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|Huzzah! + Piano - Standford Supplements
5 - Thank you for your feedback. Can anyone please give me suggestions on how to improve the second essay?...
UndergraduateSilleth - Dec 25, 2012 / Silleth - Dec 25, 2012
|The ticking clock/ Personal Attribute
4 - It's a great essay! Your sentences go fluency. But you should tell more about your specific action, so the...
UndergraduateiGasph - Dec 25, 2012 / hongyen2192 - Dec 25, 2012
|EEC/ I crave for Computer & Math; MIT Short answer - which department/program & why?
UndergraduateMiaB - Dec 25, 2012 / 13579ben - Dec 25, 2012
|I made my first 125-miles trip to Munich. ; MIT App; Significant challenge
5 - The entire piece seems to be too choppy. Try varying your sentence structure and length so that it's fluid....
UndergraduateMyMichael - Dec 25, 2012 / 13579ben - Dec 25, 2012
|MY INTEREST ON STATISTICS-Cornell essay
13 - you got really nice advice and corrections above. I would def follow them. It was a good essay...
Undergraduateyisha - Dec 22, 2012 / karizma101 - Dec 25, 2012
|At a glance, I'm a quiet girl who smiles & giggles / Stanford supp; Roommate Letter
Undergraduatekarizma101 - Dec 23, 2012 / karizma101 - Dec 25, 2012
|Staying in the Light; Princeton Supp; favorite quotation from an essay
2 - Hey, I think it's a good essay. In his book Unwind, Neal Shusterman writes: "...One thing you learn...
UndergraduateAurora88 - Dec 24, 2012 / bi123 - Dec 25, 2012
|"First things first" ; Stanford Essay Supp-- The Fabled Letter to the Future Roomate
2 - you seem to use an excessive amount of parenthesis. Some of them are interesting with good information but I...
UndergraduateMicrono95 - Dec 25, 2012 / collegekid1567 - Dec 25, 2012
|Tennis has been my santuary and refuge of stres;Common App / Extracurricular activity
4 - i love playing tennis and relate with everything you say. well written! how about 'embodies' instead of 'engenders', or...
Undergraduaterteggroll - Dec 21, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 25, 2012
|S&P downgrading U.S. credit; Stanford - Intellectual Vitality
3 - Thank you so much for your comment, I'm not a native English speaker so I always have grammar problems....
Undergraduatehwjwill - Dec 24, 2012 / hwjwill - Dec 25, 2012
|What attribute of your personality are you most proud of...? MIT Essay
3 - for me it's more like 'department' essay rather than 'personality' essay, especially the closing sentence. i suggest you to...
Undergraduatecaiolp - Dec 22, 2012 / hotaru1007 - Dec 25, 2012
|Young lady named Kelly; Stanford Common App
4 - Really nice essay. The idea as well as the storyline is creative. Indeed a standing out essay :P...
Undergraduatedreamer8 - Dec 24, 2012 / Nicholas Win - Dec 25, 2012
|"Sit still; MIT optional and common app essay
Undergraduatearunesh12 - Dec 23, 2012 / MyMichael - Dec 25, 2012
|"My Escape"; Common App; The Experience of failing and how I changed!
5 - yeah agree... the ending really hit! but about the content, i think it's hard to be read. My first...
Undergraduatekevinll - Dec 24, 2012 / hotaru1007 - Dec 25, 2012
|*Tap Tap* that's what I hear when I'm clattering away at my computer; College Ess
Undergraduateayu0006 - Dec 24, 2012 / br2pi5 - Dec 25, 2012
|"Son, I am proud to be your mom"; Purdue Common App/ Autobiography
Undergraduateshailendra redd - Dec 23, 2012 / shailendra redd - Dec 25, 2012
|I lived in 10 different houses in 7 different cities in four countries;Tufts Supp
Undergraduatebellem1 - Dec 15, 2012 / fishes - Dec 25, 2012
|It was psychology that bailed me out ;the choice of psychology UIUC
2 - Dear Simon0228, Your essay is very good! It answers the prompt well. At some places it deviates from the...
UndergraduateSimon0228 - Dec 23, 2012 / black and white - Dec 25, 2012
|Students Stress! Causes; Changing jobs; Studying; Working; Health problems
Undergraduatewana94 - Dec 24, 2012 / wana94 - Dec 25, 2012
|I love weather in Boston, diverse environment; Boston U Supp/ Why apply?
2 - Great essay! It's persuasive, but somehow the wording seems awkward. I have dreamed in silence for so long,...
