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|My mother had breast cancer/ COMMON APP
11 - .... I'm going to suggest a different way of telling this idea; After seeing my mother's battle with...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|My love for a life of hustle and bustle; Boston U: Why BU?
Undergraduatejhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|Truth be told; Stanford/ Future Roommate
UndergraduateStroodle - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|"Emancipating potential", directly answers my desire/ Bates Sup /Mission statement
6 - Thanks for checking out my BU essay. Sorry for the late reply, I was really busy with my science...
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 30, 2012 / Ariel421 - Jan 1, 2013
|'Dad, Life, and its Offerings of Value Experiences' -COMMON APP-PERSON OF INFLUENCE
5 - If you studied psychology a bit, perhaps you can explain specific ways in which these two connect. Perhaps you...
Undergraduateredrobinson - Dec 31, 2012 / hughj - Dec 31, 2012
|Versatility in the field of communications; Engaging academically at UPenn
3 - Growing up, I often traveled with my family to different parts of America and China where I had...
Undergraduateyuzec95 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Dec 31, 2012
|I was immovable, but now I am movable; U Penn/ Ben Franklin
2 - If you are going to incorporate the idea of the carrot, you have to begin from the immovable stage....
Undergraduategposcidonio - Dec 31, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Minority Hill Tribe is One of My Homes/ CALVIN COLLEGE; Christian learning environment
7 - No. I meant that maybe you can say that your cultural diversity can help other students to open themselves...
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012 / linting2012 - Dec 31, 2012
|U PENN supp- ALL ELEMENTS UNITE!
2 - You're a very talented writer, and I can tell you're a logical kind of guy. However, I fail to...
Undergraduatedqmonster - Dec 31, 2012 / emalw202 - Dec 31, 2012
|Computer game/ Common App; Significant Experience
Undergraduateamaterrapper - Dec 30, 2012 / amaterrapper - Dec 31, 2012
|The book, "The Hot Zone"; NYU & COLUMBIA; What intrigues/ significance to you?
10 - its a bit too wordy and it only basically describes the book instead of really relating how it influenced...
Undergraduatebigchau - Dec 31, 2012 / dqmonster - Dec 31, 2012
|Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book
8 - Your essay is excellent. I love Don Quixote and I think you really showed how it was meaningful to...
UndergraduateEmiEvi - Dec 30, 2012 / emalw202 - Dec 31, 2012
|Mousetrap car - STANFORD UNIVERSITY - INTELLECTUAL VITALITY
UndergraduateReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012 / ReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012
|I'm a foodie of a close-knit community; Brown Sup/ Community
Undergraduatebr2pi5 - Dec 31, 2012 / keroro - Dec 31, 2012
|The House of The Spirits - Columbia Book Supplement
Undergraduateemalw202 - Dec 31, 2012 / aks1 - Dec 31, 2012
|CONTROL OVER BEHAVIOUR; Stanford Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduateaboveblues - Dec 31, 2012 / aboveblues - Dec 31, 2012
|"John Hancock Center, Willis Tower"/ Badminton State Champ; UIUC civil engineerin
8 - ESSAY 2: Additional information essay "Bump-", the shuttlecock made an elegant trajectory as it flew beyond the net...
Undergraduatekukaxu - Dec 31, 2012 / alexzxz - Dec 31, 2012
|"School for Learners"; Stanford Supp - Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 29, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Produce Software; UVa Sup/ Engineering: what would you do?
5 - How does the computer inspire you? You have to be more specific. "An operating system, by definition, should...
Undergraduatelulwut - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|Changing People's Minds; Stanford - What Matters to You
3 - cesaror123 Sorry, the exact prompt is... "What matters to you, and why?" Do I answer it clearly? Do...
Undergraduatewikiped - Dec 31, 2012 / wikiped - Dec 31, 2012
|Special needs student ; STANFORD - WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND WHY?
UndergraduateReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Good, you're in your right mind again; Common App
4 - funymunky well, you have to try. Just try writing then cutting down. :) Write about something that's important...
Undergraduatefunymunky - Dec 31, 2012 / yuzec95 - Dec 31, 2012
|Books, gateways through which I escape the reality that binds me; NYU Sup/Intrigues?
Undergraduatejjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012 / rew2402 - Dec 31, 2012
|"smartest girl in the world"; Brown Supp/ COMMUNITIES & GROUPS
2 - The only change I made was one that doesn't actually affect your essay. Your grammar, I think, is good....
Undergraduateampersand - Dec 31, 2012 / abenelazar - Dec 31, 2012
|notation:U VA supplement : College of Arts and Sciences
3 - "My mother is a fish"; UVA SUP/ Literature that surprised me College of Arts and Sciences: What work...
Undergraduatecavo8 - Dec 26, 2012 / cavo8 - Dec 31, 2012
|'Core Curriculum', my dream; Columbia Sup/ Appealing about Columbia
Undergraduatejjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012 / jjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Satisfied"/ Courage to ask for more ; UVA - "favorite word"
5 - you might want to reconsider some of the verb tenses. other than that great essay definitely tells who you...
Undergraduatealexzxz - Dec 27, 2012 / kukaxu - Dec 31, 2012
|I was accompanying the choir on the piano ; Common App/ Experience
Undergraduateholmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|I love to devote myself to the adventure... Columbia College Why School Essay
UndergraduateBighall - Dec 28, 2012 / Bighall - Dec 31, 2012
|Since I was little I loved to sing; Common App: Short Answer and Personal Essay
UndergraduateRosekareen - Dec 28, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012
|A firefighter is as much of a super hero as superman or batman; SUPER HERO
3 - As far as super heroes are concerned, I don't believe that one needs to have super powers. I find...
Undergraduateacatam - Dec 31, 2012 / jhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012
|Near my home town/ Girl's liberal arts; Barnard /Good match?
4 - I like the majority of your essay, however I would add that not only is it a women's college,...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / jjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012
|I'm a city girl; BOSTON U Sup/ Good Fit
2 - Overall it is a good essay. When you say, "My hopes were dashed of finding the perfect school;...
Undergraduateelkstar - Dec 31, 2012 / noahremillard - Dec 31, 2012
|I found myself averting from classical music; Common App
Undergraduateumecollege - Dec 30, 2012 / xXWittyGalXx - Dec 31, 2012
|I have been persecuted all my life.; Common APP
11 - Hey! Honestly, I can just see that you are a good writer. And it wasn't boring actually. Your writing...
Undergraduateumecollege - Dec 28, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012
|Lord of the Rings/ Stiff/ Sherlock Homes/ Harry Potter....; UChicago: Favorite books
Undergraduatejhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012 / jhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012
|Achitecture/ Family/ Cultural; SYRACUSE U; Who&what influenced?; Dream person; Mission
3 - the world in the world - not sure what you mean by that, too abstract Syracuse offers great opportunities...
Undergraduatehk1234 - Dec 31, 2012 / ktminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012
|Most innovative; Columbia supplement- Appealing?
3 - I really liked the flow and you definitely did lots of research. You could be more specific about how...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / kukaxu - Dec 31, 2012
|Barnard; Why applying and Conversation With famous Women?
4 - for the second essay, avoid using you. just say her. you would be directing it at the reader....
UndergraduateCMB19932015 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012
|Philosophy, pursuit of truth and wisdom / Lehigh supp/Topic of study
3 - Thanks! your advice helps a lot! and yea, i knew that the whole i want students that leave to...
Undergraduatektminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012 / ktminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012
|Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? ; Future roommate
3 - Hi, there. Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? These days, I cannot sleep because my...
