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|my friend Dylan/ Setnor School of Music/ communication skills/ local music; SYRACUSE SUPP
4 - If you haven't submitted it already then it might be of some help. If you have already submitted, then...
Undergraduatetahanw13 - Dec 31, 2012 / moon05 - Jan 1, 2013
|IDEAS and IBE programs - Why Lehigh?
Undergraduatehiguise - Dec 31, 2012 / moon05 - Jan 1, 2013
|I played with my Legos; Columbia Supp- Why Engineering?
Undergraduateklnb13 - Jan 1, 2013 / tffnycheng - Jan 1, 2013
|I will always be is a Rhode Islander; RICE - Unique Life Experiences
5 - Hey snibberbit sorry I didn't come here yesterday or I would have truly helped you. And by the way,...
Undergraduatesnibberbit - Dec 28, 2012 / moon05 - Jan 1, 2013
|Make something/ love my job/ tell my kids about my life; "Why want to go to college?"
3 - But I heard college love originality and risks. I've even heard of people swearing in their college essay and...
Undergraduateholmes01234 - Jan 1, 2013 / holmes01234 - Jan 1, 2013
|my own willpower ; PRINCETON / PERSON WHO HAD AN INFLUENCE
2 - I think there are still another mistake in the essay. Overall the essay is good enough( though a bit...
UndergraduateALI988 - Dec 31, 2012 / Mein - Jan 1, 2013
|Be on a golf course without golf clubs; COMMON APP
14 - I think you just need to do some editing on the part you mention about this different world you...
Undergraduatetffnycheng - Dec 31, 2012 / ALI988 - Jan 1, 2013
|Creating my own stream in this fast-paced world; Masters in Economics/ WHY NYU?
2 - A place of possibilities and diverse population constantly shuffling every single second. This sentence sounds very awkward for some...
Undergraduaterosieish - Dec 31, 2012 / plummzz_2436 - Jan 1, 2013
|The Diary of Anais Nin; H,Y,P Supplement
Undergraduaterew2402 - Dec 31, 2012 / rew2402 - Jan 1, 2013
|Our experiences define ourselves; Mercersburg Essay/ Myself at Mercersburg
7 - HarvardAccept... can u look at my essay here ..essayforum.com/undergraduate-essays-2/common-app-essay-47150/...
UndergraduateOhBeExGmoney - Dec 31, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Jan 1, 2013
|Ethical arguments of our time/ Lehigh Sup - Values/priorities of my institution.
4 - That's the part that obstruct your statement about topics of study that you choose. If I take the...
Undergraduateabenelazar - Dec 31, 2012 / Mein - Jan 1, 2013
|Christianity, a part of my life; Common App - Person with significant influence
6 - This is a superb essay, your beginning and end are very strong. The essay clearly shows what you...
UndergraduateAmoebaMan - Dec 30, 2012 / qr1995 - Jan 1, 2013
|Major in Engineering + mix of Physics, math & dirty hands; UPenn/Engage academically
6 - any help ?...
Undergraduatemahmoudjendy - Dec 30, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Jan 1, 2013
|Contribution to home country/ BEREA College APP; Educational Overview/ Plans
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 21, 2012 / Ariel421 - Jan 1, 2013
|Sports have been a major aspect throughout my life; Seattle U Sup
3 - .... You need to set up a better link between the first and the second lines; Irrespective of...
Undergraduategiallolover23 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|Petroleum-based country/ Freedom of Choice; Indicated Areas/ Brown Curriculum
3 - The first essay is concise and too the point, I think its wonderful. Like the other person said, towards...
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 31, 2012 / smujeeb121 - Jan 1, 2013
|The Spider Playbook; Why Weiss School of Natural Sciences?
2 - It was his favorite book for years and years only until he discovered the Hardy Boys series. ...
Undergraduateaqualad - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|Determination to provide my family - Common app
5 - Although touchy essays are risky, they can be moving and inspirational; they make an impact. however your essay's construction...
Undergraduatedqmonster - Dec 31, 2012 / strwrsfn0013 - Jan 1, 2013
|Beautiful campus, diversity of the student body, and the reputation; Why Syracuse U?
