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|My friend, I am truly blessed by having her in my life.
3 - Thank u karmalove.. Appreciate it so much! :) hahaha.. Sorry for making your life miserable. I'm still in high...
Undergraduateedikaraffie - Jan 13, 2013 / edikaraffie - Jan 15, 2013
|SCARED OF PRESENTATIONS; EXPERIENCE - left comfort zone
Undergraduatezdv - Jan 15, 2013 / dumi - Jan 15, 2013
|"Ignorance" - What do you miss most from your childhood? - MHC supp
2 - Although I have travelled to tens of countries and have met thousands of people,and I can detect lies with...
UndergraduateVVCepheiA - Jan 14, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 15, 2013
|Major in Computer Science, local community - Why Lafayette?
3 - I am also applying for lafayette in CS major :D I think it is a generally good essay. However,...
Undergraduatebobesman94 - Jan 12, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 15, 2013
|Gazing @ Stars; Bryn Mawr - Educational Experience
4 - The prompt asks you to tell "What you think you would gain from the educational experience at Bryn Mawr...
Undergraduate0livegreen - Jan 14, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 15, 2013
|I love to develop & design systems ; CUNY - Why degree in Engineering?
Undergraduatemdni007 - Jan 14, 2013 / mdni007 - Jan 15, 2013
|Trimester system/ Environmental Society; What excites you about Union?
Undergraduatethaonguyen1901 - Jan 14, 2013 / thaonguyen1901 - Jan 15, 2013
|The Poet's Inspiration; St. Olaf / Interim Course Design
6 - This is the second edit: (I stand by my opening sentence) What better way to appreciate the words...
Undergraduatewellesleygirl - Jan 15, 2013 / wellesleygirl - Jan 15, 2013
|EDUCATION & PERSONAL GROWTH; OBERLIN SUPP
2 - Ever since my parents brought home our Yamaha grand piano, music began to play an important role in...
Undergraduatetffnycheng - Jan 15, 2013 / dumi - Jan 15, 2013
|Holistic care & Sincere compassion ; Nursing Statement of Purpose - UCLA
Undergraduatesdelicana - Jan 13, 2013 / sdelicana - Jan 15, 2013
|Environment/Architecture/Diversity/Festivals/Film; Why attend LMU?/Why select MA
2 - Several reasons have shaped my rationale as why I deem LMU the perfect match for me. From what I...
UndergraduateM1rellla - Jan 14, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 15, 2013
|Growing Up in Hawaii; Common App - Experience/ diversity
3 - Okay, so basically what I was going for was that living in Hawaii has given me a unique perspective,...
Undergraduatehawaii808 - Jan 14, 2013 / hawaii808 - Jan 14, 2013
|"Guns don't kill people, people kill people"; Suny Common App
6 - I like the way you write. It catches the reader's eye. I wish you had posted the prompt however....
UndergraduateBape95 - Jan 14, 2013 / Pahan - Jan 14, 2013
|Networking / Pacific National Exhibition; Why U Toronto?/Extracurricular activities?
Undergraduatelinadu95 - Jan 13, 2013 / linadu95 - Jan 14, 2013
|College of Arts and Science/accessibility; Unique qualities of EMORY U
4 - I wish to attend Emory's _(good adj)____ College of Arts and Sciences. are the primary reason...
Undergraduatearitasand18 - Jan 14, 2013 / katev - Jan 14, 2013
|"I found my calling in the silence"- an admission essay I'm using for a few colleges
Undergraduatevalerieroseee - Jan 14, 2013 / katev - Jan 14, 2013
|Biculturalism - Common app for Brandeis - Topic of choice
UndergraduateTami Conrad - Jan 12, 2013 / Tami Conrad - Jan 14, 2013
|Shyness and the Germans; Common App- Activity Expansion
4 - I might consider going a couple of different routes in your format and then choose the clearest. You could...
UndergraduateFlargus - Jan 14, 2013 / katev - Jan 14, 2013
|"THE SEARCH FOR MYSELF" COMMUNICATIONS MAJOR TRANSFER ESSAY
2 - It's really good. Perhaps you might want to elaborate on communications and its relevance to you a bit more,...
