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|When I first learned to read, I struggled; Common App
3 - In order to really show your love of reading and books, maybe choose some book that has been important...
Undergraduatecatdammerj12 - Dec 8, 2012 / lilyraquel52 - Dec 30, 2012
|Fascination with Eye Contact; Yale Supp/ learn more about you
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 29, 2012 / katev - Dec 30, 2012
|English was not my first language; Essay on a novel I wrote
Undergraduateloreliag - Dec 30, 2012 / aks1 - Dec 30, 2012
|Chinese poetry; Stanford Supp - intellectual vitality and Chinese
8 - Hello! Please don't say that. I am happy that my suggestions helped :) I love your essays so I...
Undergraduatednx2000 - Dec 25, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 30, 2012
|The perfect balance of everything; U Chicago/ Why?
11 - Okay. They give you a prompt. You list out the answer 1,2,3. How many people that applied to Chicago...
Undergraduateyuzec95 - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|Waiting for Godot by Samul Backett; Columbia/MEANINGFUL BOOK
2 - In your real format be sure to italicize the titles, so the readers can read with more flow ;)...
Undergraduatewind5 - Dec 30, 2012 / umecollege - Dec 30, 2012
|Diverse nurturing environment/ Dynamic Urban life; Why Chicago U?
2 - The University of Chicago emphasizes the ideas of those that attend the university. UChicago KNOWS all of its statistics...
Undergraduatearguanoid - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|NYU economics program; NYU sup/ Academic Interests
10 - Thank you so much for your input on my essay! Honestly, there's nothing I could say about yours..It's amazing...
Undergraduatealicederp - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|My cousin was diagonozed with Cervical cancer; Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatedqmonster - Dec 30, 2012 / arguanoid - Dec 30, 2012
|"Since we're all going to die".....UVA
6 - @alicederp Oops! I meant to take that part out! It was crossed out on Microsoft Word, but not on...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|RACISM; Issue of personal, local, national or international concern
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|Oh, Love for Literature, Where Are Thou?; Common Application "Main Essay"
6 - Just a little mistake: Sipping my coffee while flipping through the daily issue of The Washington Post, one title...
UndergraduateTranLePhu - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|Dancing Teacher; Career Goal Essay
NEW - Throughout my entire high school experience, I have learned more about myself as well as what my personal strengths...
Undergraduateballetdncr3895 - Dec 30, 2012 / — -
|We moved to back to Baltimore ; UVa SUP; World you come from?
UndergraduateLarryHoover - Dec 30, 2012 / LarryHoover - Dec 30, 2012
|I kept silent about my sickness; UCHICAGO Supp - (SILENCE)
9 - Hi there, Firstly, "The campus experience was great, but I lack the class experience. My past experience has...
Undergraduatekabal - Dec 23, 2012 / alicederp - Dec 30, 2012
|"Dancing Down a Winding Road"- Stanford Future Roomate Essay
2 - You voice and personality really shows in this essay. You seem very live and joyful yet very thoughtful haha....
Undergraduatemeagannh11 - Dec 30, 2012 / umecollege - Dec 30, 2012
|I volunteered as a camp counselor ; Syracuse / work experience
2 - Being a counselor gave mecame with a lot of responsibilities. Through this experience, I also feel that I improved...
Undergraduaterunnerb - Dec 30, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 30, 2012
|NYU-Poly Supplement Question "How are you a 'Poly-thinker'?"
UndergraduateAllenduncare - Dec 30, 2012 / alexzxz - Dec 30, 2012
|Opportunity to study science & arts, diverse interests; Carnegie Mellon / Why?/ Goals
2 - "The reason why I chose Carnegie Mellon is that it gives students the opportunity to pursue a path of...
Undergraduateieleen - Dec 30, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 30, 2012
|passion for business, international diplomacy/Penn(Wharton) Sup; Engage academically?
8 - Hi there, "Responding to this concern, I spearheaded a paperless Board Office, saving $20,000 annually, making a significant...
Undergraduatehellogoodbye - Dec 29, 2012 / alicederp - Dec 30, 2012
|Renee Smith did come out; Personal Statement
2 - Nice essay but I think you have to mention a little more about how she influenced your personal life....
