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|CHILDCARE QUEEN; My important or rewarding Activities & Why?
4 - Entertaining. It keeps the reader interested in how it ends. On a side note, I like your technique...
Undergraduateamandaco - Jan 23, 2013 / ejpedde - Jan 24, 2013
|Johns Hopkins Transfer Supplement - Why Hopkins? 'Outdated stereotypes'
4 - You should state what are your contributions going to be at the university more compared to the people. That...
Undergraduateabrownie - Jan 19, 2013 / nair - Jan 24, 2013
|GIRLS WITH TATTOOS; Transfer to UT Austin- Issue of Importance
Undergraduatesamnemeth - Jan 22, 2013 / samnemeth - Jan 23, 2013
|Not yet an artist; Parsons (New School) BFA / "ARTIST STATEMENT"
4 - You cannot just substitute another personal pronoun for another. It doesn't solve the problem. This sentence is...
Undergraduatemschechner - Jan 23, 2013 / jkjeremy - Jan 23, 2013
|Tufts "let your life speak" - why I want to be a doctor
Undergraduatejpsmyth - Jan 15, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 23, 2013
|Woody Allen's life; Transfer to Reed College
4 - Thanks for your feedback, although I find your stylistic changes to be subjective and more a matter of preference...
Undergraduatetheharriest - Jan 22, 2013 / theharriest - Jan 23, 2013
|UT Austin Statement of Purpose; 'I only had minimal interest in the human body'
6 - I definitely agree on these two things, didn't even think about them until you pointed them out though..I...
Undergraduatesamnemeth - Jan 22, 2013 / samnemeth - Jan 23, 2013
|"Dill mill Gayya" - Why i want to be a nurse
Undergraduatefaraaa80 - Jan 22, 2013 / dumi - Jan 23, 2013
|Depth & Variety of physiology programs; U Washington-Transfer
4 - Keep working at it, you're definitely capable of it as you proved in the first paragraph! writing is alot...
Undergraduatekamariak - Jan 22, 2013 / Ban Drowne - Jan 22, 2013
|Cowbell mathematics competition; How my experiences contribute
Undergraduatetonyguesswho - Jan 22, 2013 / Ban Drowne - Jan 22, 2013
|The possibilities are endless; USC communications and journalism letter of intent
2 - Overall I think you responded to the question well, there were times when you may have been a little...
Undergraduatefutureisscary - Jan 22, 2013 / Dgarp13 - Jan 22, 2013
|ASHA certifiedCertificate of Clinical Competenence; Speech Pathology(PS-Grad School)
5 - Hi Dumi Thank You also I changed the first paragraph to this below... While visiting my grandmother most summers...
Undergraduatemicky1021 - Jan 22, 2013 / micky1021 - Jan 22, 2013
|'My father in his uniform' - Apply Texas: someone who influenced your life.
2 - The transition from your first paragraph to the second is a bit awkward. Maybe include when and why you...
Undergraduateandriannette - Jan 22, 2013 / Dgarp13 - Jan 22, 2013
|to my mom' - Apply Texas Topic A (Inspiration)
5 - I completely rewrote my essay and definitely made sure to write more about how she impacted ME. Thanks for...
UndergraduateDgarp13 - Jan 8, 2013 / Dgarp13 - Jan 22, 2013
|Engineering Ambition; UIUC-Transfer Motivation/Academic Interests/Professional Goals
Undergraduatekid2512 - Jan 22, 2013 / kid2512 - Jan 22, 2013
|PEOPLE GO FISHING THEIR ENTIRE LIFE; A Community I Belong To- Supplement Essay
4 - Hmm..perhaps i have been too indirect. The community that I was saying that i belonged to was that of...
Undergraduatejxenge123 - Jan 22, 2013 / jxenge123 - Jan 22, 2013
|HOPE IN DARKNESS, Confidence & Taliban regime; American U for Afganistan
Undergraduatekhalidhaidary - Jan 21, 2013 / dumi - Jan 22, 2013
|Vission of Success; Feed back on Common APP
UndergraduateBlink22 - Jan 17, 2013 / Blink22 - Jan 22, 2013
|FIRST Robotics community ; UMichigian Ann Arbor/ Community
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 21, 2013 / dumi - Jan 22, 2013
|FIRST time I flew looking for a job; RICHMOND UNIVERSITY SUPP - Leaving Comfort zone
Undergraduatecskillman - Jan 21, 2013 / cskillman - Jan 21, 2013
|Toastmasters Experience; Common App Short Answers
UndergraduateS_Choi1 - Jan 7, 2013 / S_Choi1 - Jan 21, 2013
|Severe Anxiety & Chronic Depression; Transfer - Additional Information
4 - No actually, I kinda spiced it up a little to make it seem more positive. The medication I am...
