University of Technology Sydney will assist my professional development and career

Hello, this essay is 2/5 assessment criterion for Endeavour Leadership Program Australia. I would be very glad if anyone can give me some feedback or corrections. Thank you very much in advance.

Regards,
Dininta

DEVELOPMENT OF INDIVIDUALS' KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISE
Explain how the proposed activity will assist your professional development

During the third year of my undergraduate study, I had the opportunity to work as an intern in the information technology department of a local bank in my hometown. I got to work closely with senior employees within the department and learn the real responsibility of a member in a company-level IT team. This experience, among others, taught me the demand of highly skilled software developers. A software developer is required to possess the skill of programming, database, testing and how to implement those to boost business development in a company. Fortunately, I have gained the fundamental and technical expertise from my undergraduate studies. However, there is an abundant amount of IT graduates out there, hence if I want to stand out from the others, I need to further develop my expertise.

The Master of Information Technology program in University of Technology Sydney offers courses like Enabling Enterprise Information System, Enterprise Business Requirements, and Enterprise Software Testing that will provide me with a better principles and practices of enterprise-level skill of software development, testing, and business. These courses fulfilled all the qualifications required in a software developer. UTS also offers capstone projects that aim to improve students' senior management and communication skills, two essential qualifications that I need to prepare as a future leader in my field work. Regarding the development of my professional connections and experiences, as a graduate from University of Technology Sydney I am eligible to apply for professional-level membership of Australian Computer Society. The organization's comprehensive programs and researches combined with huge member of computer science experts will facilitate me in advancing my professional excellence.

Overall, I believe that University of Technology Sydney will assist my professional development and career as a leader in the information technology industry both in my home country and the international.

Dininta, Your first paragraph is irrelevant. You are wasting valuable word count by narrating your previous experience. You need to merely answer the question directly, without the fluff representation. Do not enumerate the courses being offered. Instead, focus on what you feel are your weaknesses in terms of your professional development then hand pick the subjects and activities that the course offers which will help you develop those areas. There is no need for you to enumerate all of the subjects, you need to only be specific as in: weakness = subject + training program = professionally developed skill. Do not tell the reader that you are eligible to apply for membership at the Australian Computer Society. Instead, you should state that as a member of the organization by virtue of your being a graduate of the university, you look forward to using this professional network to develop your professional contacts as applicable in your home country.