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|Looking Differently- Write about your passion ESSAY
2 - it's a good essay :) You could change the word 'see-able' to maybe 'visible'? and there are a couple...
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 15, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|That day was not just an accomplishment
3 - The overall essay is written well. but maybe you could add how much it actually scares you? I could...
Undergraduatejmonte - Dec 15, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|I had worked in a physician's office since I graduated high school / Common App.
2 - I think it would be more interesting if you described a specific experience and then elaborated on the effect...
Undergraduatefoxyh - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|'Christianity and alcohol' - Brave New World - Columbia Supplement
3 - Try including the full prompt so advice can be more specific. Your essay, judging from your thread title, is...
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 10, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|I had adventure first,explanations?Later / Common App
4 - Great editing by petemess95! Now it reads much better! As petmess95 suggests, you should tell them what this program...
Undergraduaterossy - Dec 15, 2012 / dumi - Dec 15, 2012
|a minor in Japanese. arigato gozaimasu !
5 - THANK YOU.....
Undergraduatesharey125 - Nov 27, 2012 / sharey125 - Dec 15, 2012
|Lions village motherless babies home; Essay 2
5 - Is this better? About a year ago, some friends and I visited "Lions village motherless babies home," an...
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 12, 2012 / SadeAjayi - Dec 15, 2012
|How Cornell helps me with my academic interests; Cornell supplement (Engineering)
3 - "reading teachers face puts up their attendances" Simply hints at the use of facial recognition. "artificial intelligence" LOL,...
Undergraduateshaileshgupta94 - Dec 11, 2012 / coollog - Dec 15, 2012
|Hot, mucky, and grimy; Common App short Essay Comments
5 - Really good!...
Undergraduateeagles94 - Dec 15, 2012 / averyk - Dec 15, 2012
|I want to use my life to advocate for those in need; NYU
4 - My final essay that needs help, what intrigues you? (58 available characters) June 17th, 2012 marks one of...
Undergraduatekk081595 - Dec 15, 2012 / kk081595 - Dec 15, 2012
|I have always been a good artist, well relatively; SOP for the SAIC
Undergraduaterainbowsweat - Dec 9, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|How do I hope to have changed- application essay !
3 - petemess95 Thank you so much ! :))) I really appreciate it . I tried to correct the parts you...
Undergraduatepaulazh - Dec 14, 2012 / paulazh - Dec 15, 2012
|Simplest things are often the Catalysts of Development;Intellectual Vitality-Stanford
4 - ok so I changed it up a bit: Every Friday, my youth group helps out around the community; one...
Undergraduatenairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|I'm fairly clumsy; Letter to a Future Roommate for Stanford
4 - thanks guys :) i deleted and i cut that sentence with nannaa batman, just 36 characters left!...
Undergraduatenairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|Consequences from the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution
2 - There are multiple consequences from the Neolithic Agricultural Revolution. It was a major time period in the world and...
UndergraduateMaddyrk - Dec 13, 2012 / Enigmaticguitar - Dec 15, 2012
|I belong to the gallant men of the world who move; UPENN's suplemental essay
4 - Nicely done! Including that part about the innovative heating method is very good. try to use a...
UndergraduateQUANSAH2 - Dec 15, 2012 / nairbear68 - Dec 15, 2012
|May 24, 2012, my whole life changed; My Personal Statement
Undergraduatephilo138 - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 15, 2012
|"I gaze at the sunset with the woman I love and think, F8 at 1/2"; personal stateme
Undergraduateinkhk - Dec 3, 2012 / inkhk - Dec 15, 2012
|All I did was play basketball; Common Application Essay #1
2 - Sopanhatun I think your idea is good. You have explained well that how basket ball has helped you learn...
Undergraduatesopanhatun - Dec 15, 2012 / AryanK - Dec 15, 2012
|CHOOSE AN ISSUE OF IMPORTANCE TO YOU: Building a Recreational Facility
Undergraduatezmixdbreed - Dec 11, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 15, 2012
|The underdog doesn't only win in fictional feel-good teen movies, sometimes it happens in real life
Undergraduateanservis - Dec 12, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 15, 2012
|My Volunteer Experience ; feeding the hungry at a church /Common App
3 - i think it is very genuine. i like your writing and it conveys the emotions you have. very well...
UndergraduateElizabeth934 - Dec 14, 2012 / zdv - Dec 15, 2012
|Boston University represents everything about this great city - WHY BOSTON? /Supp
Undergraduatejohnlacoste - Dec 14, 2012 / Prafull - Dec 15, 2012
|"Instead of being the second someone, I want want to be the first me"; NYU Supp
3 - Thanks!...
Undergraduateeng_geek - Dec 12, 2012 / eng_geek - Dec 14, 2012
|college is the key to a successful future; Common App/Transfer Essay
5 - This is very very good. Well done! I think that your writing, structure, and grammar look great, and you...
Undergraduatebreithx1 - Dec 12, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 14, 2012
|Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: Personal Statement
Undergraduatedangodango404 - Dec 13, 2012 / dangodango404 - Dec 14, 2012
|Corrupt government officials & Power crazy politicians; Columbia Application
6 - i like the idea of starting with how i never took any politics related subjects. in fact, until a...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|was running for the president : EXPERIENCE-IMPACT ESSAY
3 - Thanks dude but which one do u think i should use to apply for universities? the first one(my another...
Undergraduatetpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012 / tpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012
|Common App Activities Essay - Advice and Proofreading
6 - cut down on describing whats happening and write about why you like dong it or why this is so...
UndergraduateKevin2013 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 14, 2012
|It's true, though, me being "unfocused"; Stanford (Intellectual Vitality Essay)
4 - I'm assuming you don't plan on leaving the last line there. But I love your style of writing. It...
