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|Commercial whaling; Texas - Issue of Importance
2 - Decent essay. Eliminate the irrelevant dolphin example. The promt asks for an issue that's important to you, you...
Undergraduatenaomiesterm - Jan 7, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 7, 2013
|Presence of cultural diversity in the US; Global UGRAD Program / Why study in the US?
2 - -At first I recommend you to shorten your essay to 500-600 words. Your writing is more than 700 words...
UndergraduateTurbina - Jan 7, 2013 / thaonguyen1901 - Jan 7, 2013
|My father gave me strenght and confidence; My Biggest Influence
3 - I feel like you should incorporate how your father impacted you and how you used the impact in your...
Undergraduatecinderss - Jan 7, 2013 / naomiesterm - Jan 7, 2013
|Senior Curricular Support program ; UNC - What changed mind?
UndergraduateOrcadianDander - Jan 7, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 7, 2013
|"My Biggest Cheerleader - My Father"; Common App - Person who made an impact
4 - So here I have added more. If you have time can you help? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Lights flicker...
Undergraduatenaomiesterm - Jan 1, 2013 / naomiesterm - Jan 7, 2013
|Multiculturalism/ Colgate Community/ What I hope to learn?
3 - Very nice essay, you're such a unique applicant. If you want to improve the relationship between your paragraphs you...
Undergraduatenightowl - Jan 7, 2013 / OrcadianDander - Jan 7, 2013
|Family's impact on my education/ Common App
5 - I think its pretty damn perfect tbh. You tie everything in very neatly (your family, your Mexican background, your...
UndergraduateQuinchonez - Dec 21, 2012 / OrcadianDander - Jan 7, 2013
|Constraints/ Help family/ People skills; COMMON APP - Financing/ Major/ Life goals
5 - Thank you very much again! It is tough since I've been like 10 months here, and that's the time...
Undergraduatejorgearmando18 - Jan 7, 2013 / jorgearmando18 - Jan 7, 2013
|City life/ Architecture/ Diverse culture; How UChicago satisfy my desires
5 - you need more talk more about yourself and why they should accept you there and also about the art...
Undergraduatemercedes1923 - Jan 7, 2013 / Quinchonez - Jan 7, 2013
|Grilled Cheese; UNC Chapel Hill- My comfort food
Undergraduatebubblegum101 - Jan 7, 2013 / OrcadianDander - Jan 7, 2013
|My grandpa emigrated from Colombia to the USA; Influential Person
Undergraduatemarcuj4 - Dec 28, 2012 / marcuj4 - Jan 7, 2013
|Social stigma/ YKNOT ; UNC / IMPORTANT PROBLEM I TRY TO SOLVE
6 - YKNOT is an equal-opportunities program for kids with mental disabilities. It doesn't stand for anything so I can't elaborate...
Undergraduatemayfl0wer - Jan 6, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 7, 2013
|Volunteering in a memorial hall; COMMON APP/ Significant Experience
Undergraduateqewrerqw - Jan 7, 2013 / Jennyflower81 - Jan 7, 2013
|I always had a great desire to live and study abroad: AUBG essay
6 - Hey , try correcting all the errors and dont use that much informal writing . Keep it formal and...
Undergraduatemerlin - Dec 11, 2012 / ttihomirov - Jan 7, 2013
|Uzbekistan/my jokes/ hobbies/ hospitability ;UGRAD, A letter to roommate.
4 - Thank you for ur additions and corrections. I appreciate it. hope I will get this scholarship, and meet you...
UndergraduateShifu123 - Jan 6, 2013 / Shifu123 - Jan 7, 2013
|Children of the roadside stands/ Common App
Undergraduateeng_geek - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 7, 2013
|Internship as a customer service representative; Leadership experience
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013 / Arun0506 - Jan 7, 2013
|Technological Studies; United World College/ Most interesting subject
UndergraduatePrincepieman - Jan 6, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 7, 2013
|Social gap between African people; Personal/local/national/international concern
Undergraduateleslieaf - Jan 7, 2013 / Parahat95 - Jan 7, 2013
|My Father, My Hero - Personal Essay
7 - great essay it reveal that you have really close relationship with you dad and makes your essay more personal...