Undergraduatealexnsmith - Dec 30, 2012 / Bikash2013 - Dec 30, 2012
|I formed a five-girl team; CommonApp- Significant experience
Undergraduateyisha - Dec 26, 2012 / yisha - Dec 30, 2012
|This clarified my attraction to physics; Columbia: Attraction to specific field.
2 - Wow! This is really good. Personally, I cannot find anything wrong with it. My only suggestion is to...
UndergraduateBlackWaltzIV - Dec 29, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 30, 2012
|Old Man and The Sea / Columbia University supp/ Meaningful book
8 - For the second essay, elaborate more on what Columbia has to offer you. You keep praising Columbia, but be...
UndergraduateUdensi - Dec 29, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|"Happiness is a choice"; Stanford Supp - Letter to Roommate
9 - This is cute but a little bit too 'I AM GOING TO SHOVE HAPPINESS DOWN YOUR THROAT WHETHER YOU...
Undergraduatekellyjanemartin - Dec 30, 2012 / mayfl0wer - Dec 30, 2012
|MY BAG - Stanford Supplement/What matters to you?
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Dec 30, 2012 / headshot0313 - Dec 30, 2012
|GRANDFATHER - my first teacher - person who influenced me
9 - Great work, but maybe remove an anecdote or two and elaborate on more on what you've learned or how...
Undergraduateblack and white - Dec 28, 2012 / jfloyd1879 - Dec 30, 2012
|"I want to be a lawyer" ; Why Hamilton?
Undergraduateluying9682 - Dec 30, 2012 / yisha - Dec 30, 2012
|I want to follow the steps of my brother; UChicago / Satisfying my desire
Undergraduatejonathanavila95 - Dec 15, 2012 / shmegg - Dec 30, 2012
|Travel and discovering new places; Cornell University:College of Human Ecology Essay
2 - I aspire to travel the world, discovering places that are new to me. In doing so, my eyes will...
UndergraduateWescobar16 - Dec 29, 2012 / aceq - Dec 30, 2012
|To me, science is a way of thinking, a passion, and so much more; NYU/ What program?
Undergraduatealan459 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|New sense of bipartisanship/Ten things ; Stanford; Intellectual Vitality/Roommate
4 - Try not to give off a negative connotation. Saying "good luck with ..." isn't very friendly. I know...
Undergraduatesarahjackson123 - Dec 30, 2012 / yuzec95 - Dec 30, 2012
|The Alchemist ; NYU /What intrigues you?
13 - Good essay overall. This allowed me to earn the leadership roles I wanted, such as senior class vice president,...
Undergraduatesalehrama10 - Dec 30, 2012 / ticklelisaelmo - Dec 30, 2012
|I'm different form my Mom; Significant influence (Person)
6 - I have talked to numerous college counselors as well as admissions directors (My uncle is the admissions director for...
UndergraduateBriJ - Dec 30, 2012 / HarvardAccept - Dec 30, 2012
|Christmas Eve dinner; UChicago - Invent A Past For Present Supplement
23 - I really appreciate this essay and your imagination. I think it would be better if you shorten it a...
Undergraduateenigma33 - Dec 30, 2012 / Bighall - Dec 30, 2012
|'Pakistani culture and daugters' - WHY NYU
Undergraduateqr1995 - Dec 30, 2012 / qr1995 - Dec 30, 2012
|Feel real/Citizens of the world; Princeton Supplement;Culture/Speech of Woodrow
14 - Personally I think the second is better. You could add more details and refine it a little bit more...
Undergraduateenigma33 - Dec 28, 2012 / Bighall - Dec 30, 2012
|Women in maroon BU scrubs; Boston University/ Why BU is a good fit?
3 - this is excellent. maybe talk more about why you have always wanted to be a doctor, other than the...
Undergraduateimbue - Dec 24, 2012 / tahanw13 - Dec 30, 2012
|Color / Stanford Roommate Essay
4 - I think sticking to the color is cool and will distinguish u from others .just try and modify it...
Undergraduatell931110 - Dec 29, 2012 / Udensi - Dec 30, 2012
|My duties towards the family; HAZ LA U SCHOL; Academic & Career Goals (Mexican Heritage)
2 - Hello, iamnicholas1 ! This is a well-written essay! You did a good job in describing your family and how...
Undergraduateiamnicholas1 - Dec 30, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 30, 2012
|Some live intellectually stagnant lives; Stanford Sup- What Matters and why?