Undergraduatesherrygirl - Jan 14, 2013 / musicallover223 - Jan 14, 2013
|Road to prosperity; UT transfer -(Personal issue essay) for Radio/Television/Film
3 - Thanks. I really wrote this essay as a addition to my statement of purpose (which I'd also like opinions...
UndergraduateRandomJPG - Jan 14, 2013 / RandomJPG - Jan 14, 2013
|Not giving up; JMU Personal Statement
3 - I'd recommend getting rid of all the be verbs you can but aside from that it's pretty solid so...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Jan 13, 2013 / RandomJPG - Jan 14, 2013
|'clinical research facilities' - Personal Statement
4 - I know this is usually not recommended but I like to think of a very general thesis statement first,...
Undergraduatetwizzlestraw - Jan 5, 2012 / RandomJPG - Jan 14, 2013
|Beautiful/ Gym classes/ History/ Alumni/ Liberal Arts curriculum; Why Lewis & Clark ?
4 - Can you make a suggestion? I want to leave in the last sentence because that is the school's motto....
UndergraduateATesch - Jan 14, 2013 / ATesch - Jan 14, 2013
|Eric Thomas, "The Hip-Hop Preacher"; COMMON APPPerson made an impact
UndergraduateBren1995 - Jan 14, 2013 / bgerner78 - Jan 14, 2013
|VOLUNTEERING EXPERIENCE; Gates Millennium- Involvement/ Contributions to Community
UndergraduateNicoleO - Jan 14, 2013 / NicoleO - Jan 14, 2013
|Contribution to Petroleum-based economy/I'm a geek;U Southern California(Engineering)
UndergraduateDabbagh - Jan 10, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 14, 2013
|Girls go to College to get more Knowledge, Boys go to Jupiter; Why Wellesley College?
2 - Hi I'm just a beginner, but I'd like to share my limited knowledge with others. aritasand18 I...
Undergraduatearitasand18 - Jan 14, 2013 / monaph - Jan 14, 2013
|"Love at First Sight" : Why Colorado College?
5 - Would anybody be willing to check the second draft? (Sorry for Triple-posting, if there's a rule against that.)...
UndergraduateFlargus - Jan 14, 2013 / Flargus - Jan 14, 2013
|Trust; Stanford Supplement - What Matters to You, and Why?
5 - This is my 2nd draft. Let me know if you have any more suggestions. I really would appreciate it....
Undergraduatemaranicoled - Jan 8, 2013 / maranicoled - Jan 14, 2013
|Program range/ exchange student experience; Why Reed ?
3 - I really liked the essay. It is intimate and it shows how ambitious you are about studying and how...
UndergraduateParahat95 - Jan 7, 2013 / gencounselor - Jan 14, 2013
|CHANGING SCHOOLS; U of Richmond/Stepping out of Comfort Zone
2 - Well... your prompt wants you to talk about an experience that you had to leave your comfort zone....
UndergraduateCrowcrow - Jan 14, 2013 / dumi - Jan 14, 2013
|City/ People/ Diversity/ Homeliness/ Unity/ Resources; Seattle U - GOOD MATCH?
Undergraduatehtn2013 - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 14, 2013
|My younger sister; Villanova Community; Lesson & Experience
Undergraduatethaonguyen1901 - Jan 14, 2013 / dumi - Jan 14, 2013
|"IMAGINE" ; Smith College - A theme song that describes you best
5 - Thanks for your advice!! Ahhh.. About "topic of my choice", I think I expressed it in a wrong way...
UndergraduateVVCepheiA - Jan 13, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 14, 2013
|I want a school where I can be myself; Why Reed?
Undergraduatejjjjulia - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 14, 2013
|BREAKING POINT; Loyola Marymount Sup: Situation in which you used critical thinking
Undergraduatejenarevalo15 - Jan 11, 2013 / NicoleO - Jan 14, 2013
|I was born Mohammad Zaid; Essay on MYSELF
5 - Is there a prompt or anything to this? Because if there is, It's not Many of the thoughts don't...
UndergraduateXaid - Jan 13, 2013 / Flargus - Jan 14, 2013
|Let's save earth from pollution; UK universities personal statement
Undergraduateomeirx - Jan 14, 2013 / dumi - Jan 14, 2013
|LAWYER/ Committment to the HUMANITIES/ LOCATION; Seattle U- Good match?
