|Undergraduate [25,517] - page 135 of 426|
|UC transfer personal: I decided to go to the Phillippines, leaving my hometown, Korea
5 - I edited some of sentences and got rid of the schedules, thanks for trennty and dumi!!!! i removed first...
Undergraduatekykale - Nov 28, 2012 / kykale - Nov 29, 2012
|I Am Those Saxophones - Music has made a significant impact on my life
3 - Thanks for the feedback! Just a few errors here and there I believe. But I think it's pretty decent...
Undergraduatearaykoitskevdo - Nov 28, 2012 / araykoitskevdo - Nov 29, 2012
|UC personal; accomplishment - I had fallen in love with martial arts; "ce kong fan"
6 - Interesting and yes it answers the prompt quite nicely. edit: Didn't see that you had just submitted. Best...
UndergraduateEmile786 - Nov 28, 2012 / RonaldHe510 - Nov 29, 2012
|"Born in America to Vietnamese parents"; UW - Cultural Diversity
2 - I changed punctuation. Also I find this sentence needs to be more powerful... Even if you dont have...
Undergraduateseanhuynh - Nov 29, 2012 / dumi - Nov 29, 2012
|Becoming Someone by overcoming insecurities - UC Prompt #1
3 - Thank you. I have also revised my statement's intro and if anyone else can provide more feedback, it'll be...
UndergraduateRonaldHe510 - Nov 26, 2012 / RonaldHe510 - Nov 29, 2012
|'hiding under my blanket' - UC essay "my father"
5 - (1) I dont quite understand this. "bounded to call dad" would be more correct, but what are you really...
Undergraduatetrennty_09 - Nov 25, 2012 / diebysenioritis - Nov 29, 2012
|My Dad always says "Hope for the best, but plan for the worst"; princeton supplement essay
UndergraduateHoney Johri - Nov 28, 2012 / Honey Johri - Nov 29, 2012
|UC ESSAY-The world you come from; understanding of my identity was a bipolar rollercoaster
Undergraduateaskelliott - Nov 28, 2012 / college134nj - Nov 29, 2012
|UC Personal Statements Prompt 1: Acceptance of who I am
2 - You've written a great essay, and the only advice I can give would be to describe how your experience...
Undergraduateaquinoglorygee - Nov 28, 2012 / jackiegirl33 - Nov 29, 2012
|Personal Statement for Fashion Schools - 'I am ready'
4 - I was destined for fashion. As a kindergartener , I enjoyed shopping with my mother toat a cheap marketplace...
Undergraduatekelly8946 - Nov 26, 2012 / jackiegirl33 - Nov 28, 2012
|USC Viterbi supplement- Geek or nerd? I became an airplane geek
2 - You're essay is well written and really defines who you are. Your humor is not something to be worried...
Undergraduatexamanda - Nov 28, 2012 / askelliott - Nov 28, 2012
|'Humanitarian and Environmental clubs' - UC College Application Essay #2
Undergraduatejackiegirl33 - Nov 28, 2012 / jackiegirl33 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt 1 How Cross Country Changed My Life - becoming team captain
UndergraduateAustinO - Nov 28, 2012 / aquinoglorygee - Nov 28, 2012
|'The stereotypical American suburb' - Where I come from
Undergraduatexamanda - Nov 26, 2012 / jackiegirl33 - Nov 28, 2012
|After moving, I hated my new life; Florida State University Essay
2 - Hi hannahlynnronk Make sure that you include your prompt in the thread so that we can give you better...
Undergraduatehannahlynnronk - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|"A Role Model in Fiction" (Common App essay) the influence of a fiction char.
15 - "Suddenly I wanted to be the same way..." Awkward phrasing. Try saying he was your role model, or how...
Undergraduatecmvitolo - Aug 31, 2009 / jackiegirl33 - Nov 28, 2012
|Write about any issue of importance to you - Texas essay-B..........NIMBY!!
Undergraduatesidney007 - Nov 25, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|'A career politician' - College Application Essay- Topic A
Undergraduatersb9 - Nov 25, 2012 / DonnaJm - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt #1 Essay: Describe the world you come from; Hollow
UndergraduateSchzarvette - Nov 28, 2012 / aleckdanielle - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Transfer Prompt - Intended major: Physics
5 - I like your eassy writting so much. ^^ Althought I just start learning to write English recently, and certainly...
