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|X-box; Uchicago essay- The power of silence
UndergraduateJohann3000 - Dec 28, 2012 / kabal - Dec 28, 2012
|Leadership is an art, not a quality; North Carolina / Leadership
7 - Thanks to everyone who has posted their valuable comments. Below is my second draft. Please critique it. I am...
Undergraduateblack and white - Dec 28, 2012 / black and white - Dec 28, 2012
|Want to help children become confident; BOSTON COLLEGE SUPP: Service to Others
5 - xphyllisx While volunteering, I have seen that with proper guidance and encouragement can drive children to achieve beyond one's...
Undergraduatexphyllisx - Dec 26, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 28, 2012
|Effect of my Tricultural Background - HKU Personal Statement
7 - awesome, thank you very much. I had the same thought that listing so much stuff might be boring. I...
Undergraduatelinting2012 - Dec 27, 2012 / linting2012 - Dec 28, 2012
|Living alone has taught me to become more independent; Gap Year
2 - I was enrolled in to King Abdullah University The KGSP scholarship was established to assure a source of...
UndergraduateDabbagh - Dec 27, 2012 / Karla281995 - Dec 28, 2012
|change is good; William and Mary /type of person
4 - I liked everything except the beginning. It was almost a bit TOO honest, yknow. Apart from being a...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 28, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 28, 2012
|Near train accident; University of Illinois/something more
Undergraduatepainglintun - Dec 27, 2012 / painglintun - Dec 28, 2012
|I would be a neurosurgeon; JHU; Why did you choose the way you did?
Undergraduatesmashbro - Dec 28, 2012 / smashbro - Dec 28, 2012
|Course 2-A of mechanical engineering department of MIT is an ideal program for me
4 - rew2402 To fulfill my dream of achieving a profound kowledge in mech engr, i need to be graduated...
UndergraduateMillin Gabani - Dec 28, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 28, 2012
|Internship at the University of Technology PETRONAS; Cornell's Engineering
Undergraduatedavinia - Dec 28, 2012 / davinia - Dec 28, 2012
|Think of 'free' ; UNI OF MICHIGAN/COMMUNITY
2 - "Free software is a matter of liberty, not price. Think of 'free' as in 'free speech', not as in...
Undergraduateharryrohan - Dec 28, 2012 / joah5454 - Dec 28, 2012
|Shadowed a young Dermatologist; Boston University Accelerated Programs
2 - Awesome essay! It flows very well and answers all parts of the prompt. I cannot think of any suggestions....
Undergraduateimbue - Dec 28, 2012 / mela3 - Dec 28, 2012
|"I am a Cupcake" - Stanford Application "Letter to Your Future Roommate" Essay
3 - Carnegie Mellon Supp Essay --- Please critisize From a very young age I had a knack for Physics and...
UndergraduateTsprinkles - Dec 24, 2012 / Billo - Dec 28, 2012
|Biology Project : Stanford Intellectual Vitality
3 - Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual...
Undergraduatemannam - Dec 28, 2012 / joah5454 - Dec 28, 2012
|NYU is the perfect institution / Why NYU?
3 - No, the prompt is, ' NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students...
UndergraduateAnaury - Dec 28, 2012 / Anaury - Dec 28, 2012
|"Presidential Scandal" - Common App Essay
2 - This is a good essay and I really enjoyed reading it! Just wondering, but isn't the limit for the...
UndergraduateJessDoIt - Dec 28, 2012 / mannam - Dec 28, 2012
|Alleviating the pain in others; Johns Hopkins: Why did you pick this major?
6 - I suppose I am trying to say that I admire the compassion of doctors and aspire to become one...
Undergraduateimbue - Dec 28, 2012 / imbue - Dec 28, 2012
|My father suffered from a stroke ; Johns Hopkins "Something about yourself?"
5 - This is well written, but it does not appear to me as if you are writing about yourself. What...
UndergraduateJessDoIt - Dec 27, 2012 / imbue - Dec 28, 2012
|Saving lives of people; Johns Hopkins Supplement/ Why choose?
2 - Your essay looks good so far. However, aside from the one comment about Algebra 2, the overall piece sounds...
Undergraduatesjmzzz95 - Dec 28, 2012 / imbue - Dec 28, 2012
|Ranking,renowned faculty,programs& research opportunities; Columbia App:Why Columbia?
