Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 3


As a young mother with a newborn ; Scholarship essay


ravenleighann 1 / 9  
Jan 10, 2014   #1
PROMPT: Submit an essay of 750 words or fewer, addressing the following questions: How will receiving the C_____ C_______ impact your ability to go to college? How will earning a college degree impact your future? How do you think you will contribute to the University?

MY DRAFT: As a young mother with a newborn I've had to sacrifice many things from my social life and old habits that wouldn't provide a safe environment for my child to my teenage life in general. One thing I'm happy to not sacrifice is my education and my motivation to go to college and better my life. I come from a family where my father had not completed high school and my mother has received her associates and am back in school to receive another degree. As an individual I've always allowed my parents lack of an education motive me to become something better from getting an education. Receiving the c_____ c________ will provide financial support to go to school; it will allow me to follow my dream of entering the medical field, and accomplishing my biggest goal of becoming a pediatrician.

Earning a college degree will impact my life only in a positive way. As of now having my CNA I feel I have options but they are narrow. A college degree will broaden this narrow opening. It will provide better job opportunities which will provide for better stability as a single mother. Earning a college degree will make me that much closer to my career. This will not only impact my future but my daughter's future. I live by the motto that the sky is the limit. Earning my college degree will show I've reached part of that limit with many more to go. The degree will show my daughter that I didn't give up on my education. Instead I used my situation as motivation for the better ahead.

As a young African American mother, I feel I will be able to contribute many attributes to the University ranging from my perspective as a mother to my perspective as a student. Once becoming a mother, my mindset changed from all about me to all about her. I strive to do better in any situation I encounter for a better standing future for my daughter. I feel I will be able to bring encouragement and support to those young mothers as well as receive support. We will have a shared bond to relate and empathize with. The University has an organization called Women4Women that has a mission is to improve the health and economic well-being of women and girls by increasing awareness, expanding resources and creating solutions to strengthen our University community. I feel from my background and experiences I will not only be able to contribute to this mission I will also be able to promote growth mentally and emotionally for myself and other women
Senildang 2 / 5 1  
Jan 11, 2014   #2
to go to college and better my life

Check your grammar here. 'better' is not a verb. You can change like this 'to go to college and make my life better'

Earning a college degree

provide

Avoid repeating. You should write long sentence instead of simple one.

I've reached part of that limit with many more to go

This sentence is not clear

I think you should use a wide range of vcabulary to make your essay more interesting.


Home / Scholarship / As a young mother with a newborn ; Scholarship essay
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