Prompt: Interest in math, science, or engineering manifests itself in many forms. Caltech professor and Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman (1918-1988) explained, 'I'd make a motor, I'd make a gadget that would go off when something passed a photocell, I'd play around with selenium'; he was exploring his interest in science, as he put it, by 'piddling around all the time.' In a page, more or less, tell the Admissions Committee how you express your interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering.
When I awake in the morning, it's not just the blaring alarm clock that captures my attention. It's the tick tick of the fan, the loud rumbles of the washing machine, and the cars blaring outside my window that intrigue me, inviting me to find out how they work. I've been curious about technological innovations such as these ever since I was a young child. Questions would enter my head about various aspects of the world around me, including the ever so popular "Why is the sky blue?" and "How does the car run?" Although I was curious about a variety of things, I always gravitated towards topics or ideas that were oriented towards science and technology. I like learning about atoms, which despite weighing close to nothing, make up everything we see, breathe, and hear. I enjoy taking simple physics concepts, like force and acceleration, and applying them to everyday life, especially when I'm driving a car.
My parents realized my interest in these two subjects early on and gifted me with a book called The Way Things Work, when I was just five. In this book, I learned about the internal workings of everyday machines, including planes and cars. But I wasn't satisfied by just reading and learning; what set me apart from most children was that I quelled my curiosity by hands-on activities. I would create games and devices out of household objects to entertain myself. At age 6, I performed the volcano experiment at my school weekly because I was fascinated as to how mixing common chemicals could produce a huge reaction. I would beg my parents to buy science kits from the Scholastic Magazines: I remember one of my exploits was growing a human sized brain over 3 weeks.
High school was when I started to realize that engineering could be my future. I challenged myself by taking higher level classes in Math, Physics, and Chemistry. I was especially attentive in my AP Chemistry and Calculus BC classes-both of my teachers didn't only teach us the formulas, but they showed us how the concepts could be applied in real world situations and I was hooked. I participated in clubs at school for more exposure, but I felt limited to what it had to offer. Last summer, I interned at USC's Hydrocarbon Institute, whose focus is to find alternative hydrocarbon sources for energy problems. When I put on my lab coat and glasses on that first day, I felt comfortable. I spent the following weeks happily holed up in a lab, mixing much more explosive and toxic chemicals, like Hydrogen Sulfide and Hydrogen Cyanide, than the ones I played with when I was six. I learned how to use a rotary evaporator, work inside a glove box, and complete reactions by myself from start to finish. The laboratory work I did there was far different from that in high school in terms of level of experiments and safety precautions. But the intensity and challenges in the college laboratory suited me. I realized that this could be my future, in college and beyond, and I was excited.
Any help would be great!
When I awakewake up in the morning, it's not just the blaring alarm clock that captures my attention.
in high school in terms of level of experiments and safety precautions and level of experiments.
Personally I think that the content is very summarized, I would advise you be more specific about either all the topics or atleast one of them ( I suppose caltech does not have any word limit!) Thought I like the content, I think you can be more specific when you mention that you want to be an engineer- I mean a chemical or aeronautical or may be rocket fuel/propellant engineer!
Thank you for the help!
Cal Tech actually has a word limit though, it's a page. I'm nearing the limit with this addition. I added this paragraph to the end of the essay to mention more why I want to be an engineer. I'm still trying to figure out a good last sentence...?
Engineering is a perfect outlet for the imagination. I am creative, inventive, and methodical, but I don't want to limit myself by writing down my ideas on paper. I want to show the world my ideas and share my curiosity in how things work. I've applied for engineering because I know that I will be challenged with the opportunities that it provides me. I have not yet decided which branch of engineering captures my imagination the most, and therefore I want to be exposed to all engineering sciences before choosing.
help, anyone...?
this is the end paragraph..
Engineering is the perfect outlet for my imagination. I am creative, inventive, and methodical, but I don't want to limit myself by writing down my ideas on paper. I want to show the world my ideas and share my curiosity in how things work. I've applied for engineering because I know that I will be challenged and excited by the opportunities that it provides me. I have not yet decided which branch of engineering I will pursue; therefore I want to be exposed to all engineering sciences before choosing. As an engineering student at Cal Tech, I can take my abstract ideas and turn them into a concrete reality.
Number agreement:
can take my abstract ideas and turn them into concrete realities.
Your intro is excellent writing; I hope the AO reader knows how to appreciate good writing.
Cut your first paragraph off after "since I was a young child", remove this altogether---> Questions would enter my head about various aspects of the world around me, including the ever so popular "Why is the sky blue?" and "How does the car run?" , and replace it with a good thesis sentence that answers their question: how do you express it? Instead of saying "piddling around," you say ________. Answer their question, and end the first paragraph.
The latter half of your essay, though good writing, is not quite right. It should build up and culminate with a brilliant way of explaining your method of expressing your interest, curiosity, or excitement about math, science or engineering.
The other guy says piddling around, and you say (what?). Good luck!!!!
