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|Apply Texas A&M( an essay about someone who has made an impact on your life)
UndergraduateZ2013 - Dec 21, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 23, 2012
|I have spent half of my lunch breaks sitting in the physics lab; princeton supplement
4 - eng_geek you should not include your 3rd grade Question and Answer, It feels that u are expanding the essay...
Undergraduateeng_geek - Dec 14, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 23, 2012
|I've always desired of venturing off into the large cities: NYU Supplement
6 - Hi. Thanks for helping with my essay. "Its urban setting will allow me to attain a true taste of...
UndergraduateDrS - Dec 9, 2012 / weeyizhi - Dec 22, 2012
|Professor dad / U Penn Common APP/ Why U Penn?
2 - your last two paragraphs are great because they answer the prompt. however, your first sentence has nothing to do...
Undergraduatefzzz_fm - Dec 21, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 22, 2012
|Why CMU? Math/Business, MCS/Tepper
2 - this question is the hardest because you are trying to put different ideas into one essay .WOW "But what...
Undergraduatefishes - Dec 22, 2012 / kabal - Dec 22, 2012
|Common application essay - My grandmother; 'Nothing good without sacrifice'
UndergraduateBenBrady12 - Dec 17, 2012 / fasaran - Dec 22, 2012
|'Could be a game children like to play' - Where is Waldo? U Chicago
5 - ummmmm.... I have no idea what you have written about or why you have written it in the first...
Undergraduateimanali14 - Dec 19, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 22, 2012
|The Common Good - Bowdoin supplement
2 - You begin with a solid topic: volunteer work and college mentoring. However, your essay takes a rough turn when...
Undergraduatesawboe - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Why Yale? Candidness in teaching - Yale Supp
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Villanova Supplement- The Country/ Lesson you want to share with others
Undergraduateead300 - Dec 16, 2012 / ead300 - Dec 22, 2012
|Why CMU? It's a paradise in my heart / CMU Supplement
5 - Thank you all! Yes, I notice this point. Actually, I depicted it thoroughly in another essay required...
Undergraduatecsimstu - Dec 22, 2012 / csimstu - Dec 22, 2012
|'Beginning to mature' - Comman App; The trip that changed me
Undergraduatejkim147 - Dec 22, 2012 / jkim147 - Dec 22, 2012
|NYU SUPP: is a wage in dollars worth more than witnessing your children grow up?
UndergraduateADMK95 - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Rice Supplement / Why applying to school? Mathematical Economic Analysis
2 - "Business was not in my blood. " Unless you want to elaborate on that more, this sentence is unnecessary....
UndergraduateSpiritedAwayLOL - Dec 22, 2012 / fishes - Dec 22, 2012
|Have you ever been to the moon? / Harvard Supp/ Letter to roommate
7 - I also thought of that Huffington post when I read your letter. I'm not saying you plagiarized, as it...
Undergraduatefasaran - Dec 22, 2012 / katev - Dec 22, 2012
|Boston College Supplement- plan to serve others in your future
2 - One thing i really like about your essay is your specificness. This essays shows that you did yout research...
UndergraduateAmazingEK - Dec 19, 2012 / davidjaychoi - Dec 22, 2012
|Common Application Essay - It's more about my personal philosophies than experiences.
3 - I believe in theistic evolution. I don't believe good works alone gets people into heaven. That's just my...
Undergraduatej814wong - Dec 22, 2012 / j814wong - Dec 22, 2012
|What I make,why I make is the ultimate result of who I am Parsons artist statement
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 15, 2012 / davidjaychoi - Dec 22, 2012
|"How will you engage academically at Penn?" Short Answer University of Pennsylvania
3 - At the University of Pennsylvania, I am applying to the Huntsman Program for International Studies and Business. I have...
Undergraduateelbur637 - Dec 22, 2012 / pinkfloyd - Dec 22, 2012
|Common App(Issue of Concern) + Syracuse Supp; "Luxury of automobiles"
2 - You way you answered the first 3 question looks like you know what you want and you are determined....
Undergraduatedmullen1994 - Dec 22, 2012 / kabal - Dec 22, 2012
|George's Secret Key / "Aerospace Engineering goal"; PURDUE App
4 - Your essay clearly shows your interest in aeronautical engineeering and is very well written. "If I get admitted into...
