Hi! Could you please check & correct my essay. Your suggestions and opinions would be immensely helpful!!! please !please !please! today last day
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Personal background in family and education
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.
Kyrgyzstan will soon become a member of the Customs Union and already in December of 2014 it will be a member of EAEU, these will open great opportunities for the expansion of small and big business, and it will become a bridge between Kyrgyzstan and Korea and other countries. Using the educational experience and skills, I would like to benefit not only my country, but also to make contribution to the field of research and development for these two countries
I was born in a middle class family, that strongly believe in the possibility of education and appreciate it. My parents are engaged in small business, and they want their children to receive a good education, Education is an extremely important phenomenon in the society, and it teaches us in different areas for extra courses. My elder sister has got a degree in pharmacy and now she lives and works in Russia with her husband. My younger sister is 11th grade pupil at the end of the school wants to go to a medical university.
From the very childhood I tried to learn well, rooting for each of the assessment. And getting good grades requires effort and Truda achieved good results as evidenced by my achievement. in 2012 I was awarded " best student of the year" and was an active participant in school-wide and zonal events, leading many competitive programs, participant of various pomegranate projects
We live in an age of rapid development of information technology, where it is necessary to know English language and computer literacy and I follow these principles have successfully completed the courses and received the necessary knowledge in computer and English language. I have a diploma in English language and computer and a lot of the results I have achieved through sport. Exercise helps a person to be hardy and resistant. I went in for several sports; Taekwondo, soccer and freestyle wrestling. After 3 years of going in for Taekwondo I got (red belt), and in the future I will not stop and will continue classes in Taekwondo, I went in for freestyle wrestling and received many medals and awards, I was the winner and a champion in the individual championship in the Osh region. Only in sport I got 5 gold, 2 silver and 9 bronze medals, and 16 Certificates and 2 Cups.
I hope that by submitting an application to KGSP I will get a quality education within the walls of your wonderful institution where there is a material and technical base. Obtained here education and experience will be responded high. And this program will be a springboard, and will help to make the first step towards my goal. I think this is the perfect choice
I know that there are hundreds of other candidates, but I can proudly say that I have prepared alone for this program. For two months. All these are my own ideas and nobody helped me in writing and full filling the application
2 A. 한국입국 전 후 학위과정 수학에 필요한 외국어(한국어, 영어 등) 능력을 향상시키기 위한 계획
Study plans to improve foreign languages(Korean, English, etc) required for taking a bachelor's degree course
BEFORE and AFER you come to Korea.
After successful completion of high school with honor, I came to South Korea by D-4 visa to study Korean language. And I entered the Inha University and during the year received the topic of the level 3. I know that this will help me to access to University. I know that a year is not enough to learn the language and culture. I was always ready to learn Korean language because Korean language is one of the most common languages of the world. During the time I spent here I got used to the way of Korean people life, the local mentality, food, etc. In fact, I like Korean culture and attitude of Korean people to work and life. In South Korea, everyone who makes an effort to achieve their goals achieves them. Here I will be able to use my knowledge with the highest benefit to the society and state. I am now preparing for the next Korean topic to get a level advanced. and also now I am studying the English language. This will help me a lot in communication and speaking in the global scale. After arriving to Korea I want to get TOEFL.
B. 학위과정 수학 계획 (대학 및 전공 선택 이유, 학업 목표와 계획, 수학 후 계획을 기재하고, 진학 희망 대학별 전공이 다른 경우에는 분리하여 기술하시오)
Study plan for a bachelor's degree course (Please state the reason you choose such universities and departments (or majors), your academic goals, specific plans (including timeline) to achieve them, and future plan after completion of your study. In case that preferred departments (or majors) of the preferred universities are different, please mention about them separately.)
The reason for choosing this MBA comes from the fact that it will allow me to deeply understand the important connection of business. All that knowledge is necessary for my further career aspirations of becoming an internal auditor with an excellent cognition of Business.
Furthermore, I believe MASTER BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION could give me the opportunity to study and working in an international environment, create new relationships with people from different cultures and broaden my horizons. Moreover, completion a undergraduate degree in MBA will help me to achieve my personal goal: to make a contribution to my country's economic development.
I choose these three universities because: it is one of the best universities in Korea, and these universities has an outstanding and high quality system of education excellent teachers, a huge selection of areas and specialties, international educational activities. Besides these universities offers various possibilities: competitions, grants, sports activities and much more. I hope that by studying here, I greatly broaden their horizons and get pleasure from studying. I want to be one of the best students of these universities, and I will make every effort to do so. It is in these universities have a huge prospect of becoming a highly qualified specialist.
After my undergraduate DEGREE I would like to continue as a Master degree in Korea if given a chance. As a member of the society, I want to pay back the institutions and people who have played a part in my development, including my final higher education institute.
I was born in a middle class family, which strongly believes in the possibility of education and also appreciates it.
in theour? society,
teaches us in different areas for extra courses. what are you trying to say by this sentence?
is a 11th grade pupil at the end of the schooland she wants to go to a medical university. in the future
triedhave been trying to learn well,
And getting good grades requires effort and Trudawho is Truda achieved good results as evidenced by my achievements .
leading many competitive programs, participant ofand participating in various pomegranate projects
andnot needed I follow these principles , and I have successfully completed the courses and have received the
a lot of the results I have achieved through sport. and also a lot of achievements in the sport's field.
After 3 years of going in for Taekwondo I got (red belt)"a red belt" , and in the future I will not stop and will continue taking Taekwondo classes .
,. I went in for freestyle wrestling and received many medals and awards, and I was the winner and a champion in the individual championship in the Osh region.
Only in sportAt any rate, in the filed of sport I have got 5 gold, 2 silver and 9 bronze medals, and 16 Certificates , and 2 Cups.
willwould get a quality education within the walls of yourthis wonderful institution where there is a material and technical base.which is material and technical based
Obtained here education and experience obtained here will be highly regarded .
And this program will be a springboard, and will help me to make themy first step towards my goal.
. I think this is the perfect choicenot necessary
for this program for two months. All these are my own ideas and nobody helped me in writing and full filling the applicationnever ever write a sentence liek this in your application
After successful completionsuccessfully completing theof high school with honor,
And I entered the Inha University don't use so many "and"s. They are not really necessary and they seem excessive.
scale. After arriving to Korea I want to get TOEFL. this sentence is so abrupt. Maybe you should change it a bit so it would fit the scale
Tip: Try not to use "i know this, I know that" you can mention what you know in normal sentences instead of adding I know at the beginning.
further career's aspirations of becoming
study and working in an
cultures, and it could also broaden my horizons.
completion acompleting an undergraduate degree in MBA will
outstanding and high quality system of education excellent teachers, are you talking about the teachers or the system of the education? It is unclear in this sentence.
specialties, and international educational activities.
Besides, these universities offers various possibilities:
I greatly broaden their horizons and get pleasure from studying. you are going to broaden whose horizon?
It is in these universities have a huge prospect of becoming a highly qualified specialist.In these universities one have a huge prospect of becoming a highly qualified specialist
Hope my tips were useful. :)
