University Choices in UK - Chevening Question

Hello, friends..
I need comment and feedback for my essay regarding to Chevening application. Kindly you would help me to check about the content, coherence, grammar, and whatever that would make my essay better. I really appreciate any kind of help, thank you..

Outline why you have selected your chosen three university courses, and explain how this relates to your previous academic or professional experience and your plans for the future.

*Please do not duplicate the information you have entered on the work experience and education section of this form (minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)

water management schools choice

I have high interest in applying technology to help decision maker managing water that used to public purposes and further development to prevent water scarcity. I have realized that become a qualified professional, who masters that two goals, not only enough titled as bachelor degree, but also need comprehensive integrating, planning, and analyzing abilities, which can be obtained in master education level.

I would like to mention that my bachelor study on Environmental Engineering and my previous work experience in-lined with my study in higher degree. My academic background had provided me with solid foundation of environmental aspects by developing bachelor thesis about rural water supply system. Then, my work experience in Ministry of Public Works and Housing resulted that most of local water companies (PDAMs) had low performance due to funding issue and limited water resources that caused insufficient water supply to community in regional level. This also revived my understanding in central government that the utilization of water resources led to conflicts of interest and unsynchronized national planning program.

I have chosen three universities that offer master program in water management.
First, the University of Exeter is ranked 13th in the UK by The Guardian University Guide and fifth in the UK among engineering subjects. The university offers water engineering course with management that more concentrated on water for urban development, which fits my future plans. The Hydroinformatics module in particular will help me how to apply ICT regarding to manage water resources with the population expanding. I am able to build my own decision support system up solving urban water needs issues in Indonesia with knowledge enhancement from Water Supply, Distribution, and Management in Development Countries modules. This course is also linked to the University of Exeter's Center for Water Systems, where I may learn and develop water loss reduction by PDAMs' assets optimization from the expertise lays there.

Second, I have selected master program in the University of Bristol because it provides theoretical and practical skills of governing water processes and environment sustainably. The course is completed with Integrated Catchment Management module, which involves different sectors needing water resources. This enable me to use computing analysis dealing with water resources conflicts of interest in Indonesia by applying integrated planning of surface water combine with appropriate policy and regulation from Environmental Management, Policy, and Regulation module. It is also taught by leading practitioners, including academic and industrial experts, therefore I can gain deeper knowledge about water crisis prevention.

Last, I have also chosen master course in University of Southampton due to unique consolidation of applied, scientific and participatory research in water environment combine with natural sciences, critical assessment, and management aspect. I am interested in learning how to control water resources quantity and quality by conducting accurate assessment of the potential and existing impact on aquatic environment from human activities, industrial practices, and sea level changes. Water and Wastewater Engineering 2 and Coastal Flood Defense modules will help me managing water resources safely and surely.

Thank you so much @Chiechie for your correction..
It sounds better.. I'll revise the first paragraph

Ni, remove the first 2 paragraphs of the essay because that contains information that you should be explaining in your study plans and statement of purpose. Those are unnecessary for the university discussion specially since you are developing a response within a limited amount of words. Each of the universities that you have chosen should lose the general information such as its ranking and who ranked it because that is useless information. What you have to increase, along with the description of the course syllabus, is the professional experience that you have had which will help you to become a successful student of this course. What sorts of professional problems have you encountered that can be responded to by training in these fields? Each university has a specific concentration in terms of the masters degree course, even though the title of the degree is the same. You need to work on presenting your professional background in accordance with the course description by offering examples of situations where previous knowledge in this field would have come in handy for you. You need to clearly related the course of study with the career experience that you have in order to allow the reviewer to decide which course would be most relevant for you. Without the professional experience, all of the university courses seem to just be options to you as if you were choosing a college major instead of a masters degree course. Those are 2 different levels of study and the latter, requires more professional experience to be shared in order to create a relevant line of study for you in the mind of the reviewer.