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|"As long as you keep trying, you'll get it" - "Numbers and Me"/ COMMON TRANSFER APP
4 - You don't really convey why you want to transfer. What do you like about this new college? What better...
Undergraduateequilibratum - Jun 22, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jun 26, 2013
|Disagreement with the opinion of a fellow participant /CAE - Letter to a newspaper
4 - .... this latter part is very confusing.... the words "whole" and "doubtlessly" make your sentence too crowded...
UndergraduateNicoleElocin - Jun 9, 2013 / dumi - Jun 26, 2013
|Gryffindor Brave/ Most important characteristic of a person for him to be successful
UndergraduateHelen Song - Jun 20, 2013 / dumi - Jun 24, 2013
|Strength. Dedication. Discipline. Honor. Pride - (nomination prompt)
4 - This is a GREAT comment/question. Jon8502, you need to address this (preferably in the intro or conclusion)....
UndergraduateJon8502 - Jun 23, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 24, 2013
|English class; MY SECOND LIFE/ Significant Experience
UndergraduateShpresa - Jun 12, 2013 / Shpresa - Jun 24, 2013
|How Art Ins of California-Orange County helps me attain my career goals; COMMON APP
4 - MUCH better. It's Saturday here and I have some family stuff to do. However, I will revisit this...
UndergraduateDaisy95 - Jun 22, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 22, 2013
|My childhood hobby was to make toys with scrap materials; SOP-Autonomous Systems
4 - Hi JKJeremy, I am writing this essay as letter of motivation for my masters application in the field of...
Undergraduateharamoz - Jun 22, 2013 / haramoz - Jun 22, 2013
|I found my ultimate goals ; UW CSE - broad perspective to the engineering classroom
4 - You're most welcome. However, I need to see the word "simplicity" in the first sentence of a body...
Undergraduatekarangoeluw - Jun 21, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 21, 2013
|Evidence seems to suggest that a lot of value is attached to learning languages nowadays.
3 - ....nice qoute :) ....It should be "English" and not "english". You repeatedly do that mistake througout...
UndergraduateBas1 - Jun 3, 2013 / dumi - Jun 21, 2013
|At 15 I created and manage a website;TRANSFER;Community College to Radford University
2 - This is a good essay. I feel that I've learned something about you, which is more or less the...
Undergraduatepoqbum - Jun 19, 2013 / ershad193 - Jun 19, 2013
|I am a summer intern / Maser thesis cover latter
NEW - Respected Sir, I am Dhaval Harkhani, final year student of 5 year integrated program in SVNIT Surat India....
UndergraduateDhaval - Jun 19, 2013 / — -
|I say with conviction that my neighborhood has helped me grow;COMMUNITY/App
4 - I owe someone an apology. I didn't realize that this and the IELTS paper were by different writers. ...
Undergraduatenothingto - Jun 17, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jun 18, 2013
|Freedom is not free; Why do you want to attend a service academy (nomination prompt)
4 - I read the first draft and now this one. It's better, more personal than the first one, but still...
Undergraduatesogeily - Jun 11, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 17, 2013
|I'd like to be a part of NUS; Appeal Essay for University
4 - By being in this organization, I began to think deeply about life and help others, especially the ones...
Undergraduatechlorinek - May 31, 2013 / dumi - Jun 14, 2013
|Airport- Childhood to Adulthood / Accomplishment or Event
Undergraduatemarecrowley - Jun 12, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 13, 2013
|Minor in music from NYU/ Electrical and computer engineering ; Why NYU Poly?/Major?
5 - My latest revisions... Why do you want to attend NYU-Poly? Working alongside engineering and science students from...
Undergraduatepsrams42 - Jun 10, 2013 / psrams42 - Jun 13, 2013
|"Days to germination: 7-10."; Essay about failure/ growing tomatoes
Undergraduateannieyeah - Jun 12, 2013 / annieyeah - Jun 13, 2013
|Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels; Peace Corps.
3 - For me, love is a too short and simple answer and understanding what love really does mean is...
