The value of education is something I have understood since a very young age. Scholarship statement.

Topic: I need to outline my financial circumstances and reasons why I feel I should be considered for a bursary. This is for entrance scholarships and bursary's though the university.

I'm not sure about the content or how to end it! I know it needs work but I'm currently lost on what to write. Writing isn't my strong point so any help would be appreciated. Thanks!

This coming fall, I will be attending Saint Mary's University to obtain a Bachelors of Commerce's degree, majoring in Accounting. The value of education is something I have understood since a very young age. Throughout my high school years, I have been a very committed student. I knew I had to be committed to my studies and my extracurricular activities in order for me to be able to continue on to post-secondary. When I was a young child my parents separated. I was raised by my grandmother and have lived with her for most of my life. Currently both of my parents are unemployed and have no source of income. When I entered my first year of high school I came to realize that funding my education is something I should be doing myself, so I started doing everything I could to help build my future. Unfortunately, my family cannot afford to put me through post-secondary. Going into university I will not be relying on parental aid. I will be relying on provincial and federal loans to get me though my next 4 years of university. Without relying fully on student loans and paying my own way throughout the next four years university wouldn't be possible in my current finical position. I hope to use my skills and work ethic to help me pay for university.

Within academics, I have always challenged myself to succeed as much as I possibly can, in efforts to become a successful student as well as an individual. This has allowed me to maintain honours with distinction throughout high school. I look to maintain this for my final year. When given the opportunity, I prove that I'm a dedicated and committed student. I know that I have the right amount of interest in Accounting and the desire to achieve what I want for the future. In my mind the four years I spend obtaining my degree will prepare me for my career and will give me what I need to reach my full potential. My main goal for the future is to become a Chartered Accountant after I finish my degree at Saint Mary's. Afterwards I hope to travel and gain experience working in an Accountant firm before potentially operating my own firm.

I feel like I should be considered for a scholarship/ bursary because I have shown that I am a deserving student, I will continue to apply the same work effort to my studies in university as I have from high school, making education my top priority. Winning any award would be an honour and a perfect way to be awarded for all my hard work....

Two things that needs to be more prominent in your answer:

1. Your parents are unemployed . But you need to explain the first part of the prompt ' financial circumstances' in detail.

2. You said you are a deserving student. You need to back that statement with proof as the college is investing in you if you get that award.

Explain all your academic and extracurricular achievements and involvements. Stress more on this aspect in your essay.

My 2 cents.

Hello,
The fist suggestion I would make would be to organize the first part. I would keep the parts about how you understand how important education is and how you challenged yourself together. Then I would transition to the money situation.

Also, I think instead of waiting until the end to start talking about why you deserve the award, I would add that within your essay. You can say things like I have always challenged myself to do better, thus making me a perfect candidate for the scholarship.

for the end I would just reword and restate your main points about why you are deserving of the award.
Once you finished that, just edit it for grammar and I think you will have a very strong essay. It seems like you are a very dedicated and eager student and it shows through in your paper. Good luck!