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At a young age, I had a keen interest in leadership - SCHOLARSHIP PERSONAL STATEMENT


Aloque 1 / -  
Nov 15, 2014   #1
PERSONAL STATEMENT DUE IN A FEW HOURS! HELP!!
Please check for any grammatical errors or if the essay answers the questions .

Your personal statement: Explain why you are applying to the Chevening programme and describe the personal, intellectual and interpersonal qualities that make you well placed to be a future leader in your home country.(300)

At a young age, I had a keen interest in leadership. As the Chevening's primary focus is on building the requisite leaders essential in Management for the modern day private or public sector cadre of officers. Whilst growing up, I always felt that a girls place was not solely as a caregiver at home but given educational opportunity call always be a potential leader with the maternal qualities to care for and promote the well-being of others. In our culture, it was predominantly belief that a woman's place is in the home and not in the work place- this has been one of the driving forces for me to realize that women too can lead. Hence, after completing my primary school education, my aunts lobbied for me to leave my maternal home and attend high school in the Cayo District. This was the platform for me to propel my career in achieving a master's degree. After four years of high school, I graduated with honors which was one of the most remarkable achievements for my parents. Whilst enrolled at the University of Belize to pursue an associate degree in Mathematics, I realized that while math education is vital in our educational system it was not enough for me and the type of services I wanted to render to my country. Hence, in 2008, I enrolled in the Public Sector Management Program at the University of Belize where I was awarded first place for reaching the highest gpa in 2011 from the Faculty of Management and Social Science it was during my time undertaking my first degree at the University that I also was elected as chairperson of my community. I always have a passion for making life better for anyone once it was in my power to achieve and if it was beyond my reach , I ensured that someone was in a position to help. Satisfaction does not come from thank you or public recognition, satisfaction for me, is knowing that with kind assistance of others, I was able to make a positive difference in someone life.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 17, 2014   #2
As the Chevening's primary focus is on building the requisite leaders essential in Management for the modern day private or public sector cadre of officers.

This sentence above is incomplete. Check carefully, and change it so that it is a complete, proper sentence.

I think too many students begin their essays by saying, 'At a young age, I was interested..." So, it is a cliche, and overused. You can say it in a more meaningful, original way.

that a girls place was not solely as a caregiver at home ------ I agree!! The world would be much better if more female decision-makers were in control. Check this sentence and add an apostrophe: girl's

You should not write it as all one long paragraph. Divide it into several paragraphs, each maybe about 5 sentences long, and let the first paragraph end with a sentence that tells the most important idea of the essay, the one you want the reader to remember.

: )


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