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Scholarship For the United World College. My Personal statement. Assist me where possible.


Queenofhearts99 1 / 3 1  
Jan 5, 2016   #1
WRITE A STATEMENT OF NO MORE THAN A PAGE OUTLINING YOUR INVOLVEMENTAL IN THE COMUNITY

Martin Lutter King once said: " The first question which the priest and the Levitedge asked was: "If I stop to help this man, what will happen with me?" But... the good Samaritan reversed the question: "If I don't stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" My mother always tells me that favourite Bible story as a child was the story of the Good Samaritan and I believe it has impacted my life.

I am registered as a blood donor and donate blood to the Namibian Blood Transfusion Services (NAMBTS). To donate blood is to donate life. The first time I donated blood I was sure that I wanted to do so. I learnt the importance of donating blood through my 14 year old nephew who grew up with us at home. He is a Leukemia survivor and often had to have blood transfusion from the age of five.

In grade 7 and 8 I participated in HIV awareness campaigns as a peer eduactor and also performed in HIV awareness dramas. Taking part in these campaigns has helped me to see the importance of educating my peers about HIV/AIDS as many young people are affected by the disease.

I spent a week in an informal settlement participating in a youth outreach and clean up of the community in Five Rand, Okahandja. We donated food and household items to the needy and helped to clean up the rubbish. Being part of the outreach was an eye opener. It made me realize how others have so little whilst others have so much are not grateful for what they have in life. It was so wonderful spreading joy to the less fortunate and the best part was seeing the smiles on their faces , especially the children.

I volunteered at my local library for two years which has enhanded my love for reading. It is important that young Namibians continue to be encouraged to read more.

I have also had the opportunity to assist at the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in my local towncaring for dogs. I love dogs and I had an amazing experience caring, washing, de-ticking and walong the dogs. At home I always help our dog deliver it's puppies.

I often go to the hospital with my mother to pray for the sick. This is one of the activities that has inspired me to become a medical doctor in the future.

In conclusion Dieter Feb. Uchdorf once said: " In the end the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of greater importance."

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 5, 2016   #2
Elizabeth, you have one too many quotes in this essay. When you are discussing a prompt this personal, it is always best to avoiding using prompts all together. I don't see why you could not open the essay with the reference to your being a blood donor. It was something quite eye catching and interesting to read. In fact, my eyes were immediately drawn to that, not the quote from Martin Luther King Jr.

If you remove the reference to praying for the sick with your mother, you will be doing yourself a favor. At this point in time, when the discussion about religion is at a heightened state of tension, it is best to not make any reference to such activities. Just in case. You never know if you might end up offending the reviewer somehow with that reference.

So, if you will just remove the quotations at the beginning of the essay then omit the reference to prayer at the end, the rest of the essay actually shows you off as a highly active person with a strong sense of community and civic duty, which is exactly what the prompt expects you to do :-)
OP Queenofhearts99 1 / 3 1  
Jan 5, 2016   #3
Thank you for taking time to respond and comment on my statement. I have taken note of your advice. Much appreciated.
OP Queenofhearts99 1 / 3 1  
Jan 5, 2016   #4
Thank you for taking time to respond and comment on my statement. I have taken note of your advice. Much appreciated.
Elizabeth is my userror name but Avihe is my original name.
OP Queenofhearts99 1 / 3 1  
Jan 5, 2016   #5
Thank you for taking time to respond and comment on my statement. I have taken note of your advice. Much appreciated.
Elizabeth is my user name but Avihe is my original name.


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