|Undergraduate [25,738] - page 12 of 429|
|Essay that Discusses My Personal Story
6 - @theunnamedyoutub While I do somewhat agree with the other post in that it should be more about yourself...
Undergraduatetheunnamedyoutub - Oct 11, 2017 / benh44 - Oct 12, 2017
|USING LAW TO CHANGE THE WORLD - UCAS SOP
2 - Rishbha , a statement of purpose is not complete when it does not provide an overview of your foundation...
Undergraduatexigogondakiii - Oct 11, 2017 / Holt - Oct 11, 2017
|'I had to stand strong, Independent and be my own self' - UGRAD statement essay
Undergraduatehadilakk - Oct 10, 2017 / hadilakk - Oct 11, 2017
|Equality in sport, topic of importance essay.
3 - Chinenye, here is the thing, your title indicates that you are compassionate about having equal rights for all people....
UndergraduateChichi9 - Oct 10, 2017 / Holt - Oct 11, 2017
|Give a brief description of your professional background and current work
3 - Taliat, you need to present your information in a chronological manner that will better help the reader to understand...
UndergraduateTaskat - Oct 10, 2017 / Holt - Oct 10, 2017
|Common App Essay Prompt #2 - My first Judo tournament and overcoming failure
2 - Josh, the essay had a very strong start. It was engaging and imaginative. It gave me an idea of...
UndergraduateJMiranda00 - Oct 10, 2017 / Holt - Oct 10, 2017
|Something that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
4 - Maida, your essay is good but confusing because it focuses on 2 different topics within one essay. Rather than...
Undergraduatemadiefarts123 - Oct 9, 2017 / Holt - Oct 10, 2017
|My path. I am applying for UGRAD, someone review my statement.
Undergraduatehadilakk - Sep 24, 2017 / hadilakk - Oct 9, 2017
|How Teamwork Changed My Life (Common App Prompt 1)
5 - @md1234 I think it is a great essay. i really like the topic selection and your way of writing....
Undergraduatemd1234 - Oct 8, 2017 / madiefarts123 - Oct 9, 2017
|How would you engage the mission of Trinity College during your years on campus? Essay Prompt.
Undergraduatemuskanshrestha - Oct 7, 2017 / muskanshrestha - Oct 9, 2017
|UGA admissions essay: Tell an extraordinnare story which you didn't mentioned in your application
3 - Madison, don't use a third grade reference to respond to this essay. That is such a childish undertaking that,...
UndergraduateMaddyDuv - Oct 8, 2017 / Holt - Oct 9, 2017
|Writing about significant challenge in life or something important that didn't go according to plan.
3 - Sardor, this prompt is one that seeks to learn your ability to deal with stressful situations. The story you...
Undergraduatemadeinheaven - Oct 8, 2017 / Holt - Oct 9, 2017
|The quiet time. What is important to you and why essay
5 - @Chichi9 Religion is a really sensitive topic. The reviewer could even be of a different religion. I suggest...
UndergraduateChichi9 - Oct 5, 2017 / Lauretta - Oct 8, 2017
|'If you feel it so you can do it' - background/story essay
6 - Hi Johana, you can definitely stick with math for the topic. But you would need to develop characters and...
UndergraduateJohana - Oct 7, 2017 / Jimmy879873 - Oct 8, 2017
|To Complete a Masterpiece (CommonApp Essay)
5 - Hello! Your essay was a great read, but I think it would better suit on these prompts: Some students...
Undergraduatefairaque - Sep 27, 2017 / muskanshrestha - Oct 7, 2017
|Obstacles turned around - should I write about this topic or is it TMI
3 - @Holt I appreciate the feedback. I am trying to use this essay for both common app and coalition app,...
Undergraduateteufs - Oct 7, 2017 / teufs - Oct 7, 2017
|MasterCard foundation. Topic of importance essay.
3 - Chinenye, this is truly a subject of importance to you. However, the message that is delivered does not tell...
UndergraduateChichi9 - Oct 5, 2017 / Holt - Oct 5, 2017
|Essay on Significant experience or situation that changed my belief or thinking and why.
2 - Chinenye, this is a good draft that has room for improvement and additional information. Before I launch into that...
UndergraduateChichi9 - Oct 4, 2017 / Holt - Oct 5, 2017
|Ideal candidate for FIT? Fashion Institute of Technology Admissions Essay - Fashion Design
4 - @Holt Thank you very much, I will redraft my essay based on your notes, I mentioned guiding and Latin...
Undergraduateemmarose11 - Oct 4, 2017 / emmarose11 - Oct 4, 2017
|NYU TISCH- Describe an event in your life and how it changed you or someone close to you
4 - Lia, this is nothing more than a creative writing exercise on your part. It does not appropriately address any...
