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|Transfer to NYU Gallatin-Why NYU?/Academic interests/What intrigues
2 - you mostly talk about the location and its environment.... I wish if you talked a little more about the...
Undergraduateabrownie - May 1, 2013 / dumi - May 19, 2013
|"I am going to join the Peace Corps"- Reasons/Past Experience/PC Expectations
2 - As I began filling the application, I realized the seriousness of the commitment. I felt I wasn't ready...
Undergraduatejenjenc22 - May 17, 2013 / dumi - May 18, 2013
|Beedie School of Business Appeal; Attempt 2
Undergraduatefrench rabbit - May 17, 2013 / Pahan - May 17, 2013
|I wish to further my education - Why Transfer? UAlbany
2 - .... I wish you need to improve your flow a little bit; Hudson Valley Community College provided me...
Undergraduatedpugs9 - May 14, 2013 / dumi - May 17, 2013
|Study Plan for Study Permit; Application to Embassy of Canada
6 - Okkkkkk...Let's tackle the very first one; Tell them about how you became interested in this field (Biotechnology)...
Undergraduatekatezzz - May 14, 2013 / dumi - May 16, 2013
|Why I'm a good candidate? - Michigan Research Community Application Essay
Undergraduatedealaus - May 7, 2013 / dumi - May 15, 2013
|Budding into the conversation at the dinner table changed my life; PERSONAL NARRATIVE
3 - There are some questionable word choices in your essay. here "ensued" reads awkward. you could just simply...
Undergraduatekbubrosky - May 8, 2013 / davidmax - May 14, 2013
|Course details; Programme of mathematics
Undergraduateandrea94 - Apr 27, 2013 / neoner - May 14, 2013
|College Green; Brown U - TRANSFER - Neuroscience
Undergraduateabrownie - Feb 24, 2013 / BachChaconne2 - May 12, 2013
|I am a fast learner; Peace Corps Essay 1
5 - This is good... I wish you try to elaborate the real situation (talk through your experience) rather than...
Undergraduateangie5 - May 3, 2013 / dumi - May 11, 2013
|I wish to return to Uzbekistan and work for General Motors; APU Application
4 - What is APU and what is UWED high school?! I'm from Uzbekistan too... What did you do to study...
Undergraduatestudious - May 6, 2013 / As is - May 7, 2013
|Right place to get high quality education; Reasons for attending APU
3 - Clear! This is awesome feedback. But, you know? I am not so perfect student to be capable of writing...
Undergraduatestudious - May 5, 2013 / studious - May 6, 2013
|I was always an extremely determined kid; Columbia Wait List Essay
Undergraduatecncpcion - Apr 27, 2013 / dumi - May 6, 2013
|English Teacher/ Interest in Business; Common App-business school (GGSB)
5 - thank you for correcting i just upload without any correcting sorry. i have question about my essay is there...
Undergraduateinjunejo - Apr 29, 2013 / injunejo - May 4, 2013
|I not yet have a tree to give fruits but my heart; Personal Statement for college
2 - man man man! ain't gonna give my input bt i'm just gonna say...great piece and best of luck. here's...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 28, 2013 / Yourz_Truly - May 3, 2013
|Serving in the Peace Corps is a challenge I recently became acquainted with!
Undergraduatekeeper00 - May 1, 2013 / dumi - May 2, 2013
|I'm a very determined person ; appeal admission personal statement
Undergraduatesal123 - Apr 30, 2013 / dumi - May 1, 2013
|Contaminated Water: You experienced failure. How did it affect you?
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|A strong mind normally, but something happens to you and made you touched.
Undergraduatesasori66 - Apr 28, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|It was yelling, It was directing, And it was creating; What's important to you why?
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|Bursting the Bubble ; University of Arizona Personal Statement
3 - Beautiful and also very powerful start.... very impressive :) ....Up to this point your response is...
Undergraduateparkallen7 - Apr 28, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|"We die every day"; Motivational letter for the RSM?
Undergraduateandrea94 - Apr 27, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|Throughout my past, I was not heading in the right direction; Texas State U
Undergraduatejesseswll - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|What would you buy if you have enough money? House or Business ?
3 - What is the purpose of the essay? Is it a thesis, project report etc. Please mention. I guess...
Undergraduateflemmingbond - Apr 29, 2013 / Redtape - Apr 29, 2013
|I participated in exchange programs to UK & Scotland;Motivation Letter/ U Amsterdam
2 - When proof reading the application essay, please remember that it is needed for you to be able to state...
Undergraduateamstivan - Apr 29, 2013 / edwards - Apr 29, 2013
|My Doubt - Common App/ Significant Experience/achievement/risk
Undergraduatemacmurderharder - Apr 28, 2013 / trilam153 - Apr 28, 2013
|PERSONAL STATEMENT; I started my long challenging life journey at five
UndergraduateMasih - Apr 22, 2013 / Masih - Apr 26, 2013
|Obstacles to Overcome to become a Successful College Student
3 - You have too many general statements in this response. I think you need to tell more about you than...
Undergraduateblckswann - Apr 22, 2013 / dumi - Apr 26, 2013
|Working with Grandfather in Ice Cream Truck;SOP/Marketing/Canadian School of Business
3 - You need to change punctuation from comma to full-stop throughout this para. ... everybody starts their responses...
Undergraduaterko029 - Apr 22, 2013 / dumi - Apr 24, 2013
|READMISSION AFTER ACADEMIC DISQUALIFICATION; After the spring semester of 2009...
2 - Hello, I love this letter. It explains everything concisely and held my attention. You should add a tidbit about...
UndergraduateRM4661 - Apr 21, 2013 / Mmarshall876 - Apr 21, 2013
|Challenge to prove myself; statement of motivation for information engineering
5 - That experience aroused my fascination over the complexities of different structures and workings of computers. This...
