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I am not the typical nerd although I am intelligent and studious girl


nikol 1 / -  
Mar 15, 2015   #1
I am intelligent and studious girl but I am not the typical nerd, my name is Kelly Paucar, I am sixteen years old and I study in "Manuela Cańizares" High School. I live my life and I love to enjoy all the time because I am a teenager but I am not like a normal teenager because I take my studies very seriously and have dreams and goals for my future and I never give up easily I am going to try and try until make my dreams come true.

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btrfly7 - / 15 6  
Mar 15, 2015   #2
I am intelligent and studious girlput comma here (two sentences joined by the words and, but, or, or nor take a comma before the conjunction...always) but I am not the typical nerd.(place a period at the end of every sentence)myMy name is Kelly Paucar . (Place a period at the end of every sentence) I am sixteen years old and I study in "Manuela Cańizares" High School. I live my life and I love to enjoy all the time because I am a teenager but I am not like a normal teenager because I take my studies very seriously and have dreams and goals for my future and I never give up easily . I am going to try and try until make my dreams come true. Great introduction paragraph. I am looking forward to reading the rest of the essay)

(To begin with) I was born in Quito in 1998. I live with my family in Sangolquí. I grew up as a only daughter but now I have two little sisters. I always have the support of my parents in everything that I decide to do, especially in my education because this is the most important for me .inasmuch asBecause of this I will have more opportunities in life to be successful.

MyOne reason is that my parents have a lot of confidence in me. I remember my dad always saysalways saying to me : "The words 'I cannot' do not exist," so I strive in all that I do.

I studied in Juan Montalvo School, and I was the second standard-bearer. I startedbeganhere my sportswoman time. I used to practice athletics, and I won a lot of competitions in triple and long jump; but I stopped in 10th grade in the high school. During this time I strived a lot because I used to practice the sport five days a week. and also I had my English course in the first I stress a lot because sometimes I did not sleep but after I only needed to organize my time and adapt me at my schedules.(I also had an English course, and I stressed a lot because sometimes I did not sleep much.

Now, I performance in my academics with constant score of eight or nine; moreover, I am one of the First students in my class because when I propose something, I fight for it.

The last school yearLast year I received an invitation for the International Baccalaureate (IB) but I refused this opportunity. (It would help here to explain why you refused the opportunity) For the IB applied as seventy students but only twenty five students are admitted in the program every year, and I was one of them.

Others important things about me areIt was. important to me that I study English in "Global English Total Learn System." and I improve a lot of my languageI have improved very much, and now I can speak wewith other people. I can understand the conversation when I talk with others. Futhermore I love to read. I spent a lot of time in books. Also I am very sociable and outgoing; moreover, I can adapt to any situation. (It might help here to give an example about how you can adapt to any situation)

My main goal is to study in the USA, and for this reason I am very interested in your program. Only give an opportunity andIf given the opportunity, I promise that I am going to give the best of me. I want to have a higher education and after I willso I can be the best professional in my career.

I am sure you will find me a deserving party for Fulbright because I have an excellent academic record and leadership potential.

Hello Nikol. You have a lot of great points here. Just try to make shorter sentences that end with a period. Also, what may help is to read the essay out loud...you will be able to make corrections as you go along as well. You may want to add an example of your leadership skills as well. You are off to a great start here. Keep going for it!
Ashley_W 2 / 2 1  
Mar 15, 2015   #3
I try my best to correct some grammar mistakes. Hope it helps.

I am intelligent and studious girl but I am not the typical nerd. My name is Kelly Paucar, I am sixteen years old and I study in "Manuela Cańizares" High School. I live my life and I love to enjoy all the time because I am a teenager. However, I am not like a normal teenager because I take my studies very seriously and have dreams and goals for my future and I never give up easily. I am going to try hard until making my dreams come true.

I was born in Quito in 1998. I live with my family in Sangolquí. I grew up as a only daughter but now I have two little sisters. I always have the support of my parents in everything that I decide to do, especially in my education because this is the most important for me in as much as I will have more opportunities in life to be successful.

My parents have a lot of confidence in me, I remember my dad always says to me [font#008000'There is no 'can't in my dictionary" and I strive in all that I do.

I studied in Juan Montalvo School and I was the second standard- bearer. I started here my sportswoman time. I used to be an athlete and have won a lot of competitions in triple and long jump, but I stopped in 10th grade in the high school. During this time I strive a lot, I used to practice the sport five days a week, and I had to take my English course I felt stressedout because sometimes I did not sleep but after I only needed to organize my time and adapt me at my schedules.

Now, I am a straight A student.Moreover I am one of the top students in my class because I fight for what I want to achieve.

The last school year I received an invitation for the International Baccalaureate (IB) but I refused (declined) this opportunity. I was one of the 25 five students out the 70 applicants being admitted into IB. Others important things about me are that I study English in "Global English Total Learn System" and I improve a lot of my language and now I can speak with others people and I can understand the conversation when I talk with others. Futhermore I love reading , I spent a lot of time reading books. Additionally, I am very sociable and outgoing; moreover I can adapt myself to any situation.

My main goal is to study in USA. and for this reason I am very interested in your program. Only give an opportunity and I promise that I am going to give the best of me. I want to have a higher education to shape me into a professor in my career .

I am sure you will find me a deserving party for Fulbright because I have an excellent academic record and leadership potential.


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