I need to work out some things but this is the general idea for a scholarship essay that I am writing. I want to be a makeup artist and any feed back is welcomed. Please I really want this!!!
Imagine for a moment the following scenes; a little girl enthused by the prospect of putting on her mother's make up for the first time; a woman transformed from plain Jane to whoever she dreams of being within a few brush strokes. There are those who scoff at the idea of being a makeup artist, they are under the impression that make up is nothing more than a woman's base and powder, those people are sadly mistaken. Make up is a medium of art that traverses the spectrum of routine and fashion, it reaches the everyday woman, as well as, creating concepts of beauty that go beyond the regular "base and powder." It is the duality and wonder of makeup that inspires me and allows me to dream in color and beauty.
I will say that I was never granted the gift to splash murals of art in cities or create large scales installations but I was given an imagination that dreamed in colors and exquisiteness. I have vague memories of my mother putting on makeup and changing into someone else. What fascinated me was the ritual of makeup, as well as the possibilities it created. We can't always live inside the proverbial box of life; sometimes we must stretch our minds to fulfill our passions. Few people look at faces and think to themselves there is a blank canvass for me to create wonderment. However, I see a fresh face and begin to weave in my mind the best colors to bring out happiness or which lines of liner would create the most dramatic effect. My hands don't have the ability to mold grandiose works of art, but they have the ability to change a face from skin to art, I'm not limited to the end of paper.
It would be ridiculous to only live in art, to say that I solely want to be a makeup artist because it has artistic fulfillment. I am fascinated by the universality of makeup; everyone does it to some degree. From soccer moms in America to tribes in Africa that put on face paint, there is a ritualistic nature to make up that connects us all. I would love nothing more than to be a part of that world, that long standing tradition. The saying goes true beauty lies within and to some degree that is true, but sometimes we want the outside the match how beautiful we feel on the inside and I want to be the person that allows for that. I want someone to come to me with little expectations and leave with a different perspective. Perhaps, makeup to some is just "base and powder" but those people have a limited in their imagination, to others it is the gateway to a world yet to be discovered.
wow i would love for you to be my makeup artist! I think the essay is great, but you may need a stronger opening sentance. Ithink that " Imagine these scences..." part is a little out of place. Your opening sentance needs to be the strongest part, because often the reader's opion on the article is decided in the first sentance. Maybe have it be how you feel when doing makeup? i really hope this helped and good luck with your makeup artist career!
It would be great to use a colon here:
Imagine for a moment the following scenes: a little girl...
It is the duality and wonder of makeup that inspires and enables me to dream in color and beauty.---see the change I suggested here?
I will say that less is more.
I was never granted the gift to splash murals
of art in cities or create large scales installations, but I was...
... but they have the ability to change a face from skin to art. I'm not limited to the end of paper.
It would be ridiculous to only live in art, to say that I solely want to be a makeup artist because it has artistic fulfillment. --This is such an interesting stream of thought! I think your writing will be well-received.