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|Tennis powerhouse ; Ivy League material/ Place or Environment
9 - Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why...
Undergraduatelemonboy377 - Mar 9, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 10, 2013
|why do you choose accounting major? (PT Thiess Scolarship)
Undergraduatejulitajulita - Mar 9, 2013 / julitajulita - Mar 10, 2013
|Learning beyond the classroom; U Minnesota-Why live in Dorm?/ Experience
2 - [i]Moreover, being someone who loves to explore other cultures I find it is a privilege to live...
Undergraduatenguyensybach - Mar 9, 2013 / dumi - Mar 9, 2013
|I sought out ways to excel in an Economic academic setting; Why you want to transfer?
Undergraduateadspeeding - Mar 6, 2013 / adspeeding - Mar 8, 2013
|Aye Aye Captain! No GPS or Google Maps! .......Stranded far north of HAWAII!!
Undergraduateislandgrl23 - Mar 8, 2013 / temptprovidence - Mar 8, 2013
|Journey full of obstacles and surprises; TRANSFER-Cornell,U Miami,NYU&American U.
5 - Hi good job. It was very sincere. Perhaps you can make your hook statement more dynamic that acts solely...
Undergraduatearivero1992 - Feb 28, 2013 / islandgrl23 - Mar 8, 2013
|My parents invest all their time, effort for me; GENETICS AND SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH
4 - Good job. Your hook (first sentence) can be improved. Make it more inviting, exciting, alluring, or simply more interesting....
Undergraduatesunset05 - Feb 28, 2013 / islandgrl23 - Mar 8, 2013
|MY ACADEMIC JOURNEY; SOP for UT
5 - I like the dynamics and vivid imagery of your writing but I think it can be improved by making...
UndergraduateMCBacardi - Feb 28, 2013 / islandgrl23 - Mar 8, 2013
|Crazy amounts of Chaos in my homeland -SMDEP ESSAY
3 - Coming from Sudan, what is now called North Sudan, I belong to one of the affluent Sudanese families...
UndergraduateAmjeezy1 - Feb 28, 2013 / dumi - Mar 8, 2013
|I was represening both my beliefs and people; TRANSFER- Letter of Motivation
3 - Well.... I think you need to talk more about your professional goals,both short and long term, the course you...
Undergraduatesomedaysoon - Feb 28, 2013 / dumi - Mar 8, 2013
|Everyone needs a moment of clarification; UT- SOP
4 - It's good if you posted the prompt such as "topic of choice" or "significant achievement" etc.... Then we would...
Undergraduatekillerdestiny - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 7, 2013
|I have been interested in computers and other electrical devices;TOPIC OF MY CHOICE
4 - Well... I feel you should be able to fit into this story. Your answer to this prompt needs to...
UndergraduateHockeykid16 - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 7, 2013
|Small businesses are the engine of the economy; TRANSFER/CORNEL&UCHICAGO
3 - As a twelve year old Jamaican xxxx resident, I've understood that small businesses make up the engine of...
Undergraduatekabal - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 7, 2013
|Issue of importance essay: Dishonesty in Sports!
Undergraduateafflictedfury - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 7, 2013
|I have always been besan, a plain Indian flour!; PERSUASIVE ESSAY
Undergraduatehkk24 - Mar 6, 2013 / dumi - Mar 7, 2013
|"Education is a social process; Education is growth" - UT / Personal Essay
4 - This is a well-written essay, but content-wise, I have some issues with it. A. The prompt says "Choose...
UndergraduateMCBacardi - Feb 28, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 5, 2013
|'A Chance to Change' essay- This is worth a trip to Africa!
Undergraduatehalhante - Mar 4, 2013 / mhss - Mar 4, 2013
|CURIOSITY has been the cornerstone of man's evolution; SOP - Automobile Engineering
2 - Much improved! Because your SOP is so long as it is, I would suggest not adding anything else. Besides,...
Undergraduateaneesh31891 - Feb 24, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Mar 4, 2013
|Academic success is very important in the world today.; PERSONAL STATEMENT
Undergraduatelilkiddykid - Jan 30, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Mar 4, 2013
|Getting into this type of college is my aspiration!-Webster University of St Louis
2 - I love your personal statement but you must do your best to avoid redundancy or the repetition of words....
