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|Gender equality/ community/ academic opportunities; Why Wellesley?
6 - The essay should be attached. My essay for Gates Millennium Scholarship is also due in 2 days. Please...
Undergraduateblanchedehors - Jan 14, 2013 / NicoleO - Jan 14, 2013
|Hall of fame by "The Script"; SMITH - Theme song that describes me
Undergraduatemmgay - Jan 14, 2013 / mmgay - Jan 14, 2013
|"Hello Class" Foreign exchange/ international student experience/ Activity essay
5 - ĺĽ˝ĺžïźVery well written. I agree that the "Fluent in Chinese and English" part doesn't fit right, and maybe...
Undergraduateelina855 - Dec 18, 2012 / Flargus - Jan 14, 2013
|Education increases the ability of our mind; Virginia Tech PS/ QUOTATION
2 - Why do you repeat this statement in your answer? It consumes lots of words that you could have...
Undergraduatekels0091 - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Small size/ Community/ Learning Opportunities/Safety/ Movies; Why Denison?
3 - Try and avoid repetition of ideas. Also you can combine a few ideas into one. For example, size+ family...
Undergraduatekatev - Jan 13, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Real Human Being; USF Nursing- Carry out University mission
Undergraduatekeleigh24 - Jan 12, 2013 / etrane7 - Jan 13, 2013
|I am a Sponge - USC (Motto - "Let whoever earns the palm bear it")
UndergraduateLollifroll - Jan 10, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|My Guitar; Common App-"extracurricular activities or work"
Undergraduatejenarevalo15 - Jan 11, 2013 / lexyliu1209 - Jan 13, 2013
|Bridge hanging between Western and Eastern culture; Why Brandeis?
Undergraduatekarentu0315 - Jan 11, 2013 / karentu0315 - Jan 13, 2013
|"You can't play Basketball" ; UNFAIR EXPERIENCE IN LIFE
6 - Ok thanks for your comments. I think im just going change the entire essay because it Im having too...
Undergraduatexphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013 / xphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013
|Counting down the days for my BIRTHDAY; UVA / Favorite WORD
3 - I really enjoyed the flow of your essay especially the rhetorical questions that you used to provide a transition...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / tomcruisin444 - Jan 13, 2013
|Member of Tiger Woods Learning Center; Gates Millennium: Community Involvement
UndergraduateRez03 - Jan 13, 2013 / xphyllisx - Jan 13, 2013
|Track and Field; Extracurricular Common App Portion.
Undergraduatenicolettec18 - Jan 12, 2013 / jenarevalo15 - Jan 13, 2013
|Anti-Bullying Club; George Mason and Virginia Tech
5 - Thanks for looking at my essay! You have a solid idea of what happened..but try to say HOW it...
Undergraduatekarmalove - Jan 12, 2013 / valeriadavila01 - Jan 13, 2013
|Freedom/Research/Open-minded student body; WHY Brown? (Transfer-Science Major)
NEW - I messed around in high school and did poorly, now I am at a mediocre institution with a 3.8,...
Undergraduatejpsmyth - Jan 13, 2013 / — -
|Engineering is a macrocosm of innovation and development; USC APP
2 - I think you could do without the "practically everything in today's society is at least indirectly benefited from engineering"....
UndergraduateJMitchell159 - Jan 10, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 13, 2013
|Striving to gain KNOWLEDGE ; Mac Health Science - Meaning of "Well Educated"?
Undergraduatechivdapavda - Jan 13, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Divorce, the seven letter word; Sophie Davis - Major domestic problem
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Jan 12, 2013 / komalshaheen19 - Jan 13, 2013
|Exchange student Experience/ Location/ Student Voluntary activities: Why CC/ attend?
5 - I am little worried about the fact that I would fall into the category of 80percent people talking only...
UndergraduateMisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013 / MisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013
|Taste of Victory; COMMON APP- Personal Essay
6 - I would also avoid using eventually three times in the same paragraph - that kind of strikes my eye......
Undergraduateaazev1995 - Jan 13, 2013 / MisuleCZE - Jan 13, 2013
|"But why not?"; Lafayette supplement - Why not?MOMENT
3 - I think the topic would sound more interesting if you introduced the purpose of the test you were taking...
Undergraduateintlstudent94 - Jan 13, 2013 / Jennyflower81 - Jan 13, 2013
|Dedication/Good Communication; Haverford Honor Code/ CONDITIONS-academic&non academic
Undergraduatedana1127 - Jan 13, 2013 / dana1127 - Jan 13, 2013
|Math&Finance programs/Asian Bilingual Debate; U Michigan-Unique qualities/ Community
2 - I have breezed the fresh air and climbed the skyscrapers in the most developed cities like Shanghai, Toronto, and...
