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|Working with Grandfather in Ice Cream Truck;SOP/Marketing/Canadian School of Business
3 - You need to change punctuation from comma to full-stop throughout this para. ... everybody starts their responses...
Undergraduaterko029 - Apr 22, 2013 / dumi - Apr 24, 2013
|READMISSION AFTER ACADEMIC DISQUALIFICATION; After the spring semester of 2009...
2 - Hello, I love this letter. It explains everything concisely and held my attention. You should add a tidbit about...
UndergraduateRM4661 - Apr 21, 2013 / Mmarshall876 - Apr 21, 2013
|Challenge to prove myself; statement of motivation for information engineering
5 - That experience aroused my fascination over the complexities of different structures and workings of computers. This...
Undergraduateohimai83 - Apr 15, 2013 / dumi - Apr 19, 2013
|Entrance essay about why I'm interested in the Health science program at my school
2 - For me, the purpose of schooling is not just acquiring knowledge and skills, but to learn how to...
UndergraduateKatieKatieKinns - Apr 18, 2013 / dumi - Apr 19, 2013
|'Chhota mistry' (little mechanic)' ; What has inspired me/ Skills developed
Undergraduatebachhaljannat - Apr 11, 2013 / bachhaljannat - Apr 18, 2013
|Passive Listner & Active Participant; Why NYU-Poly? Why your major?Poly thinker?
UndergraduateMarwanKenawy - Apr 13, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|'repairing electronics' - My Life Experiences/Interests to enrich community
4 - This one got very good ideas, but its length somewhat dilutes its effect. I suggest you to shorten...
UndergraduateDaveWB - Apr 13, 2013 / dumi - Apr 18, 2013
|Born in a 3rd world; PA school personal statement
Undergraduatekgierke1990 - Apr 12, 2013 / mahnoornadim - Apr 17, 2013
|My interest in Marketing began at the age of six; Need to write something creative!
Undergraduaterko029 - Apr 17, 2013 / Mmarshall876 - Apr 17, 2013
|List and discuss your most significant leadership/service activities/award
2 - .. but also had to start learning about the way the educational system was structured but also influenced me...
UndergraduateVasqueza - Apr 15, 2013 / niesaysi - Apr 17, 2013
|challenging coursework; Sounth CarolinaHonors College/academic goals
3 - .... the part I highlighted does not sound specific. I mean it is vague about what you really...
UndergraduateVasqueza - Apr 9, 2013 / dumi - Apr 14, 2013
|To be a voice for those who have lost their loved ones
Undergraduatequincymaureen - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 14, 2013
|Global Study Program ; Statement of purpose for an exchange program
3 - For many years, this thought remained unshaken. At present, being a student in sophomore year in...
Undergraduatezrj9294 - Apr 9, 2013 / dumi - Apr 13, 2013
|Next four years as a UC San Diego Triton is the best thing that could happen to me!
Undergraduatesamanthaaaj - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 13, 2013
|I grew up between two different cultures; Motivational Letter International Business
Undergraduatesguney - Apr 8, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|MEDICAL SCHOOL: WHY DO I WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR?
Undergraduaterburdier - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|Undergrad Study Plan for international school, Psychology program.
Undergraduateadc - Apr 6, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|Explore opportunities; Why Industrial Engineering at U OF T
UndergraduateMariakbeta - Apr 4, 2013 / dumi - Apr 12, 2013
|It was in grade eleven I decided to pursue a career in accountancy ; U Waterloo AFMAA
Undergraduatecontactr3ality - Mar 21, 2013 / contactr3ality - Apr 11, 2013
|It is truly a breathtaking moment ; Transfer application
5 - It is truly a breathtaking moment when one becomes aware of their passion. Otherwise, this is an excellent...
Undergraduatebman47 - Mar 15, 2013 / Vasqueza - Apr 9, 2013
|I could create art as a form of employment; SOP/SCAD graphic design BA
4 - "My school, being a bit underfunded, did not much care about the art department, although, I still dedicated all...
