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|college is the key to a successful future; Common App/Transfer Essay
5 - This is very very good. Well done! I think that your writing, structure, and grammar look great, and you...
Undergraduatebreithx1 - Dec 12, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 14, 2012
|Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: Personal Statement
Undergraduatedangodango404 - Dec 13, 2012 / dangodango404 - Dec 14, 2012
|Corrupt government officials & Power crazy politicians; Columbia Application
6 - i like the idea of starting with how i never took any politics related subjects. in fact, until a...
Undergraduatethespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|was running for the president : EXPERIENCE-IMPACT ESSAY
3 - Thanks dude but which one do u think i should use to apply for universities? the first one(my another...
Undergraduatetpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012 / tpr2012 - Dec 14, 2012
|Common App Activities Essay - Advice and Proofreading
6 - cut down on describing whats happening and write about why you like dong it or why this is so...
UndergraduateKevin2013 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 14, 2012
|It's true, though, me being "unfocused"; Stanford (Intellectual Vitality Essay)
4 - I'm assuming you don't plan on leaving the last line there. But I love your style of writing. It...
Undergraduateourheaven - Dec 9, 2012 / thespoonguy - Dec 14, 2012
|I signed with Intellect Club; extracurricular activitieswork
4 - Remember that all the days of the week should actually start with a capital letter. Same goes for...
Undergraduateakhabareli - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|Mariam's Changes - change is a force that goes beyond our reach and is inevitable
Undergraduatebemdam - Dec 13, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 14, 2012
|CONDENSING ESSAY TO 500 WORDS - becoming a nurse
Undergraduateomegakib - Dec 14, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 14, 2012
|Why can't I have my own choice? ; My personal Statement
Undergraduatelucy123 - Dec 14, 2012 / lucy123 - Dec 14, 2012
|Columbia helps find a balance in life; NYU
Undergraduatemzontario - Dec 13, 2012 / Kevin2013 - Dec 14, 2012
|My job as a volunteer sound technician; RPI Common App
2 - Are the sound levels mixed correctly? Did I didn't remember I remember to if I changed the computer...
UndergraduateWillyD - Dec 13, 2012 / ththnho_tl - Dec 13, 2012
|Pharmacy Schools CommonApp Essay Intro - influence; my stillborn brother
Undergraduateaveryk - Dec 13, 2012 / averyk - Dec 13, 2012
|Trekking; Common App Activity
2 - This is good except I have no idea what you're talking about. Camping trip? Cadets? Hunger Games? ...
Undergraduatejaxball - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal?
11 - The overall essay is good :) the topic is really touching and personal. But your writing style seems very...
Undergraduatebritttt4 - Nov 12, 2012 / vadalis - Dec 13, 2012
|Governor's School of Engineering: Extracurricular Activity or Interest. "The Robo-T-Birds"
2 - Now, just what was I doing eating Italian food in a claustrophobic workshop? Now, what was I doing...
UndergraduateEpsilonDelta - Dec 13, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|I was amazed at all Barnard could offer!
Undergraduatepussypussy - Dec 13, 2012 / msnjck - Dec 13, 2012
|The United States of America is a melting pot for these people; Essay on Americanism!
NEW - According to the dictionary Americanism means "a custom, linguistic usage, or other feature peculiar to or characteristic of the...
Undergraduatemsnjck - Dec 13, 2012 / — -
|My priorities had always been related to owning luxuries, rather that excelling at my
6 - i agree with the previous comments. awkward sentences at times. i also think you should go deeper. i mean...
Undergraduatedpmg94 - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|'Captain Mac' - Common App Influential Person Topic
5 - very well written. although i couldnt understand the topic (i have no idea what rlo is), i could relate....
UndergraduateScorch - Dec 13, 2012 / zdv - Dec 13, 2012
|Why I Want to be a Pediatric Nurse: College addmision Essay
4 - I mean make smooth connections betweent the paragraphs, because I felt that the 2005 part was kind of abrupt...