Undergraduateohimai83 - Apr 15, 2013 / dumi - Apr 19, 2013
|Entrance essay about why I'm interested in the Health science program at my school
2 - For me, the purpose of schooling is not just acquiring knowledge and skills, but to learn how to...
UndergraduateKatieKatieKinns - Apr 18, 2013 / dumi - Apr 19, 2013
|'Chhota mistry' (little mechanic)' ; What has inspired me/ Skills developed
Undergraduatebachhaljannat - Apr 11, 2013 / bachhaljannat - Apr 18, 2013
|Passive Listner & Active Participant; Why NYU-Poly? Why your major?Poly thinker?
UndergraduateMarwanKenawy - Apr 13, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|'repairing electronics' - My Life Experiences/Interests to enrich community
4 - This one got very good ideas, but its length somewhat dilutes its effect. I suggest you to shorten...
UndergraduateDaveWB - Apr 13, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|Born in a 3rd world; PA school personal statement
Undergraduatekgierke1990 - Apr 12, 2013 / mahnoornadim - Apr 17, 2013
|My interest in Marketing began at the age of six; Need to write something creative!
Undergraduaterko029 - Apr 17, 2013 / Mmarshall876 - Apr 17, 2013
|List and discuss your most significant leadership/service activities/award
2 - .. but also had to start learning about the way the educational system was structured but also influenced me...
UndergraduateVasqueza - Apr 15, 2013 / niesaysi - Apr 17, 2013
|challenging coursework; Sounth CarolinaHonors College/academic goals
3 - .... the part I highlighted does not sound specific. I mean it is vague about what you really...
UndergraduateVasqueza - Apr 9, 2013 / dumi - Apr 14, 2013
|To be a voice for those who have lost their loved ones
Undergraduatequincymaureen - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 14, 2013
|Global Study Program ; Statement of purpose for an exchange program
3 - For many years, this thought remained unshaken. At present, being a student in sophomore year in...
Undergraduatezrj9294 - Apr 9, 2013 / dumi - Apr 13, 2013
|Next four years as a UC San Diego Triton is the best thing that could happen to me!
Undergraduatesamanthaaaj - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 13, 2013
|I grew up between two different cultures; Motivational Letter International Business
Undergraduatesguney - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|MEDICAL SCHOOL: WHY DO I WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR?
Undergraduaterburdier - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|Undergrad Study Plan for international school, Psychology program.
Undergraduateadc - Apr 6, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|Explore opportunities; Why Industrial Engineering at U OF T
UndergraduateMariakbeta - Apr 4, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|It was in grade eleven I decided to pursue a career in accountancy ; U Waterloo AFMAA
Undergraduatecontactr3ality - Mar 21, 2013 / contactr3ality - Apr 11, 2013
|It is truly a breathtaking moment ; Transfer application
5 - It is truly a breathtaking moment when one becomes aware of their passion. Otherwise, this is an excellent...
Undergraduatebman47 - Mar 15, 2013 / Vasqueza - Apr 9, 2013
|I could create art as a form of employment; SOP/SCAD graphic design BA
4 - "My school, being a bit underfunded, did not much care about the art department, although, I still dedicated all...
Undergraduatemyapothecary - Apr 2, 2013 / samanthaaaj - Apr 8, 2013
|Cancers and Alzheimers have affected my education; special circumstances
6 - My freshmen year it started with being a primary care giver for my grandmother who was diagnosed with third...
Undergraduatebkbadwal - Apr 3, 2013 / unigirl - Apr 7, 2013
|A troubled teenager; Person who had an impact on my life
5 - I don't think your essay will be checked unless some red flags pop up. If your story matches your...
UndergraduateLmcv05 - Mar 2, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 7, 2013
|It is hard to find good loyal people this day and age in society;1000words on loyalty
3 - There is enough more evidence that speaks of declining trend of peoples' loyalty today .... I...
Undergraduatej2k420 - Apr 2, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|I was enrolled in cyber school; STUDY IN JAPAN/ Adaptive person
3 - ... need to improve its presentation; I used to travel around the world with my family from a...
Undergraduatelcape97914 - Apr 2, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|I realize the importance of education; "Why I Want to Go To College"
2 - Even from a young age I always realized the importance of education and valued it very high. I...
UndergraduateEnjoi_Skating - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|Perfect opportunity; Motivation letter for student exchange program
3 - Honestly, saying that you want to use a college's money to learn another language is not a very good...
Undergraduateaida_1604 - Apr 3, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 3, 2013
|Turning point of my life began with my interest in Journalism U of A PS
5 - Hi again. I finished typing up a version of my personal statement and I'd like to get feedback on...
Undergraduatejlion234 - Mar 11, 2013 / jlion234 - Apr 3, 2013
|"You need to do it", said my academic advisor; Overcoming a recent academic challenge
3 - Dear juangar1992, I think it is a well written piece. However the dialogue seems a little out of place...
Undergraduatejuangar1992 - Apr 1, 2013 / Lmcv05 - Apr 2, 2013
|Stay Active Leadership Experience- College Essay for OU
2 - First, it would have been much better if you posted your prompt also with the essay. We could then...
UndergraduateZahra567 - Mar 30, 2013 / dumi - Apr 2, 2013
|"Your son is now in academic probation"/ Goals - Influence from Hispanic Heritage
Undergraduatejuangar1992 - Apr 1, 2013 / dumi - Apr 2, 2013
|I will grow, learn, and become successful; Transfer- Why Connecticut College?
3 - 4. Additionally, though the opportunity to connect with my peers is important to me, having a unique bond with...
UndergraduateChichoTran - Apr 1, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 1, 2013
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