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|My past connections to places; Bowdoin / Interests and experiences
4 - I corrected some grammar mistakes and added things to the paragraph. New Version: The past three years of...
Undergraduatelm24601 - Dec 26, 2012 / lm24601 - Dec 27, 2012
|"I won't speak much at first"; Stanford Essay-Future Roommate
2 - Awkward sentence. Don't think that merits a semicolon and your use of "revolutions" seems out of place ...
Undergraduatehannahdowdy - Dec 26, 2012 / katev - Dec 27, 2012
|The Game of Life / Common App topic # 1
Undergraduateyycho0426 - Dec 26, 2012 / yycho0426 - Dec 27, 2012
|My uncle calls me "Theoretik"; MIT App // Cultural Background // Pragmatic fami
3 - My uncle calls the "Theoretik," meaning dreamer. Despite his academic success, the Soviets denied him (an opportunity to learn,...
UndergraduateProran - Dec 26, 2012 / katev - Dec 27, 2012
|My MODEL CONTEST -- NYU App
UndergraduateChloemoon - Dec 25, 2012 / Chloemoon - Dec 27, 2012
|Life- A medley of happiness & sorrow;Bard college Sup;Short response-"True joy..."
2 - You must not blame others for the hard times in your life...The admissions staff doesn't expect this from...
Undergraduateayushhar4270194 - Dec 25, 2012 / shailendra redd - Dec 27, 2012
|Diversity/ YALE SUPP; Why Yale?/Short takers
Undergraduateswagswag - Dec 26, 2012 / katev - Dec 27, 2012
|Mec Eng/Renewable energy resources; Carnegie Mellon University / Department/Program?
2 - I look forward to studying in Carnegie Melon, to make a change that could hoping that one day I...
Undergraduatepainglintun - Dec 26, 2012 / UrgentHelp392 - Dec 26, 2012
|My Non-Diversity Form of Diversity; Colgate University/ About you/ Colgate Community
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 23, 2012 / jj93 - Dec 26, 2012
|I'M A POST-IT NOTE-BROWN SUP: What question could we gain the most insight into you?
2 - its a great essay, you sound very helpful in this essay and you proved it by helping edit mine....
Undergraduatetonton2college - Dec 26, 2012 / rocky432 - Dec 26, 2012
|I learned about Barnard College when my sister was waitlisted there; Barnard Supp
Undergraduateluckygirl2017 - Dec 15, 2012 / jozzie121893 - Dec 26, 2012
|Christopher Columbus / You want to be my friend; 2 Essays; Common App
UndergraduateZainRMian - Dec 26, 2012 / yycho0426 - Dec 26, 2012
|Korean traditional instrument, the Haegeum is what I play; Common App/Creative Work
Undergraduateyycho0426 - Dec 26, 2012 / yycho0426 - Dec 26, 2012
|The difference between raw egg and cooked egg/ Stanford sup/intellectual development
3 - Thanks!!...
Undergraduatesunny_joy - Dec 26, 2012 / sunny_joy - Dec 26, 2012
|"Boys dont play with dolls"/ Tufts supp/ Unwritten rules of society
Undergraduateatowns95 - Dec 25, 2012 / chillyp - Dec 26, 2012
|Opportunities/Mulan/Personal/Majored in unafraid/ Boaring Community; Barnard
5 - Having attended a co-educational school my entire life, I decided to take a different route for my last year...
Undergraduate0livegreen - Dec 24, 2012 / jozzie121893 - Dec 26, 2012
|Facile choice for me ; UNIVERSITY OF HONG KONG PERSONAL STATEMENT
2 - maybe u can cut off some part about your international life; u're just saying things over and over there...
Undergraduatebigchau - Dec 26, 2012 / UrgentHelp392 - Dec 26, 2012
|"from where we fall, we shall rise"; University of Illinois; past experience
Undergraduateaz10101 - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|The most prestigious; BU supp/ "Why Boston University"
Undergraduateachen187 - Dec 26, 2012 / Shoko0229 - Dec 26, 2012
|SCREAM-An artwork that has unsettled me/ UVA
5 - Bump ;)...
UndergraduateAngela336 - Dec 26, 2012 / Angela336 - Dec 26, 2012
|MUSIC AND VOLUNTEERING; PRINCETON SUPP; TWO SUMMERS/VACATIONS
3 - Thank you! Well with the first concern, it is supposed to be 2012... but the thing is that Princeton...
