Leadership and Influencing essay for chevening
Hello ... Please give me your feedback on my essay:
I found that TRUST was the key word of leadership, trust that will them explore new dimensions of practicality, through taking actions, clarifying the mission and vision of every single step taken.
I was assigned as a project officer for the rehabilitation and fortification of Avicenna hospital in Syria. The most challenging thing was how to achieve the goals of the project especially that we were managing the project remotely with the cooperation of the engineers inside Syria. To achieve this, I knew that the key to success is to interact with our team in Syria to seek their opinion as they are more aware of the real situation, so we conducted meetings, defined goals and obstacles that we may face during the implementation process. I emphasized on the importance of commitment for each member of the team, the more we communicated the better results we got, this strategy made all team members trust each other's opinion and in turn trusted the approach I suggested in the begging of the project.
Another opportunity that I recently had and truly consider it the ultimate chance ,is planning and designing the first sustainable village inside Syria in collaboration with other engineers and supervised by NGO, benefiting from my certificate in environmental design, and aiming to include all the participants with putting all non-engineering members in a full aware of the core concept of environmental design in order to involve everyone in the same working knowledge and spirit , optimize project results, and maximize efficiency through all phases of design.
In order to achieve this, I promoted to adopt the integrative process approach so all team members work communicate and be involved in the project design.
I believe that if I became one of the chevening community I will be able to develop my leadership skills through learning from other experiences, and will be able to make a difference in my country's development.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 @Halatai This essay is not clearly indicative of your leadership and influencing skills. As a project officer, you have too much reference to group collaboration as opposed to individual leadership. There is too much open discussion taking place instead of influencing procedures on your part. There is no clear definition of obstacles encountered during the project and the type of leadership and influencing skills that were required in order to resolve the situation. You are not being asked to detail your duties and responsibilities, nor are you being asked to explain how you accomplished your work assignments, you are being tasked to prove that you actually led a group towards success.
Both essays are limited in scope in relation to the two required topics. While you may use two examples if you wish, when neither of them are effective in portraying the development, implementation, and results of your leadership and influencing, it will always be better to just focus on one strong example. The problem, is that both examples presented in this essay are weak. I am not sure it is because of your ineffective presentation or because of the lack of skills on your part.
The best thing for you to do is write a new essay. Try to choose an event during your career or community service that you feel best explains your leadership style and influencing process. Don't just write the essay for the sake of writing it. Make your essay count, your application depends on it. Think about how you can make it stronger. Consider all the aspects of your career at the moment and then decide how to best present the essay. Try to do it in its strongest form. Don't try to introduce 2 examples at once. Work with one example first and see how effective you can make it. Sometimes one perfect example is better for your application than 2 examples that are little effective in presentation.
