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|Overcoming Shyness - Significant Challenge
4 - It would be better if you talk about an anecdote instead of the whole process of overcoming your fear...
Undergraduatelalala15 - Dec 7, 2012 / Nicolas40 - Dec 7, 2012
|NYU Sup ; Academic interests/ What intriuges you: Apple's ability/ Japan
2 - 2nd quesiton: I think your response shows your passion and knowledge about Japan. I would suggest to remove...
Undergraduatekirashuu - Nov 30, 2012 / lalala15 - Dec 7, 2012
|Why your first choice major?/ Title of your life story ? : Emerson College
2 - I have always been attracted to words, and drawn to reading and writing stories. When I am using words...
Undergraduatecourtney24601 - Dec 7, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 7, 2012
|What influenced you/ Dream person/ Work experience/ interests; Syracuse Supplement
NEW - Hi, i'm applying for Syracuse University and here's the short answers for the supplement. i'm not the best when...
Undergraduateislube91 - Dec 7, 2012 / — -
|The Power of Perseverance - PS; My mom has always told me that quitting is not an option
5 - I think your essay is excellent and you clearly write very well. Keep it up, proofread always....
Undergraduateck135 - Nov 29, 2012 / Safire - Dec 7, 2012
|Why Rhodes? Answer with character; 'Research opportunities and fellowships'
NEW - Prompt: Why Rhodes? Character Limit: 1250 While in a session with the adviser at the EducationUSA I found...
Undergraduatemoon05 - Dec 7, 2012 / — -
|Discuss why you want to study engineering and why DUKE? - DUKE supplement
Undergraduatedkjonny - Nov 28, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 7, 2012
|My physics teacher, the person who made an impact on me; UT Austin essay
Undergraduate31eeld - Nov 28, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 7, 2012
|The reasons for transfer; Statement - 'I did an internship at the Salon Du Dessin'
NEW - During my freshman year, I did an internship at the Salon Du Dessin. The Salon Du Dessin is an...
UndergraduateHourea - Dec 7, 2012 / — -
|I represented my school at Physics Olympiad- university entrance essay
3 - I don't want to seem harsh but truthfully, I think the general tone is a bit redundant. There is...
Undergraduatesebastiann436 - Dec 7, 2012 / Hourea - Dec 7, 2012
|'assistant teacher for SAT Math voluneering' - UT Austin Topic B: issue of importance
Undergraduatelilica12 - Nov 25, 2012 / dumi - Dec 7, 2012
|"Why major in film? It's such a waste of your intelligence."
3 - perhaps you wanted to say that you hear those comments again and again, but when you said, ' I...
Undergraduatewilson93 - Nov 28, 2012 / sebastiann436 - Dec 7, 2012
|Choose an issue of importance to you; Stray cats
Undergraduateyueshiqi - Dec 6, 2012 / yueshiqi - Dec 7, 2012
|Additional information essay-special life circumstances - Tsunami
3 - Okkkkkkkk.... this is my little help for you; ------------ I suggest you to remove the example from...
Undergraduatememorysim - Dec 3, 2012 / dumi - Dec 7, 2012
|'Upon Learning English' UC Prompt
3 - I also agree, your voice really came through in the essay which makes it good for a personal statement....
Undergraduateokhabin - Nov 28, 2012 / bigpapi - Dec 6, 2012
|What you learn from cultural difference? rigor in eastern culture/ vigor in western world
Undergraduateyisha - Dec 1, 2012 / yisha - Dec 6, 2012
|Sobering Discovery - UC - the world you come from
2 - Essay is good but needs some work. Many grammar issues and punctuation errors. Content is pretty good with...
Undergraduateadrianpzamora - Nov 28, 2012 / Abby5 - Dec 6, 2012
|EMORY SUP use 5 sentences to describe yourself
4 - The personal statement is an exercise in self-reflection. Questions to consider: What errors or regrets have taught you...
UndergraduateDearcollege2013 - Nov 30, 2012 / Abby5 - Dec 6, 2012
|Page 87 of Autobiography (VCU); the white ceiling, covered in cracks vs inspiration
3 - I agree with admissions... You tried extremely hard to be descriptive but I had no idea why this moment...
