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|Commitment and care; Lehigh/ Unique aspect
Undergraduateachen187 - Dec 28, 2012 / katev - Dec 28, 2012
|Leslie Chow; Letter to Roomate - Harvard Supplement
Undergraduatechewbaccablack - Dec 28, 2012 / Mfrazzano - Dec 28, 2012
|" We are to conquer the world in pairs " ; Letter to future roommate
10 - Awesome essay! Your first sentence is a bit wordy , and you are missing some commas in the body...
UndergraduateSabahat - Dec 24, 2012 / mela3 - Dec 28, 2012
|Culture is its ideas, and its ability to change its ideas; Bard Supp/ Civilization
2 - Your introductory paragraph gives a strong start to the essay. You could use a smoother transition into your Women's...
Undergraduate13kkagan - Dec 27, 2012 / adyalas - Dec 28, 2012
|Loving supportive relationships with parents; Brown Supp (Something You Created)
4 - I definitely see what you both are saying, thanks for the feedback. I decided to try out a different...
Undergraduatenachismo - Dec 27, 2012 / nachismo - Dec 28, 2012
|Quest to Find Wisdom!; Common App
10 - I think would be nice if you put some introduce sentences firstly coz It will clearfy what the main...
Undergraduatediabatem - Dec 25, 2012 / falks405 - Dec 28, 2012
|The Chariot of Insecurity/ Williams / looking through a window
4 - 1. you aren't even looking out a window 2. You're flowery writing is not going to make up for...
UndergraduateGenieo - Dec 17, 2012 / kevinmojica56 - Dec 28, 2012
|Boston College Supplement Life is Like A Ball
4 - a608863a: I thought his words merely meant the uncertainty in a soccer game in which the result of a...
Undergraduatea608863a - Dec 27, 2012 / falks405 - Dec 28, 2012
|At four I played the piano ; Statement of Intent/McGill U/ Schulich School of Music
5 - Thank you...
UndergraduateHeyitsJenn - Dec 27, 2012 / HeyitsJenn - Dec 28, 2012
|I became passionate for performing; NYU SUPP/ What are your own academic interests?
3 - How should i add more of the "Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how...
UndergraduateG1212 - Dec 28, 2012 / G1212 - Dec 28, 2012
|Hi I am from Bangladesh.. Williams Supplement essay
5 - I don't suggest toning it down, it what makes the essay stand out, and it makes you seem very...
UndergraduateMohaiminul - Dec 28, 2012 / kevinmojica56 - Dec 28, 2012
|I never liked to be out of the loop- NYU Supplement/ What Intrigues You?
3 - When describing the news be more descriptive, like say the channel or something. When you say now i realized...
UndergraduateFelicia1995 - Dec 28, 2012 / nounouboo - Dec 28, 2012
|City of divers cultures/Anesthesiologist;NYU Supp;Campus of choice/Academic interests
UndergraduateJojolocomoco - Dec 28, 2012 / Jojolocomoco - Dec 28, 2012
|Assistant Coach (Soccer); Common App / Work experience
2 - worth nothing more than the community service hours and the satisfaction experienced from helping others. When I first read...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 28, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 28, 2012
|I promise to continue it; common app- judo
3 - Thank you so much! You don't know how much I appreciate the feedback. I agree, it seems choppy and...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Dec 28, 2012 / malaikaiyer - Dec 28, 2012
|'Not tying myself to a tree' - Roomie Supplement.
2 - At first glance, I will appear like a shy girl who smiles and snickers at everything you may say....
Undergraduatecathy2595 - Dec 28, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 28, 2012
|"For Christ and His Kingdom"; Wheaton Supp/ Why Wheaton?
Undergraduatebymyside4948 - Dec 27, 2012 / bymyside4948 - Dec 28, 2012
|Majoring in Math; Cornell Supplemen/ intellectual interests
UndergraduateMacrusa - Dec 27, 2012 / Macrusa - Dec 28, 2012
|I'm the epitome of "Peace in the Middle East"
6 - The first essay showed you are a thinker and you can analyze the world. It doesn't have to be...
