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|Curiosity led me on a remarkable voyage; My aspirations(goals)for Queen's U & beyond
UndergraduateThe Life of I - Feb 27, 2013 / The Life of I - Mar 1, 2013
|Followers of Christ; Biola/ process of spiritual growth
2 - Even though you were unsure as how to approach this essay, I personally believe that you did a great...
UndergraduateJcubed - Feb 28, 2013 / ebagwell - Mar 1, 2013
|Sea turtles, the environment-- Whitman / Current local,national, or global issue
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 28, 2013 / anniesis27 - Mar 1, 2013
|"Knowing oneself is the beginning of all wisdom"; Significant experiences
5 - Thanks guys for all the great feedback!! I took into consideration your views. I changed the intro around a...
Undergraduatescisslehannd - Feb 27, 2013 / scisslehannd - Feb 28, 2013
|FENCING, a sport that requires utmost committment; UT Austin Transfer SOP
4 - As stated above this essay has the potential to become a phenomenal essay. My advice would be to include...
Undergraduatesv00111 - Feb 24, 2013 / MCBacardi - Feb 28, 2013
|My family had sacrificed so much; Why I want to transfer
3 - Well... I read your full answer... It's ok, but I feel that you should have given more emphasis to...
Undergraduatejennnyyyy - Feb 26, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|Piercing my nose and my fighting against my family's opinions; UNPOPULAR Opinion
8 - Is this a better opening sentence? A sharp pain shot back into my brain, while a chill traveled...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 26, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 28, 2013
|LEAP FORWARD IN MY LIFE; Common App - Why Transfer?
3 - There was no feedback in the rod, nothing I could fight with . ("with" which is a preposition shouldn't...
Undergraduatekoiboi76 - Feb 27, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Feb 28, 2013
|Life is about making decisions; UVA TRANSFER:Why your field and what experiences?
Undergraduatethopraeran - Feb 27, 2013 / thopraeran - Feb 28, 2013
|Surprising endings are better than predictable endings
3 - more than clues, it is because of "arousing curiosity" of the reader. Then reader would naturally want to...
Undergraduatecarito15 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|"I'm a really active person"; Westmont C/Extracurricular activities
UndergraduateRyaneBin7 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|I constantly break thro barriers of the Atlantic Ocean waves; CORNELL/ExtraCurricular
4 - Agree :D You have chosesn a right activity, explained your passion for it and why it is important...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|"Dive!Dive!Dive!" squawks the master diver; Extracircular acitivty
6 - ha. your essays are always amazing. Yale is my dream college too :). But I like economics but it...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / chessman567 - Feb 27, 2013
|I am a go-getter! ; College APP - About Myself
Undergraduatekisjinjer231 - Jan 14, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Feb 27, 2013
|"If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" ; Whitman College Essay
5 - dumi So your saying I should just limit these sentence to only one? Also did you find this problem...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 27, 2013 / anniesis27 - Feb 27, 2013
|Large class sizes & rare relationships / TRANSFER Objectives
6 - My e-mails were rarely responded. and graduate students directed a majority of the office hours? I don't understand...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 18, 2013 / dumi - Feb 27, 2013
|At Penn, I will take the steps to grab every opportunity ;Penn/ Engage academically?
4 - Okay cool... thank you...I also dropped a message in the contributor thing...what do I do now?... if any one...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / android21 - Feb 27, 2013
|Reconnecting the Mind and the Heart; TRANSFER TO TEXAS A&M
Undergraduatednarch - Feb 26, 2013 / mhss - Feb 27, 2013
|Concept of Ying Yang in economics; Cornell TRANSFER, why economics?