Undergraduatebsabrine - Dec 27, 2012 / enigma33 - Dec 28, 2012
|Medical school; William and Mary Sup;Unique and colorful?
Undergraduateksinha29 - Dec 28, 2012 / katev - Dec 28, 2012
|"I Want that Dot!"; Common App - influence from a historical figure
Undergraduatenatangesh - Dec 27, 2012 / enigma33 - Dec 28, 2012
|NYC a multi-faceted phenomenon/"Silk Road Market"; NYU Sup-short answers
2 - for the second part of your supplement you should describe how the new country affected you. not just what...
Undergraduatejaykay - Dec 28, 2012 / nayelojello - Dec 28, 2012
|"Why not try it all?";the motto; University of Rochester- meliora& why rochester
4 - I think that you should tell admisions how does the open cirriculum affect YOU! Because you pretty much described...
Undergraduatecristichica - Dec 28, 2012 / nayelojello - Dec 28, 2012
|"Culture refines us"; Princeton essay- Role of Culture!!
3 - I think your essay is very good. You are clearly quite intelligent and have a strong vocabulary. However, that...
Undergraduatesj1912 - Dec 27, 2012 / mela3 - Dec 28, 2012
|The child within me; Johns Hopkins Supp/ Tell us something about you
3 - I love this, it's super unique and very well written. However, it does seem a little inconclusive. Though I...
Undergraduatesjmzzz95 - Dec 28, 2012 / imbue - Dec 28, 2012
|Inside your mind/ UCHICAGO/ So, where is Waldo, really?
2 - I like your essay,but there are two major points that stick out to me. 1. It's very short. The...
Undergraduatecathygoesrawr - Dec 28, 2012 / imbue - Dec 28, 2012
|I'm freezing. ; Pomona sup
6 - THANK YOU!!...
UndergraduateCollegehopeful2 - Dec 28, 2012 / Collegehopeful2 - Dec 28, 2012
|"Half The Sky" is an inspiring and eye-opening novel; Columbia Sup/ "MEANINGFUL"
3 - Thanks! now that you pointed it out, "struggle" does kind of weird, i am gonna use a different word...
Undergraduatesilly278 - Dec 28, 2012 / silly278 - Dec 28, 2012
|How to use names of current students in an college admission essay?
5 - I've never seen them abbreviate their name to CU before, but if it saves characters, I don't think it's...
UndergraduateGuru - Aug 23, 2009 / nachismo - Dec 28, 2012
|Scale and size / NYU Supp/ What Intrigues you?
3 - Thanks a lot :), another revision Being into website development myself, something that intrigues me is Google. Having...
UndergraduateDragooon - Dec 28, 2012 / Dragooon - Dec 28, 2012
|Commitment and care; Lehigh/ Unique aspect
Undergraduateachen187 - Dec 28, 2012 / katev - Dec 28, 2012
|Leslie Chow; Letter to Roomate - Harvard Supplement
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Dec 28, 2012 / Mfrazzano - Dec 28, 2012
|" We are to conquer the world in pairs " ; Letter to future roommate
10 - Awesome essay! Your first sentence is a bit wordy , and you are missing some commas in the body...
UndergraduateSabahat - Dec 24, 2012 / mela3 - Dec 28, 2012
|Culture is its ideas, and its ability to change its ideas; Bard Supp/ Civilization
2 - Your introductory paragraph gives a strong start to the essay. You could use a smoother transition into your Women's...
Undergraduate13kkagan - Dec 27, 2012 / adyalas - Dec 28, 2012
|Loving supportive relationships with parents; Brown Supp (Something You Created)
4 - I definitely see what you both are saying, thanks for the feedback. I decided to try out a different...
Undergraduatenachismo - Dec 27, 2012 / nachismo - Dec 28, 2012
|Quest to Find Wisdom!; Common App
10 - I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main...
Undergraduatediabatem - Dec 25, 2012 / falks405 - Dec 28, 2012
|The Chariot of Insecurity/ Williams / looking through a window
4 - 1. you aren't even looking out a window 2. You're flowery writing is not going to make up for...
UndergraduateGenieo - Dec 17, 2012 / kevinmojica56 - Dec 28, 2012
|Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball
4 - a608863a: I thought his words merely meant the uncertainty in a soccer game in which the result of a...