Undergraduatezstarbux - Dec 2, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|"The proof of Gold is Fire" - Fire on Ice
Undergraduatejnichole - Dec 2, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|Admission Essay for Occupational Therapy Transfer
2 - I think a better angle to take would be "Why I want to be an occupational therapist", not "Why...
UndergraduateJul21 - Dec 4, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|"Pursuit without passion is trivial" - PTCAS personal statement application
2 - 1. I think you should say "physical therapy/therapist" instead of "PT" (Abbreviating looks very informal) 2. What about...
Undergraduatedroorda - Dec 3, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|I traveled to Poland; Peace Corps: Cross Cultural Essay
3 - If you need to eliminate words, you can take this whole paragraph out. It doesn't really do anything...
Undergraduatebrenden - Dec 4, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|Rutgers will open a great deal of opportunities for myself!
UndergraduateJunior1994 - Nov 28, 2012 / pawan457 - Dec 6, 2012
|'putting my thoughts into a sketch' - extracurricular activities or work experience
Undergraduateesarcosmos - Dec 6, 2012 / esarcosmos - Dec 6, 2012
|My Ventures Into The New Lands - harvard supplemental
8 - I have made some changes in my essay , cut down descriptions of monuments and added some anecdotes and...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 2, 2012 / sarthakjain - Dec 6, 2012
|'The freedom of speech and thought' - Why Bard College?
3 - Well, a friend was telling me that colleges pick you on how you distinguish the college itself in your...
Undergraduatehashmnahz94 - Dec 6, 2012 / hashmnahz94 - Dec 6, 2012
|This brings to me what I want to be - Syracuse University Essay
Undergraduatemyacobi - Dec 5, 2012 / dumi - Dec 6, 2012
|Williams window essay; 'The girl walks slowly into the tack room'
Undergraduatebee123 - Dec 5, 2012 / Didgeridoo - Dec 6, 2012
|The Dickinson application for 2013 essay; 'I am defined by my mistakes'
Undergraduateskhan196 - Dec 5, 2012 / skhan196 - Dec 6, 2012
|'Readily prepared' - Most significant challenge you've faced? (MIT)
4 - Hello, You did not answer the question correctly. What you did here was just tell a story. The...
Undergraduateyara - Dec 6, 2012 / admission2012 - Dec 6, 2012
|Effects of grandparents' cancer on academics, optional essay C
3 - During my childhood my parents barely had time for me because they worked late hours and by the...
Undergraduatesonyab0627 - Nov 23, 2012 / dumi - Dec 6, 2012
|Inside the Mind of A Chessplayer - Common App EC description, need outside opinion
Undergraduatesoftie1995 - Dec 5, 2012 / dumi - Dec 6, 2012
|Italy has welcomed many tourists from America - how you could enrich AUR's community
Undergraduatecelinamarie - Dec 6, 2012 / dumi - Dec 6, 2012
|Describe a challenge or obstacle you have overcome in your life: about my ADHD
3 - usnews.com/education/blogs/professors-guide/2010/09/15/10-tips-for-writing-the-college-application-essay Hope this helps! Good luck! You'll have a great time in college :)...
Undergraduateukballer1012 - Nov 30, 2012 / geebs5 - Dec 6, 2012
|Texas A&M Inspiration essay. 'When I was a child I remember living in a shed.'
Undergraduateshare8a - Nov 28, 2012 / dumi - Dec 6, 2012
|'Raise your hand if..' - UT Austin Type B- Issue of Art Education
2 - I liked your "opening paragraph, " it binds reader and make them read whole essay. This is really good...
Undergraduatekkone - Nov 27, 2012 / deepakbaniya - Dec 6, 2012
|Face your fear! Be courageous! ; UBC supplementary
Undergraduatebillykeyss - Dec 3, 2012 / dumi - Dec 5, 2012
|My father bought me a telescope - signficant experience ;Common App essay
Undergraduatecreepernaut - Dec 5, 2012 / Pahan - Dec 5, 2012
|'The end of the Electoral College' - College App Essay: Electoral Colleges
3 - I have to agree with linting here. It's a great essay, really well written, but it's not what colleges...
