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|Exposure&Opportunities/Business/Artificial Heart; Why NYU/Interests/ what Intrigues
Undergraduatekwmsaj - Dec 27, 2012 / sunnybunny - Dec 28, 2012
|MIT essays - community/pleasure/department/personal quality
5 - prompt:Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 28, 2012
|Spanish major, College of Arts and Science/ Cornell Supplement
Undergraduatelexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012 / lexirosengrant - Dec 28, 2012
|Distant cousins? I have never heard of them/ Boston college essay
6 - thankss! i'll edit it soon and then post the revised essay! thanks everyone! the prompt it's answering is common...
Undergraduatexpmichy - Dec 16, 2012 / xpmichy - Dec 28, 2012
|At 13 we moved to Cairo; COMMON APP_ Significant experience
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 27, 2012 / mahmoudjendy - Dec 28, 2012
|I have spent my life delineating your face; UChicago Supp
UndergraduateCIEL - Dec 27, 2012 / CIEL - Dec 28, 2012
|Hispanic spirit; Grinnell App; Culture/People I like to get to know about?
5 - It is wonderful, the story is complete and interesting. However, I think it will be better if you...
Undergraduateago1209 - Dec 28, 2012 / hanksze - Dec 28, 2012
|"WAKE up, your liaison is here"; Common app/Short answer/
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 26, 2012 / sunnybunny - Dec 28, 2012
|To be immovable, movable, or to move: [UPenn Essay]
3 - I think you may have accidentally said there are seven Million people in the world instead of seven Billion...
Undergraduatekimbra09 - Dec 21, 2012 / bigpapi - Dec 28, 2012
|i was born in a small Indian village/ UIUC -Impact of past
3 - I have a few suggestions. It should be 'my father bought a computer', not 'brought'. It should be 'it...
Undergraduateayushgp - Dec 27, 2012 / black and white - Dec 28, 2012
|Drug use and my law school; Personal Statement
Undergraduaterocko - Dec 27, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 28, 2012
|Travel enthusiast; People I like to get to know better and why?
UndergraduateNathanblaze - Dec 27, 2012 / Nathanblaze - Dec 28, 2012
|SCARS; YALE Supp / say more about you
8 - 1) Haha, good luck with your impromptu topic! It's life-changing experience ;) 2) Well, I think many other...
Undergraduatesukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 28, 2012
|Playing Haegeum - Common App/ significant experience
2 - Hey, you do accurately address the prompt. But what I could get from your essay was that you love...
Undergraduateyycho0426 - Dec 28, 2012 / chewbaccablack - Dec 28, 2012
|"Bam, the market fell again"; UPenn - jerome fisher program/ Mangement & Technol
NEW - prompt : Discuss your interest in combining management and technology. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in business and...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 28, 2012 / — -
|Hey! My name is ------ ; Babson College Sup/ Roommate
Undergraduateshadow_master - Dec 27, 2012 / shadow_master - Dec 28, 2012
|My best friend passed away when I was 17- STANFORD exchange program
Undergraduatepprae - Dec 26, 2012 / pprae - Dec 28, 2012
|New York/ Oprah Winfrey ; Syracuse Supp/ Who or what influend applying?
5 - your essay seems good in general, just try to be a bit more specific about the reason of attending...
UndergraduateKarla281995 - Dec 27, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|We build our own "winery"; University of Toronto-Engineering / Extracurricular
Undergraduateago1209 - Dec 28, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 28, 2012
|Understanding each other; Cornell Supplement_Intellectual Interest
2 - Hi buddy, I thinks its good,honestly ,I liked you introduction its kinda made a clear image of what you...
Undergraduatehaneom94 - Dec 27, 2012 / MustafaSalah - Dec 28, 2012
|At five I learned Chinese; Princeton supplement essay: Role of Culture in Life
UndergraduateSnowOhio - Dec 27, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 28, 2012
|Khushboo Gujarat Ki; MIT - Cultural Background
5 - I agree with other posters, it's hard to describe everything in 100 words. You should instead focus simply on...
UndergraduateMillin Gabani - Dec 27, 2012 / shadow_master - Dec 28, 2012
|Flexibility & Collaborativeness/ "We are not rich"; Tufts Supp; Curriculum/ Community
Undergraduatekoliva223 - Dec 28, 2012 / koliva223 - Dec 28, 2012
|Buffy the Vampire Slayer ; Common App- Character in fiction
3 - Thanks katev! I was considering having that line as a prelude to the essay. It probably isn't necessary....