Undergraduatesakin - Dec 25, 2012 / Chloemoon - Dec 25, 2012
|Green Hope Cross Country team; NCSSM : Extracurricular/Community Service/Volunteer
2 - Wow, your experience is really rich. It would be better if you focus on one specific event to detail....
UndergraduateSAChedal - Dec 21, 2012 / Chloemoon - Dec 25, 2012
|My Passion & Desire; Princeton - Why Engineering
NEW - If you are interested in pursuing a B.S.E. (Bachelor of Science in Engineering) degree, please write a 300-500 word...
UndergraduateMillin Gabani - Dec 25, 2012 / — -
|"Is that a deal?"; Columbia U; Personal experience
2 - You had a couple of run on sentences. My immigrant parents, true businessman at heart, finds themselves with...
UndergraduateaLuckyStudent - Dec 24, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 25, 2012
|Disabilities - UNC @ Chapel Hill - What problem am I trying to solve?
3 - Thank you so much! In terms of YNOT, there is no abbreviation. It is supposed to represent 'Y...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 24, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 25, 2012
|Magic behind seemingly simple objects ; Cornell: Engineering Idea
NEW - Hi, all. I've just started working on my Cornell essay. The deadlines are closing in and I have...
Undergraduateraptor402 - Dec 25, 2012 / — -
|"My American step dad"; UVA/ Decribe the world you come from
2 - Through reading your essay, I know you was talking about your step dad and how he affected your life...
UndergraduateAngela336 - Dec 25, 2012 / hongyen2192 - Dec 25, 2012
|I had suffered from being a heavy girl : Common App/ Personal/local concern
Undergraduatewkxsp - Dec 19, 2012 / black and white - Dec 25, 2012
|My favorite Korean bands; ''Kpop"/ What do you do in your freetime essay?
8 - it will better if you add or tell something like evidences or situations in yours daily life what the...
Undergraduatesuperjunior - Dec 24, 2012 / hongyen2192 - Dec 25, 2012
|Drawings and Photographs; Rochester App/ Why Rochester?
3 - I think at the beginning distinct is the wrong word, instead of something meang so defined choose a word...
Undergraduatemelonboy123 - Dec 24, 2012 / ann_marie - Dec 24, 2012
|Want to play college soccer in California, but living in Massachuse; Occidental Supp
Undergraduate94opm - Dec 24, 2012 / 94opm - Dec 24, 2012
|My grandpa's love for art & photograpy/ Princeton Supp - Person who influenced you?
5 - Thank you guys so much for your feedback! I will try to work in these revisions! =D Good luck...
Undergraduatecoollog - Dec 23, 2012 / coollog - Dec 24, 2012
|That night changed my perspective on myself; Common App/ Significant experience
3 - I agree with the previous poster! It's written nicely but the essay does nothing to spotlight your attributes to...
Undergraduatelcgmt - Dec 23, 2012 / sticknstones - Dec 24, 2012
|Trekking the Annapurna Circuit, Majestic mountains of Nepal; Common App
2 - Yet (,) I would not let that be a party-pooper to my sojourn in the Yeti-bewitched Himalayas. While I...
Undergraduatevipulupa - Dec 24, 2012 / sticknstones - Dec 24, 2012
|The girl who faced unexpected death; Common App/ Person of Significant Influence
2 - I think its good. The only criticism I have it that you develop your relationship with this woman a...
UndergraduateAmelieValerie - Dec 24, 2012 / sticknstones - Dec 24, 2012
|University of Rochester Supplement - Meliora Experience
Undergraduatecooleric - Dec 23, 2012 / mystictiger - Dec 24, 2012
|I am excited to expand my horizon ; George Washington University
2 - "Bleeding edge"- I was thinking maybe you can use a word more like cutting edge instead. "Whenever I spoke...
Undergraduatealecblumenfeld - Dec 23, 2012 / mystictiger - Dec 24, 2012
|New Rochelle Youth Council; Common app / Extracurricular Activity
2 - Here's some help with your word count' Helping others and giving back to my community always made...
Undergraduatemjaayp - Dec 24, 2012 / dumi - Dec 24, 2012
|Music is a big part of my life; Stanford supp- future roommate
Undergraduatednx2000 - Dec 24, 2012 / jonleenj - Dec 24, 2012
|My Dad had once been in prison; Texas AM / Impact Person
Undergraduatenguyensybach - Dec 23, 2012 / maomao315040 - Dec 24, 2012
|Chicken Farm & Family Business - Common App/ Significant Experience
5 - Thank you so much for all of your help! I really am truly grateful. Good luck with your college...