Undergraduatewind5 - Dec 31, 2012 / ReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012
|"big friendly giant" ; Open Heart Surgery; Significant Experience
Undergraduateremanemporor - Dec 31, 2012 / hannahdowdy - Dec 31, 2012
|One giant bowl of New England ; Boston U
Undergraduatepinacolada762 - Dec 31, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 31, 2012
|I know we'll get along; Stanford - Roommate
7 - It wasn't meant to be religious, I basically wanted to say take everything with a grain of salt. But...
Undergraduate503dannyk - Dec 30, 2012 / 503dannyk - Dec 31, 2012
|Internship at G.Architect; Common APP Extracurricular activity
3 - I think I like what you're getting at, but you didn't actually elaborate on your extracurricular besides telling us...
Undergraduateayu0006 - Dec 31, 2012 / kellyjanemartin - Dec 31, 2012
|Lover of Electronics/Age of Empires ; Common App
2 - the first sentence is a bit awkward. the first part of your essay when talking about technology although its...
Undergraduatesekusmore - Dec 31, 2012 / pinacolada762 - Dec 31, 2012
|2 weeks in Quito & Ecuador/Cosmos, by Carl Sagan; Princeton's;Summer/Favorite Quote
NEW - Princeton wants to know what I've done the last two summers in about 2500 characters (this one is 2,864...
UndergraduateIdealprism - Dec 31, 2012 / — -
|Footprints on the Sand, and a Tree; Lehigh/ Unique aspect of Leigh
4 - thanks, your corrections helped a lot! I made them and my essay looks better :) though i feel that...
Undergraduatektminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012 / ktminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012
|SYRACUSE SHORT ANSWER SUPPLEMENT QUESTIONS, check grammar and what not
2 - i hope i can help you with grammar and whatnot I must admit that there is no miraculous story...
Undergraduatebraiser101 - Dec 31, 2012 / 0livegreen - Dec 31, 2012
|Girls/ Night Walks/ Candy/ Scatter minded; Stanford Roommate
7 - Thanks for quick responses. I am going to take out the sex joke portion, but keep the note that...
Undergraduatersr1919 - Dec 31, 2012 / rsr1919 - Dec 31, 2012
|Bryn Mawr: What will I gain?
3 - I love first paragraph but in the second sentence maybe say "at that age..." because using eight years old...
Undergraduatehobak135 - Dec 31, 2012 / noahremillard - Dec 31, 2012
|It's mine; Common App/ The creator of Pokemon & his influence
Undergraduatevallh6018 - Dec 29, 2012 / vallh6018 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Why do we bother keep a dog?"; Stanford / What matters to you & why?
3 - It definitely answers the question of "What matters to you, and why?". add in "seem" between does...
Undergraduatesandytoes5 - Dec 31, 2012 / rsr1919 - Dec 31, 2012
|'Made in China. ' - Cultural Background
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 31, 2012 / Rosekareen - Dec 31, 2012
|I want to be a part of Science and Engineering; Why Harvey Mudd?
2 - It seemed strange at the end, because you are right it was a bit impersonal, for you to suddenly...
Undergraduatenoahremillard - Dec 31, 2012 / hobak135 - Dec 31, 2012
|Helping students to become successful in life; Lehigh / values and priorities
Undergraduatehiguise - Dec 31, 2012 / higuise - Dec 31, 2012
|Interest in working in the UN and Peace Corps/ NYU; Academic Interests
3 - since you exceed the amt of characters,maybe you could leave out the beginning. just jump right into the social...
Undergraduatejfloyd1879 - Dec 31, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012
|A meaningful name, a reminder of my identity/ Personal background/experience
Undergraduatemannam - Dec 30, 2012 / mannam - Dec 31, 2012
|Vastness of the COSMOS; NYU / What Intrigues You?
Undergraduatekc2vwx95 - Dec 31, 2012 / luky0ne - Dec 31, 2012
|Urban setting/opportunity for women/ education/ challenging ; Barnard/Good Match?
4 - Elaborate more on things that set Barnard apart from NYU, otherwise it may seem that you mostly wish to...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012 / jfloyd1879 - Dec 31, 2012
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