|Undergraduate [25,739] - page 118 of 429|
|"Tesla?"; It was my mistake.; UVa Supp/
Undergraduatelulwut - Dec 31, 2012 / lulwut - Dec 31, 2012
|Working at an International Fair; GAP year Essay. What have you been doing?
4 - Ahh. Awkward sentencing at times, but I think trhough this essay, I can see that you are a good...
Undergraduatelinting2012 - Dec 28, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 31, 2012
|Daughter. Sister. Friend. Cousin. Granddaughter... RELATIONSHIPS; STANFORD/ WHAT MATTERS
2 - rephrase? unwelcomed or unwelcoming determination(comma) I have learnt what i personally believe is that you (as...
UndergraduateGAS1995 - Dec 31, 2012 / rew2402 - Dec 31, 2012
|Shining computer parts / Greenhouse Club / Brown sup; Short answers
12 - this is nice, but you use a lot of 'and's in your sentences; instead of ' my understanding of...
Undergraduatea608863a - Dec 30, 2012 / vncnz - Dec 31, 2012
|Core Curriculum /Enlightening discussions ; COLUMBIA SUP/ Most Appealing
2 - This is very simple yet informative. Its very good and I like how you mentioned math and science again...
UndergraduateCollegeApp - Dec 31, 2012 / vvega395 - Dec 31, 2012
|'The best jobs' - Why I want to study engineering - Rice University
Undergraduatesnibberbit - Dec 31, 2012 / Mein - Dec 31, 2012
|Chemistry & Nervous Systems; Coumbia/ Neuroscience or chemistry?
UndergraduateEmeeShie7 - Dec 30, 2012 / EmeeShie7 - Dec 31, 2012
|Teacher who plants seeds of knowledge; BatesCollege/ Mission statement
2 - Well, nice to see a Vietnamese here. And applying to Bates, you're my opponent. Your English language is great,...
Undergraduatetrangsix - Dec 31, 2012 / bymyside4948 - Dec 31, 2012
|Being a Muslim; Common App/ Personal, local, international concern
3 - Both are really well written. However for the first essay, you shoudl try to reveal about what you...
Undergraduatemgabir - Dec 26, 2012 / chewbaccablack - Dec 31, 2012
|We grabbed Trophy; MSU/ Richness of Campus Life
4 - This is my revised version MSU Prompt: 1. Michigan State University recognizes that an assortment of interests, viewpoints,...
Undergraduateshailendra redd - Dec 23, 2012 / shailendra redd - Dec 31, 2012
|Dr. John Roebke, a passionate teacher; Person of Influence
5 - Instead of : 1) 'such many new ways, and I regard...' I would replace it with just 'such many...
Undergraduatejfloyd1879 - Dec 30, 2012 / GAS1995 - Dec 31, 2012
|Hamilton, the drop of water; Hamilton supp/ Why Hamilton?
3 - "The strongly emphasized the creative writing program" I'm a Chinese, and I'm also applying to Hamilton. Please help me...
Undergraduateteddyliu - Dec 25, 2012 / rainneil - Dec 31, 2012
|Which department at MIT appeals to you and why?
2 - Definitely I think they are looking for something more specific than revolutionizing technology :P No seriously,...
Undergraduatemetalstriker - Dec 31, 2012 / ershad193 - Dec 31, 2012
|Connecticut College / Firewood - Meaningful place, Supp / Why Conncoll?
Undergraduatebymyside4948 - Dec 28, 2012 / bymyside4948 - Dec 31, 2012
|Dhaka is really close to my heart! -Stanford- What matters to you and why?
UndergraduateWH123 - Dec 28, 2012 / WH123 - Dec 31, 2012
|It looked into my eyes and said, "Have faith"; NYU-What intrigues you?
5 - Such was the surrounding that as I leisurely followed the road, sometimes slowing to admire the sunset; it was...
Undergraduatealicederp - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|I had the opportunity to get involved in a program at the New York University
4 - high school..not highschool. 3rd line- after process and full stop give a space. line 11- i think its not...
Undergraduatenayelojello - Dec 30, 2012 / Bikash2013 - Dec 31, 2012
|business essay - 250 word requirement (proofread and tips appreciated!)
3 - I think you have to change your last paragraph because its not relevant and parallel to the main body....
Undergraduateballetdncr3895 - Dec 30, 2012 / Bikash2013 - Dec 31, 2012
|"impoverished family status"; Personal statement
6 - nayelojello - Thank you for your comment. I will consider that. Could you please help me by saying some...
