Hello everyone! I'm applying to Chevening Scholarship and this is my first essay. I'm having a hard time finalizing it and would appreciate some insight about... opinions, ideas, corrections.
Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.
(minimum word count: 50 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
As a child I received very much influence from my father, a former semi illiterate foreman who enjoyed reading and learning new things by himself. Some days he used to take me with him to his work, where since so young I learnt reading projects and walking among workers with confidence and respect. The Civil Engineering career was chosen through admiration by the transformation power and passion for great projects. I couldn't control the "Wow" in my eyes every time I saw a big bridge.
Once finished Building Technical studies, degree in Civil Engineering, scientific researches and internships, I was placed as resident engineer in a Brazilian infrastructure company through a trainee selection where features such as enthusiasm and energy stood out from the crowd. The position assumed required leadership, confidence, balance, team work, dynamic, emotional intelligence, motivation and inspiration for self and others. I can't say I was already gifted with all those characteristics instantly, but I may say that there was a huge will of learning and make it happen, added to persistence and determination. The played behavior made me conquer the consideration of my supervisor.
The experienced engineer supervisor initially didn't believe in the capacity of a little skinny woman act as site engineer. Being up all day, walking and giving instructions under the sun, being physically and mentally strong was usually work done by men. However, such hard working aroused his view to the warrior I am and a master/ apprentice relationship was established, enabling me to improve the skills of a leader. Knowledge, balance between firmness and flexibility, humility and desire to continue learning from everyone around you (regardless of age or hierarchy) causes respect, admiration and ability to lead.
Released from the apprenticeship, after learning how walking by my feet, I had the opportunity of working in a consortium constructor of a metro line representing my company among others. It was there where I could taste my own impact from the boss to the led. I learnt how necessary is infecting people with positivity, showing the importance of believing in themselves and in the projects they are involved. Among more than 400 contributors, manager, engineers, foremen, interns, technicians and assistants, the team was capable of exceed expectations, breaking records, through bold goals and engineering risks, returning substantial financial results to the companies and to the workers, as well as achieving the expected final product to the client.
In summary, it's necessary have enough courage to make difference somehow, mainly knowing how difficult is going outside our comfy box to fight battle which few people buy. Brazil is a country in development which needs to improve its infrastructure heavily. I dream with a Brazil going on the path of an underground system such as London. I believe in the investment on the development of subterranean world and to achieve this, daring is needed. I have a hunger of making change and changing requires courageous, boldness, passion and tenacity, features that I sure can afford.
Amanda, your narrative is really not responding to the prompt in a good manner. You are telling the reviewer all about the influences and mentoring that you received on your way to becoming a leader. You are telling the reader that you are not a leader, but you are capable of learning how to be one. While that is an admirable trait, specially for a woman working in a man's world, it does not offer any information about your existing leadership abilities and influence skills. What you need to present in order to properly respond to the prompt, are examples of your ongoing leadership and influence skills. That is what the reviewer is expecting to read about.
One way to revise this essay is to build your essay around the following portion of the existing essay:
Once finished Building Technical studies, degree in Civil Engineering, scientific researches and internships, I was placed as resident engineer in a Brazilian infrastructure company through a trainee selection where features such as enthusiasm and energy stood out from the crowd. The position assumed required leadership, confidence, balance, team work, dynamic, emotional intelligence, motivation and inspiration for self and others.
That particular part seems to indicate that you had to perform some acts of leadership and influence during your time working there. All you have to at that point, is present some scenarios or situations wherein you were called upon to lead. Maybe there was a major decision to be made and you had to take responsibility for the result of your decisions? Or you had to influence the workers to accomplish a task that they were unsure about. Whatever it was, no matter how small a leadership skill or influence that you had to exert, those are the responses that you should use for this essay.
The Chevening scholarship applicants have actual leadership experiences to relate in their essays. All of which deal with their current occupations or internships. Those are the strong essays considered for this application. Your application currently lacks that experience and ability. I am hoping that by revising the content of the essay, we can make your work more competitive in the application process.
