Working in a team brings understanding to the "leadership" meaning

Please review my essay

Chevening - leadership and influencing skills

Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

Working in a team makes me get a lot of experience about the meaning of a leadership from assertiveness in making decisions, communication skills, technical skills, emotional stability and other leadership qualities. I believe it is very influential in the progress of the factory from the first operation in 2013 until now I work.

I worked as a Human Machine Interface (HMI) operator at the Iron Making Department of the largest steel factory in Southeast Asia, namely PT. X. I am responsible for product quality control, production quantity, waste management and the safety of other employees working in the field. The training that I have done with Y Korea's HMI experts for 1 year made me learn the meaning of responsibility in the work that I will do. I got the best employee in the best training in 2013 with the highest score and great attitude.

I have to make decisions quickly and accurately if there is a problem in the factory so that the target can be achieved and minimize the loss of the company. As in one case where the wrong delivery of coal material with low quality makes quality and quantity of production go down. At that time, I made changes to the use of iron ore material that is changing some materials with high FeO content so that when combustion there is addition of oxygen from other materials, and succeeded in increasing the quality and quantity of production, with the completion I did can save the purchase of the best quality coal the one that will be purchased reaches 12 million USD and reduces the company's losses due to the quality of the previous production. From the resolution of this problem, I got the title of the best employee in 2015 as a show of great contribution in stable operation and has identified a problem as well as suggest the feasible solution.

Even though I have been the best employee several times but I still have to continue to learn to improve the quality of myself to give the best to the company or organization I work for. For Instance, I made improvements in the distribution of iron ore material, where I made the flow of material that previously had less permeability so that 5-7 tons of material wasted into dust dropped to 3-4 tons so that the company's profits increased and became more environmentally friendly. From this Improvement, I became the 2nd winner of the improvement competition held by the company in 2016.

For the time being, I am conducting research on the use of material dust to become one of the iron ore materials, so that it can reduce the purchase of material raw materials and reduce air pollution, I hope the end of 2019 is the target of research completion and in 2020 can be utilized. I will continue to learn so that it can be useful for others and make my quality better esepecially in climate change issue.

@Atto_25 You certainly have strong leadership skills indicated in this essay. However, these all pertain to you working alone and making decisions without having to consult others. That is also the reason why this leadership essay is weak in presentation. Yes, strengths can also prove to be weaknesses as evidenced by your presentation. Consistently being voted Employee of the Month means nothing if you do not have the ability to prove that you are capable of managing people and influencing the outcome of certain office situations.

This essay is very one sided in presentation. You are the sole focus of the essay when the discussion should be centered in team work based leadership and influencing abilities. You as the leader need to know how to inspire your team. I don't get a sense of that in this presentation mainly because of the lack of people management in the discussion.

A totally new essay will be required in this instance, one that showcases your ability to lead and inspire, resulting in the award that you received. Otherwise, you are not proving to be a future leader and influencer in your country. You are only proving to be a good worker. Sample essays regarding the actual leadership and influencing requirements are available at this forum for your reference, I suggest that you do exactly that. Refer to the samples when you write your new essay.

thank you very much for your review to my essay. I will repair my essay soon.

@Holt has provided you with some great insights into what you could improve in your essay. I'd like to add a small point: you've used a lot of "I's" in your essay, making it very monotonous. Maybe you could try framing your sentences differently to break the monotony of the "I have/had/done".