Undergraduatea608863a - Dec 27, 2012 / falks405 - Dec 28, 2012
|At four I played the piano ; Statement of Intent/McGill U/ Schulich School of Music
5 - Thank you...
UndergraduateHeyitsJenn - Dec 27, 2012 / HeyitsJenn - Dec 28, 2012
|I became passionate for performing; NYU SUPP/ What are your own academic interests?
3 - How should i add more of the "Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how...
UndergraduateG1212 - Dec 28, 2012 / G1212 - Dec 28, 2012
|Hi I am from Bangladesh.. Williams Supplement essay
5 - I don't suggest toning it down, it what makes the essay stand out, and it makes you seem very...
UndergraduateMohaiminul - Dec 28, 2012 / kevinmojica56 - Dec 28, 2012
|I never liked to be out of the loop- NYU Supplement/ What Intrigues You?
3 - When describing the news be more descriptive, like say the channel or something. When you say now i realized...
UndergraduateFelicia1995 - Dec 28, 2012 / nounouboo - Dec 28, 2012
|City of divers cultures/Anesthesiologist;NYU Supp;Campus of choice/Academic interests
UndergraduateJojolocomoco - Dec 28, 2012 / Jojolocomoco - Dec 28, 2012
|Assistant Coach (Soccer); Common App / Work experience
2 - worth nothing more than the community service hours and the satisfaction experienced from helping others. When I first read...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 28, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 28, 2012
|"For Christ and His Kingdom"; Wheaton Supp/ Why Wheaton?
Undergraduatebymyside4948 - Dec 27, 2012 / therese - Dec 28, 2012
|I promise to continue it; common app- judo
3 - Thank you so much! You don't know how much I appreciate the feedback. I agree, it seems choppy and...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Dec 28, 2012 / malaikaiyer - Dec 28, 2012
|'Not tying myself to a tree' - Roomie Supplement.
2 - At first glance, I will appear like a shy girl who smiles and snickers at everything you may say....
Undergraduatecathy2595 - Dec 28, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 28, 2012
|Majoring in Math; Cornell Supplemen/ intellectual interests
UndergraduateMacrusa - Dec 27, 2012 / Macrusa - Dec 28, 2012
|I'm the epitome of "Peace in the Middle East"
6 - The first essay showed you are a thinker and you can analyze the world. It doesn't have to be...
Undergraduateabenelazar - Dec 27, 2012 / kabal - Dec 28, 2012
|Impeccable academics, breath taking view; Northwestern Sup- Why Northwestern?
3 - Nice essay! I love the fact that it's concise (especially when NU doesn't impose a word limit). Many seniors...
Undergraduatesjmzzz95 - Dec 28, 2012 / anon13 - Dec 28, 2012
|Taco that represents my family traditions; UNC Chapel Hill Supp- Comfort Food
6 - Great essay! You are a very creative writer and chef. My only suggestion is to consider expanding the...
Undergraduateylimewc - Dec 23, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 28, 2012
|Winning first place in Olympiad; Common App ; Significant experience
Undergraduaterroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|Close relationships/Professors/Excellent facilities; Lehigh Supp: "Unique aspect"
3 - Thanks! I like both of those suggestions. How does this look? "Currently, I can only dream of designing structures...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 27, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 28, 2012
|Bread freedom and social justice; Common app/ topic of your choice
3 - Hi malaikaiyer, could you please help with mine? (titled 'The Perks of Being Tenecious') mahmoudjendy - I think...
Undergraduatemahmoudjendy - Dec 28, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 28, 2012
|Exposure&Opportunities/Business/Artificial Heart; Why NYU/Interests/ what Intrigues
Undergraduatekwmsaj - Dec 27, 2012 / sunnybunny - Dec 28, 2012
|MIT essays - community/pleasure/department/personal quality
5 - prompt:Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 28, 2012
|Spanish major, College of Arts and Science/ Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatelexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012 / lexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012
|Distant cousins? I have never heard of them/ Boston college essay
6 - thankss! i'll edit it soon and then post the revised essay! thanks everyone! the prompt it's answering is common...
Undergraduatexpmichy - Dec 16, 2012 / xpmichy - Dec 28, 2012
|At 13 we moved to Cairo; COMMON APP_ Significant experience
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 27, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Dec 28, 2012
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