Undergraduatekmoses - Nov 28, 2012 / Salikron - Nov 28, 2012
|'our journey is on divorce' - UT AustinTopic A & UC Prompt 1
UndergraduateEunhae126 - Nov 26, 2012 / sharey125 - Nov 28, 2012
|'Robotic career' - Stanford
8 - Thanks that feedback was great. I ended up using this for another college and the max was 1,000...
Undergraduatesharey125 - Nov 26, 2012 / sharey125 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Transfer Prompt #1 Sociology & Asian American Studies
Undergraduatesaecin - Nov 28, 2012 / saecin - Nov 28, 2012
|University of Colorado Boulder Flagship Essay - Returning Home and Finding Myself
4 - I think it should be, 'Technically, I moved there, lived there, and received and education in the two...
Undergraduatekakiasatt - Nov 26, 2012 / mzontario - Nov 28, 2012
|My first time; my uncle was unexpectedly injured by a gunshot
Undergraduatetoeknee692 - Nov 28, 2012 / FortuitousMW - Nov 28, 2012
|'stabbed in the arm' - United States Naval Academy Essay
UndergraduateLostTime - Nov 27, 2012 / kakiasatt - Nov 28, 2012
|I can read Arabic & speak English; university of washington/ Cultural Diverstiy
Undergraduateprogrammer - Nov 28, 2012 / ah_zafari - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Transfer Prompt #1: English Major - participation in creating or distributing words
3 - "Forced to come to my mother's work everyday for 12 hours during the summer" Should switch the wording...
Undergraduatecreavi - Nov 28, 2012 / kakiasatt - Nov 28, 2012
|elaborating on basketball as an extra curricular activity-commonapp
Undergraduatedelegate - Nov 28, 2012 / Elizabeth_A2013 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt #2: Finding My Inner Tough; I raised over three thousand dollars by teaching
1 - Please be very critical and tell me if there are any awkward wording. Thanks! Prompt: "Tell us about a...
Undergraduatemypfantom - Nov 28, 2012 / — -
|UC prompt 1: Girl Gamer in Chinese Society
9 - Haha loved the Welcome to Summoner's Rift I haven't been able to LoL at all busting my ass off...
Undergraduateshirley127 - Nov 26, 2012 / mrkrishan - Nov 28, 2012
|Common App Essay: The Significant Person - Game (Jayceon Terrell Taylor) hip-hop star
Undergraduatejustlerik - Nov 28, 2012 / delegate - Nov 28, 2012
|I was only 15; U of Pitt - Significant experience
Undergraduatedanoc93 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|personal essey; For my whole life, I could never pick one place to call my home
Undergraduatercbeducation - Nov 28, 2012 / mzontario - Nov 28, 2012
|"MY ART" - My Greatest achievement in life has been my greatest failures throughtout life
2 - Hi, AlisonHarr9, I think the best part of your essay is that you clearly describe the "painting" event. That...
UndergraduateAlisonHarr9 - Nov 23, 2012 / FortuitousMW - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt; Working as an L.I.T. has helped me "give back" to the community
2 - This sounds a bit awkward,.... the part ''family, school or community'' doesn't make much sense : ( .......
UndergraduateYOPAG - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|"The prophecy came true"- UC transfer template
2 - That is something really novel. I'm from Romania too but I have never thought of emphasizing such an aspect...
Undergraduateclemy - Nov 25, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 28, 2012
|Rubik Essay - self-development workshops common app essays
Undergraduatealexhirsu - Nov 27, 2012 / alexhirsu - Nov 28, 2012
|"Do you really want to end up like us?"; University of Washington- Personal Statement
4 - Alright what's your thread? ... Make sure you post the prompt so that I can align my feed back...
Undergraduateebailon - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|Topic C essay? 'I received a 98' Missing my intro/conclusion.
2 - I devoted myself to something school-related was when I took Calculus AP-AB thise sentence is kinda awkward if you...