5 - Basically the essay is real good..and the part where u talked about conan find how to put that at...
UndergraduateQWERTY1995 - Dec 29, 2012 / Udensi - Dec 30, 2012
|Like an antique picture of faded color- CApp/ An Ephiphany Moment/experience
UndergraduateNicholas Win - Dec 17, 2012 / Nicholas Win - Dec 30, 2012
|I'm not a man of enormous wealth; What do you add to Rice?
3 - Haha thanks! I was hoping people would get the BOM reference. The soundtrack is amazing! It's...
Undergraduateaqualad - Dec 30, 2012 / aqualad - Dec 30, 2012
|MOTHERHOOD AND MOTHER'S LOVE; NYU! WHAT INTRIGUES YOU?
Undergraduateqr1995 - Dec 30, 2012 / qr1995 - Dec 30, 2012
|Fantastic programs and diversity; Carnegie Mellon Sup/ Why Carnegie?
Undergraduatea608863a - Dec 26, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 30, 2012
|Essay on the remarkable Dr. Crenshaw; Common App
3 - Thanks for the comments. I redid most of the sentences you pointed out but I'll have to think of...
Undergraduatediebysenioritis - Dec 30, 2012 / diebysenioritis - Dec 30, 2012
|College adviser, Dr.Powell/ S yracuse supp/ Who & what influenced?
Undergraduatenayelojello - Dec 28, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 30, 2012
|I love chemistry; Cornell Supp - intended major
Undergraduatebatsarebats - Dec 30, 2012 / batsarebats - Dec 30, 2012
|"Summer Campus Days" ; Syracuse sup; Who or what influenced you?
Undergraduaterunnerb - Dec 28, 2012 / nayelojello - Dec 30, 2012
|Started reading quite early!/ Cornell App(Arts and Sciences) Evolution of Interests
2 - "such books was what I asked for"---> such books were what I asked for "may save villages ravaged...
UndergraduateDrachen - Dec 29, 2012 / LarryHoover - Dec 30, 2012
|Urban/Intimate/Diverse community/Excellent academic reputation ;BU- Good fit
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 30, 2012 / icanfly1 - Dec 30, 2012
|Economics, international diplomacy & Language/ Engaging Academically @ Penn(Wharton)
Undergraduatemayfl0wer - Dec 30, 2012 / CMB19932015 - Dec 30, 2012
|Explore,Indulge, Learn; Boston U; "Why BU"
3 - I think you could make the hook a little stronger, make the reader really want to delve in. Other...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Dec 26, 2012 / imbue - Dec 30, 2012
|I desire more diversity; Boston university sup: Why apply?
6 - I think you could make the first paragraph more concise and speak more about the things that you want...
Undergraduatetahanw13 - Dec 28, 2012 / imbue - Dec 30, 2012
|Educational and professional opportunities; NYU Essays~Why NYU and Academic Interests
5 - Hello Again! The second essay was too long, so I had to cut it down. (1493 characters--YAY!!!) Please let...
Undergraduatetess94 - Dec 30, 2012 / tess94 - Dec 30, 2012
|Ms Gearhart, my teacher; Person with significant influence
Undergraduatedieceased - Dec 30, 2012 / dieceased - Dec 30, 2012
|THEATER/ MOVIES; NYU /ACADEMIC INTEREST
4 - I feel as if these three sentences are somewhat awkward when read aloud. Maybe try and adjust the...
Undergraduatesalehrama10 - Dec 30, 2012 / yuzec95 - Dec 30, 2012
|Envl Club/Upgrade library/Not specific;UVirginia;Extracurricular/Project/Place
8 - When I saw this essay prompt, I was relieved but agitated at the same time. The answer came as...
UndergraduateAce1995 - Dec 29, 2012 / mayfl0wer - Dec 30, 2012
|Psychoanalysis/Pencil & Paper; NYU/ Academic interest?/ What intrigues you?
Undergraduatemargeparge - Dec 30, 2012 / yuzec95 - Dec 30, 2012
|Steve Prefontaine; Stanford Supp/ Future Roommate --
3 - i think you may have focused on running a bit too much here. admissions officers want to get to...
Undergraduateldkick - Dec 30, 2012 / mr_scottyt - Dec 30, 2012
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