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|"Lao village" ; Williams App / "looking out through the window"
8 - ylimewc thanks for your help! I am applying to cornell too. maybe I will see each other on campus...
Undergraduatemaomao315040 - Dec 21, 2012 / maomao315040 - Dec 23, 2012
|I wish people would take me seriously; Something went unnoticed
4 - Not bad. Definitely better than the first one. However, more still needs to be done. I have always...
UndergraduateL2u9 - Dec 16, 2012 / ead300 - Dec 23, 2012
|Dear future college buddy - Stanford essay
UndergraduateI like Cookies - Dec 23, 2012 / Silleth - Dec 23, 2012
|I have always loved the arts and sciences; How Duke attracts you?
9 - MHKHRY Its more like Are you a good fit for DUKE... Not what they asked you... You should describe...
UndergraduateMHKHRY - Dec 19, 2012 / jangirashok - Dec 23, 2012
|A stone, concrete pitch, spray-painted walls & Soccer; Common App/ topic of your choice
2 - the name doesn't really matter as much as you think it does, you really should not say that you...
Undergraduatekhld11 - Dec 23, 2012 / alecblumenfeld - Dec 23, 2012
|My life in the United States began with Rice University; Rice Supp-Why Rice?
2 - This is very nice. You use some vivid imagery, and the overall idea works well. However, there are definitely...
Undergraduatearguanoid - Dec 23, 2012 / sogoldman - Dec 23, 2012
|Certain words cannot clearly be defined; Common app essay on wisdom
Undergraduatediabatem - Dec 19, 2012 / sogoldman - Dec 23, 2012
|Hip Hop - Rice Supplemental Essay
Undergraduateadyalas - Dec 22, 2012 / ljy9152 - Dec 23, 2012
|I wanted to my own mark in the world; Common App
Undergraduatejanahill72 - Dec 22, 2012 / janahill72 - Dec 23, 2012
|Passion for building structures; University of Toronto Engineering App
2 - Hi :) You have written a very nice essay. Your final paragraph is very well done. I think that...
Undergraduatecjsmith - Dec 23, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 23, 2012
|I chose to become a civil engineer / Carnegie Mellon University Supp
4 - This essay is separated into paragraphs, it's just because of the format of essayforum.com and that i was too...
Undergraduatedavidjaychoi - Dec 22, 2012 / davidjaychoi - Dec 23, 2012
|First day of school ; Topic of my choice-500 words
Undergraduatejadecal - Dec 21, 2012 / jadecal - Dec 23, 2012
|Dear future roommate- My day in a nutshell / Stanford
Undergraduateviraa - Dec 23, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 23, 2012
|"I hail from Iran"; Illinois Common App/ impact of upbringing and experiences
Undergraduateprogrammer - Dec 23, 2012 / dumi - Dec 23, 2012
|'The job I both hate and love' - COMMON APP SHORT ANSWER - EXTRACURRICULARS
2 - "Skills" in the second paragraph is used twice in a row. Switch one to, "lessons," or another synonym. ...
Undergraduateskier95 - Dec 23, 2012 / lulwut - Dec 23, 2012
|College of Arts and Sciences: What work of art music, science, mathematics prompt UVA
2 - Aside from the grammatical errors noted in the previous comments, there is also the subject matter. A lot of...
UndergraduateRickRoss - Dec 23, 2012 / fishes - Dec 23, 2012
|Passion for writing/ Conservative background/ ; UT Austin Part 1
3 - really good written, nice essay. It shows your passion and personality. But some parts are a little bit...
Undergraduatenair - Dec 20, 2012 / serdarovez - Dec 23, 2012
|BU Supplement/ BU's diversity and global programs
UndergraduateAriel421 - Dec 22, 2012 / serdarovez - Dec 23, 2012
|Living in a Different world/ RISD Common APP/ Visual art or design
Undergraduatelisbethmars - Dec 19, 2012 / viraa - Dec 23, 2012
|Where I am FROM ? COMMON APP/ "Ukranian Mom & Turkmen Dad"
Undergraduateserdarovez - Dec 21, 2012 / viraa - Dec 23, 2012
|Amherst Supplement: Rigor and Insight / "Another chapter in Amherst"
Undergraduatepinkfloyd - Dec 22, 2012 / pinkfloyd - Dec 23, 2012
|AMHERST SUP- Achievement more satisfying because of obstacles surmounted/ "Struggle"
2 - The topic of money as an obstacle is a little cliche, but I don't know what your circumstances are,...