Undergraduateceandrews95 - Dec 14, 2012 / jkim147 - Dec 22, 2012
|Lehigh Supplement - If I founded my own college
NEW - If you founded your own college or university, what topic of study would you make mandatory for all students...
Undergraduatelola94 - Dec 22, 2012 / — -
|Degree in Computer Science; Purdue Essay /Goals
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 18, 2012 / SadeAjayi - Dec 22, 2012
|At age seven, my world became one I feared; Stanford Supp/Intellectual Vitality
Undergraduatepotterygenius94 - Dec 19, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 22, 2012
|Failures are the pillars of success; William and Mary Supp/What else make you unique?
UndergraduateraindropNroses - Dec 21, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 22, 2012
|We create our own story,and they decorate the entire human history/ ROCHESTER CApp
Undergraduatewzhong - Dec 15, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Exodus to epiphany - Common App Essay!
17 - Some grammatical in the ending. Otherwise, the essay is clearly more focused on you now . Good Job. ...
UndergraduateDDDDISSSSSCO - Dec 3, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 22, 2012
|Syracuse supp/ Who & what influenced?/ Dream person & Syracuse / Work experience
Undergraduatejessmaguana - Dec 21, 2012 / jessmaguana - Dec 22, 2012
|BU SUP; Why Boston Uni? Opportunities
4 - I understand, my mother tongue is not english though but i had the same problem with illinois, a friend...
Undergraduatealecblumenfeld - Dec 22, 2012 / programmer - Dec 22, 2012
|It wasn't until I started living with my grandmother; what matters to you ?
Undergraduateviraa - Dec 22, 2012 / viraa - Dec 22, 2012
|"everyone can be a leader" / Common App - ECA 1000 characters
2 - It did show you as a strong and independent person. BUT definitely not a team leader, since you never...
UndergraduateJASON2166 - Dec 22, 2012 / linting2012 - Dec 22, 2012
|My Love For puzzles, MIT Personality Essay - Feedback
5 - linting2012 A little grammar issues about. (try rewording your last line) Otherwise its a really good essay. ps. the...
Undergraduatelinting2012 - Dec 18, 2012 / viraa - Dec 22, 2012
|New experiences are what matter to me; Stanford
3 - In fact, my decision to study political science is influenced strongly by Model United Nations conferences, a concept I...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 17, 2012 / Doom - Dec 22, 2012
|UPenn ; "All mankind is divided into three classes......" Which are you?
Undergraduateserendipity57 - Dec 22, 2012 / serendipity57 - Dec 22, 2012
|I was a DJ in the school broadcasting station/ Common App; Extracurricular Activity
Undergraduateyisha - Dec 6, 2012 / weeyizhi - Dec 22, 2012
|What is my career? - Math - NYU App/ Academic plans/ Interests
2 - I think this transition is a little bit too sudden. The school wants to know how your interests...
UndergraduateMacrusa - Dec 21, 2012 / hshsteven - Dec 22, 2012
|"Focus to see the Light" ; Interior Design/ College Essay
2 - but would calm myself as well. I think the top part is very well-written, especially the part when...
Undergraduatereenbean - Dec 18, 2012 / hshsteven - Dec 22, 2012
|With no electricity, I had been sentenced to forced idleness; Common App/ PS
3 - Yes Katev, thank you I get the point. I must admit that at times I did overuse the thesaurus....
Undergraduatehashmnahz94 - Dec 19, 2012 / hashmnahz94 - Dec 22, 2012
|Academic & Cultural exposure/ Benefit & Contribute/ Rutgers Common App
2 - I like your introduction. It's well presented :) The long planeflights and car rides were annoying and the...
Undergraduateimanali14 - Dec 20, 2012 / dumi - Dec 21, 2012
|CommonApp Essay on Evaluation of an Experience Creating an MMORPG
3 - Thanks for your great suggestions! I will do my best to revise the essay. However, I have another...
Undergraduatecoollog - Dec 15, 2012 / coollog - Dec 21, 2012
|Smithie at heart;song- "When You Believe" :Smith Common App/ Why Smith?/ Song & You
3 - thank you very much for the suggestions weeyizhi, I will try to make it better bearing in mind of...
