How Is Life Structured - Cornell

makman09 9 / 86

Dec 22, 2011 #1

Cornell - College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study.

My fascination of biology is sustained by one concept, how is life structured? In daily life, everyone bends their muscles, get colds, ages, and etc., but how? Biology and its many fields are the answers to the question, but the important question to ask is why do I want to know how? I want to know how life is structured because once the structure is known, it can be manipulated to yield new intentions. To clarify, HIV virus can resist drugs and medication by mutating which is why many medications work temporairly before the mutation occurs, but if one can understand the mutation patterns of the HIV virus, then progress is made. With patterns, medication against the HIV can be more effective and longer termed as the next mutation can be predicted and countered against by drug control. Just by understanding the structure of life, it can be manipulated to yield desired intentions.

Every fascination has a foundation which is where it began and mine was 2nd period Biology AP of Sophomore year. When I first entered the class, I entered with fear from rumors of the heavy work load that college level biology will burden me with, but when I listened to my teacher's lecture, my fascination for biology flourished. He talked about how medications can be enhanced by simply manipulating their structure by crystallization. When a medication is crystallized, it will take longer for it to dissolve in the body which allows the patient to take the medication at a lower dosage rate. From this class, my main intention for biology developed which is to create new applications out of the structure of life.

Cornell's academic program will further my fascination in biology because I'm interested in a Professor Tumbar's work with stem cells in hair follices. From her studies on how buldge cells interact with stem cell activation within the hair follice, she is making a great impact on the field of dermatology and possibly other fields. By understanding the interaction and controlling it, she can regenerate skin to create a younger look in older people. Maybe I'm getting to far, but Cornell has concepts being researched that I'm interested in.

ZhoeK 5 / 173

Dec 22, 2011 #2

Mustafa

Overall it was a pretty good essay. I like how you started off with your fascination in the first paragraph and then expounded in the second paragraph how it developed. Not sure if the third paragraph contributes anything to answering the prompt, I see that you tied in Cornell with what you like about biology, but I'm not sure it fits. But then again I suppose it can work. Maybe you should rework the last paragraph something's just off about it to me, it could just be me though, or expound on how you intend to utilize the facilities.

because once the structure is known,

Suggestion: because once I know the structure,

To clarify,

Suggestion: For example, the

work temporairly before the next mutation occurs,.~~but if one can understand the mutation patterns of the HIV virus, then progress is made.~~ If one can understand the mutation patterns of the HIV virus, then progress can be made.

With patterns, medication against the HIV can be more effective and longer termed as the next mutation can be predicted and countered against by drug control.

Suggestion: These patterns can be incorporated into medication design, making the medicine more effective and longer lasting as the next mutation can be predicted and countered with drugs.

Every fascination has a foundation,~~which is where it began~~ and mine ~~was 2nd~~began in second period Biology AP of Sophomore year.

~~When I first entered the class,~~ I entered the class with fear from rumors of the heavy work load that college level biology will burden me with, but when I listened to my teacher's lecture, my fascination for biology flourished.

When ~~a medication~~medicine is crystallized

it will take ~~longer for it~~a longer time to dissolve in the body which allows the patient to take the medication at a lower dosage rate. From this class, my main intention for biology ~~developed~~thrived (suggestion) , ~~which is~~ to create new applications out of the structure of life.

Hope this helps!
& if you would not mind, maybe you could take a look at any of my essays. Thanks!

Armaan M 2 / 16

Dec 22, 2011 #3

It is really good but I feel like the last paragraph was just tacked on to answer the prompt. I am writing the same essay and I think I may have done that too!

Check mine out if you have a sec

Yaxue1994 2 / 5

Dec 22, 2011 #4

It is a pretty strong essay. You showed your passion in Biology very clearly throughout and explained how the interest changed. However, I think you should explore more on how you will utilise the academic programs in Cornell to pursue your interests. You've stated that you're fascinated by the Professor's research, but I think you should mention more specific programs that interests you. Hope this helps!

ChihiroLavi 4 / 52

Dec 22, 2011 #5

I agree with Yaxue1994 that you maybe should write more about how you will benefit from Cornell rather than your interest in biology. You've use too many words on context not related to the prompt.

Just my suggestions.