Undergraduatebren21096 - Nov 28, 2012 / programmer - Nov 28, 2012
|Not the most supportive father - UC prompt #1
2 - Hello, Moreno18 Your essay is really good, it shows your uniqueness and motivation. Still, I believe you should say...
UndergraduateMoreno18 - Nov 28, 2012 / justlerik - Nov 28, 2012
|'Improving students communication skills' - Common App essay
2 - Hello, nhn Basically I liked your essay however I don't think you answered the question correctly. The promt is...
Undergraduatenhn - Nov 28, 2012 / justlerik - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt 2 - The Great Wall
2 - Hi, I have a doubt whether you had adequately dealt with the above prompt... Nothing much comes...
Undergraduatejrc27 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|The sadness Lisa's death gave to me - common app
UndergraduateCycLoNe94 - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|Every child is preprogrammed ; UC/Describe the world you come from
Undergraduatelovepova - Nov 27, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|'pleasantly unsure exactly who I am' - Stanford what matters to you?
3 - One question...is this long enough for a statement of purpose? Nice and to the point. It also showed...
Undergraduate4m4jordan4m4 - Nov 27, 2012 / busybee - Nov 28, 2012
|'RU-MSA, AMSA, and SOMA' - Rutgers Admission Application
Undergraduateshahrukhsyed - Nov 7, 2012 / mnkumar1984 - Nov 28, 2012
|One cannot tell by simply looking at a human's face; Expression of deciption
2 - You have written a lengthy response to this prompt! Are you within the word count or exceeded it? ...
UndergraduateBlastofftomars1 - Nov 26, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|'born into a low-income family' - UC first promt your world
UndergraduateEmile786 - Nov 20, 2012 / Emile786 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC #2: My passion for environmental awareness.
5 - Great essay, but a bit too informational. You should elaborate more on your character. Like others said, the essay...
Undergraduatesushiwrap - Nov 23, 2012 / sdelicana - Nov 28, 2012
|'the Philippines during summer break' - UC Prompt about my grandfather
6 - Very emotional and quite well-written, but I do agree with what others are saying. Sob stories about people who...
Undergraduatealeckdanielle - Nov 27, 2012 / sdelicana - Nov 28, 2012
|Why computer science is my intended major- UC transfer personal statement
5 - One more paragraph I added: Logic is also important in another fascinating part of computer science: artificial intelligence....
Undergraduatestepup2stepout - Nov 27, 2012 / stepup2stepout - Nov 28, 2012
|Hey there Aunt Kay! UT Austin Prompt A
2 - Hi, Interesting! ... impressive start! So, you want to cut down words.... It's better you tell...
Undergraduatejesus4me - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|UC Prompt 2 "Computer problems" The lights hummed above as I stared at the jumble of wires
7 - Is there anything I can add? I revised my essay, and it's only around 400 words. My other essay...
Undergraduateshirley127 - Nov 25, 2012 / shirley127 - Nov 28, 2012
|holla at yo gurl. second UC prompt.
Undergraduatericejillian5 - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Nov 28, 2012
|UC: Rebuilding the Broken; I have always dreamt of learning how to play an instrument
2 - In my opinion, you should remove the paragraph about football. Also it would be nice to know what "pains...
UndergraduateDonesaur - Nov 28, 2012 / Moreno18 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC APPLICATION "Saudi Arabia"; personal talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience
2 - It is good and very descriptive. I would suggest however, that you talk more about who your are and...
UndergraduateTaylor8294 - Nov 25, 2012 / Moreno18 - Nov 28, 2012
|UC --Cross Country Mayhem and Major Drama Biology
3 - I agree with peanut, I hear religion and politics are a little iffy to add into your essay. I...
Undergraduatesushiwrap - Nov 24, 2012 / mikiibee - Nov 27, 2012
|'Second Chance' - about someone who has made an impact on your life
Undergraduatecc2013 - Nov 27, 2012 / cc2013 - Nov 27, 2012
|'never failed at loving me unconditionally' - UT A Someone a big impact on your life
Undergraduatemikiibee - Nov 27, 2012 / mikiibee - Nov 27, 2012
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