Undergraduatelexyliu1209 - Jan 13, 2013 / Jennyflower81 - Jan 13, 2013
|Why Swarthmore? - my interpretation of the topic based on different personas
3 - I am just curious as to if Swarthmore will relate this essay to my Common App essays. The hospital...
UndergraduateOkGo7 - Jan 13, 2013 / OkGo7 - Jan 13, 2013
|breathtaking landscape/ Diversity/ Easy transition/ Hokie/ Clubs; Why Virginia Tech?
Undergraduatekarmalove - Jan 13, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jan 13, 2013
|Canadian idol; VT Common App -Best day of my life?
6 - Honestly, I liked your essay! I think it stands out uniquely and you wrote what YOU thought was YOUR...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Jan 12, 2013 / karmalove - Jan 13, 2013
|Want to advance my knowledge; Motivation letter - Computer sciences faculty in Norway
Undergraduatesofiagvaladze - Jan 11, 2013 / dumi - Jan 13, 2013
|Business & Social networks; PS-UMN Carlson (Management)
2 - Honestly speaking~~ it seems to me that you already got a solid essay~~~I don't see the reason why you...
Undergraduateffan11 - Jan 11, 2013 / lexyliu1209 - Jan 13, 2013
|CROSS CULTURAL EXPERIENCE; Brandeis International Business School(Int Econ&Finance)
NEW - I am applying for Brandeis International Business School, program of international Economics and Finance. Here is one essay of...
Undergraduateptlove4ever - Jan 13, 2013 / — -
|How Doctor Who influenced me; COMMON APP/ Character in fiction
NEW - so i really really need help with my essay. Can you please looks over my essay for the common...
Undergraduatecaitmarie - Jan 12, 2013 / — -
|Greek mythology ; COMMON APP - What fascinates me!
UndergraduateIskander - Jan 11, 2013 / y2kendoll - Jan 12, 2013
|CULTURAL HISTORY; Denison - Personal experience with diversity
2 - Update: 716 characters (not including possible additional sentence) My cultural background is not very prevalent. In fact, making my...
Undergraduatekatev - Jan 12, 2013 / katev - Jan 12, 2013
|Rummaging through Photos and falling sky; World I come from
2 - The first essay does a good job at detailing your background, but it does not discuss your dreams and...
Undergraduatesephyleader - Jan 12, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 12, 2013
|I was chosen as the leader of my team; COMMON APP - Challenging moment
Undergraduatemakeit2013 - Jan 12, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jan 12, 2013
|College experience and becoming an Eagle; Emory Transfer Student
Undergraduatenicolettec18 - Jan 12, 2013 / — -
|'Peer Advocate' - (Applying to Emory and UM as a Transfer Student)
5 - I go to University of Miami and I think that one thing this school really appreciates is diversity and...
UndergraduateAshley3291 - Jan 1, 2013 / nicolettec18 - Jan 12, 2013
|Combining ability to design and build structures; Ryerson U- Why Architctual science?
2 - I think you need to write less about your education, which they will already know about looking at your...
Undergraduatealvinoswim - Jan 12, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jan 12, 2013
|Milestone for our company; Business Management and Marketing- UK Personal Statement
5 - Colin Powell once said: "There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and...
Undergraduateveronica100 - Jan 8, 2013 / veronica100 - Jan 12, 2013
|Religion, the watchful protector along the path; Harvard/ Topic of Choice
21 - Well, I was just being honest with what I felt. Instead of asking others to comment your essay and...
Undergraduatedwangus - Jan 8, 2013 / Ariel421 - Jan 12, 2013
|Guilt; Union College - What frightens you?
3 - Thanks for your reply, it helps! Actually, "a very strong sense of ethics" is part of what I want...
UndergraduateVVCepheiA - Jan 11, 2013 / VVCepheiA - Jan 12, 2013
|Carleton community/ Rich education/ Access to professors; WHY CARLETON?
3 - Indeed, I should be more specific. I was very broad. Thank you for that input, I will work on...
Undergraduatespongiee - Jan 11, 2013 / spongiee - Jan 11, 2013
|Public speaking/ California; Moment of success/ Neighborhood
3 - Unfortunately, the universe has a funny habit of conspiring against the desires of most people....