Undergraduateaqualad - Dec 27, 2012 / aqualad - Dec 28, 2012
|I met Johnny/ A great coach; Common App
2 - (I don't quite follow the last sentence. I think the essay ends well without it.) I think your...
Undergraduatemfolkvord - Dec 27, 2012 / ago1209 - Dec 28, 2012
|I am drawn to international economics; UPenn App/ Engaging academically @ Upenn
2 - Your essay explains your academic engagement at Wharton strongly. However, it seems generic because there is less about how...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 27, 2012 / jaegoogle - Dec 28, 2012
|"Not everything is as it appears" ; Pomona College ; You have Five Minutes
2 - This is a very well written essay. I could not find any grammar mistakes except this very minor one:...
UndergraduateTidal Wave - Dec 27, 2012 / joah5454 - Dec 28, 2012
|I love being stubborn; MIT/ Characteristic
4 - The essay captures your emotion and passion, and most of all shows that you don't conform to what others...
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / painglintun - Dec 27, 2012
|Prombles I see in Bussiness; NYU App
UndergraduateChloemoon - Dec 27, 2012 / gdiazdeleon - Dec 27, 2012
|Mr. Granary; Common App / personal essay
3 - Your essay is unique, it talks about the precious moment you had with Mr. Granary and the experience gained...
Undergraduatebymyside4948 - Dec 27, 2012 / painglintun - Dec 27, 2012
|My own reflection; UCHICAGO/ Relationship between me and "ARCH NEMESIS"
UndergraduateRimwar - Dec 16, 2012 / Rimwar - Dec 27, 2012
|Eighth grade; Common App: Diverse Education
2 - I however, had never stepped foot into any school before for the purpose of learning. "I was blessed with...
Undergraduatemylesd - Dec 27, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 27, 2012
|White lab coats; CORNELL SUP/ How your interests influenced your major?
Undergraduatebuttercup321 - Dec 27, 2012 / ayue7890 - Dec 27, 2012
|Coach P made tough girls cry; Common App Essay
10 - I am not a good editor , but I still have some suggestions for your essay. 1.Your introduction should...
Undergraduatenorman2013 - Dec 26, 2012 / a608863a - Dec 27, 2012
|I have always felt a vocation towards business; NYU SUP/ Academic Interests
6 - I love the second one. For the first one, I would remove the bit about your successful business....
Undergraduategdiazdeleon - Dec 26, 2012 / Proran - Dec 27, 2012
|Opens opportunities; NORTHWESTERN SUPP. - WHY NU?
Undergraduateykang001 - Dec 27, 2012 / gdiazdeleon - Dec 27, 2012
|Best ranked liberal arts college/Swarthmore needs me; Why Swarthmore?
5 - thanks everybody! after applying to literally 6 other colleges, i just didn't give a F about writing this one,...
UndergraduateJessDoIt - Dec 27, 2012 / JessDoIt - Dec 27, 2012
|Ptolemy's Gate /bacteria/Martin Luther King ; Stanford Supp/ Short answers
2 - I advise just listing your favorite newspapers/magazines, etc. You don't by any means have to fill up the 300...
Undergraduatemgabir - Dec 27, 2012 / Birdiee - Dec 27, 2012
|Hunting the Hidden ; Columbia Supp- "what you found interesting..."
2 - Fractals: Hunting the Hidden Dimension, is a movie far from the works of Walt Disney. I'd first watched as...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Dec 27, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 27, 2012
|I followed my dad/ Johns Hopkins Supp/ Something about you
3 - bump 10 char...
Undergraduateayue7890 - Dec 26, 2012 / ayue7890 - Dec 27, 2012
|OLPC in Egypt; Extracurricular activitie/Work experiences
3 - meljendy I notice many mistakes on punctuation and capitalization. Why don't you try to edit it on MS...
Undergraduatemeljendy - Dec 27, 2012 / yycho0426 - Dec 27, 2012
|I have always wondered why my sister was so hypocritical; UGA/ About yourself
3 - ending sentence is a little weak.. also, you repeat "I have always wondered why my sister" in the first...