3 - Thanks !...
Undergraduatewheres_am - Dec 30, 2012 / wheres_am - Jan 1, 2013
|My mother had breast cancer/ COMMON APP
11 - .... I'm going to suggest a different way of telling this idea; After seeing my mother's battle with...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|My love for a life of hustle and bustle; Boston U: Why BU?
Undergraduatejhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|Truth be told; Stanford/ Future Roommate
UndergraduateStroodle - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Jan 1, 2013
|"Emancipating potential", directly answers my desire/ Bates Sup /Mission statement
6 - Thanks for checking out my BU essay. Sorry for the late reply, I was really busy with my science...
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 30, 2012 / Ariel421 - Jan 1, 2013
|'Dad, Life, and its Offerings of Value Experiences' -COMMON APP-PERSON OF INFLUENCE
5 - If you studied psychology a bit, perhaps you can explain specific ways in which these two connect. Perhaps you...
Undergraduateredrobinson - Dec 31, 2012 / hughj - Dec 31, 2012
|Versatility in the field of communications; Engaging academically at UPenn
3 - Growing up, I often traveled with my family to different parts of America and China where I had...
Undergraduateyuzec95 - Dec 31, 2012 / dumi - Dec 31, 2012
|I was immovable, but now I am movable; U Penn/ Ben Franklin
2 - If you are going to incorporate the idea of the carrot, you have to begin from the immovable stage....
Undergraduategposcidonio - Dec 31, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Minority Hill Tribe is One of My Homes/ CALVIN COLLEGE; Christian learning environment
7 - No. I meant that maybe you can say that your cultural diversity can help other students to open themselves...
Undergraduateqasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012 / linting2012 - Dec 31, 2012
|U PENN supp- ALL ELEMENTS UNITE!
2 - You're a very talented writer, and I can tell you're a logical kind of guy. However, I fail to...
Undergraduatedqmonster - Dec 31, 2012 / emalw202 - Dec 31, 2012
|Computer game/ Common App; Significant Experience
Undergraduateamaterrapper - Dec 30, 2012 / amaterrapper - Dec 31, 2012
|The book, "The Hot Zone"; NYU & COLUMBIA; What intrigues/ significance to you?
10 - its a bit too wordy and it only basically describes the book instead of really relating how it influenced...
Undergraduatebigchau - Dec 31, 2012 / dqmonster - Dec 31, 2012
|Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book
8 - Your essay is excellent. I love Don Quixote and I think you really showed how it was meaningful to...
UndergraduateEmiEvi - Dec 30, 2012 / emalw202 - Dec 31, 2012
|Mousetrap car - STANFORD UNIVERSITY - INTELLECTUAL VITALITY
UndergraduateReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012 / ReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012
|I'm a foodie of a close-knit community; Brown Sup/ Community
Undergraduatebr2pi5 - Dec 31, 2012 / keroro - Dec 31, 2012
|The House of The Spirits - Columbia Book Supplement
Undergraduateemalw202 - Dec 31, 2012 / aks1 - Dec 31, 2012
|CONTROL OVER BEHAVIOUR; Stanford Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduateaboveblues - Dec 31, 2012 / aboveblues - Dec 31, 2012
|"John Hancock Center, Willis Tower"/ Badminton State Champ; UIUC civil engineerin
8 - ESSAY 2: Additional information essay "Bump-", the shuttlecock made an elegant trajectory as it flew beyond the net...
Undergraduatekukaxu - Dec 31, 2012 / alexzxz - Dec 31, 2012
|"School for Learners"; Stanford Supp - Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 29, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Produce Software; UVa Sup/ Engineering: what would you do?
5 - How does the computer inspire you? You have to be more specific. "An operating system, by definition, should...
Undergraduatelulwut - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|Changing People's Minds; Stanford - What Matters to You
3 - cesaror123 Sorry, the exact prompt is... "What matters to you, and why?" Do I answer it clearly? Do...
Undergraduatewikiped - Dec 31, 2012 / wikiped - Dec 31, 2012
|Special needs student ; STANFORD - WHAT MATTERS TO YOU AND WHY?
UndergraduateReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 31, 2012
|Good, you're in your right mind again; Common App
4 - funymunky well, you have to try. Just try writing then cutting down. :) Write about something that's important...
Undergraduatefunymunky - Dec 31, 2012 / yuzec95 - Dec 31, 2012
|Books, gateways through which I escape the reality that binds me; NYU Sup/Intrigues?
Undergraduatejjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012 / rew2402 - Dec 31, 2012
|"smartest girl in the world"; Brown Supp/ COMMUNITIES & GROUPS
2 - The only change I made was one that doesn't actually affect your essay. Your grammar, I think, is good....
Undergraduateampersand - Dec 31, 2012 / abenelazar - Dec 31, 2012
|notation:U VA supplement : College of Arts and Sciences
3 - "My mother is a fish"; UVA SUP/ Literature that surprised me College of Arts and Sciences: What work...
Undergraduatecavo8 - Dec 26, 2012 / cavo8 - Dec 31, 2012
|'Core Curriculum', my dream; Columbia Sup/ Appealing about Columbia
Undergraduatejjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012 / jjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Satisfied"/ Courage to ask for more ; UVA - "favorite word"
5 - you might want to reconsider some of the verb tenses. other than that great essay definitely tells who you...
Undergraduatealexzxz - Dec 27, 2012 / kukaxu - Dec 31, 2012
|I was accompanying the choir on the piano ; Common App/ Experience
Undergraduateholmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|I love to devote myself to the adventure... Columbia College Why School Essay
UndergraduateBighall - Dec 28, 2012 / Bighall - Dec 31, 2012
|Since I was little I loved to sing; Common App: Short Answer and Personal Essay
UndergraduateRosekareen - Dec 28, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012
|A firefighter is as much of a super hero as superman or batman; SUPER HERO
3 - As far as super heroes are concerned, I don't believe that one needs to have super powers. I find...
Undergraduateacatam - Dec 31, 2012 / jhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012
|Near my home town/ Girl's liberal arts; Barnard /Good match?
4 - I like the majority of your essay, however I would add that not only is it a women's college,...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / jjgrad09 - Dec 31, 2012
|I'm a city girl; BOSTON U Sup/ Good Fit
2 - Overall it is a good essay. When you say, "My hopes were dashed of finding the perfect school;...
Undergraduateelkstar - Dec 31, 2012 / noahremillard - Dec 31, 2012
|I found myself averting from classical music; Common App
Undergraduateumecollege - Dec 30, 2012 / xXWittyGalXx - Dec 31, 2012
|I have been persecuted all my life.; Common APP
11 - Hey! Honestly, I can just see that you are a good writer. And it wasn't boring actually. Your writing...
Undergraduateumecollege - Dec 28, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012
|Lord of the Rings/ Stiff/ Sherlock Homes/ Harry Potter....; UChicago: Favorite books
Undergraduatejhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012 / jhakyung195 - Dec 31, 2012
|Achitecture/ Family/ Cultural; SYRACUSE U; Who&what influenced?; Dream person; Mission
3 - the world in the world - not sure what you mean by that, too abstract Syracuse offers great opportunities...
Undergraduatehk1234 - Dec 31, 2012 / ktminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012
|Most innovative; Columbia supplement- Appealing?
3 - I really liked the flow and you definitely did lots of research. You could be more specific about how...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / kukaxu - Dec 31, 2012
|Barnard; Why applying and Conversation With famous Women?
4 - for the second essay, avoid using you. just say her. you would be directing it at the reader....
UndergraduateCMB19932015 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012
|Philosophy, pursuit of truth and wisdom / Lehigh supp/Topic of study
3 - Thanks! your advice helps a lot! and yea, i knew that the whole i want students that leave to...
Undergraduatektminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012 / ktminnieheartsa - Dec 31, 2012
|Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? ; Future roommate
3 - Hi, there. Are you fluttering with expectancy of new life at Stanford? These days, I cannot sleep because my...
Undergraduatewind5 - Dec 31, 2012 / ReshmaA - Dec 31, 2012
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