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|I am defined by my characteristics, beliefs, and perspective; McMaster; BHSC
2 - Another Mac applicant! :D I agree with ParceledTongue, you can omit the "I believe" at the beginning. ...
UndergraduateJoshua_was_here - Jan 1, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 2, 2013
|'...since Facebook is blocked in China' - Chicago Short answer #2 Danza Kuduro!
3 - Your title is slightly misleading, since it makes me assume it's something about the Great Firewall of China, and...
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Jan 2, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 2, 2013
|Insecurity, Fear, Jealousy - UChicago / HUMAN CONFLICTS
Undergraduateabulkhair37 - Jan 2, 2013 / Kitsumi - Jan 2, 2013
|What Waldo represents; UChicago- So where is Waldo really?
3 - Man, that is amazing. Perhaps you could have a smoother transition from your childhood experience into 'what is Waldo...
UndergraduateRozn - Jan 2, 2013 / Kouteri - Jan 2, 2013
|The air was warm, the sky was clear; UCHICAGO EXTENDED ESSAY
NEW - I finally managed to complete a version of this essay that I actually liked. This was by far the...
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Jan 2, 2013 / — -
|Biochemistry/ Molecular Biology/French/History/Art/Architecture; BrownPLME- My FIELDS
Undergraduatebpi1092 - Jan 2, 2013 / bpi1092 - Jan 2, 2013
|Small class size/ excellent academics / networking/ future careers; WHY UCHICAGO?
4 - Thanks to everybody for their replies, I will help you with your essays as soon as i'm done with...
Undergraduateabulkhair37 - Jan 2, 2013 / abulkhair37 - Jan 2, 2013
|C for BIOLOGY; George Washingon / Risk I took,failed & what I learned
Undergraduatemystictiger - Dec 24, 2012 / Wisconsingirl94 - Jan 2, 2013
|Gain readiness/Brighter future- CARE SBP/ Educational goals
NEW - CARE Summer Bridge Program Essay The CARE Application Essay: How can CARE assist you with your educational goals...
UndergraduateMariettaA - Jan 2, 2013 / — -
|'Use of fear' - University Application Essay - Significant Challenge
4 - "I became uncertain with whether or not I wanted to continue through." how about "uncertainty loomed" good...
Undergraduate13579e - Jan 2, 2013 / MH31595 - Jan 2, 2013
|ECONOMICS/ Liberal arts/ History/ Philoshophy; WHY MAJOR?
Undergraduaterachely - Jan 2, 2013 / sogoldman - Jan 2, 2013
|Youth conservatory program ; COMMON APP ACTIVITY
UndergraduateG1212 - Jan 1, 2013 / bpi1092 - Jan 2, 2013
|'Africa's underdeveloped country' - Pitzer Supplement
2 - What is Pitzer? I am asking because I am curious of the degree of formality needed for the essay,...
Undergraduatebryetkd - Jan 1, 2013 / WakaDHaka - Jan 2, 2013
|Brad's music/humor & pop/ creative approaches; Internship/What I'd bring and take
2 - What does (you're talking about two people - Brad Paisley and yourself, so you should use "do" instead) Brad...
Undergraduateckpckp1994 - Jan 2, 2013 / lornam - Jan 2, 2013
|Going away to school frightens me; Harvey Mudd Essay / One thing
Undergraduatejakk1994 - Jan 1, 2013 / jakk1994 - Jan 2, 2013
|Biomedical Engineering, Natural Course of Action After Diagnosis
3 - His genetic disease is extremely rare a mutation that is incurable. Although his cancer had not yet progressed very...
Undergraduatelalenaskye - Jan 2, 2013 / Ahndrahdee - Jan 2, 2013
|I chose to tell the truth; CAL TECH/ Ethical Dilemma
2 - Interesting... It's pretty risky to say "I almost lied to you, but I didn't." For some reason I feel...
UndergraduateTaset - Jan 2, 2013 / katev - Jan 2, 2013
|At Brown I will take all decisions by myself about my studies / Being the architect
Undergraduatejs65438 - Jan 2, 2013 / katev - Jan 2, 2013
|America had blacs with a few white people; Brown Common App
UndergraduateCMB19932015 - Jan 2, 2013 / lalenaskye - Jan 2, 2013
|Photoshopped/ Caltech Humor essay
3 - The last story with the audio seemed out of place-awkwardness. Maybe you can take that section out and wrap-up...