UndergraduateElizabeth_A2013 - Nov 28, 2012 / Elizabeth_A2013 - Dec 24, 2012
|Students can achieve their dreams; George Washington Supp
NEW - After visiting Washington D.C., and seeing the landmarks, learning about the history and the abundance of great culture, I...
Undergraduatemjaayp - Dec 24, 2012 / — -
|"He, who opens a school door, closes a prison";Stanford Sup/ What matters to you&
5 - First of all, thank you for helping with my stanford essay! Overall, it was a very powerful and...
UndergraduateKreator95 - Dec 23, 2012 / karizma101 - Dec 24, 2012
|"Never had technology much'' / Common App Activity Writing
Undergraduatefasaran - Dec 22, 2012 / fasaran - Dec 24, 2012
|Social Science Nerdiness ~ Why Northwestern? Essay
6 - Here's my revised version: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school...
Undergraduateblquandt - Dec 18, 2012 / blquandt - Dec 24, 2012
|Excellent academics/ Interests & aspirations/ collaboration; Carnegie App/ Why Carnegie?
2 - Ok, overall this is a great essay and answers the questions. Since you say you are above the limit...
Undergraduatejonleenj - Dec 24, 2012 / dnx2000 - Dec 24, 2012
|I portray the overly outgoing student; Western AEO/HBA Essay; Uniqueness
Undergraduatecefireo - Dec 24, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012
|You will wake up with me; Letter to future Harvard rommate
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 24, 2012 / Hahahala - Dec 24, 2012
|Bio-inspiration - Stanford supplement/ what matters to you and why?
Undergraduatednx2000 - Dec 24, 2012 / fasaran - Dec 24, 2012
|Understanding why I do, what I do; Yale Supp
2 - I really like the message in this essay. In fact, i believe that most of us HAVE gone through...
UndergraduateRange Rover - Dec 24, 2012 / constance7728 - Dec 24, 2012
|Common App Extracurricular -- "Fantasy about Rock-band" 1000 Characters
3 - Thank you so much for your comment! Merry Christmas bro! :) ps. the red color is for CHRISTMAS?...
Undergraduatesukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012
|Composting/Weirdness/Running ~ Stanford Supplement Combo Pack
3 - Here's my revised version. Please give me feedback soon, I'm leaving for a family vacation tonight. Candidates respond...
Undergraduateblquandt - Dec 23, 2012 / blquandt - Dec 24, 2012
|Carnegie Mellon Supplement- Biology
2 - The answer is not too specific to prompt, a lot of stuff is repeated without any insight. try to...
UndergraduateAurora88 - Dec 24, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 24, 2012
|A glimpse into the future. Harvard supplement, letter to future roommate
2 - I personally like how informative you are in this essay. One thing I would change is maybe describe the...
Undergraduatekhld11 - Dec 24, 2012 / Tsprinkles - Dec 24, 2012
|Desire to pursue a career in medicine; Johns Hopkins/ Common App
6 - I really like the overall essay and idea, because not everyone has been able to experience the same experiences...
UndergraduateMHKHRY - Dec 19, 2012 / imbue - Dec 24, 2012
|"Love for biology and environment"; NYU Supplement, What is your academic interest?
6 - The overall structure is fine, but better be more specific about your real experience. Best of luck!...
Undergraduatehanksze - Dec 21, 2012 / kevinll - Dec 24, 2012
|My own happiness Vs Others' happiness; Stanford/What matters to you, and why?
3 - I find your essay interesting, as your idea is philosophical and deep. I also like how you want...
Undergraduategipytoiii - Dec 24, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012
|Computer Specialist- TAMU/ how will this degree help you achieve those goals?
Undergraduatejangirashok - Dec 23, 2012 / PaulesZakhary - Dec 24, 2012
|Consciousness; U ND Supp/ Perspectives at Notre Dame
Undergraduatesukhomoon - Dec 11, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 24, 2012
|"thinking process" ; University of Virginia Supp; Favorite word and why?
2 - I thought this was rather uninteresting. It was rather predictable from the start in my opinion. Perhaps a more...
UndergraduateRickRoss - Dec 24, 2012 / Liebe - Dec 24, 2012
|My brother's influence on me; TEXAS App/ Person who impacted my life
Undergraduatevadalis - Dec 24, 2012 / jangirashok - Dec 24, 2012
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