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Jan 19, 2013 / CherryPac18 - Jan 21, 2013
|My special interest in ASD; Speech/Language Pathology -Purpose Essay
5 - What a great start to your essay. I agree a little more details about what type of therapy you...
Undergraduatemama2alexnblake - Jan 14, 2013 / micky1021 - Jan 21, 2013
|WORK ETHIC; COMMONAPP -WORK EXPERIENCE
UndergraduateAnonymous13 - Jan 14, 2013 / Anonymous13 - Jan 21, 2013
|Waldo's presence / Breathing difficulty; U CHICAGO/ WALDO; Which one is better?
4 - Can you explain why the first is worse than the second? I am very confused. Secondly, can anyone tell...
Undergraduatekabal - Jan 16, 2013 / kabal - Jan 21, 2013
|STUDY ABROAD PROGRAM; U Toronto-trinity supp/ extracurricular
Undergraduatelexyliu1209 - Jan 21, 2013 / happy_bons - Jan 21, 2013
|HERO inside everyone just waiting to change the wrold; CLI (Northwestern )
3 - I like your beginning. It catches the reader's eye.:) I was happy, but something was missing. I wasn't...
Undergraduateankitrohan1 - Jan 20, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 21, 2013
|My faultless grandfather; Person who had the most impact on me
UndergraduateViViLin - Jan 20, 2013 / ViViLin - Jan 21, 2013
|When I was little, math was a game; U Toronto-trinity - Academic interests/why Toronto?
2 - When I was a little girl, mathematics is a game. was I think you should reword the following: 1....
Undergraduatelexyliu1209 - Jan 21, 2013 / CherryPac18 - Jan 21, 2013
|Advantages and Disadvantages of travelling abroad
2 - Thanks to globalization, the number of foreign tourists is continuously increasing in most countries. ...
Undergraduatewindkute - Jan 21, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 21, 2013
|Traveling around China inspires me ; Wisconsin-Madison Why Engineering?
5 - Thaks for giving me suggestion. I had written about the program the university provides. As an undergraduate...
Undergraduatemarcushbh - Jan 21, 2013 / marcushbh - Jan 21, 2013
|Newspaper& Internet/Engineering, Community project, Sports - How& Why NJIT?
7 - Some kind of it. I feel you are generalizing the facts. So it maybe a little dry.Perhaps you can...
Undergraduatesidney007 - Jan 19, 2013 / marcushbh - Jan 21, 2013
|Psychological and Brain Science; Dartmouth Transfer - Academic Interest
2 - "Having sat in classes ranged from Health Psychology to Abnormal Psychology" this does not make sense "like Dr....
Undergraduatevuanhquan92 - Jan 20, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 21, 2013
|Competitiveness, Biochemistry Major, Professors, Diligent Peers; TRANSFER OBJECTIVES
2 - really good, you should confident but I don't think its to the point where you sound arrogant. definitely separate...
UndergraduateApolloEzra - Jan 20, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 21, 2013
|College, a place of New Begginings & unexpected encounters; TRANSFERING OBJECTIVES
2 - I think you should speak less about the school that you currently attend. You should also spend some time...
Undergraduatesmammadov94 - Jan 20, 2013 / CherryPac18 - Jan 20, 2013
|Police officers; College App - Issue of importance
UndergraduatedreamingofTech - Jan 17, 2013 / dreamingofTech - Jan 20, 2013
|Sovereignty,Class selection,Student body ; Boston U- Good Fit/ Why apply?
UndergraduateApolloEzra - Jan 20, 2013 / ankitrohan1 - Jan 20, 2013
|Alecander the Great; OWN QUESTION and RESPOND/ U Maryland College Park
2 - If I could be remembered for anything, then I would like to be remembered for making a contribution or...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 20, 2013 / ankitrohan1 - Jan 20, 2013
|'College Green with The Awakening' - Brown Transfer Supplement - Why Brown
4 - Here is an updated copy with the prompt. Please review!! Please tell us more about your interest in...
Undergraduateabrownie - Nov 23, 2012 / abrownie - Jan 20, 2013
|World around me has constantly changed; Why I Wish to Transfer
3 - The essay is very well written and interesting, but I think the conclusion could be wrapped up a little...
