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Write a concise statement of your proposed program of study abroad


koolbklyn 1 / -  
Mar 25, 2011   #1
I need help editing this as fast as possible because the due date is less than a week away. thank you

Instructions:

Write a concise statement of your proposed program of study abroad and how it will be related to your present academic program. Also describe the personal benefits you expect to receive from the program.

Study Statements should be typed in the space below and no longer than 250 to 500 words. Once complete, please upload your Study Statement to be included with your online application.

Going to St. Petersburg has always been one of my dreams. I have always heard my family members talk about how great of a city and how beautiful it is but I have never had the chance to see it for myself. But now I have the opportunity to not only be able to see such a great city but also to further my education at the same time. Being an engineering major I see that there are nearly no summer study abroad programs that will be helpful to my major but me going to St. Petersburg doesn't really have anything with my major. Engineering in general is a complicated field, it requires you to do research, make presentations, and discuss complicated projects with your piers but sometimes your piers might now know English; what then? English isn't my 1st language, Russian is, and although Russian is my 1st it is also my worst. My Russian can be compared to that of a 6 year old because well, that is when I moved to the United States and stopped learning Russian. I am highly excited to be part of this abroad experience because I come from a Russian background and this experience will allow me to develop my Russian reading and writing skills. Knowing a different language is becoming a must if you wish to further advance your career in whatever field and I wish to learn the language if my ancestors. I see this study abroad program as an opportunity to finally give myself a better understanding of my native language as well as have the opportunity to experience a different culture.
msbuggs 1 / 2  
Mar 27, 2011   #2
My family members always talk about how beautiful and great the city is, but I have never had the chance to see it for myself.

instead of

I have always heard my family members talk about how great of a city and how beautiful it is but I have never had the chance to see it for myself
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 27, 2011   #3
Oh, I like that correction from Shanice. That is even better than what I was going to suggest.
My family members always talk about how beautiful and great the city is, but I have never had the chance to see it for myself.

Very cool edit there...

But now I have the opportunity to not only be able to see such a great city but also to further my education at the same time. Too obvious. Do not waste words saying the obvious. Get right into explaining your envisioned future.

English isn't my 1st language, and although Russian is my first language it is also my worst.

My Russian can be compared to that of a 6 year-old because, well, that is when I moved to the United States and ---Ha ha, I like your personality. However, I think the essay should have one clear theme, one clear purpose. What do you want to make the reader think about you? I think you want the reader to say, "This is a student who is very serious and constantly reading about engineering, planning the education, and being very diligent."

So... try to replace the less-important sentences with sentences that enthusiastically share your vision. :-)


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