a very bad condition and transporters charge a lot more to make up for the maintenance costs, delays etc. Now imagine the difference that farming would make to Malawi's economy if the roads farmers use were in a good condition.

My experience in the construction Industry has been focused on projects in the rural areas and I have firsthand seen the struggles these farmers are having with the current road conditions and fortunately I have also seen the big difference building a bridge or reshaping damaged road makes, this difference is what motivated me to apply to the University of West England for their MSc in Transport Planning and Engineering Program and I believe that because of my Passion for Transport Planning, 3.5/4 GPA and also my experience over the past year helping The Roads Authority of Malawi to come up with an effective and efficient maintenance plan which makes optimum use of the limited resources available by taking into consideration factors like economic growth social development and also the budget allocated while taking into consideration the return on the investments made on the chosen roads I managed to get an unconditional offer from the university and it is these same factors that qualify me for this Scholarship.

Getting this scholarship to study MSc in Transport engineering and planning at UWE will a not only give me an opportunity to learn up to date transport planning methods that can be applied to real-world situations that will vastly improve my countries' economy, it will also give me an opportunity to meet more talented people who share the same passion, people who am confident will inspire, motivate and also encourage me and because in the Roads Authority of Malawi having a master's degree is a prerequisite for a managerial position where I can better help change and improve on policies and procedures.

With this Qualification I hope to Introduce the Roads Authority of Malawi to up to date software's like Roadroid which is a phone application used to collect road roughness data, QGIS an application used to display data collected in relation to its position on earth and HDM-4 which is a software used for the analysis, planning, management and appraisal of road maintenance, improvements and investment decisions. By using these three together it has proven to significantly save both time and money and it would help them pick which roads to priorities in order to get the maximum return on their investments.

Hi Pamela, I think that you can use this essay already. It contains the elements required of an OFID scholarship application as far as I can tell. you may want to double check the website to make sure that you have not missed any important points. I checked it myself just now and it seems to me that you have all the bases covered. However, you may want to further improve something in the essay content upon further review of your work in relation to the scholarship requirements. I don't suggest that though. The essay is already good enough to use. If you over analyze the content, you may ruin what is right now a perfectly usable essay. So consider this essay finalized and ready to submit. Good luck with your application. I hope you get the scholarship.

Thanks Holt i need all the luck i can get.