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'traveled to Mexico every summer / English teacher' - Hispanic scholarship fund

littleone 4 / 7 1  
Feb 14, 2012   #1
please, review my essays!
1) How has your hispanic heritage impacted your short/long term goals?
Over the past eleven years, my mother, my sister and I have traveled to Mexico every summer to visit our family that we are unable to see every day. Even now, I still remember our first trip like if it was yesterday at noon with the travel bus making a pit stop and I was seven. The bus driver open the door to let the passengers take a break from the trip, but my mom told to wait so I would not get lost between everybody, as I usually did back home. As she led me off the bus, she took ahold of my hand, and then I saw myself viewing Mexico: its people and the mysteries surrounding it.

I was child searching for treasures, exploring only to find that there was no gold or jewels. I viewed an unusual image compared to the United State. I saw kids my age working in the streets, coughing and sniffing, instead of attending school and receiving medical attention. This puzzled me and my mom answered my questioning look, "They work to help their parents with the finances because they need money to eat or need medicine for the family. Since the children have to work, they can't go to school and remember, here, school is not free." Before I left home, my Dad gave me twenty dollars to spend, and the money was just tickling in my pocket. I turned around to face the other kids, and distributed the money. Then, I turned to my Mom, "Now, they can help their Mommies and Daddies!"

Everywhere I turned, I saw families together struggling through obstacles, but continued to diligently pursue their objective, to work and to provide a better life for their children; an image familiar at home. In addition, there were residents working with open wounds or rash, but no sign of medical intervention. I remember an old man walking, no limping, through the street with a fragile wooden stick as a cane, and a dirty bandage over what appeared over an infected wound. Above all, there was a hospital with many ill patients needing help inside, and the line seem to continue outside. There were battered teens, abused wives, sick grandparents, and pregnant ladies in labor. Yet, despite there being doctors and nurses, their treatment to these patients was ill-mannered.

Consequently, their vulgar actions ignited a passion inside me at a young age, causing the reiteration of these words every year and every obstacle, "I going to be a doctor, but not like them." At every academic challenge, I face with the same determination with the same objective when I was seven. Similar to any other Hispanic, I turn to education to reach my dream to become a doctor, and to lift away my family from worries and struggles. The little kids' expression and dedication, and my family's' support, aided me in embracing the opportunity I have to study and achieving my rank as number one in my class. Yet, I still have much to learn from society, schools, and countries on my path to become a doctor. After all, at seven, I was awe-struck from what I experienced in Mexico, now I am more than determined to explore past my little life.

2) describe an academic challenge you faced and how you overcame it.
"Calculus homework. Eat. English Paper due tomorrow! Calculus homework. Eat. English Paper due tomorrow!" these words played in the back of my mind like a broken CD player with an old CD. My first English paper for a dual-credit college course in high school was due tomorrow and I was anxious! I did not know what my English teacher, also a Spanish teacher, expected in my English paper or her writing opinions. I already had my paper typed, but I still felt my paper needed revision, due to not having a strong grammar background. To ease my doubt, I decided to stay afterschool to receive help from my English teacher, and at first I thought my decision was a mistake.

"NO.NO.NO. Your Paper is all wrong!" my English teacher proclaimed, making my doubts come true, "Your sentence structure is all backwards like you are writing and processing information in Spanish, but then translating it in English. " At that moment, I wished I only spoke English because all of the hard work I put into writing that paper was pointless, yet, not pointless as her comment stirred a deep thought. My English teacher explained that when I write, the subject of the sentence lied at the end of the sentence indicating the Spanish sentence structure. Although I process information in English, Spanish is my first language but I never realized that was evident in my writing. She was able to uncover this flaw that flowed with me every year unnoticed.

Honestly, I did not know what to do, especially now as it seemed impossible to correct a lifetime long error. Although, my English teacher helped me rearrange and edit my essay, she stated to work on my grammar to improve on my writing. Similar to a President with a new political issue to resolve, I dedicated my spare time to work on my grammar and writing. In addition, I often visited my teacher afterschool for direction in certain grammar rules and feedback on my written papers.

Eventually, my writing and grammar have improved in structure and matured in perspective. I managed to separate my Spanish and English to their own specialized role in my life. My English teacher discovered a hidden obstacle that deadened my writing, and enabled me to liven it up. Moreover, I look forward to each paper to see the comments and review my errors with eagerness to correct. My journey in life to pursue my education continues and does not stop to an obstacle, not even a hidden one like grammar.


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