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|Teaching kids at Islamic Center of Brighton Beach; Common App / Extracurricular
5 - "...before; the honor..." "...usual, I repeat; "Let's..." Both should have a colon instead of a semicolon....
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 26, 2012 / abenelazar - Dec 26, 2012
|Quiz bowl ; Common App; Extracurricular activity
Undergraduateremanemporor - Dec 26, 2012 / cavo8 - Dec 26, 2012
|I always enjoy discussions; Bowdoin / Intellectual Engagement
2 - You repeat the word "intellectual" twice in here; try replacing one with an another similar word. I...
UndergraduateWilliamWambua - Dec 26, 2012 / MiaB - Dec 26, 2012
|Why I chose Economics- Johns Hopkins Supplement
6 - oh actually...if that's the word limit, its going to be difficult to add a couple of sentences on that..hmm...
UndergraduateOppaOppa - Dec 25, 2012 / sailorjupiter - Dec 26, 2012
|Personal reward and satisfaction Why I want to become a nurse & further my education
2 - ummm, I read your essay it is definitely an honest piece with solid points but you could rephrase it...
Undergraduatektdahl - Dec 26, 2012 / sj1912 - Dec 26, 2012
|Saxophone player; UVA Supplement, Something You Secretly Like but pretend not to
UndergraduateReckoner234 - Dec 26, 2012 / Reckoner234 - Dec 26, 2012
|Political science/ Lived in 1 place/ rich&poor gap/ my club; BROWN supp/short answers
3 - Thanks for the suggestions, but I only have 300 characters to answer the question "have you always lived in...
Undergraduatekittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012 / kittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012
|MIT's Department of Mechanical Engineering; MIT App/program and why?
2 - how we can send current through a coil to transform electrical energy to mechanical as in a motor ...
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / komalshaheen19 - Dec 26, 2012
|I love analyzing ; BU supp/ Why BU?
3 - Thanks a lot!! I wasn't sure about some of the mistakes you corrected either..I appreciate :). Are you willing...
Undergraduatekittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012 / kittykat22 - Dec 26, 2012
|Dealing with people; Stanford / Intellectual vitality
UndergraduateKMMA - Dec 24, 2012 / KMMA - Dec 26, 2012
|3 Prompts; learned on my own/ ingredients of meaningful life/sure to uncertain
5 - Thanks!...
UndergraduateHahahala - Dec 24, 2012 / Hahahala - Dec 26, 2012
|Jutka's silence; UVA Supplement - Schindler's List
NEW - Please read and give any suggestions you may have! I hope you all had a merry Christmas! What...
Undergraduategmichski - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|My mom taught me how to meditate a few years ago; MIT App
Undergraduatecollegemaster - Dec 25, 2012 / MiaB - Dec 26, 2012
|'The longhouse children' - experience shaped me / COSMOS and my brother
5 - I agree with the previous comments. You need to start out with a much catchier hook/intro. Maybe try :...
Undergraduatesogoldman - Oct 28, 2012 / diabatem - Dec 26, 2012
|Quote by Barack Obama; UVA sup/ What piece of literature has unsettled you?
4 - I guess in regards to your act score, maybe speak about how reading about Obama's life has improved your...
Undergraduateachen187 - Dec 26, 2012 / xphyllisx - Dec 26, 2012
|THE WASHROOM WALL --COMMONAPP ESSAY: TELL US ABOUT A CHARACTER DEFINING MOMENT?
4 - i love the essay. i was captivated by the first half of it with your bathroom story. however when...
Undergraduatetonton2college - Dec 26, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|My three week family trip to China; Stanford App/ intellectual vitality
Undergraduatedreamer8 - Dec 25, 2012 / gmichski - Dec 26, 2012
|Doctor's office that inspired me to take up medicine; NYU Supp/ Academic interests?
3 - dont sound so certain in your essay. you have not already been admitted. try adding phrases like if i...
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 25, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|Cool Running ; NYU - What intrigues you?
2 - You said that they were a Jamaican bobsled team.. why are they training in Africa? Anyways, its pretty...
Undergraduatetbvirus - Dec 26, 2012 / achen187 - Dec 26, 2012
|Lego Cars; MIT App/ Pleasure activity
3 - Perhaps if you could connect how building is your way of expressing thoughts, it woudl be better....