UndergraduateTardisk - Jan 2, 2013 / js65438 - Jan 2, 2013
|Guarding humanity; Brown Supplement; PLME is a good fit
Undergraduatebpi1092 - Jan 2, 2013 / jakk1994 - Jan 2, 2013
|My most influential person and the best friend is my mother
2 - The most influential person in my life is my mother. She taught me how to continue loving through the...
UndergraduateJhinojosa24 - Jan 2, 2013 / lalenaskye - Jan 2, 2013
|'The Reunion' - Common app essay
4 - Try going through and highlighting all the adjectives and adverbs, especially in the first couple of paragraphs, then see...
UndergraduateParceledTongue - Jan 2, 2013 / ameliam13 - Jan 2, 2013
|'relevancy of economics' - Cornell Supplement Economics
6 - I made some corrections but I saw that they were all made by strwrsfn0013. Other than that I couldn't...
Undergraduatealicederp - Jan 2, 2013 / CTHIMENYOR - Jan 2, 2013
|ICS program is one of a kind / Duke Sup/ Duke attractions
13 - Overall this is a good essay. Red grammar problem Blue marking are things that I think the essay would...
Undergraduatemayfl0wer - Dec 29, 2012 / CTHIMENYOR - Jan 2, 2013
|Intellectual individuality/open curriculum ; Brown /Architect of your education
3 - What about: I seek an environment where it is encouraged to express intellectual individuality, where opportunities to combine...
Undergraduatewaterlilly995 - Jan 2, 2013 / waterlilly995 - Jan 2, 2013
|'Scientific exploration' - CalTech supplement essay
5 - Right, I was trying to find what opportunities they offered over the internet, but all i could find was...
UndergraduateTaset - Jan 2, 2013 / Taset - Jan 2, 2013
|"What is it about Caltech's opportunities and resources": transition help
3 - Be careful of the line "just like my dad". You want to indicate that he inspired you to become...
Undergraduatekduan - Dec 24, 2012 / Tardisk - Jan 2, 2013
|In Which I Contemplate the Definition of Hipster- Common App Essay
Undergraduateaminnis - Jan 1, 2013 / aminnis - Jan 2, 2013
|'more like a family' - Why did you choose to apply to UCF? international student
2 - "First (Don't really need the "first" ) Its amazingdiverse population of students from across the world thrills me and...
Undergraduatecalani94 - Jan 2, 2013 / jakk1994 - Jan 2, 2013
|'No playtime and television' - Cornell CALS supplemental essay- why biology?
Undergraduatesjessica26 - Jan 2, 2013 / sjessica26 - Jan 2, 2013
|BENNINGTON/supplement/running list/ short answer
5 - "Ruhnama will be my choice as it is represents the basis of my nation's arts and literature, Turkmen culture,...
Undergraduateserdarovez - Jan 2, 2013 / jakk1994 - Jan 2, 2013
|Psychology is alive at Cornell/ Intellectual interests, their evolution..
5 - I agree with the previous poster who said that it is too short. You did not describe very much...
Undergraduate0livegreen - Dec 29, 2012 / karatekid666 - Jan 2, 2013
|'consumer's subconscious' - Psychology and Business; Cornell Supplement
2 - When I first decided to pursue/give in to my naturally curious tendencies, I was unable, as my high school...
Undergraduatekatev - Jan 2, 2013 / Ahndrahdee - Jan 2, 2013
|'becoming involved' - Stepping out of your comfort zone- Villanova
2 - After doing practically nothing after school at the beginning of my freshman year, my mom... Please don't...
Undergraduatepetemess95 - Jan 2, 2013 / katev - Jan 2, 2013
|'The Perks of Being a Listener' - Penn Benjamin Franklin Quote Essay
3 - Ahhhh! I completely forgot to include the question! Will you guys check to make sure my essay answers the...
Undergraduatehugsandkissesxx - Jan 1, 2013 / hugsandkissesxx - Jan 2, 2013
|'Being intelligent, excited, and eccentric' - Brown Engineering supplement
3 - katev 1. You are absolutely right, I'm making assumptions about my audience again. 2. I don't know if I...
UndergraduateAhndrahdee - Jan 2, 2013 / Ahndrahdee - Jan 2, 2013
|Mumbai's Jari Mari Road - Common App Essay
2 - voracious craving doesn't really make sense. Is it just to watch airplanes? If anything, "my voracious watching of...