Undergraduatesun24 - Oct 3, 2017 / Holt - Oct 4, 2017
|Kiwis Cant Fly. I read that in a bird book once. Common App Essay
5 - @admission2012 @Holt Thanks so much for the feedback. I took it into consideration and agreed with admission2012. I have...
UndergraduateKiera9473 - Sep 22, 2017 / Kiera9473 - Oct 4, 2017
|Write on a topic that is of importance to you and reflects who you are. Maximum 500 words
3 - Please make this thread Urgent for a subsequent reply, thank you! Please I don't really understand your response. How...
UndergraduateBetsyy - Oct 1, 2017 / Betsyy - Oct 3, 2017
|How would your family, friends, and/or members of your community describe you?
2 - Elizabeth, you missed out on the description of how your community might describe you in the essay. You can...
UndergraduateBetsyy - Oct 3, 2017 / Holt - Oct 3, 2017
|I am attracted by the faculty and Co-op program, fascinated by the school spirit in Georgia Tech
2 - Zhenghang, I am not sure what you mean by "high cost performance". Do you mean you want to attend...
UndergraduateHu Zhenghang - Oct 3, 2017 / Holt - Oct 3, 2017
|"Counting My Steps" - OCD Personal Narrative for a Formal Essay assignment
3 - Nicholas, when you type words written in a foreign language you must always include the English translation in a...
Undergraduatendushaj01 - Oct 2, 2017 / Holt - Oct 3, 2017
|My goal is to continue to volunteer with JAAC. US - Jamaican connection
2 - Logan, how I wish that you had given me some inkling as to what this personal statement is all...
UndergraduateAndrew3000 - Oct 1, 2017 / Holt - Oct 2, 2017
|Having access to the modern methods and advanced technology of producing agriculture in Australia
Undergraduatekhanhnguyen - Sep 30, 2017 / khanhnguyen - Sep 30, 2017
|Academic English - cannot enjoy writing anymore
4 - Adriana, remember that all sentences need to meet the subject-verb agreement requirement, your sentence that says, we can our...
Undergraduateadriana victoria - Sep 29, 2017 / Holt - Sep 30, 2017
|Reflective Essay that tells a story of who you
2 - Nathan, there is no catalyst nor reason for your story. At first, I thought this was a gender coming...
UndergraduateHaloBeam - Sep 29, 2017 / Holt - Sep 30, 2017
|Explain in detail what you aim to learn within your college of choice (APM/APS) / relation to future
3 - I've done a new version, could you check it out? Since working for an international company, contributing my...
UndergraduateKaitoNgx - Sep 28, 2017 / KaitoNgx - Sep 29, 2017
|ROLE MODEL: prompt of my own design
Undergraduatepds2027 - Sep 22, 2017 / pds2027 - Sep 29, 2017
|I believe Georgia Tech is a prestigious university for its innovative education learning styles
4 - Oh my bad, here is the prompt: Beyond rankings, location, and athletics, why are you interested in attending...
UndergraduateAyushK - Sep 27, 2017 / AyushK - Sep 28, 2017
|Tell us about who you are. UBC Personal Profile Question - Admission Essay
3 - Shirley, since you did not actually achieve anything of remarkable importance as a fledgling figure skater, the reviewer will...
Undergraduateqinshirl - Sep 28, 2017 / Holt - Sep 28, 2017
|I'm the HongKonger in China
Undergraduatemiz_christy - Sep 26, 2017 / miz_christy - Sep 26, 2017
|I am not meant to be a writer. (Common App Essay)
2 - Maya, this is a very impressive and well developed essay. I am sure you already knew that because you...
Undergraduatemayamartin - Sep 26, 2017 / Holt - Sep 26, 2017
|Peace Corps wants to assess your professionalism and maturity as a candidate
3 - @Holt thank you for insight. I agree that the things you mentioned are definitely missing. But as I have...
Undergraduatetjrayhill56 - Sep 24, 2017 / tjrayhill56 - Sep 25, 2017
|QuestBridge Essay - An Intriguing Topic, Theory, or Concept That You Find Intriguing (500 words)
3 - Ayush, the last sentence in your essay that start with "And to think..." is actually not necessary in the...
Undergraduateessaywriter230 - Sep 25, 2017 / Holt - Sep 25, 2017
|I am running for secretary in my FFA class end this is my essay
2 - Luis, this is not a very good campaign speech. If you do not know what your good qualities are...
UndergraduateBatdini - Sep 23, 2017 / Holt - Sep 23, 2017
|First college essay. Requirements in WHO AM I ESSAY
3 - Mathew, with 3 pages to write this reflective narrative you could have come up with a more engaging and...
UndergraduateWoodstock17 - Sep 21, 2017 / Holt - Sep 22, 2017
|Making something with the usage of a duct tape; interests, talent, identity essay
3 - How does this sound after some editing and stuff? (Also thanks so much for the help!!!) Favorite pastime?...