UndergraduateLogan2016 - Nov 25, 2012 / amandaco - Dec 5, 2012
|have had fall out on my grades through the semesters
Undergraduateemindreamz - Dec 5, 2012 / dumi - Dec 5, 2012
|Why is Education Important? - the seed of life - Topic B- UT
10 - My suggestion :"Lower unemployment rate among educated individuals was mainly ascribed/attributed to the fact that companies...
UndergraduateAshley5789 - Nov 30, 2012 / ah_zafari - Dec 5, 2012
|"In your face, I did it!" ; naive to strong
Undergraduatekatyaa123 - Dec 5, 2012 / katyaa123 - Dec 5, 2012
|'self-thinking citizens' - Purdue education to achieve personal and professional goal
3 - Thank you...
Undergraduateearth - Nov 24, 2012 / earth - Dec 5, 2012
|It allowed me to discover my passion for business ; UC Transfer Prompt #1
3 - "a little to confident IN my abilities" "and realize that a career in health care administration was where I...
Undergraduateshmee2 - Nov 25, 2012 / amandaco - Dec 5, 2012
|Hi! My future amigo; Stanford Roommate essay
4 - with love is a bit extreme... try some other salutation. "so the next thing you will see is a...
Undergraduatesarthakjain - Dec 1, 2012 / college134nj - Dec 5, 2012
|I'm looking forward to closing one chapter of my life and to begin a new
2 - After researching this therapy approach and discussing it with my professor I feel ------------ (great promise, future plans, how...
Undergraduatemwslp - Dec 5, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|UBC SUPPLEMENTARY ESSAY; experience/ significant challenge/ activities
2 - They actively (enthusiastically?) ran around and chased after the ball, trying to score on us. Life is...
Undergraduatezxcero - Dec 4, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|Should I make it more personalized?Extra Curricular Common App Entry:
UndergraduateKOessay - Nov 28, 2012 / guyinblue - Dec 5, 2012
|How orchestra impacted me (Texas A&M Topic C)
2 - Music was my passion. You may want to start out your paper with something a bit less cliche. ...
UndergraduateAshley5789 - Dec 4, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|College Comp Portfolio - An Ironic Break; earn the position as the starting goalkeeper
Undergraduatekmurph14 - Dec 5, 2012 / 672jade - Dec 5, 2012
|Propsal Essay on Animal Tessting; Animal Cruelty is terrible and should not be legal
2 - BecauseI t is not required that scientists report how many mice, rats, or birds are used for experiments, but...
UndergraduateKatelan - Dec 3, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|'the patient differential diagnosis' - learned from an extracurricular activity.
2 - Hi :) You have done a wonderful job with this paper, very impressive! I think that your topic is...
Undergraduatetinkerbellcutie - Nov 24, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure"
Undergraduatemcast187 - Dec 2, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|I want to make a change in my community; exceptional hardships, challenges, opportunities
2 - Many people haven't even heard of this town and I have the dream that Hidalgo can become a metropolitan...
Undergraduatecero - Dec 2, 2012 / Jennyflower81 - Dec 5, 2012
|Admission Essay for AI of Miami
2 - Hi, "My long-term career objectives are definitely developing my skills through the training I will have gained throughout...
Undergraduatejberryjr - Nov 26, 2012 / DDDDISSSSSCO - Dec 5, 2012
|Speech and Language Pathology Master's Program Essay
Undergraduateashag323 - Nov 20, 2012 / dumi - Dec 4, 2012
|The redemption of Sydney Carton in A Tale of Two Cities
2 - While your overall argument about Carton's reasons for his sacrifice and the evidence you use to support it seem...
UndergraduateCarolineMoore - Dec 4, 2012 / Thaliak - Dec 4, 2012
|'My mom says I'm an overachiever.'; Georgetown supplement
2 - I love your opening and closing and your use of specific numbers of seconds. I read the feedback of...
UndergraduateSoccer13 - Nov 22, 2012 / cake_eater6 - Dec 4, 2012
|circumstances that may have had an impact on your academic performance. UWreadmission
Undergraduatebimongol - Dec 3, 2012 / bimongol - Dec 4, 2012
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