Undergraduateluky0ne - Dec 26, 2012 / chewbaccablack - Dec 26, 2012
|My name is Sae Buck Lim Won / Note to a roommate
3 - thank you MNJ! After reading your comment, I tried to start my essay in a different point of view.....
Undergraduateauro052594 - Dec 26, 2012 / auro052594 - Dec 26, 2012
|One of my top choices; Lehigh App
3 - @katev could you help me with mine?? (titled 'An Unexpected Journey') overall, I agree with the changes katev...
Undergraduateorangeapple006 - Dec 26, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 26, 2012
|Boston offers all important features to me; Boston University / Why BU?
11 - Perhaps on the second or third sentence, you may want to elaborate on the campus setting, why is it...
Undergraduatebr2pi5 - Dec 23, 2012 / tbvirus - Dec 26, 2012
|Courses/Outing Club/Low student-faculty ratio; Vassar Supp/ Why Vassar?
4 - Hi, So I am really confused about the 500 character limit. Really, they must be kidding. But I am...
Undergraduateklv94 - Dec 26, 2012 / orlaendoe - Dec 26, 2012
|My father is a photographer; Common App/Who had a significant influence
Undergraduateawakemysoul - Dec 24, 2012 / awakemysoul - Dec 26, 2012
|Business and Management/ NYU Supp/ Programs & Interests?
Undergraduatetbvirus - Dec 26, 2012 / alicela - Dec 26, 2012
|Job as a pizza delivery driver - Common App Short Answer
5 - Love it! Well-written and attention-grabbing. The only suggestion I have would be a little more sentence variety. Quite a...
Undergraduatepenguincity23 - Dec 2, 2012 / ylimewc - Dec 26, 2012
|'Telekinesis' ; MIT short essay
6 - Thanks! I did my best and added a bit to the conclusion. However, due to severe lack of space...
Undergraduatednx2000 - Dec 24, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 26, 2012
|My dream school/Pediatrician/Library Assistant/Med school; Syracuse Sup
2 - Hey Im doing syracuse as well! I only have a few days left to start the supplements... yours have...
Undergraduatemjaayp - Dec 25, 2012 / bigchau - Dec 26, 2012
|Everyone loves the earth; Cornell CALS App- Environmental Science
3 - Thanks for your help!:) I've actually had a change of heart (and major). I've decided to go into Ecology...
Undergraduateylimewc - Dec 22, 2012 / ylimewc - Dec 26, 2012
|Sibling insecurity and much more -Common App/ Application essay
13 - I tend to like the other essay you wrote; the one about the apple. But that's my opinion. Also,...
Undergraduatezdv - Dec 13, 2012 / chessman567 - Dec 26, 2012
|Oh my god! We did? ; STANFORD Supp - Writing a letter to your future roommate
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 26, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 26, 2012
|Housework; MIT App /Pleasure Activity
Undergraduatelinting2012 - Dec 26, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 26, 2012
|"The Boy didn't know......." Princeton/ Quote that define you
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 16, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 26, 2012
|The Apple Incident; Common app
5 - thank you rocky for the feedback but unfortunately im not using this essay anymore. it would be great if...
Undergraduatezdv - Dec 1, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|Remarkable success; The Impact of NBK Academic program
NEW - Pls Critique my essay. It is due today. MAX words: 400 Briefly describe how you have been impacted...
UndergraduateChigozie - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|My friend Tim; Common App Essay Influence of a Friend
Undergraduatedragonmaster16 - Dec 25, 2012 / dragonmaster16 - Dec 26, 2012
|Nepalese Folk Stories; Lehigh supp/Values & Priorities
NEW - This is my supplement essay for lehigh, The prompt is below. I am exceeding word limit so if anyone...
Undergraduaterocky432 - Dec 26, 2012 / — -
|Basketball and me; Common App/Extracurricular activity
3 - Your essay is nice. But I think you shouldn't tell too much. You need to show. There are places...
Undergraduateabulkhair37 - Dec 25, 2012 / trangsix - Dec 26, 2012
|Watching Videos; MIT app; Pleasure activity
Undergraduateomeirx - Dec 25, 2012 / Anthony Robin - Dec 26, 2012
|The accident ; MIT Essay/Significant challenge
5 - The internet connection was a bit bad, delaying me from posting this post. I have made some revisions, so...
