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|BAND; Common Ap/ Extracurricular
7 - I really like the poetic approach. I would never know how to make it work for me, personally, but...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 29, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|Beautiful sounds of music; Common App - Extracurricular activity
7 - Your essay is very good, in my opinion. It shows your passion for music and how music has affected...
Undergraduatejfloyd1879 - Dec 30, 2012 / xamanda - Dec 31, 2012
|Education system; COMMON APP PERSONAL ESSAY
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Dec 29, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|Quote from Harry Potter; Princeton , favorite quotation!
2 - lexirosengrant but they often overlook the courage it takes to stand up to your friends . I think...
Undergraduatelexirosengrant - Dec 31, 2012 / whitezebra - Dec 31, 2012
|I have been living the dream; it's time to share it ! -Stanford
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 30, 2012 / whitezebra - Dec 31, 2012
|Quiet/Picturesque/Homely feeling/Meaningful ideas/Witty Banter; Why Columbia Essay?
4 - the part u said But while Columbia's atmosphere was certainly enticing, its academics also seemed thoroughly satisfying...you should restructure...
Undergraduateemalw202 - Dec 30, 2012 / Udensi - Dec 31, 2012
|Dream School; Boston University Supp- Why applied?
Undergraduate503dannyk - Dec 29, 2012 / garmeth06 - Dec 31, 2012
|Ranked 4th nationally and 9th internationally; UCHICAGO/ Why?
2 - Very well-written. I liked it a lot, especially how you talked about them knowing their students. My only concern...
Undergraduatewhitezebra - Dec 31, 2012 / Dabbagh - Dec 31, 2012
|When I was child, I like color more than figures; College App
2 - When I was child, I liked colors more than figures. It is strange that my father is working for...
UndergraduateMindylee - Dec 30, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 31, 2012
|I hear the samba music playing ; extracurricular activity
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 31, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 31, 2012
|Great city/ Wide range of studies/ College experience; WHY NYU?
19 - Dude I can see where this would be hard. You and I took the same approach regarding the poetic...
Undergraduateticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012 / Karla281995 - Dec 31, 2012
|I am unique in one of these ways ; William and Mary/ Uniqueness
3 - haha interesting and extraordinarily "unique"! I know nothing about William and Mary, but if it's a liberal type of...
Undergraduatehhales95 - Dec 30, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 31, 2012
|Three options; Common App/ Where I lived
3 - paigeevaa is right, all of them are amazing. my favourite one is the second one, but thats just the...
Undergraduateshiverrrrs - Dec 30, 2012 / Harein - Dec 31, 2012
|"Hook up,climb and abseil", ROCK CLIMBING; Common app-Extracurricular activities
3 - thanks for the feedback! ive actually rewritten my short answer completely because i thought repeating the topic would just...
UndergraduateHarein - Dec 29, 2012 / Harein - Dec 31, 2012
|Working at Movie Theater; COMMON APP - WORK EXPERIENCE
5 - revised version: very different please leave feedback and i will help with yours! For the past five...
Undergraduatetahanw13 - Dec 23, 2012 / tahanw13 - Dec 31, 2012
|Change, America! Change! Together!; Chicago Essay: Where's Waldo?
4 - This needs to be put in quotes. Sadly..overall I still dont think this answered the question...where...
Undergraduateimbue - Dec 27, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 31, 2012
|I want the real insight into Turkish / Grinnell Supplement; People I'd like to know
3 - Thanks! I'll reconsider my wordings and structures. Anyone else? Help me please! I'll help you back!...
UndergraduateShoko0229 - Dec 30, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 31, 2012
|"Confidence"; Stanford Supp - What Matters to You
2 - Hello, we meet again C: Great! Your last paragraph is really repetitive though, add something else that isn't...
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|True belief, The salvation of a cynic - Common app;topic of your choice
14 - Thanks!...
Undergraduateanally - Dec 6, 2012 / anally - Dec 30, 2012
|Winning last year's science fair; Scientific Achievement Answer- Supplement NYU
2 - I feel like instead of science, you should be more specific. Also at the end, make sure you tie...
