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Trying to apply for the KGSP program - writing essay based on the guidelines below

Phoenix91 1 / 2  
Sep 14, 2018   #1

question for my KGSP Personal Statement

I am trying to apply for the KGSP program and i would hope someone could help me with my personal statement?
Here are the guidelines
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

It is without a doubt that South Korea is one of the powerhouses of the world. However, what is more impressive is how it became so advanced in a record amount of time. While I love my country and I am proud of being a Venezuelan, I have to admit that the technological and educational developments in Korea would make for an environment in which I could thrive. This is one of the reasons why I believe that this program- the Korean Government Scholarship Program- is an incredible opportunity for me.

Nevertheless, as I have always been a bit of a romanticist at heart, my interests had always turned to the old and mythical. Ever since I was a child, I have been in love with East Asia and its' ancient culture. However, the culture that drew my attention the most was South Korea. It was something about the mellifluous sound of the Korean Language, or the aesthetic qualities of Hangul, or the majestic and imposing look of Hangbok, that completely captivated me. Having the opportunity to experience first-hand a culture that can be found nowhere else in the world has to be the main reason why I chose this program as the perfect one for me.

In this program I am hoping to either acquire a Fine Arts or English language and Literature degree. Fine art has always been a skill in which I found extreme ease in ever since I was young. Throughout my entire life I have won many an art contest, and participated in several art presentations in which my work was highly praised, as well as purchased. I had the great fortune of having an Italian art teacher that instructed me in the subtleties of art -many an occasion calling me top of my school- and thus helped me fine-tune my work. However, I wish to take my art skills to the next level by obtaining a Fine Art degree. Living in South Korea would not only aid me in attaining my desired skills, but help me raise in the art community as Seoul is one of the major capitals of the world.

As for English, it is something that I have come to excel at in the last few years. I have always been the top of my grade in the subject. Although it was a language I learnt in 4 months when I was 11, I performed better than the native speakers in my school, and would read the works of Shakespeare and Spencer as recreational pastimes. My skills also shined in the contests, as I won many competitions in both creative writing and poetry. South Korea's advanced educational curriculum is what leads me to believe that it will be the exact place in which I can challenge myself and thus became an outstanding scholar of the English language, and bring prestige to my chosen University.

Throughout my life, I have had the great opportunity of living in three extremely diverse countries. I grew up in the revelrous culture of Venezuela and have imbibed its amicable sense of comraderie. Venezuelans are a merry sort of people, always indulging in the finer things in life; which I came to love as I grew. However, they were also religious. Although being raised a Hinduist by my parents, since we dwelled in my grandmother's house for economic reasons, whom were both Catholics, I was in contact with both religions, and learned to appreciate both in my own sort of way.

By age 11, We left everything we had and settled ourselves in the small island of Trinidad and Tobago. The island, though only four hours by boat from the coast of Venezuela, seemed like a completely new word to me; with its foreign language, diverse races and religions that were all very alien to me. However, as I soon started school, I was able to adapt to my surroundings. At the end of the year I was to write an entrance examination to High School, even though I barely knew a word in the language I was to write the examination in. Nevertheless, I took this challenge and persevered. Within the first few months of school I had become part of the top three students of my class, performing greater than all the native English students; as well as advanced math that was high school level in my country. I presented my exam and exceeded on it and became the very first valedictorian that was an immigrant in my school- all in a year's work.

My first year in High School was just as full of learning academically as well as spiritually. I at once became top of my grade, being the most awarded student, receiving five pink cards (given to those that achieved 80% or higher on their exam), thus obtaining two golden cards, each given for every five pink cards received. Moreover, as I was placed in a Muslim school, I was able to attain knowledge on Islam and its beauty, and thus come to appreciate and respect their traditions and understanding.

When I turned 15, my parents chose to move to a country where we could thrive amongst people that shared our faith- so to India we left. Having lived in so many countries broadened my perspective on life. I am sure that this ease of adaptation to new environments will come in handy in South Korea, as I would not suffer from a culture shock.

Here in India, I have been in many situations that proved to be incredible teachers. The first is living in an International community, where I was exposed to countless lifestyles and ideologies, which I learnt to accommodate and relish. Thanks to this, I hope to bring to my University the influence of a variety of cultures from all over the planet. Furthermore, as people left constantly and new people arrived, I was forced to expand my social skills, making me able to befriend people swiftly and adapt to any milieu. I was lucky that my father's cultural group was sponsored to visit different parts of the country, so I was able to gain experience in travelling, as well as living alone.

Through the years I came to accumulate a diverse verity of skills. Since my father is a musician, I learnt to play the guitar, and would apply my poetry knowledge to create lyrics. I joined a local theater group, where I not only acted in many plays and performed traditional Indian dances, but wrote scripts and even directed some performances. Another dexterity that I obtained was a cosmetic one, as I took an apprenticeship under a makeup artist, as well as a tattooing course that helped me have different perspectives on art and its' influence. Additionally, I worked part time at a day-care with small children, where I was able to master the skills of responsibility and leadership, as well as how to take control of a situation when required.

At the end of the day, I hope to learn many more lessons in Korea during my stay there, so that when I visit my international friends, I would be able to be a sort of ambassador, and be able disseminate the great culture that is Korea.

shahriar10 3 / 5  
Sep 14, 2018   #2
You seem to have written a great essay.

But I think you should avoid difficult English words. Because as far as I know South Koreans are not expert in English but good. So it's better to write in comparatively easier English as advised by a KGSP-scholar of my country.
OP Phoenix91 1 / 2  
Sep 15, 2018   #3
I thought so too, but my major is English Language and Literature, so my teacher told me to make it more flamboyant.
I am so nervous lol
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,504 2954  
Sep 15, 2018   #4
Nrayani, do not insult the intelligence of the Korean reviewer by downscaling your language. If you wish to be flowery and imaginatively expressive in your essay then so be it. You are not dealing with lowly educated Koreans here, you are dealing with highly educated, sometimes even internationally educated scholarship reviewers in this instance. A majority of them will be fluent English speakers because of the extremely high level of their international education. Believe me, they will not be on the KGSP committee if they are only mid range educated. Lowering your vocabulary standards because you are sure they will not understand you is an underestimation of the Korean level of education in all aspects. Do not, I repeat, do not change your essay to simplify the words. You come across as a highly educated person in this piece of writing even though you are not yet a college graduate and that, is something that you should definitely take full advantage of.

Now, you have a very interesting background presented here. Unfortunately it falls short when it comes to the information about why you chose to study in Korea. Rather than saying that you have an interest in Asian culture, you must focus your response on the reasons why you believe that you will excel in your major of choice. Do not confuse the reviewer by showing indecisiveness on your part through the indication of 2 possible majors. You need to show a sense of conviction and motivation for one of the majors you have chosen. I believe the choice should be Fine arts instead of an English Literature degree since an English Lit degree will best be served by studying its history in a native English speaking country where the history of the language emanated from. However, if you are planning to show some sort of connection between English Lit and Korean history in your study plan, then you can indicate English Lit as your major. Fine Arts would be a better choice as far as I am concerned because there are definitely Korean artists who were influenced by the Western world of arts and that could make for an interesting study / major. Pick one, don't present a half baked essay by saying you are considering 2 majors. The scholarship committee needs to consider your application based on an actual not optional major.

As for the section about your fluency in English, take that paragraph out and save it for your Korean and English study plan. That will be more helpful and better discussed in that essay presentation. That is not a required discussion in this prompt anyway. Just present a discussion based on the prompt provided information list.

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