Undergraduatelauman112233 - Feb 24, 2013 / lauman112233 - Feb 26, 2013
|"annyeonghaseyo" studying in a multicultural environment; Whitman C (Community FA
4 - Hi Annie, I'm applying as a community college transfer to Whitman as well! I would love to keep in...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 24, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 26, 2013
|I had to fulfill a duty to my parents; Cornell: Major, why, academic interests
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 22, 2013 / farbodsalahi - Feb 26, 2013
|My great great grandfather the president. Write about a person who impacted your life
Undergraduatestjahnavib - Feb 24, 2013 / dumi - Feb 26, 2013
|I learn so much more when I teach someone; Extracurricular Essay on Peer Tutoring
Undergraduateeemosai23 - Feb 24, 2013 / eemosai23 - Feb 26, 2013
|Student Government, Meetings, Elaborate on extracurricular activity (Common app)
3 - I rewrote another short essay: It is the simplest of movements: (Sohar Zaki) lifts hip, place foot down,...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 22, 2013 / anniesis27 - Feb 26, 2013
|Blindly follow criticisms without evidence? ;Stanford-Intellectual Vitallity
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 22, 2013 / chessman567 - Feb 25, 2013
|Aiming High & Working Hard; Enrollment with a program - Physician Assistant
UndergraduateMosesFlato - Feb 24, 2013 / MosesFlato - Feb 25, 2013
|Advertising has always fascinated me; Art Institute of California - LA / Career Goa
UndergraduateRyane777 - Feb 25, 2013 / gudxo2014 - Feb 25, 2013
|American model of education; AUBG-Global Perspective&Social Responsibility
Undergraduatevhohlov - Feb 23, 2013 / vhohlov - Feb 25, 2013
|Peer Presure; Discretionary Entrance/ U OTAGO
NEW - Hi everyone there, I'm trying to write a discretionary entrance essay to University of Otago but not sure...
UndergraduateJbosco - Feb 25, 2013 / — -
|"I am 19, crazy, differently weird, full of life, and fun"; MIT UPDATE
Undergraduatehoneybooo - Feb 19, 2013 / honeybooo - Feb 25, 2013
|Presence of my parents slowly lost definition; UT Austin Transfer;Issue of Importance
Undergraduatesv00111 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 25, 2013
|I did not grow up in the America; SOP
Undergraduatejukuo - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 25, 2013
|Picturesque, Brilliant Students, Renowned Academics; Brown Transfer (Biology Major)
Undergraduatejpsmyth - Feb 24, 2013 / jpsmyth - Feb 25, 2013
|Correlations between different fields; Issues of Importance to me
3 - I really love your essay; I thought it answered the question well. I like the fact how you relate...
UndergraduateEvan9221 - Feb 24, 2013 / anniesis27 - Feb 24, 2013
|Finding The Perfect Pair of Jeans - Transfer Essay
7 - I have since come to the conclusion that no high school student can know exactly what they want from...
Undergraduateabrownie - Feb 4, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Feb 24, 2013
|I chose to learn Korean for simple and obvious practical reasons; Harvard Supp
Undergraduatedwangus - Feb 21, 2013 / android21 - Feb 23, 2013
|Tech based Paddy Farming Business; NUS Fass Economics & Business/ Activity
Undergraduatethoradycus - Feb 23, 2013 / thoradycus - Feb 23, 2013
|Home Is Not A Place - Issue of Importance UT Austin
Undergraduatenathalyg - Feb 22, 2013 / dumi - Feb 23, 2013
|READING, QUIZ & PHOTOGRAPHY; NUS - ACTIVITY that is relevant to the course
2 - Hi VinayakM, I see lots of help has been provided to you by Did geridoo with regard to cutting...
UndergraduateVinayakM - Feb 3, 2013 / dumi - Feb 23, 2013
|My fascination for computers began with video games; AUBG/ broaden global perspective
2 - I removed the first punctuation which is not necessary. I think the last part should be taken into...
UndergraduateErilar - Feb 22, 2013 / dumi - Feb 23, 2013
|The pass read "Mentorship 12:00"; How have you helped build your community?
Undergraduateamandaco - Feb 21, 2013 / nathalyg - Feb 22, 2013
|My faith and my education; Azusa Pacific U Christian Environment
UndergraduateM_Squared - Feb 21, 2013 / dumi - Feb 21, 2013
|I was diagnosed with orbital cellulitis; PERSONAL STATEMENT
4 - I think Grammatically your essay is good and the content is touching. You did a great job in telling...