Undergraduatekoalabear - Dec 26, 2012 / koalabear - Dec 26, 2012
|I built many castles in the air; Stanford Essay/ Experience
Undergraduatehannahdowdy - Dec 26, 2012 / ding377 - Dec 26, 2012
|She was once an object of adoration; Stanford / Person who has affected me
4 - As people above suggest it is a bit too deceiving, however you have a good start. Try to make...
Undergraduatehannahdowdy - Dec 26, 2012 / abulkhair37 - Dec 26, 2012
|Want to become a Social Worker; HKU/ PERSONAL STATEMENT
5 - you did not talk about many of the things in the prompt (the chosen curricula, past working experience, career...
UndergraduateUrgentHelp392 - Dec 26, 2012 / bigchau - Dec 26, 2012
|"PERFECT" college for Business & Econ; Carnegie Mellon/ Major?
3 - As for my interests, which happen to be Business Administration and Economics,my goal is to combine my two interests,...
UndergraduateDJ3522 - Dec 26, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 26, 2012
|Stanford Supplement Essay- Letter to Future Roommate.
UndergraduateCLTSO13 - Dec 26, 2012 / Angela336 - Dec 26, 2012
|I misjudged the course/"Hyperactive" ; Stanford Supp/ intellectual vitality/ roomma
2 - Try to come up with an attention grabber, something that intrests the reader. It is an interesting program but...
Undergraduatemabuk50 - Dec 26, 2012 / hannahdowdy - Dec 26, 2012
|EXPRESSIONS; NYU Supp - What intrigues you?
10 - Your essay is very descriptive and I think you educate the reader about how significant a certain method of...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 20, 2012 / nogbutor17 - Dec 26, 2012
|Born in Miami & grew up in Beijing/ My World
3 - "Adrenaline flooded my veins and serotonin inundated my neurotransmitter." This seems a little out of the flow of the...
Undergraduate13579ben - Dec 26, 2012 / nowaysout - Dec 26, 2012
|"The Notebook" UVA Supp; (Discuss something you secretly like but...)
9 - i loved it! the last edited version is better then the first and it answers the prompt. could...
Undergraduateandrewnguyen - Dec 24, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 26, 2012
|Israel School- PERSONAL STATEMENT
2 - I think that the part about your baby modeling is completely irrelevant and can be left out. Other than...
UndergraduateOwnpudi - Dec 26, 2012 / achen187 - Dec 26, 2012
|Special Woman/ Benazir Bhutto;BARNARD SUPP; Good Match?/Historical Woman
NEW - A. How did you first learn about Barnard College and what factors have influenced your decision to apply? Why...
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|I build computers; Tufts / Celebrate your nerdy side
4 - @fishes and @ead300 could you please help me with my common app essay? It's titled 'An Unexpected Journey' thank...
Undergraduatepetemess95 - Dec 15, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 26, 2012
|Checkmate!, Online Chess; MIT App; Pleasure activity?
Undergraduateduquevan - Dec 26, 2012 / duquevan - Dec 26, 2012
|I began my presentation; Common app-significant experience
2 - Overall, I would say this is fairly good. It definitely looks like you grew from this experience. However, I...
Undergraduatejenmag - Dec 26, 2012 / remanemporor - Dec 26, 2012
|My father worked in a graveyard for my heavenly dreams; Princeton/Influential Person
5 - xphyllisx & sakin thank you very much for your feed back, it is much apprecitated. I will definitely include...
UndergraduateRez03 - Dec 26, 2012 / Rez03 - Dec 26, 2012
|Teaching kids at Islamic Center of Brighton Beach; Common App / Extracurricular
5 - "...before; the honor..." "...usual, I repeat; "Let's..." Both should have a colon instead of a semicolon....
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 26, 2012 / abenelazar - Dec 26, 2012
|Quiz bowl ; Common App; Extracurricular activity
Undergraduateremanemporor - Dec 26, 2012 / cavo8 - Dec 26, 2012
|I always enjoy discussions; Bowdoin / Intellectual Engagement
2 - You repeat the word "intellectual" twice in here; try replacing one with an another similar word. I...
UndergraduateWilliamWambua - Dec 26, 2012 / MiaB - Dec 26, 2012
|Why I chose Economics- Johns Hopkins Supplement
6 - oh actually...if that's the word limit, its going to be difficult to add a couple of sentences on that..hmm...
