Dear Financial Aid Officer,
It is with regret that I am writing to you and asking for an appeal to my DUS Urban Scholars Scholarship; I do apologize for any inconveniences this causes you. I am writing this appeal in the hopes that you'll reconsider your decision not to renew the DUS Scholarship in the Fall 2016 semester. In the Winter 2016 semester, I received a 3.21 overall GPA, not satisfying the minimum requirement of a 3.3 GPA. Regardless of your response to this letter, I do tremendously thank those who provided me with this scholarship and for your time in reading this letter.
I hope that the following information will help you in understanding my situation and reconsider your decision. I believe this decision was due, for the most part, by taking too many classes and being overwhelmed by the work load of taking 18 credits. One of the classes I took that semester went at a pace of 4 chapters a week, and it was very difficult for me to stay caught up along with balancing work for my other classes. During that semester, my father also lost his car and was unable to afford another. Due to this, my transportation to school relied very heavily on carpooling with friends and I was occasionally unable to make it to classes, or had to leave school early or else be deprived of transportation home.
When informed of your decision, I came to the realization that my performance in the Fall 2016 semester needed to be improved. I have taken several steps to help alleviate the workload and to elevate my GPA: I am attempting to live on campus at Wayne State so that it is easier and convenient for me to go to my classes and have access to resources if I'm struggling in a class, I have cut my credits down to 14 for a workload not as demanding as that of the Winter 2016 semester, I plan on continuing my usage of the library resources on campus, and I am also going to attempt to make better arrangements with my teachers if I feel my grades are not where they should be. I do understand that my circumstances are not an excuse to have let my grades fall, but I would really appreciate your consideration in appealing my scholarship as the funding would truly assist in financing my schooling. I also understand that receiving the scholarship was a privilege and receiving this scholarship each semester was contingent on me meeting all the requirements, which I was unsuccessful in achieving. If am I to be granted this scholarship again, I intend on maintaining all of the requirements. I plan on raising my GPA so that the minimum requirement is more than met, and strive to not fall below the requirement again. I understand how important this scholarship is and that is not something to be taken lightly. I earnestly hope that those involved will reconsider their decision and renew my scholarship in the fall. I sincerely thank those involved for taking the time to read this letter and allowing me the opportunity to attempt to explain my situation and the reasons for not meeting the requirement.
Sincerely,
Cartearra Jackson
Hi Jackson, it is surely a pity if your scholarship is going to be cancelled. I am sorry to hear that. Thus, I would like to do my best in giving my feedback towards your letter with hope that your scholarship will be continued until your study period is over. However, the descriptions below are my contribution that focuses on strengthening your weakness in this letter.
- You need to know that the four seasons (spring, summer, autumn (British) / fall (American), winter) are NOT written in capital letters like what you've done in your letter.
- If this letter will be addressed to an official financial aid officer, you have to make sure that it is the most formal letter that you've written. You have to avoid using contraction(s) like "you'll, I'm". This will make your essay becomes less formal.
- If I'm not mistaken, your letter was in 3 paragraphs. I think next time you need to give at least 1 space (1 enter) for each paragraph in order to ease us the reader to check and read your essay carefully. If it is true 3 paragraphs, I believe your last paragraph seems to be too bulky. There are some information that can be separated. Perhaps, you can separate your gratefulness expression from the third paragraph and make a new paragraph from it.
Overall, I think that you don't have any serious issue about your grammatical range and accuracy. Your letter was understandable. The flow of ideas was also okay. It is a well-written letter indeed. Good luck for sending this letter. :)
Hi Jackson,being a scholarship holder is really a challenging path to take and even harder to keep.
Honestly, I tried to be one of your league but I failed to do so as it is quiet hard to get through and to maintain such excellent grades.
With this letter, I hope we will be able to help you get that scholarship back and become the best in your league,please find additional help below.
- inconveniences this has caused you.
- I am writing this appeal inwith the hopes
- that you'll reconsider your decision not toin renewing the
- I do tremendously thank those who providedyou for providing me
- I believe this decision was due for the most part, by takingto my actions on taking too many
- classes and being overwhelmed by the work load of taking 18 credits .
- and it was veryquiet difficult for me to stay caught up along with
- balancing work forand my other classes.
There you have it Jackson, as I read through the essay, to be honest, the reasons you point out are very essential in making it or keeping your grades in the scholarship level, believe it or not, this factors greatly affect not only scholars like you but also to normal students, but as they say, the show must go on and we just keep on moving.