Undergraduateourheaven - Dec 9, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|I signed with Intellect Club; extracurricular activitieswork
4 - Remember that all the days of the week should actually start with a capital letter. Same goes for...
Undergraduateakhabareli - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|Mariam's Changes - change is a force that goes beyond our reach and is inevitable
Undergraduatebemdam - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|CONDENSING ESSAY TO 500 WORDS - becoming a nurse
Undergraduateomegakib - Dec 14, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 14, 2012
|Why can't I have my own choice? ; My personal Statement
Undergraduatelucy123 - Dec 14, 2012 / lucy123 - Dec 14, 2012
|Columbia helps find a balance in life; NYU
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 13, 2012 / Kevin2013 - Dec 14, 2012
|My job as a volunteer sound technician; RPI Common App
2 - Are the sound levels mixed correctly? Did I didn't remember I remember to if I changed the computer...
UndergraduateWillyD - Dec 13, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 13, 2012
|Pharmacy Schools CommonApp Essay Intro - influence; my stillborn brother
Undergraduateaveryk - Dec 13, 2012 / averyk - Dec 13, 2012
|Trekking; Common App Activity
2 - This is good except I have no idea what you're talking about. Camping trip? Cadets? Hunger Games? ...
Undergraduatejaxball - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal?
11 - The overall essay is good :) the topic is really touching and personal. But your writing style seems very...
Undergraduatebritttt4 - Nov 12, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 13, 2012
|Governor's School of Engineering: Extracurricular Activity or Interest. "The Robo-T-Birds"
2 - Now, just what was I doing eating Italian food in a claustrophobic workshop? Now, what was I doing...
UndergraduateEpsilonDelta - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|I was amazed at all Barnard could offer!
Undergraduatepussypussy - Dec 13, 2012 / msnjck - Dec 13, 2012
|The United States of America is a melting pot for these people; Essay on Americanism!
NEW - According to the dictionary Americanism means "a custom, linguistic usage, or other feature peculiar to or characteristic of the...
Undergraduatemsnjck - Dec 13, 2012 / — -
|My priorities had always been related to owning luxuries, rather that excelling at my
6 - i agree with the previous comments. awkward sentences at times. i also think you should go deeper. i mean...
Undergraduatedpmg94 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|'Captain Mac' - Common App Influential Person Topic
5 - very well written. although i couldnt understand the topic (i have no idea what rlo is), i could relate....
UndergraduateScorch - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|Why I Want to be a Pediatric Nurse: College addmision Essay
4 - I mean make smooth connections betweent the paragraphs, because I felt that the 2005 part was kind of abrupt...
Undergraduatecarina1994 - Dec 13, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 13, 2012
|Nigeria needs to go with the flow of the tide:Illinois Urbana Champaign essay
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 8, 2012 / Simon0228 - Dec 13, 2012
|Common App Essay- The Influence of Sherlock Holmes
6 - I think overall it's a good essay. Interesting start. The users before me have done a good job with...
Undergraduatemhaque96 - Dec 9, 2012 / timeywimey - Dec 13, 2012
|The most appealing fact about Yale is the eclectic community of students
3 - You are mentioning things which are common in most college essays... Try writing about what specific about yale appeals...
UndergraduateEmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012 / shaigupta94 - Dec 13, 2012
|Risk taking is the essence of my life; Personality attribute----mit essay
Undergraduatearunesh - Dec 11, 2012 / EmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012
|This desire is perfectly attuned with the principles of the: Why UMichigan?
2 - I'm lousy on grammar as well, but I think yours look fine to me.. No obvious mistakes, anyways. Other...
UndergraduateDoom - Dec 13, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 13, 2012
|"Ideas come alive when you believe in them" B.S.E. essey
3 - Since, then my passion for engineering grew tremendously. From that time, my interest for engineering grew tremendously. ...
Undergraduateshaileshgupta94 - Dec 11, 2012 / inkhk - Dec 13, 2012
|Why Poly? / Area of interest / Polythinker / Inventor) - Poly Supplements
UndergraduateTheFgt - Dec 9, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|NYU Supplement - "What Intrigues You?"Intricacies of Language and its transformations
3 - Western and Eastern should be capitalized, I believe. And I agree with sarthakjain - maybe try to remove...
Undergraduatejaxball - Dec 9, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|I can accomplish my research interests in Physics and Astronomy ;Oberlin Supplement!
5 - so should the first para be like this: I want my college life to make a meaningful contribution...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Dec 11, 2012 / moon05 - Dec 13, 2012
|"Tao Kae Noi!" they called me; WORLD I CAME FROM ESSAY
4 - My curiosity towards trucks was generated due to the familiar sight of my dad working with them. ...
Undergraduatetpr2012 - Dec 12, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 13, 2012
|Diversity is not only race, ethnicity and gender / Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030
2 - ... Good point. Most people believe that diversity is all about race, religion and gender. For...
Undergraduatedudanq - Dec 12, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 13, 2012
|I never felt so disappointed; My Yale Supplement Essay
3 - Thanks a lot....
UndergraduateEmeeAfua - Dec 8, 2012 / EmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012
|Laugh A Little (The study of cultures). UGA ESSAY. "The History of Horseracing" example
Undergraduatesalehrama10 - Dec 12, 2012 / salehrama10 - Dec 13, 2012
|Creative short story for Literary Arts application!
NEW - Applying to a Literary Arts program -high school. Please review, and comments/suggestions are appreciated!! Thanks! DUSK Dusk....
UndergraduateNicky357 - Dec 13, 2012 / — -
|Common App - Extenuating Circumstances (Additional Info)
2 - Show, not tell. You make a sweeping statement that your GPA and SAT are inaccurate representations of your skill....
Undergraduatemilkmint - Dec 12, 2012 / Proran - Dec 12, 2012
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