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My almost whole future in a nutshell :)

Dang Khoa 11 / 42  
Jul 28, 2019   #1
I will be so grateful if somebody gives me advice or anything that helps me :).

this pc needs an upgrade

My essay:
Just open my eyes, and the first thing I see was a computer showing my heartbeat :). That's right I was born :D. And seeing the thing that keeps going up and down makes me wonder what is that. And I also think that's why I have a huge passion for the computer (i think...). Then I grew up, and maybe just like other kids, I love playing games :D. But the love that's growing so much, makes me wonder it's an addiction or passion... Any other kinds of entertainment like TV, films, manga, blah blah seems only fun to me, but games, give me a feeling that I can't explain. Every tough round I win always gives me satisfaction that none of the entertainments can bring. However, the thought of playing games can make money seems stupid to me, due to education that I must find a job. When I was 12, I discovered Pewdiepie, a guy who is popular because of playing games on Youtube. That's where my last thought becomes stronger, then I showed it to my mom, and she said: "stf*! u know nothing about this, this is too hard for u, be like everyone else, son! Find a job then u can do whatever u can." Then she told that to my dad, my dad got angry and forbid me of playing games for 1 week and he thinks that because of playing too many games give me a stupid thought like that... And days keep going on, nothing happened, just go to school, play, eat, sleep, do workouts blah blah blah until the age of 15, if course it's not puberty because that would be too late :))). I stopped playing games a little bit, and thinking every single night that" If I keep playing games like this, I don't think I can achieve my dream, even if I actually good at gaming stuff, but omg in the world, there are so many pros that I think they are on another level so above me, maybe I shouldn't be a gamer to make a living, I SHOULD BE A YOUTUBER :V?HMMMMMMMM? And boom, I try to find out what are the conditions to become a real YouTuber in the next day. And this is where the disaster comes out. To become a Youtuber, my terrible computer must become a beast first. In other words, I must have about above 50 million VND ( about 2.150 dollars ). And I was like, where the heck can I find this money? My parents don't let me go out to work :V. Because I must study IELTS in order to settle in Australia :). So because I only can stay at home, I have to try to make money with this poor condition computer... I downloaded Davinci (edit software) and start to edit. The first video that I uploaded on Facebook was quite impressive(the vid only has 25 seconds), I got above 100 views, but there only about 10 reactions though... mostly my friends, they say this is funny and tell me to make more. However, I can't do any professional vids, because of my computer, so the timeline in the app was very laggy and slow, discouraging me from editting stuff :(.

And I try persuade my dad to upgrade it. It was tough, many things happen, and I have to make a promise that I do not play too long after upgrading the computer. He bought a new CPU, nothing changed much, still the old FPS. But I can not say that the computer is still bad, I have to continue to do edit stuff with it now...Then after thinking that this computer can not be upgraded. I try to do other things instead to become a Youtuber, it's called preparations :). I must find fame, save more montages, hightlights, funny moments, learn more edit theories in order to ready for the beastly computer. And the money to upgrade, I think I persuade my parents later or persuade them permit me to go to work. And that's it :), that is my life for now, now i am 17, writting this essay for u guys to see hehe xD
Veranda 5 / 13 4  
Jul 28, 2019   #2
@Dang Khoa
I have some suggestions for you:
- Just open Opening
- I think you should change some verbs to past tense like the first thing I saw, made me wonder what was that....
Although it's just a speech, you should check the grammar errors as well.

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