Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 4


'volunteer at Doctors Hospital Nursery Department' - Ron Brown Scholarship


Collegeconfused 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2012   #1
Hi, I am applying for the Ron Brown scholarship its for black students who excel academically, in the community and in school. There are two essays this is one of them that I will post. I just finished this but I don't think I really answered the questioned throughly enough. Can someone please give me some feedback? Thanks!

Choose the one activity you listed as most important in question #1 and tell us why it is significant. 500 word count.

I have been fortunate enough for the past three years to volunteer at Doctors Hospital Nursery Department. A role entrusted to me every summer and a job I take very seriously. Even though I have no plans of entering the medical field I still learn so much from my experiences as a Youth Volunteer. Unlike most people who enter this program I did not join to pass time during the summer. I joined and come back every year because I love to help others in my community.

Whenever I am working in the Baby Department I do not consider it arduous task. Instead I see it as a fun job; even though I do not get paid the hours are of a regular nine to five job. A fun job-which enables me to provide care to these new mothers and learn the rules of the workplace. The nurses in that department have taught me valuable wisdom and workforce skills. Such as how to deal with unruly patients while at the same time showing respect, performing office duties requested by the doctor, explaining to patients the legalities of the birth certificate, and how to properly hold and care for a newborn infant.

Even though I am planning on going into the law field in college, I have learned some legal skills over the years. For instance this past summer I learned legal ramifications of lying about the father on a birth certificate in the state of Georgia. The law is so backwards I'm ashamed that it is still in effect in this day and age. I take the HIPPA like most medical professionals seriously. There have been situations where I could not state whether a patient was there or not. These occurrences have helped me appreciate and understand the law just a little bit better.

I love what I do at One Baby Place, because I am helping out the new parents in my community. It is an entertaining job to do every summer that I look forward to each year. I may not do the hard work of the doctors and nurses, but the work I do brightens someone's day. At the end of the day I walk away knowing someone benefited from me helping them today.
Prettywings 1 / 74  
Jan 7, 2012   #2
I think you need to delve deeper into why this activity is so important to you. In your essay, you mention that your volunteer activity is fun and the nurses have given you some wisdom and insight, but it would have been more compelling if you would have expressed why it is important for you to volunteer in this particular setting--beyond it being "fun". Also, I think you should revise the paragraph about the birth certificate--it sounds awkward.
OP Collegeconfused 1 / 1  
Jan 7, 2012   #3
I agree I thought that sentence sounded awkward also. I thought I expressed why it is fun to me by stating that I love to help people.
collyguy 2 / 4  
Jan 7, 2012   #4
I think you could be more descriptive of the activities you did over the summer. The Baby Department job sounded really interesting, maybe you could focus on one particular thing you learned and describe it with greater detail.


Home / Scholarship / 'volunteer at Doctors Hospital Nursery Department' - Ron Brown Scholarship
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