Undergraduatelilica12 - Dec 23, 2012 / lulwut - Dec 23, 2012
|To shape myself / common App; Personal statement
2 - Great essay that shows who you are through a clever way of describing multiple forms and how you wish...
Undergraduatealamakota - Dec 19, 2012 / coollog - Dec 23, 2012
|Escaping my comfort zone; University of Richmond Supplement essay
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 22, 2012 / yisha - Dec 23, 2012
|I was seduced by the beauty of the city; NYU Supp/ Why NYU?
Undergraduatexxxrays - Dec 19, 2012 / ADMK95 - Dec 23, 2012
|To show the world that "We Exist"is my vision ; Stanford Supp/ Intellectual Vitality
8 - Being a minority myself, I understand and can relate to the stereotypes you have gone through. I believe the...
Undergraduatecwistoefur - Dec 20, 2012 / Kreator95 - Dec 23, 2012
|Stanford Supp: What matters to you and why?my brother was stuck on the father space
6 - I agree with jcubed you should look for a more smoother transition. You should reflect more on why it...
Undergraduatelindong95 - Nov 29, 2012 / Kreator95 - Dec 23, 2012
|Princeton - Summer - Trips - Activities - Engineering - UG
NEW - topic--Please tell us how you have spent the last two summers (or vacations between school years), including any jobs...
UndergraduateMillin Gabani - Dec 23, 2012 / — -
|Apply Texas A&M( an essay about someone who has made an impact on your life)
UndergraduateZ2013 - Dec 21, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 23, 2012
|I have spent half of my lunch breaks sitting in the physics lab; princeton supplement
4 - eng_geek you should not include your 3rd grade Question and Answer, It feels that u are expanding the essay...
Undergraduateeng_geek - Dec 14, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 23, 2012
|I've always desired of venturing off into the large cities: NYU Supplement
9 - Hi. Thanks for helping with my essay. "Its urban setting will allow me to attain a true taste of...
UndergraduateDrS - Dec 9, 2012 / weeyizhi - Dec 22, 2012
|Professor dad / U Penn Common APP/ Why U Penn?
2 - your last two paragraphs are great because they answer the prompt. however, your first sentence has nothing to do...
Undergraduatefzzz_fm - Dec 21, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 22, 2012
|Why CMU? Math/Business, MCS/Tepper
2 - this question is the hardest because you are trying to put different ideas into one essay .WOW "But what...
Undergraduatefishes - Dec 22, 2012 / kabal - Dec 22, 2012
|Common application essay - My grandmother; 'Nothing good without sacrifice'
UndergraduateBenBrady12 - Dec 17, 2012 / fasaran - Dec 22, 2012
|'Could be a game children like to play' - Where is Waldo? U Chicago
5 - ummmmm.... I have no idea what you have written about or why you have written it in the first...
Undergraduateimanali14 - Dec 19, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 22, 2012
|The Common Good - Bowdoin supplement
2 - You begin with a solid topic: volunteer work and college mentoring. However, your essay takes a rough turn when...
Undergraduatesawboe - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Why Yale? Candidness in teaching - Yale Supp
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Villanova Supplement- The Country/ Lesson you want to share with others
Undergraduateead300 - Dec 16, 2012 / ead300 - Dec 22, 2012
|Why CMU? It's a paradise in my heart / CMU Supplement
5 - Thank you all! Yes, I notice this point. Actually, I depicted it thoroughly in another essay required...
Undergraduatecsimstu - Dec 22, 2012 / csimstu - Dec 22, 2012
|'Beginning to mature' - Comman App; The trip that changed me
Undergraduatejkim147 - Dec 22, 2012 / jkim147 - Dec 22, 2012
|NYU SUPP: is a wage in dollars worth more than witnessing your children grow up?