Undergraduatepaola006 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|I want to design and construct a comfortable environment ; Choosing Architecture?
4 - I was born in a small coastal city in China called Dalian, where nature and industrialism blends together perfectly....
Undergraduatexxchappell - Dec 29, 2012 / xxchappell - Dec 30, 2012
|"Opinions" What Matters to You and Why- Stanford Supp.
Undergraduatemeagannh11 - Dec 30, 2012 / onlyonechance - Dec 30, 2012
|Life of Pi; Living colorfully; UVa supplement
3 - This is a great choice! However, you should emphasize on how the book influenced you, and talk more about...
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 30, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 30, 2012
|I learned this art form which they called "Quilling"/ NYU;What intrigues you?
7 - I totaly agree with the comments above, i think it needs a conclusion statment that elaborateness how paper has...
Undergraduateaks1 - Dec 30, 2012 / Colombiankid94 - Dec 30, 2012
|My life as a Brasilian and how diversity is crucial to me
Undergraduatelilyraquel52 - Dec 30, 2012 / Rosekareen - Dec 30, 2012
|Bogota streets / Human body / Help through work - NYU supplements
4 - 1. contraction-I've But, there are other lifestyles out there, I started at the end the prompt and noticed...
UndergraduateColombiankid94 - Dec 30, 2012 / Karla281995 - Dec 30, 2012
|Studios/Lectures/Mentors/Visiting artists/Curators/ Critics;Northwestern/Art major?
3 - So far so good! I liked how you incorporated your knowledge about the school into your essay. You know...
Undergraduatesammy kim - Dec 29, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|Explanation of what affected my academic record my jr year of high school
2 - This is really sad. D: I'm sorry for what you've gone through but I'm glad that you overcame this...
Undergraduatelilyraquel52 - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|I love challenges; Johns Hopkins/ Why math major?
Undergraduateonlyonechance - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|When I first learned to read, I struggled; Common App
3 - In order to really show your love of reading and books, maybe choose some book that has been important...
Undergraduatecatdammerj12 - Dec 8, 2012 / lilyraquel52 - Dec 30, 2012
|Fascination with Eye Contact; Yale Supp/ learn more about you
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 29, 2012 / katev - Dec 30, 2012
|English was not my first language; Essay on a novel I wrote
Undergraduateloreliag - Dec 30, 2012 / aks1 - Dec 30, 2012
|Chinese poetry; Stanford Supp - intellectual vitality and Chinese
8 - Hello! Please don't say that. I am happy that my suggestions helped :) I love your essays so I...
Undergraduatednx2000 - Dec 25, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 30, 2012
|The perfect balance of everything; U Chicago/ Why?
11 - Okay. They give you a prompt. You list out the answer 1,2,3. How many people that applied to Chicago...
Undergraduateyuzec95 - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|Waiting for Godot by Samul Backett; Columbia/MEANINGFUL BOOK
2 - In your real format be sure to italicize the titles, so the readers can read with more flow ;)...
Undergraduatewind5 - Dec 30, 2012 / umecollege - Dec 30, 2012
|Diverse nurturing environment/ Dynamic Urban life; Why Chicago U?
2 - The University of Chicago emphasizes the ideas of those that attend the university. UChicago KNOWS all of its statistics...
Undergraduatearguanoid - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|NYU economics program; NYU sup/ Academic Interests
10 - Thank you so much for your input on my essay! Honestly, there's nothing I could say about yours..It's amazing...
Undergraduatealicederp - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|My cousin was diagonozed with Cervical cancer; Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatedqmonster - Dec 30, 2012 / arguanoid - Dec 30, 2012
|"Since we're all going to die".....UVA
6 - @alicederp Oops! I meant to take that part out! It was crossed out on Microsoft Word, but not on...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|RACISM; Issue of personal, local, national or international concern
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|Oh, Love for Literature, Where Are Thou?; Common Application "Main Essay"
6 - Just a little mistake: Sipping my coffee while flipping through the daily issue of The Washington Post, one title...