Undergraduatecinderss - Dec 1, 2012 / Parahat95 - Jan 7, 2013
|Villanova Supplement: What Lesson Would You Teach?
Undergraduateethannov - Jan 7, 2013 / Essayman465678 - Jan 7, 2013
|Message in drift bottle-UNC at Chapel Hill
Undergraduateyisha - Jan 6, 2013 / yisha - Jan 7, 2013
|Broader study exposure; WHY DO WANT TO TRANSFER TO UC?
5 - Everyones already given you enough advice however I think the conclusion could still use some work. Its good what...
Undergraduatekabal - Jan 6, 2013 / fsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013
|Harry Potter and the Acts of Folly
UndergraduateKitsumi - Jan 6, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 6, 2013
|The patients are my motivation ; PERSONAL STATEMENT/ nursing transfer
Undergraduatetinkr1 - Jan 6, 2013 / jorgearmando18 - Jan 6, 2013
|Victim of cyber-bullying; BOSTON/ Heard or experienced for the first time
5 - Nice work. I think you failed to show about how your perception of that event changed you. You could...
Undergraduatesamanthaaaj - Jan 5, 2013 / kabal - Jan 6, 2013
|Inspire/ Entertain/ Enlighten; UNC - Message in a bottle
3 - Whether you find this message floating in the middle of the Pacific ocean, or even if you find it...
Undergraduatesaaamigr - Jan 6, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 6, 2013
|The fear of speaking the English language in America
2 - This has since become the philosophy I embrace as well as the type of individual I admire and aspire...
Undergraduateexo101 - Jan 6, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 6, 2013
|How being Brazilian has given me a different perspective
5 - As the van jiggled atop the unpaved, rocky streets COMMA I embraced the beautiful scenery. ^Jiggled is a...
Undergraduatelilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 6, 2013
|I will be the first member in my family to graduate ; Common App-My family background
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013 / alexjan95 - Jan 6, 2013
|BEAUTY/ GENETICS MAJOR; Why Duke?
Undergraduatezdv - Jan 6, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 6, 2013
|liberal arts and gainsbourg / Union College Supplements
2 - galleries in every conrner the second response is absolutely great. However, I think the first response lacks specificity. i...
Undergraduate0livegreen - Jan 6, 2013 / zdv - Jan 6, 2013
|Foolish means lacking in sense, judgement and/or discretion; What is an act of folly?
UndergraduateKitsumi - Jan 4, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 6, 2013
|Graduate/Aerospace engineer ; Short &Long-term GOALS
NEW - My first and most important short term goal is to graduate from high school and attend a four year...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013 / — -
|Average intellectual ability/Denial -AP Calculus;CommonAp/Situation-treated unfairly
2 - Wow this is a profound essay... one thing though the last question isn't answered other than that its great...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013 / lexilex1995 - Jan 6, 2013
|French and United States History ; Which you have had difficulty/ What factors?
3 - Thank you so much. And I agree those sentences are a little lengthy. I would be happy to help...
Undergraduatefsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013 / fsolano94 - Jan 6, 2013
|My mom has had a huge impact on my life; Someone who had impact on me
UndergraduateTexasGirl2013 - Dec 30, 2012 / Dr Seus - Jan 6, 2013
|Request for a review; Extenuating Circumstances/ U Toronto
NEW - Hi guys, can someone help me proof read my letter of extenuating circumstances which i need to send in...
UndergraduateMCFesh - Jan 6, 2013 / — -
|My Love - Soccer Commonapp Short answer Question
Undergraduateayushgp - Jan 6, 2013 / chocolateshoppe - Jan 6, 2013
|'Born in India' - Duke COMMONAPP: Why I want to be an Engineer
4 - Being born in India to parents with purely business-related occupations, I used to believe business was my ultimate fortune;...
Undergraduatesushipanda - Jan 6, 2013 / Th25cc - Jan 6, 2013
|Values / Commitment to the community service; SWARTHMORE App/ Why Swarthmore?
4 - PLEASE HELP HELP HELP with theme "Please describe your idea of a Global Citizen? What are the qualities that...
Undergraduatebassamk90 - Dec 26, 2012 / Lord_Rustem - Jan 6, 2013
|Prospective candidate ; Motivation Letter to Erasmus Mundus
NEW - Guys, I made a last minute decision to apply for the program. If there's any of you who are...