UndergraduateMarz13 - May 27, 2013 / dumi - Jun 13, 2013
|"That Flag Day"-Wisconsin Madison PS/ Enrich community
Undergraduatesuissezhao - Jun 10, 2013 / suissezhao - Jun 12, 2013
|"Describe a bump in the road....";UCF Undergraduate essay
Undergraduatesierrarr - May 23, 2013 / dumi - Jun 12, 2013
|Public speaking; My academic goal-Wisconsin-Madison PS
3 - Let's start with Grammar first. The essay has a number of grammatical errors, which can be a big turn...
Undergraduatesuissezhao - Jun 11, 2013 / shadman19922 - Jun 11, 2013
|Music has had a great effect on my world;CSU/ Book, song,movie that changed your life
3 - My advice is you shouldn't think of the grammar at an early stage. Try to write the whole essay...
Undergraduatedavidmax - May 13, 2013 / Lady Elle - Jun 10, 2013
|May is the fifth month of the year; Why number five is important?
6 - I like sapphire9xvn's suggestions. In the east, the five classical elements which include metal, wood, water, fire, earth are...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - May 19, 2013 / lespeed - Jun 3, 2013
|To obtain my associates degree in Liberal Arts, military background - admission
6 - I intend to attend The Art Institute of Tennessee-Nashville and obtain an Associate's Degree in Culinary Arts.After I earn...
UndergraduateLineMedic - Sep 8, 2011 / Didgeridoo - May 31, 2013
|Thoughts on Transfer Supplement Essay SUNY Old Westbury
Undergraduateskgarber - May 19, 2013 / dumi - May 25, 2013
|I started my college career 20 years ago; Nursing application essay
5 - Okay - Hopefully this is my final revision. I've gotten a lot helpful input from here and family. Can...
Undergraduatejhp25 - May 22, 2013 / jhp25 - May 24, 2013
|I am truly interested to be one of the scholars; Financial assistance letter
Undergraduatecj cancino - May 22, 2013 / jhp25 - May 22, 2013
|I was disappointed to find out my application to CS was unsuccessl; APPEAL /NUS
Undergraduatedq214843020 - May 22, 2013 / dq214843020 - May 22, 2013
|"Motivation to be the best - how I became president of HOSA" - UF essay
UndergraduateGatorFan28 - Sep 22, 2011 / dumi - May 22, 2013
|"Finally, I made it" ; TRANSFER/ USNA to UChicago; arch-nemesis
4 - The second "nemesis" essay is an allusion to many scenes in the Republic. The dream is the cave, the...
Undergraduatenhkpr7 - May 18, 2013 / nhkpr7 - May 21, 2013
|TRUST & CONFIDENCE - Success as a Peace Corps Volunteer
3 - You're being asked to write about ONE experience. Therefore, your essay begins where I've highlighted above....
UndergraduateMarz13 - May 19, 2013 / jkjeremy - May 20, 2013
|My interest for Chinese culture is developed since young; Appeal letter for NUS FASS
3 - First, I wish to stress that I fully understand and respect your decision of rejecting my admission application....
UndergraduateMiSsiNg - May 20, 2013 / dumi - May 20, 2013
|Transfer to NYU Gallatin-Why NYU?/Academic interests/What intrigues
2 - you mostly talk about the location and its environment.... I wish if you talked a little more about the...
Undergraduateabrownie - May 1, 2013 / dumi - May 19, 2013
|"I am going to join the Peace Corps"- Reasons/Past Experience/PC Expectations
2 - As I began filling the application, I realized the seriousness of the commitment. I felt I wasn't ready...
Undergraduatejenjenc22 - May 17, 2013 / dumi - May 18, 2013
|Beedie School of Business Appeal; Attempt 2
Undergraduatefrench rabbit - May 17, 2013 / Pahan - May 17, 2013
|I wish to further my education - Why Transfer? UAlbany
2 - .... I wish you need to improve your flow a little bit; Hudson Valley Community College provided me...
Undergraduatedpugs9 - May 14, 2013 / dumi - May 17, 2013
|Study Plan for Study Permit; Application to Embassy of Canada
6 - Okkkkkk...Let's tackle the very first one; Tell them about how you became interested in this field (Biotechnology)...