Undergraduatejwfathal - Jan 14, 2013 / jwfathal - Jan 14, 2013
|History of Science Fiction; Colorado C- Intellectual Adventure
UndergraduateFlargus - Jan 14, 2013 / Flargus - Jan 14, 2013
|Gender equality/ community/ academic opportunities; Why Wellesley?
6 - The essay should be attached. My essay for Gates Millennium Scholarship is also due in 2 days. Please...
Undergraduateblanchedehors - Jan 14, 2013 / NicoleO - Jan 14, 2013
|Hall of fame by "The Script"; SMITH - Theme song that describes me
Undergraduatemmgay - Jan 14, 2013 / mmgay - Jan 14, 2013
|"Hello Class" Foreign exchange/ international student experience/ Activity essay
5 - ĺĽ˝ĺžïźVery well written. I agree that the "Fluent in Chinese and English" part doesn't fit right, and maybe...
Undergraduateelina855 - Dec 18, 2012 / Flargus - Jan 14, 2013
|Education increases the ability of our mind; Virginia Tech PS/ QUOTATION
2 - Why do you repeat this statement in your answer? It consumes lots of words that you could have...
Undergraduatekels0091 - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Small size/ Community/ Learning Opportunities/Safety/ Movies; Why Denison?
3 - Try and avoid repetition of ideas. Also you can combine a few ideas into one. For example, size+ family...
Undergraduatekatev - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Real Human Being; USF Nursing- Carry out University mission
Undergraduatekeleigh24 - Jan 12, 2013 / etrane7 - Jan 13, 2013
|I am a Sponge - USC (Motto - "Let whoever earns the palm bear it")
UndergraduateLollifroll - Jan 10, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|My Guitar; Common App-"extracurricular activities or work"
Undergraduatejenarevalo15 - Jan 11, 2013 / lexyliu1209 - Jan 13, 2013
|Bridge hanging between Western and Eastern culture; Why Brandeis?
Undergraduatekarentu0315 - Jan 11, 2013 / karentu0315 - Jan 13, 2013
|"You can't play Basketball" ; UNFAIR EXPERIENCE IN LIFE
6 - Ok thanks for your comments. I think im just going change the entire essay because it Im having too...
Undergraduatexphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013 / xphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013
|Counting down the days for my BIRTHDAY; UVA / Favorite WORD
3 - I really enjoyed the flow of your essay especially the rhetorical questions that you used to provide a transition...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / tomcruisin444 - Jan 13, 2013
|Member of Tiger Woods Learning Center; Gates Millennium: Community Involvement
UndergraduateRez03 - Jan 13, 2013 / xphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013
|Track and Field; Extracurricular Common App Portion.
Undergraduatenicolettec18 - Jan 12, 2013 / jenarevalo15 - Jan 13, 2013
|Anti-Bullying Club; George Mason and Virginia Tech
5 - Thanks for looking at my essay! You have a solid idea of what happened..but try to say HOW it...
Undergraduatekarmalove - Jan 12, 2013 / valeriadavila01 - Jan 13, 2013
|Freedom/Research/Open-minded student body; WHY Brown? (Transfer-Science Major)
NEW - I messed around in high school and did poorly, now I am at a mediocre institution with a 3.8,...
Undergraduatejpsmyth - Jan 13, 2013 / — -
|Engineering is a macrocosm of innovation and development; USC APP
2 - I think you could do without the "practically everything in today's society is at least indirectly benefited from engineering"....
UndergraduateJMitchell159 - Jan 10, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 13, 2013
|Striving to gain KNOWLEDGE ; Mac Health Science - Meaning of "Well Educated"?
Undergraduatechivdapavda - Jan 13, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Divorce, the seven letter word; Sophie Davis - Major domestic problem
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Jan 12, 2013 / komalshaheen19 - Jan 13, 2013
|Exchange student Experience/ Location/ Student Voluntary activities: Why CC/ attend?
5 - I am little worried about the fact that I would fall into the category of 80percent people talking only...
UndergraduateMisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013 / MisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013
|Taste of Victory; COMMON APP- Personal Essay
6 - I would also avoid using eventually three times in the same paragraph - that kind of strikes my eye......
Undergraduateaazev1995 - Jan 13, 2013 / MisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013
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