Undergraduatejxenge123 - Jan 20, 2013 / ApolloEzra - Jan 20, 2013
|PURSUIT OF MY NEW PASSION; REASONS -TRANSFER
6 - Very good essay, it states your reason for transfer clearly and it expresses your dedication and motivation....
Undergraduateharryadjei - Jan 20, 2013 / ApolloEzra - Jan 20, 2013
|Dance Hall Music; Transfer Common App- Extracurricular
UndergraduateCherryPac18 - Jan 19, 2013 / rcamp92 - Jan 20, 2013
|AbuDhabi/Lonely Planet/Unity,Values,Knowledge sharing-Choice of living/Book&Why UWC?
UndergraduateLDWV - Jan 20, 2013 / dumi - Jan 20, 2013
|Achieving a well rounded character; Why transfer to GWU?
Undergraduatenair - Jan 12, 2013 / nair - Jan 20, 2013
|Chinese chess; U Wisconsin-Madison/ Gone Unnoticed
4 - Thank you very much! I have a serious problem in grammar. The vocabularies I use are always improper. I...
Undergraduatemarcushbh - Jan 18, 2013 / marcushbh - Jan 20, 2013
|Advertising & Marketing Communications; FIT NYC- Perfect candidate/ Major/ Experience
2 - They say that great loses in our lives, sometimes help us develop stronger personalities. -------------- I feel it...
Undergraduatemaysmalls - Jan 19, 2013 / dumi - Jan 20, 2013
|Statement of Purpose, Master degree, Electrical Engineering, VLSI
UndergraduateIsabellaNi - Jan 19, 2013 / dumi - Jan 19, 2013
|'The biggest small' - Passion/ Pressure/ COMMON APP; Issue of importance
Undergraduatejorgearmando18 - Jan 6, 2013 / jorgearmando18 - Jan 19, 2013
|Diversity & Change/Motivation Clarkson Honors - What can i contribute
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Jan 19, 2013 / dumi - Jan 19, 2013
|JOURNALISM ,"This is mine, I created this"; GOALS
5 - Hmmm... You have written it well but most of your parts are unnecessary I believe. You have not clearly...
Undergraduatenivanov23 - Jan 19, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 19, 2013
|TO SERVE OTHERS; What defines me: LEADERSHIP/SERVICE/LEARNING/GLOBAL AWARENESS
3 - I can see what kind of statements you are trying to make and the approach that you are attempting...
Undergraduatecurlaay - Jan 18, 2013 / khassan - Jan 19, 2013
|Industrious and determination ;U MARYLAND- Parts that add up to the sum of ME
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 19, 2013 / love_mashimaro2 - Jan 19, 2013
|To validate being a writer; NYU/MICHIGAN/USC "WHY I WANT TO TRANSFER" COMMON APP
2 - I think it's powerful to include the obstacles/problems you've faced in life. However, I think you should should limit...
Undergraduatekyaldayialbir - Jan 17, 2013 / waaleg - Jan 19, 2013
|Sweden/Holland, The South, Nowhere ;300 wrds, "Where are you from?" Kenyon
Undergraduatekatev - Jan 15, 2013 / JangGemini - Jan 19, 2013
|Explaining three years gap after high school: Common app additional information essay
Undergraduateindiarules - Jan 17, 2013 / indiarules - Jan 19, 2013
|RRR's IBA program; Motivation letter for applying university.
4 - oh, sorry about that. I forgot to write it. here is more information about motivation letter the motivation letter...
Undergraduatelunarfox - Jan 17, 2013 / lunarfox - Jan 19, 2013
|Outstanding knowledge& skills; Personal Statement for Computer Science Transfer
UndergraduateGeekBarbarian - Jan 15, 2013 / GeekBarbarian - Jan 19, 2013
|Hi, I am from Nepal. Do you know your national game? - common app essay
Undergraduatenepalimussa - Jan 17, 2013 / dumi - Jan 18, 2013
|Courage to grow up to become who I really am; Why transfer to SUNY Geneseo?
3 - I like the opening quote of your essay, and I think you should work it through your entire essay....
Undergraduatespartakfan94 - Jan 17, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jan 18, 2013
|Wisconsin App, Enrich Community, My Community Service
3 - I dont know if its just me but the starting quote seems irrelevant because you dont really address who...
Undergraduatenguyensybach - Jan 16, 2013 / margiem15 - Jan 18, 2013
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