Undergraduatealdobado - Jan 6, 2013 / — -
|My nervous mind became filled with doubt and caused me to take an extra dribble
UndergraduateJardiles - Dec 30, 2012 / Jardiles - Jan 6, 2013
|Video Games / Game Programming logic; Common App - Significant experience
6 - ayushgp you do not have to leave this experience and write a whole new essay.. Just expand it as...
Undergraduateayushgp - Jan 6, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 6, 2013
|Electric & Sporadic/ Bed time stories;Common App - Reading Habits&Experience/ Books
Undergraduatelilyraquel52 - Dec 31, 2012 / lexilex1995 - Jan 6, 2013
|I had finished the first episode of my life; SOP
5 - I feel that you have the writing skills required to craft a spectacular essay. However, you need to focus...
Undergraduatevtandon2 - Dec 29, 2012 / Th25cc - Jan 6, 2013
|Chemistry major/LSA curriculum ; Unique qualities @UMichigan
2 - You can just say you like chemistry in one sentence, instead of telling them a story that doesn't really...
Undergraduategmichski - Jan 5, 2013 / icanfly1 - Jan 6, 2013
|Are all lawyers swindlers? / A&M ; SOP
5 - If I remember correctly, it just wants plain text format so I'm not sure we actually can double space......
Undergraduateshanwe - Jan 4, 2013 / shanwe - Jan 5, 2013
|importance of first impressions - knowledge gained outside school
3 - They huddle outside the doors, congregating in the same groups they have maintained for three years now and seeking...
Undergraduatelornam - Jan 5, 2013 / chocolateshoppe - Jan 5, 2013
|A PERMANENT MARK; COMMON APP/Significant experience
3 - the comma is unnecessary glaringly conspicuous would work better, I think. Also, substitute a comma for...
Undergraduatesushipanda - Jan 5, 2013 / chocolateshoppe - Jan 5, 2013
|Bring my culture into the diverse student body ; Pepperdine U/ Contribute to mission
Undergraduatemaria901 - Jan 5, 2013 / sobegreentea972 - Jan 5, 2013
|Best Buddies; Common App/ Extracurricular
10 - I can see a remarkable improvement from the first draft you did. I also appreciate your great effort to...
UndergraduateChelseaSmart13 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 5, 2013
|Interview/Top-ranked curriculum/ Q&A sessions ; Why Georgia Tech?Contribute?
2 - I think the college will like how you have actually spoken with alumni! I would take out how the...
UndergraduateNicolesss - Jan 5, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
|UAV-Unmanned Aerial Vehicles; My project @ UNION
14 - I would write a more interesting and captivating first sentence to get your readers attention. This essay seems to...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Jan 3, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
|Research changes lives; Common App - Independent Scientific Research
4 - I love the first paragraph, its very well written! I think it is extremely well written now! You tell...
Undergraduateabrownie - Jan 5, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
|SCIENCE & LANGUAGE ARTS; Subjects in which you have had difficulty
2 - notes and advice: -write a more catchy first sentence -the first sentence you have now is obvious and unnecessary...
Undergraduatelexilex1995 - Jan 4, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
|Bullying victim/Bunkmate/Sincere&Compassionate; Common app/Person who influenced
2 - notes and advice: -i think you could use a more catchy first sentence to really grab the readers -the...
Undergraduatebshifatu - Jan 5, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
|Adventure-Seekers/Best Crowds/ Lives inside us & Everywhere; UChicago;Where's WALDO?
Undergraduatenathtoledo - Jan 4, 2013 / gmichski - Jan 5, 2013
|Doctor Who; COMMON APP/ Act of folly
6 - I love this! Not really great on correcting grammar so I won't try. But your essay did a wonderful...
Undergraduatechocolateshoppe - Jan 5, 2013 / paigeevaa - Jan 5, 2013
|PROBLEM WITH SPEAKING ENGLISH; Education interruption essay [Commonapp application]
3 - notes on what you could change to improve: -more of an introduction, your first sentence kind of just threw...
Undergraduategchiara13 - Jan 5, 2013 / lilyraquel52 - Jan 5, 2013
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