Undergraduatecarina1994 - Dec 13, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 13, 2012
|Nigeria needs to go with the flow of the tide:Illinois Urbana Champaign essay
UndergraduateSadeAjayi - Dec 8, 2012 / Simon0228 - Dec 13, 2012
|Common App Essay- The Influence of Sherlock Holmes
6 - I think overall it's a good essay. Interesting start. The users before me have done a good job with...
Undergraduatemhaque96 - Dec 9, 2012 / timeywimey - Dec 13, 2012
|The most appealing fact about Yale is the eclectic community of students
3 - You are mentioning things which are common in most college essays... Try writing about what specific about yale appeals...
UndergraduateEmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012 / shaigupta94 - Dec 13, 2012
|Risk taking is the essence of my life; Personality attribute----mit essay
Undergraduatearunesh - Dec 11, 2012 / EmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012
|This desire is perfectly attuned with the principles of the: Why UMichigan?
2 - I'm lousy on grammar as well, but I think yours look fine to me.. No obvious mistakes, anyways. Other...
UndergraduateDoom - Dec 13, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 13, 2012
|"Ideas come alive when you believe in them" B.S.E. essey
3 - Since, then my passion for engineering grew tremendously. From that time, my interest for engineering grew tremendously. ...
Undergraduateshaileshgupta94 - Dec 11, 2012 / inkhk - Dec 13, 2012
|Why Poly? / Area of interest / Polythinker / Inventor) - Poly Supplements
UndergraduateTheFgt - Dec 9, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|NYU Supplement - "What Intrigues You?"Intricacies of Language and its transformations
3 - Western and Eastern should be capitalized, I believe. And I agree with sarthakjain - maybe try to remove...
Undergraduatejaxball - Dec 9, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 13, 2012
|I can accomplish my research interests in Physics and Astronomy ;Oberlin Supplement!
5 - so should the first para be like this: I want my college life to make a meaningful contribution...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Dec 11, 2012 / moon05 - Dec 13, 2012
|"Tao Kae Noi!" they called me; WORLD I CAME FROM ESSAY
4 - My curiosity towards trucks was generated due to the familiar sight of my dad working with them. ...
Undergraduatetpr2012 - Dec 12, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 13, 2012
|Diversity is not only race, ethnicity and gender / Colorado Boulder's Flagship 2030
2 - ... Good point. Most people believe that diversity is all about race, religion and gender. For...
Undergraduatedudanq - Dec 12, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 13, 2012
|I never felt so disappointed; My Yale Supplement Essay
3 - Thanks a lot....
UndergraduateEmeeAfua - Dec 8, 2012 / EmeeAfua - Dec 13, 2012
|Laugh A Little (The study of cultures). UGA ESSAY. "The History of Horseracing" example
Undergraduatesalehrama10 - Dec 12, 2012 / salehrama10 - Dec 13, 2012
|Creative short story for Literary Arts application!
NEW - Applying to a Literary Arts program -high school. Please review, and comments/suggestions are appreciated!! Thanks! DUSK Dusk....
UndergraduateNicky357 - Dec 13, 2012 / — -
|Common App - Extenuating Circumstances (Additional Info)
2 - Show, not tell. You make a sweeping statement that your GPA and SAT are inaccurate representations of your skill....
Undergraduatemilkmint - Dec 12, 2012 / Proran - Dec 12, 2012
|Experiences of a Russian American (WIP) // 3 short essays for MIT
UndergraduateProran - Dec 11, 2012 / Proran - Dec 12, 2012
|FIT ENTRANCE ESSAY-FASHION DESIGN MAJOR
Undergraduatenisly29 - Dec 12, 2012 / nisly29 - Dec 12, 2012
|What intrigues you ? New York University Essay - I need some inspiration
3 - Only you know the answer to that question. It could be pretty much anything (try to avoid people though)....
UndergraduateEmaLoli - Dec 12, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 12, 2012
|Growing up in New York City, I have seen many news reports of murder and theft.
Undergraduatewriter4life - Dec 12, 2012 / ah_zafari - Dec 12, 2012
|"Why I Do Theater" - Yale Supplement
6 - This is very difficult to answer without further information. He could mean a number of things by lack of...