UndergraduateAquile - Jan 11, 2013 / thestarfus - Jan 11, 2013
|Irrational exuberance in metropolis; UW-MADISON - Something went unnoticed
2 - I got that you are a very observant, conscientious, and compassionate person. I would like some more past and...
Undergraduatehtg100 - Jan 11, 2013 / Didgeridoo - Jan 11, 2013
|Biofuel Research Program/ Metro Magic Lacrosse;Common App- Summer Activity(2 options)
3 - I like the second one better because it shows the passion you have for lacrosse. I think that the...
Undergraduatejmg - Jan 10, 2013 / jenarevalo15 - Jan 11, 2013
|Cultural barriers/ Forming friendships; LOYOLA MARYMOUNT/ Critical Thinking
4 - We're doing the same prompt! :) While your story is definitely captivating and is sure to grab the reader's...
Undergraduatecarolynxpark - Jan 4, 2013 / jenarevalo15 - Jan 11, 2013
|Ambition to learn and ability to adapt and persevere - How I enrich CU community
3 - thanks!!...
UndergraduateAlizej17 - Jan 11, 2013 / Alizej17 - Jan 11, 2013
|"I aspire to become a pediatric nurse"UCLA Nursing Statement of Purpose
3 - Yeah, i figured. It's only halfway done, so I haven't gotten to most of the questions yet. Thanks for...
Undergraduatesdelicana - Jan 11, 2013 / sdelicana - Jan 11, 2013
|Why Reed; My high school experience and how it shaped my interest in Reed
2 - Definitely needs a stronger first sentence, do not start with Being From that moment forward there was only...
Undergraduatezdoogy - Jan 11, 2013 / manjot - Jan 11, 2013
|I am the girl with the curly hair ; COMMON APP - About Myself
6 - Describe your hair at the start of the essay, adds context to it , There is no specific characteristic...
Undergraduatekarita7alicia - Jan 10, 2013 / manjot - Jan 11, 2013
|I believe in art/ YALE / Something you need to tell us
5 - They want to know more about you, so the second one explains that best. I like the first one,...
Undergraduatemercedes1923 - Dec 29, 2012 / sdelicana - Jan 11, 2013
|History, and mathematics have captured me and never let goCornell sup
10 - I think so. Maybe change your second to last sentence to something like this... "At USC, I plan to...
Undergraduateabulkhair37 - Dec 25, 2012 / Lollifroll - Jan 10, 2013
|Football/Asian/High School experience; Georgia Tech- Roommate letter
4 - I did take that into consideration when suggested. Did not know how much to add. I was told there...
Undergraduateitsfoo24 - Jan 6, 2013 / itsfoo24 - Jan 10, 2013
|Completely different college; Boston University Transfer
Undergraduatebrie270 - Jan 10, 2013 / JMitchell159 - Jan 10, 2013
|Egypt and diversity;Colgate Community - beyond scholastic and extracurricular
5 - In my opinion you could change the quote into : In order to broaden my perspectives I started to...
Undergraduatesoso96 - Jan 10, 2013 / abulkhair37 - Jan 10, 2013
|Singing/Caring for grandma; GEORGETOWN - Me & Experience
4 - Your second essay is amazing!! The first paragraph really draws you in, and makes me want to admit you,...
Undergraduatesamanthaaaj - Jan 10, 2013 / jmg - Jan 10, 2013
|Resources/Academics/Environment ; UNC - My reasons for TRANSFER
2 - I don't know what your talking about about being a bad writer! Your writing is very good, and overall...
Undergraduatedajenki3 - Jan 10, 2013 / jmg - Jan 10, 2013
|Innovative products/ Nerd; USC(Engineering)- Benefit society?/ GEEK or NERD?
Undergraduaterocksolid93 - Jan 10, 2013 / admission2012 - Jan 10, 2013
|In all of my life, I had never ridden a bike; Roommate Letter
2 - Wow... for a last minute essay. I believe you gave plenty of insight into what you can accomplish and...
Undergraduatejohnsonjazism - Jan 10, 2013 / y2kendoll - Jan 10, 2013
|Shadowing Ogechi/ Rating/Opportunities; How you learned about NJIT & Why applying?
2 - Hello, So you participated in upward bound---a very good program. This program really helps high school students learn...
Undergraduatejeshuaekwe - Jan 10, 2013 / admission2012 - Jan 10, 2013
|Hospital intern in research lab; Extracurricular/ work experiences
3 - As I stepped into the doctor's office I was filled with anxiety, yet completely eager. All throughout my life...
Undergraduatejpsmyth - Jan 10, 2013 / jpsmyth - Jan 10, 2013
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