Undergraduateslsaosaiasa - Mar 4, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Mar 4, 2013
|"I bet I can beat you in this shenanigans" ;Natural competitive nature
5 - I have a special interest in the field of neuropsychology. As an undergraduate student, I had the opportunity to...
Undergraduatewasdsadawas - Mar 4, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Mar 4, 2013
|Challenge of providing financial means for the family!
Undergraduateevadfa - Mar 4, 2013 / — -
|Ice Sculpture Hero----National University of Singapore Undergraduate Essay
2 - Ice sculpture is what Harbin is well known for its expertise and what was instrumental in changing my...
UndergraduateNightHeart - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Mar 4, 2013
|'Varna za mladite' & volunteering initiatives; AUBG /Global perspective
Undergraduatefiredesi0906 - Feb 26, 2013 / dumi - Mar 4, 2013
|"It's never too late to change" ; TRANSFER -UTexas at Austin- SOP
9 - .... you better express what profession you are really eyeing on, be specific because it would sound that...
Undergraduatejoed94 - Feb 18, 2013 / dumi - Mar 4, 2013
|UCF's Famous "bump in the road" Essay
3 - Thank you for these modifications and suggestions! I will definitely use all of these! For "As months passed,...
Undergraduategrena37 - Mar 3, 2013 / grena37 - Mar 3, 2013
|I hate classical music/Grand Theory of Unification/Roommate/ Socks matters; Stanford
2 - I really like the sock one, but the ending just falls apart. It's just my opinion, so you should...
UndergraduateBaldrick1115 - Mar 2, 2013 / chessman567 - Mar 3, 2013
|My goal was simple;reach the summit of Mountain Fansipan; SMU / Important Achievement
4 - .... Well... I too agree... this reads like an account of what you experienced. You need to have...
Undergraduateprivate93 - Feb 28, 2013 / dumi - Mar 3, 2013
|"Why haven't we gone to Japan?"; ADMISSIONS PAPER FOR STUDY ABROAD IN JAPAN.
3 - THANK YOU SO MUCH. and no I have not submitted this yet. Thank you for the editing and basically...
Undergraduatelcape97914 - Mar 1, 2013 / lcape97914 - Mar 2, 2013
|The search of Higgs Particles and my life; Purdue University/ Envision yourself
5 - android21 Thanks!!!. Actually, this is the only essay that is required by the institution. XDXDXD...
Undergraduatephysicsguy - Mar 1, 2013 / physicsguy - Mar 2, 2013
|I'm from Iraq, which is one of the largest oil producer!
Undergraduateomar686 - Feb 28, 2013 / omar686 - Mar 2, 2013
|child trafficking as a form of marriage, Whitman essay
6 - Not true whatsoever. If you read the prompt, you would understand that this is supposed to be personal!...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Mar 1, 2013 / danimeep - Mar 1, 2013
|Research on Foxconn's suicides incident; TRANSFER/ Extracurricular activity
2 - Is this a question that chan is asking you? if so, maybe you should express it diffrently because...
Undergraduatelauman112233 - Mar 1, 2013 / android21 - Mar 1, 2013
|My interests do not match up with those of my peers; Transfer Reasons/Objectives
4 - Thanks very much, but I'm unclear about that comment. It is kind of a criticism. It's a good thing,...
Undergraduatetemberger93 - Feb 18, 2013 / temberger93 - Mar 1, 2013
|My life is defined by three sections of time; UTexas - SOP
3 - Yea just fix what dig wrote and you will have a powerful essay!!...and I am from FLORIDA, PLEASE TELL...
Undergraduatemascot92 - Mar 1, 2013 / android21 - Mar 1, 2013
|Curiosity led me on a remarkable voyage; My aspirations(goals)for Queen's U & beyond
UndergraduateThe Life of I - Feb 27, 2013 / The Life of I - Mar 1, 2013
|Followers of Christ; Biola/ process of spiritual growth
2 - Even though you were unsure as how to approach this essay, I personally believe that you did a great...
UndergraduateJcubed - Feb 28, 2013 / ebagwell - Mar 1, 2013
|Sea turtles, the environment-- Whitman / Current local,national, or global issue
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 28, 2013 / anniesis27 - Mar 1, 2013
|"Knowing oneself is the beginning of all wisdom"; Significant experiences
5 - Thanks guys for all the great feedback!! I took into consideration your views. I changed the intro around a...