UndergraduateBikash2013 - Dec 30, 2012 / Bikash2013 - Dec 31, 2012
|I come from a different background than yours; Stanford Roommate
3 - Your essay needs some variety; parallel some sentence and vary your words; don't just use I am.... or I...,...
UndergraduateMufasa - Dec 30, 2012 / Mein - Dec 31, 2012
|My brother hated school; Boston College ; Experience affecting perception
3 - I agree with yuzec, you should focus on your feeling, your change of perception, and how your brother trigger...
Undergraduaterainforest3321 - Dec 28, 2012 / Mein - Dec 31, 2012
|My reality after my best friend committed suicide; Common App/ Significant Influence
18 - It is very touching, I an totally impressed.~~ You must have gone through the life's up and down~~...
Undergraduatealicederp - Dec 28, 2012 / headshot0313 - Dec 31, 2012
|'A rat's race' - Stanford Essay-What matters most to you and why?
2 - Hey ! I love your essay choice because it's evident that, taking moments to just slow down and reflect...
UndergraduateAmy95 - Dec 31, 2012 / GAS1995 - Dec 31, 2012
|Make others Happy; Yale/ What matters?
3 - Very good! If you can lengthen, lengthen. "My motives were innocent; I was simply trying to revive the same...
Undergraduatemr_scottyt - Dec 31, 2012 / elina855 - Dec 31, 2012
|Feelings; Stanford/ What matters to you
UndergraduateMein - Dec 31, 2012 / rainforest3321 - Dec 31, 2012
|High heels helped me battle my inner demons../UChicago Arch-Nemesis Supplement
6 - I love this essay. Great job being honest about yourself in such a formal and enlightening way. The harsh...
Undergraduatepingupinga - Dec 28, 2012 / rainforest3321 - Dec 31, 2012
|Mama said we could fix it up; NYU-what intrigues you?
2 - From what I can see, it doesn't seem as though you're really showing much of a personality here. It...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 31, 2012 / yoitsm - Dec 31, 2012
|Spectrum of the biochemical field; Cornell / Why agriculture and life science?
Undergraduateayu0006 - Dec 31, 2012 / alicederp - Dec 31, 2012
|MagLev; Cornell / Building interest.
NEW - Cornell:Tell us about an engineering idea you have, or about your interest in engineering. Describe how your ideas and...
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 31, 2012 / — -
|High quality education/ universal life experience; BROWN UNIVERSITY/ Why?
4 - to be honest, I feel like the admissions office is going to receive thousands of essays that look just...
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Dec 31, 2012 / holmes01234 - Dec 31, 2012
|Snoring/ Humor/ Reading/ Freindly/ Laugh; Stanford/ Roommate
Undergraduatekmedina217 - Dec 31, 2012 / kmedina217 - Dec 31, 2012
|EASYGOING/KPOP FAN/ INDEPENDENT; Stanford /Letter to Roommate - Future Friend
Undergraduateupwards - Dec 31, 2012 / upwards - Dec 31, 2012
|The Rubik's Cube ; Common App Essay/ Significant experience/ achievement
4 - paragraph 3 maybe vary the word choice from "beat" to something else. found a soln. solved the puzzle. it...
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 31, 2012 / mr_scottyt - Dec 31, 2012
|Essay on Bill McKibben ; McKenna/ Leadership
3 - I am impressed by your profound thoughts. I like the example that you wrote in the essay, I show...
Undergraduatebzn456 - Dec 29, 2012 / FortuitousMW - Dec 31, 2012
|Books, imagination sense/ What intrigues you?
Undergraduatemahmoudjendy - Dec 29, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Dec 31, 2012
|NYU COM. APP-GLOBAL NETWORK/CAMPUS
7 - Do you think I need more information about the school in the second one? I stated earlier that it...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 30, 2012 / Karla281995 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Yes, I am a dancer"; Common App
Undergraduatejuneidyl - Dec 28, 2012 / juneidyl - Dec 31, 2012
|Hi, I'm Ibrahim! ; Stanford Roommate
4 - the stanford essay is due jan 1st so thats not tomorrow first of all. not sure what time zone...
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 31, 2012 / mr_scottyt - Dec 31, 2012
|Claremont McKenna Athenaeum Leadership Essay: George Washington
2 - I think you've written it really well! Perhaps though you could offer a slightly more balanced view by saying...