UndergraduateTranLePhu - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|Dancing Teacher; Career Goal Essay
NEW - Throughout my entire high school experience, I have learned more about myself as well as what my personal strengths...
Undergraduateballetdncr3895 - Dec 30, 2012 / — -
|We moved to back to Baltimore ; UVa SUP; World you come from?
UndergraduateLarryHoover - Dec 30, 2012 / LarryHoover - Dec 30, 2012
|I kept silent about my sickness; UCHICAGO Supp - (SILENCE)
9 - Hi there, Firstly, "The campus experience was great, but I lack the class experience. My past experience has...
Undergraduatekabal - Dec 23, 2012 / alicederp - Dec 30, 2012
|"Dancing Down a Winding Road"- Stanford Future Roomate Essay
2 - You voice and personality really shows in this essay. You seem very live and joyful yet very thoughtful haha....
Undergraduatemeagannh11 - Dec 30, 2012 / umecollege - Dec 30, 2012
|I volunteered as a camp counselor ; Syracuse / work experience
2 - Being a counselor gave mecame with a lot of responsibilities. Through this experience, I also feel that I improved...
Undergraduaterunnerb - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|NYU-Poly Supplement Question "How are you a 'Poly-thinker'?"
UndergraduateAllenduncare - Dec 30, 2012 / alexzxz - Dec 30, 2012
|Opportunity to study science & arts, diverse interests; Carnegie Mellon / Why?/ Goals
2 - "The reason why I chose Carnegie Mellon is that it gives students the opportunity to pursue a path of...
Undergraduateieleen - Dec 30, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 30, 2012
|passion for business, international diplomacy/Penn(Wharton) Sup; Engage academically?
8 - Hi there, "Responding to this concern, I spearheaded a paperless Board Office, saving $20,000 annually, making a significant...
Undergraduatehellogoodbye - Dec 29, 2012 / alicederp - Dec 30, 2012
|Renee Smith did come out; Personal Statement
2 - Nice essay but I think you have to mention a little more about how she influenced your personal life....
Undergraduatealexnsmith - Dec 30, 2012 / Bikash2013 - Dec 30, 2012
|I formed a five-girl team; CommonApp- Significant experience
Undergraduateyisha - Dec 26, 2012 / yisha - Dec 30, 2012
|This clarified my attraction to physics; Columbia: Attraction to specific field.
2 - Wow! This is really good. Personally, I cannot find anything wrong with it. My only suggestion is to...
UndergraduateBlackWaltzIV - Dec 29, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 30, 2012
|Old Man and The Sea / Columbia University supp/ Meaningful book
8 - For the second essay, elaborate more on what Columbia has to offer you. You keep praising Columbia, but be...
UndergraduateUdensi - Dec 29, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|"Happiness is a choice"; Stanford Supp - Letter to Roommate
9 - This is cute but a little bit too 'I AM GOING TO SHOVE HAPPINESS DOWN YOUR THROAT WHETHER YOU...
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 30, 2012 / mayfl0wer - Dec 30, 2012
|MY BAG - Stanford Supplement/What matters to you?
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Dec 30, 2012 / headshot0313 - Dec 30, 2012
|GRANDFATHER - my first teacher - person who influenced me
9 - Great work, but maybe remove an anecdote or two and elaborate on more on what you've learned or how...
Undergraduateblack and white - Dec 28, 2012 / jfloyd1879 - Dec 30, 2012
|"I want to be a lawyer" ; Why Hamilton?
Undergraduateluying9682 - Dec 30, 2012 / yisha - Dec 30, 2012
|I want to follow the steps of my brother; UChicago / Satisfying my desire
Undergraduatejonathanavila95 - Dec 15, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 30, 2012
|Travel and discovering new places; Cornell University:College of Human Ecology Essay
2 - I aspire to travel the world, discovering places that are new to me. In doing so, my eyes will...
UndergraduateWescobar16 - Dec 29, 2012 / aceq - Dec 30, 2012
|To me, science is a way of thinking, a passion, and so much more; NYU/ What program?
Undergraduatealan459 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
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