Undergraduateabenelazar - Dec 27, 2012 / kabal - Dec 28, 2012
|Impeccable academics, breath taking view; Northwestern Sup- Why Northwestern?
3 - Nice essay! I love the fact that it's concise (especially when NU doesn't impose a word limit). Many seniors...
Undergraduatesjmzzz95 - Dec 28, 2012 / anon13 - Dec 28, 2012
|Taco that represents my family traditions; UNC Chapel Hill Supp- Comfort Food
6 - Great essay! You are a very creative writer and chef. My only suggestion is to consider expanding the...
Undergraduateylimewc - Dec 23, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 28, 2012
|Winning first place in Olympiad; Common App ; Significant experience
Undergraduaterroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|Close relationships/Professors/Excellent facilities; Lehigh Supp: "Unique aspect"
3 - Thanks! I like both of those suggestions. How does this look? "Currently, I can only dream of designing structures...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 27, 2012 / mylesd - Dec 28, 2012
|Bread freedom and social justice; Common app/ topic of your choice
3 - Hi malaikaiyer, could you please help with mine? (titled 'The Perks of Being Tenecious') mahmoudjendy - I think...
Undergraduatemahmoudjendy - Dec 28, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 28, 2012
|Exposure&Opportunities/Business/Artificial Heart; Why NYU/Interests/ what Intrigues
Undergraduatekwmsaj - Dec 27, 2012 / sunnybunny - Dec 28, 2012
|MIT essays - community/pleasure/department/personal quality
5 - prompt:Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 28, 2012
|Spanish major, College of Arts and Science/ Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatelexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012 / lexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012
|Distant cousins? I have never heard of them/ Boston college essay
6 - thankss! i'll edit it soon and then post the revised essay! thanks everyone! the prompt it's answering is common...
Undergraduatexpmichy - Dec 16, 2012 / xpmichy - Dec 28, 2012
|At 13 we moved to Cairo; COMMON APP_ Significant experience
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 27, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Dec 28, 2012
|I have spent my life delineating your face; UChicago Supp
UndergraduateCIEL - Dec 27, 2012 / CIEL - Dec 28, 2012
|Hispanic spirit; Grinnell App; Culture/People I like to get to know about?
5 - It is wonderful, the story is complete and interesting. However, I think it will be better if you...
Undergraduateago1209 - Dec 28, 2012 / hanksze - Dec 28, 2012
|"WAKE up, your liaison is here"; Common app/Short answer/
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 26, 2012 / sunnybunny - Dec 28, 2012
|To be immovable, movable, or to move: [UPenn Essay]
3 - I think you may have accidentally said there are seven Million people in the world instead of seven Billion...
Undergraduatekimbra09 - Dec 21, 2012 / bigpapi - Dec 28, 2012
|i was born in a small Indian village/ UIUC -Impact of past
3 - I have a few suggestions. It should be 'my father bought a computer', not 'brought'. It should be 'it...
Undergraduateayushgp - Dec 27, 2012 / black and white - Dec 28, 2012
|Drug use and my law school; Personal Statement
Undergraduaterocko - Dec 27, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 28, 2012
|Travel enthusiast; People I like to get to know better and why?
UndergraduateNathanblaze - Dec 27, 2012 / Nathanblaze - Dec 28, 2012
|SCARS; YALE Supp / say more about you
8 - 1) Haha, good luck with your impromptu topic! It's life-changing experience ;) 2) Well, I think many other...
Undergraduatesukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 28, 2012
|Playing Haegeum - Common App/ significant experience
2 - Hey, you do accurately address the prompt. But what I could get from your essay was that you love...
Undergraduateyycho0426 - Dec 28, 2012 / chewbaccablack - Dec 28, 2012
|"Bam, the market fell again"; UPenn - jerome fisher program/ Mangement & Technol
NEW - prompt : Discuss your interest in combining management and technology. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in business and...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 28, 2012 / — -
|Hey! My name is ------ ; Babson College Sup/ Roommate
Undergraduateshadow_master - Dec 27, 2012 / shadow_master - Dec 28, 2012
|My best friend passed away when I was 17- STANFORD exchange program
Undergraduatepprae - Dec 26, 2012 / pprae - Dec 28, 2012
|New York/ Oprah Winfrey ; Syracuse Supp/ Who or what influend applying?