Undergraduatemichelle95 - Dec 21, 2012 / michelle95 - Dec 21, 2012
|Art & Science ; FIT ADMISSION/ perfect candidate/ major
Undergraduateloth - Dec 20, 2012 / loth - Dec 21, 2012
|I volunteered at a hospital; Common App /Significant Accomplishment
2 - I would consider deleting this sentence I earned a hundred hour certificate and an honorary pin for my...
Undergraduateshuky55 - Dec 18, 2012 / SAChedal - Dec 21, 2012
|I am truly blessed ; Drexel BS/MD Supp
3 - You wrote real well. You might want to reconsider this sentence though , My life has not been easy...
Undergraduatetutu51595 - Dec 21, 2012 / SAChedal - Dec 21, 2012
|She collapsed on the chair ; most significant challenge / (MIT)
2 - "not prepared for such an occasion" "she could barely stand"- its best to take out the word up. it...
Undergraduateyara - Dec 18, 2012 / tutu51595 - Dec 21, 2012
|Fright of the unknown took over me; Admission Essay
5 - It sounds really good overall but there's a few minor things that could be improved. Your second sentence is...
Undergraduatedpmg94 - Dec 14, 2012 / andrethedrumme1 - Dec 21, 2012
|Kick, dodge; CommonApp/ Topic of your choice
UndergraduateNashinro - Dec 20, 2012 / Nashinro - Dec 21, 2012
|I come from a diverse background; U Colorado/ How you enrich Colorado community?
UndergraduateQuinchonez - Dec 21, 2012 / Quinchonez - Dec 21, 2012
|CommonApp Extracurricular Activity writing. - Singing
UndergraduateDDDDISSSSSCO - Dec 20, 2012 / DDDDISSSSSCO - Dec 21, 2012
|A Risky Phone call; Common App/ extracurricular activities
5 - Thank you all so much for your meaningful feedback! I've rearranged some words so I can include the fact...
Undergraduatekatev - Dec 20, 2012 / katev - Dec 21, 2012
|Standing up to a bully ; My Common Application 500 word essay
Undergraduatezephyr4813 - Dec 18, 2012 / zephyr4813 - Dec 21, 2012
|I'm excited to be living with you/ Stanford / letter to roommate!
3 - looks great! but maybe put in some interaction with your roommate? like..ask the other person some questions?...
Undergraduatebriannalawson3 - Dec 21, 2012 / fasaran - Dec 21, 2012
|CORNELL/ Eng Idea,Interest &Cornell Education;"Mech Eng is the mother of Engineering"
2 - apple123 Whenever there is a malfunction of any gadgets at home, I usually watch my dad, a Mechanical Engineer,...
Undergraduateapple123 - Dec 21, 2012 / ash5005 - Dec 21, 2012
|Reading - Common App; extracurricular activity
4 - School Editorial Board, which gave a chance to explore through the writings of great many students and in addition,...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 21, 2012 / serdarovez - Dec 21, 2012
|One of things in my life that have developed my leadership is soccer.
13 - Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that...
Undergraduatesarangnerkar - Dec 6, 2012 / sarangnerkar - Dec 21, 2012
|'Interest and love for business' - Field of intended study - Columbia
6 - Hi. Instead of listing everything you've done, I think it's better to show us what you did in a...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 17, 2012 / weeyizhi - Dec 21, 2012
|outline and thesis statement about facebook harmfull and most clicked
2 - If you're writing about Facebooks harmfulness maybe have a thesis more along the lines of "Although Facebook may be...
Undergraduateessaymatic - Dec 21, 2012 / briannalawson3 - Dec 21, 2012
|University of illinois/ Impact of past experiences
Undergraduateprogrammer - Dec 21, 2012 / dumi - Dec 21, 2012
|H.G. Wells, in The Time Machine; Princeton Supp/ favorite quotation
Undergraduatenairbear68 - Dec 19, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 21, 2012
|Security condition; Common App: Discuss a local issue and your importance to you.
6 - I think you need to bring life into your essay. Make us feel the things you're talking about. Use...
Undergraduateraskolnikov59 - Dec 19, 2012 / weeyizhi - Dec 21, 2012
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