Undergraduaterainbowrocker12 - Sep 6, 2017 / rainbowrocker12 - Sep 21, 2017
|'In my life, i have experienced many events that didn't': Three essays in one thread-MIT application
5 - @Holt thanks a lot for your review. i did the second essay with what you suggested, here it is...
UndergraduateGamma - Sep 20, 2017 / Gamma - Sep 21, 2017
|Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a new understanding of yourself.
2 - Patson, what you have written is perfect for an open topic essay discussion in the common app prompt since...
Undergraduatepdaka1 - Sep 20, 2017 / Holt - Sep 20, 2017
|I transferred into UConn from a small school. Applying for readmission essay
2 - Rebecca, I understand that this is a draft of the essay, which is why the presentation is still all...
Undergraduatebellab - Sep 20, 2017 / Holt - Sep 20, 2017
|Describe a difficult or challenging situation you have faced.
3 - Patson, the difficult situation is clear. However, you focused so much on your mother's illness that the essay became...
Undergraduatepdaka1 - Sep 19, 2017 / Holt - Sep 20, 2017
|Unable to fail, raised under the principle of hard work. Texas application
Undergraduatemariahdz16 - Sep 18, 2017 / mariahdz16 - Sep 19, 2017
|Korean language learning - a good personal statement?
2 - Richard, for starters, please remove all of the references that you wrote in all caps and change those to...
Undergraduaterisadego - Sep 19, 2017 / Holt - Sep 19, 2017
|Courageous Individual With Passion
2 - Teng, this is a very generic personal statement. It does not capture the reviewers attention nor does it relay...
Undergraduatepg13Taiwan - Sep 18, 2017 / Holt - Sep 19, 2017
|UVA Supplement: The word "push" is my favorite and reminds me that I shouldn't give up.
3 - Holt, thanks for the comment. Your comment was very helpful. By the way, I made a new version. Sorry,...
Undergraduaterowliejohnflores - Sep 17, 2017 / rowliejohnflores - Sep 19, 2017
|Quest Bridge Biographical Essay for College Admission
5 - @Holt I can't thank you enough for your response. Everyone I asked to remark on my essay told me...
UndergraduateDenyingerrors - Sep 18, 2017 / Denyingerrors - Sep 18, 2017
|Common app prompt 5 college application essay : opening new doors.
2 - Ben, do not focus on the pre-travel events. Focus on the travel events instead. Remember, the essay is asking...
Undergraduatebenh44 - Sep 17, 2017 / Holt - Sep 18, 2017
|Area of Emphasis Essay - Film
3 - Sabrina, what prompt are you trying to respond to? It is really difficult to review your statement since I...
Undergraduatesourcandy888 - Sep 17, 2017 / Holt - Sep 18, 2017
|Common App Essay: I'm Human (topic of your choice)
3 - Aman, these traits do not make you human, these traits make you a good person. Here is the thing,...
Undergraduateamanichopra - Sep 16, 2017 / Holt - Sep 17, 2017
|Commonapp Essay: Gaining control of my life
UndergraduateWulf - Sep 16, 2017 / Wulf - Sep 16, 2017
|Storyteller. MIT Admission Essay - Something you do for the pleasure of it.
5 - Jenna, you are not so much a storyteller in this narrative as you are a keeper of memories. I...
Undergraduatejenna8765 - Sep 14, 2017 / Holt - Sep 15, 2017
|Common app personal statement-- Overcoming failure at my dream school
2 - Anna, I would open with the rejection from Bak first. Then work my way back to the audition situation....
Undergraduateaevans872 - Sep 13, 2017 / Holt - Sep 14, 2017
|(Obtaining a college degree) Ubc personal profile: What is important to you and why? Max 250 words.
4 - I thought what you value most will be your relationship with your parents because you seemed to put a...
UndergraduateBetsyy - Sep 12, 2017 / tiffanytw - Sep 13, 2017
|Child Abuse: How "Wolf Children" Changed my Worldview (Commonapp)
4 - This essay should fit he prompt - Creative work/art/fictional character that has had an influence on you. In my...
UndergraduateWulf - Sep 12, 2017 / jason321 - Sep 13, 2017
|The Common App Essay - Topic 2 - Failure and experience for the future
6 - I think you can use the beginning of the second paragraph 'The class went silent' as a hook for...
Undergraduatevan94 - Aug 25, 2017 / jason321 - Sep 13, 2017
|Texas A&M. There are many reasons as to why I chose specifically to apply to this major
2 - Raul, just as with any statement of purpose, you need to explain why you feel like you need to...
UndergraduateFutureAggie5619 - Sep 12, 2017 / Holt - Sep 13, 2017
|That I May Serve... Undergraduate Class of 2018 Review
2 - Jess, the essay tells of your experience as a volunteer at various organizations, but it does not speak of...
Undergraduatejlee18 - Sep 12, 2017 / Holt - Sep 12, 2017
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