Undergraduatell931110 - Dec 26, 2012 / ll931110 - Dec 26, 2012
|Why did i cry ? ; Significant reality/What Matters Most
5 - although i could spiritually connect to this essay, it was hard for me to understand all the muslim words...
UndergraduateShamri - Dec 25, 2012 / zdv - Dec 26, 2012
|Cormac McCarthy /The Sunset Limited; Columbia supp/Books
3 - I don't know if the essay particularly fits with the prompt. The way I read the prompt is Columbia...
Undergraduatebigchau - Dec 26, 2012 / bigpapi - Dec 26, 2012
|Her hands move without voice; NYU Supp/ What intrigues you?
Undergraduatekomalshaheen19 - Dec 24, 2012 / tonton2college - Dec 26, 2012
|"Pre-implantation Genetic Diagnosis"; Stanford supplement- Intellectual vitality
5 - interesting post. What i have to say is that it takes a refreshing approach but the end seems underwhelming...
Undergraduatekarizma101 - Dec 24, 2012 / bigchau - Dec 26, 2012
|Ideological Divergence/Equitable Devlopment; Stanford sup/;Most significant challenge
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 26, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 26, 2012
|Forensic science & Chineese ; Cornell Sup/ Intellectual interests
Undergraduatekoliva223 - Dec 25, 2012 / tonton2college - Dec 26, 2012
|'An experienced election officer' - Stanford Intellectual Vitality--Election
5 - I agree with the above commenter, add a little more arguments you had with Linda to make the essay...
Undergraduatebonbon11 - Nov 22, 2012 / nair - Dec 26, 2012
|Successful Advertiser; MIT ; Which department/ program at MIT appeal to you and Why?
11 - the edited version is MUCH better. You kept it short, simple and never put too many facts in it....
Undergraduatemaomao315040 - Dec 14, 2012 / nair - Dec 26, 2012
|Boom Boom. Boom Boom. / What intrigues you? NYU
7 - Actually, the commenter above me is very wrong. The heart does not need directions from the brain. In fact,...
Undergraduateyvpartieduc - Dec 15, 2012 / MNJ - Dec 26, 2012
|Long boarding makes me happy : Tufts Supp/ "What makes you happy?"
3 - For me i think i through your descriptions i understood quickly that it made you happy. but just in...
Undergraduatechillyp - Dec 26, 2012 / cavo8 - Dec 26, 2012
|"There is no higher religion than human service........"/Bowdoin Sup/ Common good
4 - hey, firstly i like the way your wrote it... just work on the grammar lil more other wise its...
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 23, 2012 / omeirx - Dec 26, 2012
|"Running towards the goal with Football at my feet; MIT supplement essay; Pleasure
3 - Thanks for the comment. I will drop the two exclamations. But they don't take up space as words right?...
UndergraduateTAMEN - Dec 25, 2012 / TAMEN - Dec 26, 2012
|'Christine's inner-strength, optimism, studies' - Who is someone you admire?
Undergraduateluying9682 - Nov 26, 2012 / luying9682 - Dec 26, 2012
|I was participating in the competition; STANFORD/ Significant Experience
Undergraduaterov8 - Dec 25, 2012 / teddyliu - Dec 26, 2012
|Exercising/MIT's EECS /Initiativeness/; MIT Short Responses
Undergraduate13579ben - Dec 25, 2012 / moon05 - Dec 26, 2012
|I am six foot tall; Height and U Chicago
Undergraduatediabatem - Dec 19, 2012 / hongyen2192 - Dec 26, 2012
|I like to sleep, but I love to stay up late; Babson Supplement: Letter to Roommate
3 - I was hoping for something a little more critical than that! Were there parts that didn't flow well to...
Undergraduatelulwut - Dec 23, 2012 / lulwut - Dec 26, 2012
|Essay writing/MIT App/most significant challenge
2 - it has lots of potential... tho the topics might be common, its catchy and interesting and filled with voice,...
Undergraduatearunesh - Dec 25, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 26, 2012
|I love to learn new and explore new things; Cornell sup
2 - Overall, the one thing that your essay would benefit most from would be showing instead of telling. The essay's...
UndergraduateAna123 - Dec 25, 2012 / alicela - Dec 25, 2012
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