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Undergraduate Global Excellence Scholarship - What makes you excellent?


ayemar 1 / -  
Mar 21, 2023   #1
Hello! I am applying for a computer science degree at the University of Warwick and would love to take any advice on my scholarship essay.

Here is the prompt:

What makes you excellent?



Here is my response:
Repayment is what drives me to succeed. As a teacher at my school, my mother earned a significant children's discount, allowing me to study at an excellent institution. I wanted to show my appreciation for her by doing my best academically, so I prioritised my studies. Because of the habits I formed by pursuing my studies seriously earlier than others, I achieved the top spot in my school in 2017. From then on, I developed a persistent work ethic that I believe is crucial to my success in high school.

Although my school doesn't hold any after-school activities, I brought it upon myself to develop my programming skills at home. Recently, my lack of focus became an issue when solving challenging assignments. I found myself escaping to distractions such as surfing the web or visiting social networks, wasting critical study time. To mitigate this, I completed a Python course to develop the skills required to build my first personal project, a website blocker. Blacklisting my most frequently visited websites while studying helped me minimise the unhealthy habit of excessively using them. Seeing my own code become helpful to me cemented my love for coding and made me realise that I can use it to solve many problems encountered in daily life.

With supplementary knowledge gained from online programming guides, I aim to create a personalised "focus mode", a program that would essentially cut out all social networking sites, messaging apps, and games when I run it. I hope to complete this full-scale project in the next two months and am excited to see what changes it will make to my study habits.

Apart from academics, I heavily absorb myself in Islamic studies as an integral part of my identity. In 2018, I completed a six-year 'Tahfeeth' program at my school, where selected students completely memorised the Holy Qur'an alongside their regular studies. To me, memorising the Qur'an is a lifelong journey. Even after four years of completion, I still revise its verses three days a week to conserve my previous knowledge. Retaining the title of a Hafith (a person who knows the Quran by heart) is an accolade I intend to preserve for the rest of my life. I feel that joining the Warwick Islamic Society and engaging with an active Muslim community will help me achieve this aim and strengthen my connection with my faith.

396 words
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4770  
Mar 22, 2023   #2
You fall short in terms of qualifying factors for this scholarship. Your academic achievements do not warrant any consideration since you did not respond with the type of academic recognition required beyond the classroom awards resulting from standard exams. Extra curricular achievements fall flat in terms of sporting, music, and other skills. Basically, you tried your best to selectively respond to the prompts listed, but failed to achieve your purpose. By not responding to the other information requirements, and presenting a tepid response in this essay, you have disqualified yourself from consideration. It is important that you try to achieve a response presentation that will make you stand out as an extra ordinary student because right now, you only appear as ordinary and insignificant to the screener.


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