UndergraduateLehi - Feb 18, 2013 / KYOAAA - Feb 21, 2013
|My mother's influence; Person with Significant Influence
5 - I believe this essay hinders you as an invidiual. Many college students write about an influence in their life,...
Undergraduatetomcruisin444 - Feb 20, 2013 / lilkiddykid - Feb 21, 2013
|"My parents instilled the idea of open mindedness" ;Transfer Reasons & Objectives
2 - I like your last paragraph a lot! Overall, I think your essay looks really good. Maybe for a nice...
Undergraduatedbullock2 - Feb 20, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Feb 21, 2013
|My ambitious nature; AUBG admission (Computer Science & Information Technology)
2 - ... I began to find my strong desire in acquiring a broader knowledge in the field of computer...
UndergraduateAndriZz - Feb 21, 2013 / dumi - Feb 21, 2013
|Diagnosed with severe Anxiety & moderate Depression; Significant experience
3 - good tips and corrections Tian... and a powerful imagery Cody... i have a little objection over the word "ridicule"...
UndergraduateCody - Feb 20, 2013 / painful shadow - Feb 21, 2013
|Middle school for me was not exactly how I expected it !
UndergraduateRavy908 - Feb 20, 2013 / dumi - Feb 20, 2013
|"I value honesty and hard work" ; Personal Information
Undergraduatetilly_yaya - Feb 19, 2013 / tilly_yaya - Feb 20, 2013
|I arrived in Guadalajara as naive, inexperienced person; TRANSFER - SOP (U Austin)
Undergraduatenathalyg - Feb 17, 2013 / nathalyg - Feb 20, 2013
|I want to go further- What inspired you to study @U Toronto
4 - You mean what I think of your essay overall? Overall, I think it's a solid essay that's really clear...
UndergraduateGoksan - Feb 20, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Feb 20, 2013
|my journey to happiness ; VCU PERSONAL STATEMENT
3 - You write very well, but the essay asks you to write about yourself. All I've learned about you after...
UndergraduateGoingsomewhere - Feb 19, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Feb 20, 2013
|I fell in love with UCF immediately; Why I choose UCF/Unique Qualities
NEW - Constructive criticism greatly appreciated, thanks! :) -Why did you choose to apply to UCF? Applying to the...
Undergraduatebeep098 - Feb 20, 2013 / — -
|BAD History - Explaining Academic Dismissal
Undergraduatesomedaysoon - Feb 16, 2013 / somedaysoon - Feb 19, 2013
|"INFLUENCING PEOPLE WITH MY QUIRKY, CREATIVE IDEAS"/ Statement of Purpose/UTEXAS
3 - Thank you for your edits. I wanted to answer some of your questions: 1. "Was this before or after...
Undergraduateana93 - Feb 19, 2013 / ana93 - Feb 19, 2013
|"Space vs. place"; Reasons fro Transfer/ Objectives
Undergraduateappassionata - Feb 16, 2013 / ana93 - Feb 19, 2013
|My friend Roberto & his sense of humor; DESCRIBE A PERSON
UndergraduateJulieta_21 - Feb 18, 2013 / dumi - Feb 19, 2013
|" I was always told to strive and be the greatest" ; Temple U; 10 - year reunion
2 - Looks good, just needs some technical work. My quest in try replacing in with "to become" or something...
Undergraduatejwallis - Feb 18, 2013 / temberger93 - Feb 18, 2013
|"I'm a young female mogul before I'm an artist", Nicki Minaj; Person with influence
5 - Nicki Minaj is definitely a tough woman to write as "influential" but I think you did a great job....
UndergraduatePGSJ - Feb 16, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 18, 2013
|I hope to refine my Italian; Portland- Lewis&Clark TRANSFER
3 - I'm not sure what you mean by- "I don't think they'll really be ranking this one" Can you explain?...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 18, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 18, 2013
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