Undergraduatescisslehannd - Feb 27, 2013 / scisslehannd - Feb 28, 2013
|FENCING, a sport that requires utmost committment; UT Austin Transfer SOP
4 - As stated above this essay has the potential to become a phenomenal essay. My advice would be to include...
Undergraduatesv00111 - Feb 24, 2013 / MCBacardi - Feb 28, 2013
|My family had sacrificed so much; Why I want to transfer
3 - Well... I read your full answer... It's ok, but I feel that you should have given more emphasis to...
Undergraduatejennnyyyy - Feb 26, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|Piercing my nose and my fighting against my family's opinions; UNPOPULAR Opinion
8 - Is this a better opening sentence? A sharp pain shot back into my brain, while a chill traveled...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 26, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 28, 2013
|LEAP FORWARD IN MY LIFE; Common App - Why Transfer?
3 - There was no feedback in the rod, nothing I could fight with . ("with" which is a preposition shouldn't...
Undergraduatekoiboi76 - Feb 27, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Feb 28, 2013
|Life is about making decisions; UVA TRANSFER:Why your field and what experiences?
Undergraduatethopraeran - Feb 27, 2013 / thopraeran - Feb 28, 2013
|Surprising endings are better than predictable endings
3 - more than clues, it is because of "arousing curiosity" of the reader. Then reader would naturally want to...
Undergraduatecarito15 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|"I'm a really active person"; Westmont C/Extracurricular activities
UndergraduateRyaneBin7 - Feb 25, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|I constantly break thro barriers of the Atlantic Ocean waves; CORNELL/ExtraCurricular
4 - Agree :D You have chosesn a right activity, explained your passion for it and why it is important...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / dumi - Feb 28, 2013
|"Dive!Dive!Dive!" squawks the master diver; Extracircular acitivty
6 - ha. your essays are always amazing. Yale is my dream college too :). But I like economics but it...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / chessman567 - Feb 27, 2013
|I am a go-getter! ; College APP - About Myself
Undergraduatekisjinjer231 - Jan 14, 2013 / tomcruisin444 - Feb 27, 2013
|"If you could wish for one thing, what would it be?" ; Whitman College Essay
5 - dumi So your saying I should just limit these sentence to only one? Also did you find this problem...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 27, 2013 / anniesis27 - Feb 27, 2013
|Large class sizes & rare relationships / TRANSFER Objectives
6 - My e-mails were rarely responded. and graduate students directed a majority of the office hours? I don't understand...
Undergraduatedanimeep - Feb 18, 2013 / dumi - Feb 27, 2013
|At Penn, I will take the steps to grab every opportunity ;Penn/ Engage academically?
4 - Okay cool... thank you...I also dropped a message in the contributor thing...what do I do now?... if any one...
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 27, 2013 / android21 - Feb 27, 2013
|Reconnecting the Mind and the Heart; TRANSFER TO TEXAS A&M
Undergraduatednarch - Feb 26, 2013 / mhss - Feb 27, 2013
|Concept of Ying Yang in economics; Cornell TRANSFER, why economics?
Undergraduatelauman112233 - Feb 24, 2013 / lauman112233 - Feb 26, 2013
|"annyeonghaseyo" studying in a multicultural environment; Whitman C (Community FA
4 - Hi Annie, I'm applying as a community college transfer to Whitman as well! I would love to keep in...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 24, 2013 / danimeep - Feb 26, 2013
|I had to fulfill a duty to my parents; Cornell: Major, why, academic interests
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 22, 2013 / farbodsalahi - Feb 26, 2013
|My great great grandfather the president. Write about a person who impacted your life
Undergraduatestjahnavib - Feb 24, 2013 / dumi - Feb 26, 2013
|I learn so much more when I teach someone; Extracurricular Essay on Peer Tutoring
Undergraduateeemosai23 - Feb 24, 2013 / eemosai23 - Feb 26, 2013
|Student Government, Meetings, Elaborate on extracurricular activity (Common app)
3 - I rewrote another short essay: It is the simplest of movements: (Sohar Zaki) lifts hip, place foot down,...
Undergraduateanniesis27 - Feb 22, 2013 / anniesis27 - Feb 26, 2013
|Blindly follow criticisms without evidence? ;Stanford-Intellectual Vitallity
Undergraduateandroid21 - Feb 22, 2013 / chessman567 - Feb 25, 2013
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