Tuberculosis/ Clone; Motivation letter

kindly see the motivation letter below. I request all of you to give your valuable inputs on all aspects apart from scientific content.

Tuberculosis (TB) is a major public health problem in India. As per the data presented by WHO, India accounts for one-fifth of the global TB incident cases. Each year nearly 2 million people in India develop TB, of which around 0.87 million are infectious cases. It is estimated that annually around 330,000 Indians die due to TB. Currently a new form of tuberculosis called as MDR-TB or multi drug resistant tuberculosis is arising due to due to improper use of antibiotics in chemotherapy of drug-susceptible TB patients. Role of x has already been well established in the diagnosis and treatment of tuberculosis/MDR-TB as well as other fatal diseases such as chronic granulomatous disease (CGD), chronic myeloid leukemia (CML), severe malignant osteopetrosis, Systemic lupus erythematosus, AIDS & oral submucous fibrosis and Clinical trials of x for the treatment of Multi drug resistant tuberculosis, renal cell carcinoma and severe atopic dermatitis are ongoing. India has the world's fourth largest population suffering from AIDS. Areca nut chewing is very common among Indian Population which gives rise to oral submucous fibrosis which can be a new epidemic in the sub-continent. Till now X has been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for use in children and adults with chronic granulomatous disease (CGD) and severe malignant osteopetrosis and the drug is being manufactured and marketed as X by an American company X in the American as well as European countries. But currently x is not available in the Indian market. Any Indian/International company is neither manufacturing nor marketing x in the Indian market instead importing the drug is the only option for Indian patients which is extremely expensive. One vial of X having 2 million IU/100Îźg of recombinant X costs 344 USD. As per the guidelines of X for the treatment of CGD, 50 mcg/m˛ of X should be administered three times a week for 9 months. When calculated total cost of treatment of CGD is 37,152 USD or 2 million INR. For my doctoral research I have planned to develop a bioprocess for the production of recombinant human x and commercialize the process by technology transfer. This will open up the doors for a cheap yet extremely valuable drug for Indian population and Indian patient will no longer need to rely on European or American companies for the treatment. In this work I have planned for secretory expression of X protein in X expression system followed by purification, characterization and fermentation studies. Secretory expression of protein reduces the downstream processing cost drastically but lack of an affinity tag makes the purification part a bit tough. Also I have cloned X gene in X expression system. I wish to carry out a part of my thesis in the lab of Dr. X, as his lab has extensive experience in the purification of biomolecules and with his help I plan to develop a rapid and cost effective process for the X purification. Additionally In the lab of Dr. X a few X strains have been recently engineered to maximize plasmid production. I plan to test my plasmid with these strains in order to enhance X production. I believe with the aid of X I will be able to produce excellent results and a hope of better treatment for Indian population.

"As perAccording to the data presented by WHO," I would use this introduction.
"I believe with the aid of X I will be able to produce...a hope of better treatment" i really doubt that you can produce a hope! I would do like this "I believe with the aid of X I will be able to produce excellent results and to gift a hope of better treatment to Indian people.

hope this will help. good job btw