5 - your essay seems good in general, just try to be a bit more specific about the reason of attending...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 27, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|We build our own "winery"; University of Toronto-Engineering / Extracurricular
Undergraduateago1209 - Dec 28, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|Understanding each other; Cornell Supplement_Intellectual Interest
2 - Hi buddy, I thinks its good,honestly ,I liked you introduction its kinda made a clear image of what you...
Undergraduatehaneom94 - Dec 27, 2012 / MustafaSalah - Dec 28, 2012
|At five I learned Chinese; Princeton supplement essay: Role of Culture in Life
UndergraduateSnowOhio - Dec 27, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 28, 2012
|Khushboo Gujarat Ki; MIT - Cultural Background
5 - I agree with other posters, it's hard to describe everything in 100 words. You should instead focus simply on...
UndergraduateMillin Gabani - Dec 27, 2012 / shadow_master - Dec 28, 2012
|Flexibility & Collaborativeness/ "We are not rich"; Tufts Supp; Curriculum/ Community
Undergraduatekoliva223 - Dec 28, 2012 / koliva223 - Dec 28, 2012
|Buffy the Vampire Slayer ; Common App- Character in fiction
3 - Thanks katev! I was considering having that line as a prelude to the essay. It probably isn't necessary....
Undergraduateaqualad - Dec 27, 2012 / aqualad - Dec 28, 2012
|I met Johnny/ A great coach; Common App
2 - (I don't quite follow the last sentence. I think the essay ends well without it.) I think your...
Undergraduatemfolkvord - Dec 27, 2012 / ago1209 - Dec 28, 2012
|I am drawn to international economics; UPenn App/ Engaging academically @ Upenn
2 - Your essay explains your academic engagement at Wharton strongly. However, it seems generic because there is less about how...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 27, 2012 / jaegoogle - Dec 28, 2012
|"Not everything is as it appears" ; Pomona College ; You have Five Minutes
2 - This is a very well written essay. I could not find any grammar mistakes except this very minor one:...
UndergraduateTidal Wave - Dec 27, 2012 / joah5454 - Dec 28, 2012
|I love being stubborn; MIT/ Characteristic
4 - The essay captures your emotion and passion, and most of all shows that you don't conform to what others...
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / painglintun - Dec 27, 2012
|Prombles I see in Bussiness; NYU App
UndergraduateChloemoon - Dec 27, 2012 / gdiazdeleon - Dec 27, 2012
|Mr. Granary; Common App / personal essay
3 - Your essay is unique, it talks about the precious moment you had with Mr. Granary and the experience gained...
Undergraduatebymyside4948 - Dec 27, 2012 / painglintun - Dec 27, 2012
|My own reflection; UCHICAGO/ Relationship between me and "ARCH NEMESIS"
UndergraduateRimwar - Dec 16, 2012 / Rimwar - Dec 27, 2012
|Eighth grade; Common App: Diverse Education
2 - I however, had never stepped foot into any school before for the purpose of learning. "I was blessed with...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 27, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 27, 2012
|White lab coats; CORNELL SUP/ How your interests influenced your major?
Undergraduatebuttercup321 - Dec 27, 2012 / ayue7890 - Dec 27, 2012
|Coach P made tough girls cry; Common App Essay
10 - I am not a good editor , but I still have some suggestions for your essay. 1.Your introduction should...
Undergraduatenorman2013 - Dec 26, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 27, 2012
|I have always felt a vocation towards business; NYU SUP/ Academic Interests
6 - I love the second one. For the first one, I would remove the bit about your successful business....
Undergraduategdiazdeleon - Dec 26, 2012 / Proran - Dec 27, 2012
|Opens opportunities; NORTHWESTERN SUPP. - WHY NU?
Undergraduateykang001 - Dec 27, 2012 / gdiazdeleon - Dec 27, 2012
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