UndergraduateADMK95 - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Rice Supplement / Why applying to school? Mathematical Economic Analysis
2 - "Business was not in my blood. " Unless you want to elaborate on that more, this sentence is unnecessary....
UndergraduateSpiritedAwayLOL - Dec 22, 2012 / fishes - Dec 22, 2012
|Have you ever been to the moon? / Harvard Supp/ Letter to roommate
7 - I also thought of that Huffington post when I read your letter. I'm not saying you plagiarized, as it...
Undergraduatefasaran - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Boston College Supplement- plan to serve others in your future
2 - One thing i really like about your essay is your specificness. This essays shows that you did yout research...
UndergraduateAmazingEK - Dec 19, 2012 / davidjaychoi - Dec 22, 2012
|Common Application Essay - It's more about my personal philosophies than experiences.
3 - I believe in theistic evolution. I don't believe good works alone gets people into heaven. That's just my...
Undergraduatej814wong - Dec 22, 2012 / j814wong - Dec 22, 2012
|What I make,why I make is the ultimate result of who I am Parsons artist statement
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 15, 2012 / davidjaychoi - Dec 22, 2012
|"How will you engage academically at Penn?" Short Answer University of Pennsylvania
3 - At the University of Pennsylvania, I am applying to the Huntsman Program for International Studies and Business. I have...
Undergraduateelbur637 - Dec 22, 2012 / pinkfloyd - Dec 22, 2012
|Common App(Issue of Concern) + Syracuse Supp; "Luxury of automobiles"
2 - You way you answered the first 3 question looks like you know what you want and you are determined....
Undergraduatedmullen1994 - Dec 22, 2012 / kabal - Dec 22, 2012
|George's Secret Key / "Aerospace Engineering goal"; PURDUE App
4 - Your essay clearly shows your interest in aeronautical engineeering and is very well written. "If I get admitted into...
Undergraduateceandrews95 - Dec 14, 2012 / jkim147 - Dec 22, 2012
|Lehigh Supplement - If I founded my own college
NEW - If you founded your own college or university, what topic of study would you make mandatory for all students...
Undergraduatelola94 - Dec 22, 2012 / — -
|Degree in Computer Science; Purdue Essay /Goals
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 18, 2012 / SadeAjayi - Dec 22, 2012
|At age seven, my world became one I feared; Stanford Supp/Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatepotterygenius94 - Dec 19, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 22, 2012
|Failures are the pillars of success; William and Mary Supp/What else make you unique?
UndergraduateraindropNroses - Dec 21, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 22, 2012
|We create our own story,and they decorate the entire human history/ ROCHESTER CApp
Undergraduatewzhong - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Exodus to epiphany - Common App Essay!
17 - Some grammatical in the ending. Otherwise, the essay is clearly more focused on you now . Good Job. ...
UndergraduateDDDDISSSSSCO - Dec 3, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Syracuse supp/ Who & what influenced?/ Dream person & Syracuse / Work experience
Undergraduatejessmaguana - Dec 21, 2012 / jessmaguana - Dec 22, 2012
|BU SUP; Why Boston Uni? Opportunities
4 - I understand, my mother tongue is not english though but i had the same problem with illinois, a friend...
Undergraduatealecblumenfeld - Dec 22, 2012 / programmer - Dec 22, 2012
|It wasn't until I started living with my grandmother; what matters to you ?
Undergraduateviraa - Dec 22, 2012 / viraa - Dec 22, 2012
|"everyone can be a leader" / Common App - ECA 1000 characters
2 - It did show you as a strong and independent person. BUT definitely not a team leader, since you never...
UndergraduateJASON2166 - Dec 22, 2012 / linting2012 - Dec 22, 2012
|My Love For puzzles, MIT Personality Essay - Feedback
5 - linting2012 A little grammar issues about. (try rewording your last line) Otherwise its a really good essay. ps. the...
Undergraduatelinting2012 - Dec 18, 2012 / viraa - Dec 22, 2012
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