Undergraduatekatezzz - May 14, 2013 / dumi - May 16, 2013
|Why I'm a good candidate? - Michigan Research Community Application Essay
Undergraduatedealaus - May 7, 2013 / dumi - May 15, 2013
|Budding into the conversation at the dinner table changed my life; PERSONAL NARRATIVE
3 - There are some questionable word choices in your essay. here "ensued" reads awkward. you could just simply...
Undergraduatekbubrosky - May 8, 2013 / davidmax - May 14, 2013
|Course details; Programme of mathematics
Undergraduateandrea94 - Apr 27, 2013 / neoner - May 14, 2013
|College Green; Brown U - TRANSFER - Neuroscience
Undergraduateabrownie - Feb 24, 2013 / BachChaconne2 - May 12, 2013
|I am a fast learner; Peace Corps Essay 1
5 - This is good... I wish you try to elaborate the real situation (talk through your experience) rather than...
Undergraduateangie5 - May 3, 2013 / dumi - May 11, 2013
|I wish to return to Uzbekistan and work for General Motors; APU Application
4 - What is APU and what is UWED high school?! I'm from Uzbekistan too... What did you do to study...
Undergraduatestudious - May 6, 2013 / As is - May 7, 2013
|Right place to get high quality education; Reasons for attending APU
3 - Clear! This is awesome feedback. But, you know? I am not so perfect student to be capable of writing...
Undergraduatestudious - May 5, 2013 / studious - May 6, 2013
|I was always an extremely determined kid; Columbia Wait List Essay
Undergraduatecncpcion - Apr 27, 2013 / dumi - May 6, 2013
|English Teacher/ Interest in Business; Common App-business school (GGSB)
5 - thank you for correcting i just upload without any correcting sorry. i have question about my essay is there...
Undergraduateinjunejo - Apr 29, 2013 / injunejo - May 4, 2013
|I not yet have a tree to give fruits but my heart; Personal Statement for college
2 - man man man! ain't gonna give my input bt i'm just gonna say...great piece and best of luck. here's...
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 28, 2013 / Yourz_Truly - May 3, 2013
|Serving in the Peace Corps is a challenge I recently became acquainted with!
Undergraduatekeeper00 - May 1, 2013 / dumi - May 2, 2013
|I'm a very determined person ; appeal admission personal statement
Undergraduatesal123 - Apr 30, 2013 / dumi - May 1, 2013
|Contaminated Water: You experienced failure. How did it affect you?
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|A strong mind normally, but something happens to you and made you touched.
Undergraduatesasori66 - Apr 28, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|It was yelling, It was directing, And it was creating; What's important to you why?
Undergraduatetrilam153 - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|Bursting the Bubble ; University of Arizona Personal Statement
3 - Beautiful and also very powerful start.... very impressive :) ....Up to this point your response is...
Undergraduateparkallen7 - Apr 28, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|"We die every day"; Motivational letter for the RSM?
Undergraduateandrea94 - Apr 27, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|Throughout my past, I was not heading in the right direction; Texas State U
Undergraduatejesseswll - Apr 25, 2013 / dumi - Apr 30, 2013
|What would you buy if you have enough money? House or Business ?
3 - What is the purpose of the essay? Is it a thesis, project report etc. Please mention. I guess...
Undergraduateflemmingbond - Apr 29, 2013 / Redtape - Apr 29, 2013
|I participated in exchange programs to UK & Scotland;Motivation Letter/ U Amsterdam
2 - When proof reading the application essay, please remember that it is needed for you to be able to state...
Undergraduateamstivan - Apr 29, 2013 / edwards - Apr 29, 2013
|My Doubt - Common App/ Significant Experience/achievement/risk
Undergraduatemacmurderharder - Apr 28, 2013 / trilam153 - Apr 28, 2013
|PERSONAL STATEMENT; I started my long challenging life journey at five
UndergraduateMasih - Apr 22, 2013 / Masih - Apr 26, 2013
|Obstacles to Overcome to become a Successful College Student
3 - You have too many general statements in this response. I think you need to tell more about you than...
Undergraduateblckswann - Apr 22, 2013 / dumi - Apr 26, 2013
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