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"World Rights" ; Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech

Hello all,

Kinda hoping someone could look over a paper I have due here shortly. It was kind of a weird paper for me to write as it is pretty much a complete fabrication. The assignment was to write a Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech. So I had to come up with a reason why I had won the award.

The requirements were pretty simple. It has to be 2-3 pages in an essay MLA format. So let me know what can be fixed or corrected if anyone has time. Be forewarned, I am no where near what I consider to be a good writer. Thanx so much in advance

Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech

Your Majesty, Mr. President, Members of the committee, Ladies and Gentlemen:

In this exact same place Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "I believe that what self centered man has torn down other centered men can build up." This statement rang true close to 50 years ago as it still rings true to this very day. The problems we face today are all a result of man's ignorance and greed. Self centered man's greed and ignorance has brought about inequality and suffering for certain areas of the world. It is the centered men and women who stand up for others' rights who deserve to be recognized. It is for these people that I accept this award.

I want to thank you all for inviting me here to receive this honor. It is with great pride that I am here representing The "World Rights" Organization to accept this award for the hard work of so many unselfish men and women. We at the "World Rights" Organization thank all of you with our whole hearts. Words can not begin to convey the gratitude my colleagues' and I have for this most prestigious award.

The idea of "World Rights" and "World Declaration of Rights" were developed because of the vast inequality of Human Rights our planet is plagued with. Where someone is born or currently lives should not dictate a person's rights. Every human is entitled to the same rights. A woman born in Saudi Arabia should have the same rights as a woman or man born in the United States. A man or woman born in Africa should have the rights as a man or woman born in China.

There is no denying the "World Declaration of Rights" is modeled after what some say is the English Language's most well known and significant sentence from the United States Declaration of Independence; "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness." This is the foundation of the program that we must uphold and pressure others to provide for their citizens.

Elvis Presley said, "Ambition is a dream with a V8 engine." At a young age I remember my parents often describing me to family or friends as being very ambitious. At the time I really did not have a clue what the word meant. As I became older and entered into my teen years, I still really had no clue what the word meant. I did however begin to realize that once I had set my mind on something, it was almost as if nothing else mattered until I achieved my goal. I am sure this is what my mother and father were referring to when they were describing me as being ambitious. My ambition is for the whole world to be a part of the "World Declaration of Rights".

We want to personally thank and give our gratitude to the first involved nations to adopt the "World Declaration of Rights". If it were not for these unselfish nations, we would be a long way from where we are today. It is a trend that we must keep going. We must keep pressuring some of the major nations that are not a part of the "World Declaration" movement yet. This generous award given to the "World Rights" Organization will go a long way in ensuring that we continue pressuring these nations to do what is right for their citizens. We will continue to do all that can be done to pursue the equality of all humans on the face of this planet. I promise that we will keep moving forward. It may seem at times that the outlook looks bleak, but we must dig deeper and use that as a motivational tool to work harder.

I want to again give my complete gratitude for this distinguished endowment. Thank you all.

Apr 28, 2009   #2
MLA formatting requires you to use in-text citations. You have to let the reader know where you found your resources.

The citation for your first quote would look like this in the text:

"I believe that what self centered man has torn down other centered men can build up" (King).

And then it would have a corresponding citation in your works cited page that looked like this:

King, Martin Luther, Jr. "Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech." 10 December 1964.

nobelprizes.com. 28 April 2009. <nobelprizes.com/nobel/peace/MLK-nobel.html>

(The nobelprizes.com would be underlined, but I don't have that ability here)

You wouldn't need to cite the Declaration of Independence because you have already introduced it in your sentence and it is common enough that the MLA says you don't have to cite it anymore.

When talking about your organization, omit the quotation marks. They are not needed for the name of an organization and they could be read wrong. "World Rights" Organization is like saying that the organization really doesn't stand for world rights-in this instance it is akin to making air quotes around the words and winking at the reader.

It is very well-written. I can picture you in a tux in Oslo giving your speech.

There are a few other minor errors (you don't need that apostrophe on the end of the word colleagues, for example), but I will leave those for another person or another day.
EF_KevinThreads: 8
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[Contributor] 129  
Apr 29, 2009   #3
Hi! Great speech!

There is no denying the fact that the "World Declaration of Rights" is ...
Or maybe, "Without question, the World...I don't know, it seems like something is missing, I could be wrong.

A colon is what to use to tell them that you are about to answer a question you raised:
Declaration of Independence: "We hold...

Now, you started a paragraph with a quote by Elvis. I think you should write the topic sentences and keep quotations within the body of the paragraph. All I'm saying is that I think you should add a sentence to the beginning of that paragraph to tell the main theme. Then, let the Elvis quotation be sentence number two.

Then again, if this is going to be a speech instead of a paper to hand in, I guess that does not matter!

At the end, I don't think "distinguished endowment" sounds right, but it could just be my preference. I think it sounds contrived... like, something you planned and rehearsed. A speech should seem natural.

Good luck! Do you really have to give the speech in front of an audience, or is it a writing assignment about a speech?
Apr 29, 2009   #4
Its completely just a writing assigment that we have to turn in. We don't actually have to give the speech. I appreciate the imput guys.

By the way I did include my citations, I just didn't include it on the pasted part I put in here.
Apr 30, 2009   #5
You might want to talk a bit about what you are supposed to have accomplished. Yes, you are accepting on behalf of an organization that stands up for world rights, but to have won the prize, the organization must have achieved some specific goals that have advanced the cause of world rights. So, since that is what you are being honored for, you should probably touch on that in the speech, along with an acknowledgment that you still have a long way to go, etc. Try reading previous acceptance speeches by actual winners to get a sense of how these things usually go.

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