Undergraduatewireman - Jan 2, 2013 / katev - Jan 2, 2013
|'communication courses' Why is BU the perfit fit for you and what prompted to apply?
UndergraduateMar52095 - Jan 1, 2013 / chewbaccablack - Jan 2, 2013
|TRAFFIC JAMS & RULES - UNC Chapel Hill /Solving Problems
Undergraduatenguyensybach - Jan 1, 2013 / nguyensybach - Jan 2, 2013
|'Mother's relocation to Georgia' - Common Application Personal Statement
2 - Struggling to accept every school I applied to rejected me, I chose to fabricate a story where limited financial...
Undergraduatemarkray1193 - Jan 1, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|Real life examples; What do you like most about yourself
2 - i think you should write about all three of them about your ambitions and how u going to achieve...
UndergraduateHahahala - Jan 1, 2013 / serdarovez - Jan 2, 2013
|'memorizing the music during vacation' - SHORT RESPONSE FOR COLLEGE APP
UndergraduateiRainiex - Jan 1, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|"You are walking down the street.." - Pomona Essay Supplement
4 - Laccone94 Mayflower and jack i will check yours out now :) and mayflower How can I make it flow...
UndergraduateLaccone94 - Jan 2, 2013 / Laccone94 - Jan 2, 2013
|'unstable situation in my country' - Brown: If you could do anything without failing
Undergraduatewaterlilly995 - Jan 2, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|Swim Team is like a Cult - University of Michigan
Undergraduategmichski - Jan 1, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|Android apps / Computers / OS / PolyThinker - Polytechnic Institute of NY University
4 - We are publishing our own apps for Android (iOS and Windows Phone are planned as well) and create websites....
UndergraduateMyMichael - Dec 25, 2012 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|How my twin influenced me - personal statement
7 - During my first week at COSMOS... During icebreakers... - Try to vary your vocabulary a bit. Don't use "during"...
Undergraduatesogoldman - Dec 23, 2012 / Kitsumi - Jan 2, 2013
|Liberal environment - the most appealing feature of Columbia
Undergraduatemayfl0wer - Dec 30, 2012 / jakk1994 - Jan 2, 2013
|My testing scores and achievements - why Uchicago?
6 - In all honesty, because I have recently received permission from my parents to apply to American universities, I could...
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Jan 2, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|'Relationships with my enemies' - U Chicago Supp
5 - I can already imagine that our similarities would repulse the faint hearted and force us apart like two positive...
Undergraduatestrwrsfn0013 - Jan 2, 2013 / mayfl0wer - Jan 2, 2013
|'Skiing forward' - Williams College Essay: Transfer Applicant
5 - I thought it might be a little different than most essays they will read- I aimed to convey that...
UndergraduateTransferApps - Jan 1, 2013 / TransferApps - Jan 2, 2013
|'Representing a lot of countries' - Boston University Supplement Essay
2 - Hey sorry for the delay! After the first line you could have told that now you are finally taking...
Undergraduateczerep3 - Jan 1, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 2, 2013
|'Being a gymnast' - COMMON APP ESSAY
2 - it just doesn't sound correct, try I was in the sport or something else. You could add another...
Undergraduatealbee8d - Jan 1, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 2, 2013
|I'm on right track; A New Goal - A&M Transfer / SOP
2 - It really tells about how you changed. But, I think you should reflect more on your future than your...
UndergraduateJordanPierce67 - Dec 31, 2012 / painglintun - Jan 2, 2013
|Yangon, bustling city; Common App/ U illinois/ Past circumstances & Experiences
Undergraduatepainglintun - Dec 28, 2012 / painglintun - Jan 2, 2013
|"Army Brat" & Adaptability; Villanova/ Lesson I'd love to share
Undergraduatenoneil - Jan 1, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 2, 2013
|'I am sorry ma'am' - Doctor COMMON APP ESSAY
3 - You don't necessarily need a title. Even some counselors suggest not using titles for your Common App. HOpe...
Undergraduateqr1995 - Jan 1, 2013 / chewbaccablack - Jan 2, 2013
|Mononucleosis & my Soccer practicing; UChicago/Sontag's SILENCE
5 - This is the essay i wrote and yours kinda similar to my to totally different event. Nice job. The...
Undergraduateshmegg - Jan 1, 2013 / kabal - Jan 2, 2013
|Beutiful, but misinterpreted Quote; Furman Essay/QUOTE
Undergraduatehpdwnsn95 - Jan 1, 2013 / moon05 - Jan 2, 2013
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