Undergraduatemyapothecary - Apr 2, 2013 / samanthaaaj - Apr 8, 2013
|Cancers and Alzheimers have affected my education; special circumstances
6 - My freshmen year it started with being a primary care giver for my grandmother who was diagnosed with third...
Undergraduatebkbadwal - Apr 3, 2013 / unigirl - Apr 7, 2013
|A troubled teenager; Person who had an impact on my life
5 - I don't think your essay will be checked unless some red flags pop up. If your story matches your...
UndergraduateLmcv05 - Mar 2, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 7, 2013
|It is hard to find good loyal people this day and age in society;1000words on loyalty
3 - There is enough more evidence that speaks of declining trend of peoples' loyalty today .... I...
Undergraduatej2k420 - Apr 2, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|I was enrolled in cyber school; STUDY IN JAPAN/ Adaptive person
3 - ... need to improve its presentation; I used to travel around the world with my family from a...
Undergraduatelcape97914 - Apr 2, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|I realize the importance of education; "Why I Want to Go To College"
2 - Even from a young age I always realized the importance of education and valued it very high. I...
UndergraduateEnjoi_Skating - Apr 5, 2013 / dumi - Apr 6, 2013
|Perfect opportunity; Motivation letter for student exchange program
3 - Honestly, saying that you want to use a college's money to learn another language is not a very good...
Undergraduateaida_1604 - Apr 3, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 3, 2013
|Turning point of my life began with my interest in Journalism U of A PS
5 - Hi again. I finished typing up a version of my personal statement and I'd like to get feedback on...
Undergraduatejlion234 - Mar 11, 2013 / jlion234 - Apr 3, 2013
|"You need to do it", said my academic advisor; Overcoming a recent academic challenge
3 - Dear juangar1992, I think it is a well written piece. However the dialogue seems a little out of place...
Undergraduatejuangar1992 - Apr 1, 2013 / Lmcv05 - Apr 2, 2013
|Stay Active Leadership Experience- College Essay for OU
2 - First, it would have been much better if you posted your prompt also with the essay. We could then...
UndergraduateZahra567 - Mar 30, 2013 / dumi - Apr 2, 2013
|"Your son is now in academic probation"/ Goals - Influence from Hispanic Heritage
Undergraduatejuangar1992 - Apr 1, 2013 / dumi - Apr 2, 2013
|I will grow, learn, and become successful; Transfer- Why Connecticut College?
3 - 4. Additionally, though the opportunity to connect with my peers is important to me, having a unique bond with...
UndergraduateChichoTran - Apr 1, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Apr 1, 2013
|My mom & dad made me who I'm today! / influential person in my life
4 - One suggestion I would say is to sub the word 'mom' for other pronouns. We are aware that you're...
Undergraduatesakun - Mar 24, 2013 / ChichoTran - Apr 1, 2013
|I spent four years working with John Smth ;Boulder/Influential people in my life.
Undergraduateavail6 - Apr 1, 2013 / ChichoTran - Apr 1, 2013
|"I find truth in those wise words of Napoleon"; SOP Civil Engineering in Australia
5 - brother your suggestions were very much helpful, thank for the reply and a night before I was thinking the...
UndergraduateAmir Moavia - Mar 29, 2013 / Amir Moavia - Apr 1, 2013
|My family moved a lot around the country ; Education Interruption
UndergraduateiShinta - Apr 1, 2013 / — -
|The road leading to a goal does not separate you from the destination; Common App
Undergraduatehussain567 - Mar 31, 2013 / sachin0312 - Apr 1, 2013
|Ignored my gut instincts; Readmission essay/low grades&wrong major
Undergraduatehthiara - Mar 31, 2013 / cblove9632 - Mar 31, 2013
|Focus on creating the well-rounded entrepreneur :Why Clive Davis I of Recorded Music?
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Mar 28, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 31, 2013
|Everyone has their expectations,hopes & fears about their senior year of high school!
NEW - Everyone has their own expectations, hopes, and fears about their senior year of high school. Even though I had...