UndergraduateOppaOppa - Dec 25, 2012 / sailorjupiter - Dec 26, 2012
|Personal reward and satisfaction Why I want to become a nurse & further my education
2 - ummm, I read your essay it is definitely an honest piece with solid points but you could rephrase it...
Undergraduatektdahl - Dec 26, 2012 / sj1912 - Dec 26, 2012
|Saxophone player; UVA Supplement, Something You Secretly Like but pretend not to
UndergraduateReckoner234 - Dec 26, 2012 / Reckoner234 - Dec 26, 2012
|Political science/ Lived in 1 place/ rich&poor gap/ my club; BROWN supp/short answers
3 - Thanks for the suggestions, but I only have 300 characters to answer the question "have you always lived in...
Undergraduatekittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012 / kittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012
|MIT's Department of Mechanical Engineering; MIT App/program and why?
2 - how we can send current through a coil to transform electrical energy to mechanical as in a motor ...
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / komalshaheen19 - Dec 26, 2012
|I love analyzing ; BU supp/ Why BU?
3 - Thanks a lot!! I wasn't sure about some of the mistakes you corrected either..I appreciate :). Are you willing...
Undergraduatekittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012 / kittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012
|Dealing with people; Stanford / Intellectual vitality
UndergraduateKMMA - Dec 24, 2012 / KMMA - Dec 26, 2012
|3 Prompts; learned on my own/ ingredients of meaningful life/sure to uncertain
5 - Thanks!...
UndergraduateHahahala - Dec 24, 2012 / Hahahala - Dec 26, 2012
|Jutka's silence; UVA Supplement - Schindler's List
NEW - Please read and give any suggestions you may have! I hope you all had a merry Christmas! What...
Undergraduategmichski - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|My mom taught me how to meditate a few years ago; MIT App
Undergraduatecollegemaster - Dec 25, 2012 / MiaB - Dec 26, 2012
|'The longhouse children' - experience shaped me / COSMOS and my brother
5 - I agree with the previous comments. You need to start out with a much catchier hook/intro. Maybe try :...
Undergraduatesogoldman - Oct 28, 2012 / diabatem - Dec 26, 2012
|Quote by Barack Obama; UVA sup/ What piece of literature has unsettled you?
4 - I guess in regards to your act score, maybe speak about how reading about Obama's life has improved your...
Undergraduateachen187 - Dec 26, 2012 / xphyllisx - Dec 26, 2012
|THE WASHROOM WALL --COMMONAPP ESSAY: TELL US ABOUT A CHARACTER DEFINING MOMENT?
4 - i love the essay. i was captivated by the first half of it with your bathroom story. however when...
Undergraduatetonton2college - Dec 26, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|My three week family trip to China; Stanford App/ intellectual vitality
Undergraduatedreamer8 - Dec 25, 2012 / gmichski - Dec 26, 2012
|Doctor's office that inspired me to take up medicine; NYU Supp/ Academic interests?
3 - dont sound so certain in your essay. you have not already been admitted. try adding phrases like if i...
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 25, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|Cool Running ; NYU - What intrigues you?
2 - You said that they were a Jamaican bobsled team.. why are they training in Africa? Anyways, its pretty...
Undergraduatetbvirus - Dec 26, 2012 / achen187 - Dec 26, 2012
|Lego Cars; MIT App/ Pleasure activity
3 - Perhaps if you could connect how building is your way of expressing thoughts, it woudl be better....
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / chewbaccablack - Dec 26, 2012
|My name is Sae Buck Lim Won / Note to a roommate
3 - thank you MNJ! After reading your comment, I tried to start my essay in a different point of view.....
Undergraduateauro052594 - Dec 26, 2012 / auro052594 - Dec 26, 2012
|One of my top choices; Lehigh App
3 - @katev could you help me with mine?? (titled 'An Unexpected Journey') overall, I agree with the changes katev...
Undergraduateorangeapple006 - Dec 26, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 26, 2012
|Boston offers all important features to me; Boston University / Why BU?
11 - Perhaps on the second or third sentence, you may want to elaborate on the campus setting, why is it...
Undergraduatebr2pi5 - Dec 23, 2012 / tbvirus - Dec 26, 2012
|Courses/Outing Club/Low student-faculty ratio; Vassar Supp/ Why Vassar?
4 - Hi, So I am really confused about the 500 character limit. Really, they must be kidding. But I am...
Undergraduateklv94 - Dec 26, 2012 / orlaendoe - Dec 26, 2012
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