Undergraduatescubabeast - Dec 30, 2012 / WonderlandPlan - Dec 31, 2012
|Walk on the Wild Road;Personal Statement
11 - why hip hop dancing !!!! I'm straightly rapping, period. Why Asian studies... African-American Studies is more suitable I guess....
UndergraduateBighall - Dec 29, 2012 / Bighall - Dec 31, 2012
|ABET accredited programs ; Brown Sup/ Broadened my interest
2 - Wonderful essay. I love how uncliched your story was, and I like how you made the progression into why...
Undergraduatea608863a - Dec 31, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|BAND; Common Ap/ Extracurricular
7 - I really like the poetic approach. I would never know how to make it work for me, personally, but...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 29, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|Beautiful sounds of music; Common App - Extracurricular activity
7 - Your essay is very good, in my opinion. It shows your passion for music and how music has affected...
Undergraduatejfloyd1879 - Dec 30, 2012 / xamanda - Dec 31, 2012
|Education system; COMMON APP PERSONAL ESSAY
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Dec 29, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|Quote from Harry Potter; Princeton , favorite quotation!
2 - lexirosengrant but they often overlook the courage it takes to stand up to your friends . I think...
Undergraduatelexirosengrant - Dec 31, 2012 / whitezebra - Dec 31, 2012
|I have been living the dream; it's time to share it ! -Stanford
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 30, 2012 / whitezebra - Dec 31, 2012
|Quiet/Picturesque/Homely feeling/Meaningful ideas/Witty Banter; Why Columbia Essay?
4 - the part u said But while Columbia's atmosphere was certainly enticing, its academics also seemed thoroughly satisfying...you should restructure...
Undergraduateemalw202 - Dec 30, 2012 / Udensi - Dec 31, 2012
|Dream School; Boston University Supp- Why applied?
Undergraduate503dannyk - Dec 29, 2012 / garmeth06 - Dec 31, 2012
|Ranked 4th nationally and 9th internationally; UCHICAGO/ Why?
2 - Very well-written. I liked it a lot, especially how you talked about them knowing their students. My only concern...
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Dec 31, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|When I was child, I like color more than figures; College App
2 - When I was child, I liked colors more than figures. It is strange that my father is working for...
UndergraduateMindylee - Dec 30, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 31, 2012
|I hear the samba music playing ; extracurricular activity
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 31, 2012
|Great city/ Wide range of studies/ College experience; WHY NYU?
19 - Dude I can see where this would be hard. You and I took the same approach regarding the poetic...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012 / Karla281995 - Dec 31, 2012
|I am unique in one of these ways ; William and Mary/ Uniqueness
3 - haha interesting and extraordinarily "unique"! I know nothing about William and Mary, but if it's a liberal type of...
Undergraduatehhales95 - Dec 30, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 31, 2012
|Three options; Common App/ Where I lived
3 - paigeevaa is right, all of them are amazing. my favourite one is the second one, but thats just the...
Undergraduateshiverrrrs - Dec 30, 2012 / Harein - Dec 31, 2012
|"Hook up,climb and abseil", ROCK CLIMBING; Common app-Extracurricular activities
3 - thanks for the feedback! ive actually rewritten my short answer completely because i thought repeating the topic would just...
UndergraduateHarein - Dec 29, 2012 / Harein - Dec 31, 2012
|Working at Movie Theater; COMMON APP - WORK EXPERIENCE
5 - revised version: very different please leave feedback and i will help with yours! For the past five...
Undergraduatetahanw13 - Dec 23, 2012 / tahanw13 - Dec 31, 2012
|Change, America! Change! Together!; Chicago Essay: Where's Waldo?
4 - This needs to be put in quotes. Sadly..overall I still dont think this answered the question...where...
Undergraduateimbue - Dec 27, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 31, 2012
|I want the real insight into Turkish / Grinnell Supplement; People I'd like to know
3 - Thanks! I'll reconsider my wordings and structures. Anyone else? Help me please! I'll help you back!...
UndergraduateShoko0229 - Dec 30, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Confidence"; Stanford Supp - What Matters to You
2 - Hello, we meet again C: Great! Your last paragraph is really repetitive though, add something else that isn't...
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|True belief, The salvation of a cynic - Common app;topic of your choice
14 - Thanks!...
Undergraduateanally - Dec 6, 2012 / anally - Dec 30, 2012
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