Undergraduatemeep101 - Mar 30, 2013 / — -
|I'd like to become a Performer Entrepreneur; NYU/Statement of Intent
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Mar 27, 2013 / chessman567 - Mar 30, 2013
|Road to success; "How can you benefit from the education at AUC?"
Undergraduatezooma - Mar 29, 2013 / zooma - Mar 30, 2013
|Answeres for Common App prompts- KU International Summer Campus
3 - That can be one factor that influenced your decision, if you phrase it correctly (emphasizing that you know there...
Undergraduateryoga - Mar 29, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 29, 2013
|How do you get the hang of Thursdays? UofM LSA Honors
Undergraduatehlee106 - Mar 29, 2013 / chessman567 - Mar 29, 2013
|I believe in people, society and their culture; University of Colorado Boulder
Undergraduatesuzu - Mar 24, 2013 / dumi - Mar 29, 2013
|People say that I am absolutely ambitious and they may be right; Application
UndergraduateReka16 - Mar 25, 2013 / rhj - Mar 29, 2013
|I see trends and I see fads; Questbridge Common App
Undergraduateyebin96 - Mar 28, 2013 / Guest - Mar 28, 2013
|I was granted a scholarship for Eur 2000; My glion application
4 - I believe in a value system that respects others, possesses good work ethics and positive behaviors. As an...
UndergraduateOliviast - Mar 25, 2013 / dumi - Mar 28, 2013
|Volunteeriing in FIRST Robotics/WHY YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME?
3 - Do you want to tell the oraginaztion your passion in the volunteer work? You should not just say you...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Mar 23, 2013 / KYOAAA - Mar 27, 2013
|Personal Statement for Homeland Security Graduate School; I never desired to have such career
3 - Thanks sooo much Didgeridoo!! I just needed that ounce of confirmation before submitting and the grammatical corrections....
UndergraduateMelk87 - Mar 27, 2013 / Melk87 - Mar 27, 2013
|When I envision my future, I see Lifelong Learning -Transfer Objectives
UndergraduateARosecamp - Mar 26, 2013 / temptprovidence - Mar 27, 2013
|My wildest dream; New York Film Academy/ narrative statement
NEW - Hello, I am applying for a film school (New York Film Academy) and one of the requirements is to...
UndergraduateOlacha - Mar 27, 2013 / — -
|I have become 'fan' of something ;NYU Supplement - Campus Choice/Short-Answer Essays
NEW - Hi everyone! I'm applying to NYU as a transfer student, and was wondering if anyone would be kind...
Undergraduateblueeskyy - Mar 26, 2013 / — -
|Skidmore cares for its students; Transfer-Skidmore/ Academic+Personal Goals
6 - dumi She's probably referring to the academic major she will pursue a degree for in college. Maybe "studying...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Mar 19, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 26, 2013
|Set Your Arms Down; NYU Dramatic Writing Portfolio
6 - Thank you! I'll definitely read Dante's Inferno, I've been meaning to for a while now. And yeah I had...
Undergraduateskipperdee - Mar 24, 2013 / skipperdee - Mar 25, 2013
|I'm a DREMER; Characteristics or perspectives I possess that make me unique
Undergraduatekassiag - Mar 25, 2013 / iluvchocalate13 - Mar 25, 2013
|Temple University transfer essay? 10 year reunion?
Undergraduatetsalehx3 - Mar 24, 2013 / tsalehx3 - Mar 24, 2013
|Music has always been important in my family; NYU Transfer: Academic Interests
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Mar 13, 2013 / CherryPac18 - Mar 24, 2013
|"No one can take your education away from you"; NYU/Transfer/ Reasons &Objectives
UndergraduateCoraMan - Mar 24, 2013 / — -
|What characteristics or perspectives do you possess that make you unique?
2 - From my interpretation, your essay does not actually answer the question of how you are unique. This reads to...
Undergraduatekassiag - Mar 24, 2013 / cblove9632 - Mar 24, 2013
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