Undergraduatealexjan95 - Dec 27, 2012 / norman2013 - Dec 27, 2012
|Love-Hate Relationship while playing piano; Common App/ Extracurricular
5 - I appreciate everyone's responses!! I definitely need to play with it a lot more. Thank you for all the...
Undergraduatecofls12 - Dec 27, 2012 / cofls12 - Dec 27, 2012
|"Fatty-Tatty" Common App Essay
3 - alright thanks! I had a mini heart-attack when you somehow knew my last name... =__= forgot I had it...
Undergraduatekrnkevinc - Dec 27, 2012 / krnkevinc - Dec 27, 2012
|Exploring the minds of Yalies; Why Yale?
6 - I agree with the previous posts: Instead of listing several reasons (Yale classes, teachers, residential system, liberal curriculum,...
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 26, 2012 / cofls12 - Dec 27, 2012
|I was raised by my mother after my father left us; HARVARD SUPP
Undergraduatecreepingdeath66 - Dec 27, 2012 / creepingdeath66 - Dec 27, 2012
|SA 50 on 50 in a history test!; TANFORD- learning to learn (intellectual vitality)
4 - oh god. it was supposed to read 'began dancing around'. garba is an indian dance form btw. i wrote...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 25, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 27, 2012
|Research opportunities and the campus nature; UW- Madison/ Why UW-Madison?
UndergraduateShoko0229 - Dec 27, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 27, 2012
|Becoming a Chemical Engineer,my lifetime goal; University of Toronto/Why engineering?
NEW - What has inspired you to pursue an engineering degree and why would you like to study at the University...
UndergraduateJasmine Yan - Dec 27, 2012 / — -
|Ecology and Evolutionary Biology; Cornell CALS App / Your interests
4 - ylimewc Hi I am an entomologist and promote you to study a biology science instead of the fossils. ...
Undergraduateylimewc - Dec 27, 2012 / aqeel - Dec 27, 2012
|What part of us speaks to one genre, one beat, one sound? ; NYU supp- What intrigues?
4 - I really like your essay, but I'm a bit confused as to what intrigues you...at first it's music, but...
Undergraduatemalaikaiyer - Dec 27, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 27, 2012
|"Birthday"/ Joy it brought to my childhood; What is your favorite word and why?
5 - Thank you so much everyone! I really appreciate it! Haha, yes I am a pretty festive and cheerfule person..and...
Undergraduatevaleriadavila01 - Dec 27, 2012 / valeriadavila01 - Dec 27, 2012
|Serving others ; Stanford / What matters to you?
2 - "He was disappointed" takes away from the imagery of the second statement with its passive voice. ...
Undergraduatejessc8 - Dec 27, 2012 / sogoldman - Dec 27, 2012
|Neuroscience/ Helpful & Empathetic; Johns Hopkins Supp ; Pursue what?/ You
4 - (1) You should rephrase this sentence. "Once my teacher spoke to me and said, '...'" "My teacher once said...
Undergraduatemgabir - Dec 26, 2012 / diebysenioritis - Dec 27, 2012
|I am a teacher; University of Michigan-Ann Arbor
2 - Overall a solid essay! You just need to fix the little details. The word "teach" is a bit overused....
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Dec 27, 2012 / joah5454 - Dec 27, 2012
|Football team/ Chemical Engineering; University of Michigan/ Unique qualities
4 - to me, it seems so generic. they ask what specifically about the school of engineering interests you. maybe talk...
Undergraduatetannerscooter - Dec 27, 2012 / rubybuddha - Dec 27, 2012
|"I am an Albanian" ; Stanford: Writing a note to future roommate!
8 - thank you very much. i really appreciate this :) i will try to add smth more about my country...
Undergraduaterroni12345 - Dec 27, 2012 / rroni12345 - Dec 27, 2012
|Prepare me for success/NYU SUP; Why NYU? What intrigues you?
NEW - Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included). ...
Undergraduatefinleyg - Dec 27, 2012 / — -
|I had grown onstage; Common app/Significant Event/Experience
2 - This is pretty good! This is obviously not something that every student would write about, as not everyone has...
Undergraduatejlford - Dec 27, 2012 / Chris1395 - Dec 27, 2012
|My very first random act of kindness; U WISCONSIN-MADISON/ Unnoticed, but important
Undergraduatepqahpikachu - Dec 27, 2012 / sogoldman - Dec 27, 2012
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