UndergraduateMichael48304 - Oct 25, 2010 / macauleec - Dec 12, 2012
|Coming from an Eastern Country - Transfer Admission Essay - Statement on Purpose
2 - Hello, Did you win the scholarship with this essay? This is not a statement of purpose at all....
Undergraduateellenk3112 - Dec 9, 2012 / admission2012 - Dec 12, 2012
|the every-weekend movie show - UIUC prompt # 2
2 - Brilliant essay in general. Btw on the first line, it should be "Being a secretary meant ..."not means, because...
UndergraduateSimon0228 - Dec 12, 2012 / SadeAjayi - Dec 12, 2012
|I chose to destroy my best friend's life - ethical dilemma
4 - This is an incredible essay. It definitely shows colleges that you're capable of making the right decision rather than...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 12, 2012 / ivyleague - Dec 12, 2012
|I want to matriculate at Yale: Engineering Essay!
2 - your descriptive language is good, but the problem is you need to be more specific about why you want...
Undergraduatecocoalocox12x - Dec 9, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 12, 2012
|I'm lucky to follow my inclinations to learn things that interest me : UIUC Supp
Undergraduatesimon8437 - Dec 11, 2012 / simon8437 - Dec 12, 2012
|Common app essay: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence. True Friend
Undergraduatejohnlacoste - Dec 1, 2012 / reymiii - Dec 12, 2012
|I grew up in hospitals; Common App Essay/ topic of your choice
4 - Your essay is extremely similar to mine for my Common App. I also related a family member with a...
Undergraduatedanabug - Dec 9, 2012 / DrS - Dec 11, 2012
|NJIT application essay. How did you hear about njit and why are you applying
NEW - Please look over my essay, give any advice you feel will help, thank you in advance.:) The first...
UndergraduateAMF505 - Dec 11, 2012 / — -
|Academic interests/ What intrigues you?: NYU Supplements!
4 - In the second part: ^this isn't a complete sentence and therefore it is not grammatically correct. Secondly,...
Undergraduatenounouboo - Dec 9, 2012 / Albert - Dec 11, 2012
|Medical field was always my choice of career - NJIT App
4 - In the past year I introduced to New Jersey Institute of Technology from my close relative, a current NJIT...
UndergraduateQueenchatterbox - Dec 3, 2012 / Queenchatterbox - Dec 11, 2012
|Tae Kwon Do made me a better and stronger person; Haravard Essay
6 - I guess the long list of your achievements might work against you, but still it's up to you whether...
Undergraduatearunesh - Dec 9, 2012 / sukhomoon - Dec 11, 2012
|my cousin was wrongfully convicted of armed robbery; Statement of Intent
5 - @ dibianski: thanks for your corrections, but I have long submitted this essay. I would appreciate it if you...
Undergraduatejiva - Nov 30, 2012 / jiva - Dec 11, 2012
|Describe an unusual way in which you have fun. (Caltech Supplement)
Undergraduatemontysire - Dec 10, 2012 / qasderwdw - Dec 11, 2012
|The walk. Common app essay - I had a nightmare
Undergraduateneptmg - Dec 4, 2012 / azmain1234 - Dec 11, 2012
|"To stay where you are, keep running" - sop for MIS graduate admission
Undergraduateuntraceable_y - Dec 11, 2012 / nirajgupta05 - Dec 11, 2012
|I live in a predominately Italian and Asian neighborhood (Common app Essay)
2 - Change the "viewpoints" everywhere it is. You should explain more the thing you have learned ...
UndergraduateTheBar - Dec 9, 2012 / moon05 - Dec 11, 2012
|CU boulder essay; influential person - parents; My father has taught me lessons in life
5 - Try to get the points more straightly, instead of going round and round and avoid the sentence like "...
Undergraduatediegoarch - Dec 1, 2012 / Millin Gabani - Dec 11, 2012
|I replied, "No, but I learned a great deal": Columbia Supplement
Undergraduaterezwan3 - Nov 4, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 10, 2012
|Why is Reed college a good fit for you? Appl. essey - I don't want to be a typical person
4 - Great narrative! You used the word 'typical' twice within the first two sentences. Try to find another word....
Undergraduategcoffey72 - Dec 4, 2012 / mzontario - Dec 10, 2012
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